Ok, so a few weeks ago FI and I changed our wedding date from May 28th to April 23rd. This makes it a bit more tricky since it is closer to when my classes end (yay-- last year of school!). Also, the dj probably won't be able to make it, and neither will one of FI's aunts. We changed the date because my 90 year old grandmother (who lives across the country) was planning a trip out here but would have to leave before May 1st. Well, of course noone told her that we changed our date (don't want to stress her out, make her feel pressured). Last night my mom was telling me about a conversation she had with my grandmother... My grandmother was generally confused and talking about my two older sisters' upcoming weddings (when really just one of them is getting married, next September). My grandmother said she wasn't going to come for a visit in the Spring, and was just coming out in September for my older sister's wedding.
I understand that it's very hard to travel at 90 and also my older sister is also the eldest of a ridiculous amount of grandkids and so it is a pretty big deal. My grandmother also didn't know that we had changed our date, and in fact had forgotten that I was even getting married in the first place. But somehow I still feel kind of hurt.
Now that she's not coming, should we change our date back to the original May 28th? I feel so frustrated and like I just want to stick with one thing-- I don't want to have to call all the vendors again about changing the date. I feel super frustrated. FI thinks we should change it back, but at the same time I don't know what will happen with my grandmother in the next 7 months and she might change her mind.
What do you think?
Re: Changing the date... again?
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My 90 year old grandmothers will not be able to come to my wedding, either. It bums me a bit because they were able to come out for my younger brother's wedding, but that was also 8 years ago, before either of them was living in an assisted living. My mom is actually visiting grandmas this week (they actually live across the hall from each other - my parents grew up in the same small town) and she's working with the assisted living center to see if it will be possible to use one of their computers to hook up to Skype for the ceremony (provided the church will allow it - I can't imagine they won't, seeing as how I've been a member my entire life and it's only to so that my grandmothers can attend)...if skype doesn't work out, the same friend who said they'd hold the laptop during the ceremony also said they'd hold a cell phone and will be responsible for calling my grandmas and letting them listen to the ceremony...either way, they'll be at the ceremony with me.
UNLESS: you have sent out some kind of STDs or put deposits on things (ie. reception, caterer, dj etc)
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Angie-- Skype was our original plan for including my grandmother, as we had already 'come to peace' as it were that she wouldn't be attending our wedding. I hope that works out for you.
I guess I got my hopes up that she would be there. I shouldn't have.
Oh-- and also she doesn't live in assisted living. She lives in the same home that she and my grandfather bought for $1 down when they immigrated to Canada. Now that my grandfather is gone, she lives there alone. She does have children and grandchildren that live close by though.
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She's coming down this weekend with my Mom, and that's already been turned into a horse and pony show. First, we had to wonder whether she was going to throw some attention-seeking fit in the middle of the airport and refuse to board the plane, which luckily didn't happen. She's been known to fake heart attacks and fainting spells just so she can go to the hospital and get attention. She's nuts. Now she's on the plane, and we have been informed that she wants to shop for a wedding dress for me while she's down here.
1) My Mom and I hate to shop. At all. Ever.
2) I'm not engaged and will not step foot in a dress store
3) She won't be invited to dress shop even when I am engaged. It'll just be me and my Mom.
Ugh! I need prescription sedatives to get through this weekend. Can I trade? I'll find a way to get your grandma to your wedding since you clearly want her there, and you find a way to keep my grandma away from mine someday?
We're switching the date back. And that is the last time the date is changing. Unfortunately, I got confirmation from Parks Canada about the ceremony site today so I have to email back and let them know of the date change (again).
Thanks ladies for all your input!