Registry-asking for money okay?

pokey2be · May 2010

My guy and I have been together for years and have lived together as well. We don't really have to much to ask for with a registry. He is out on medical leave from work and we could really use money to pay the bills instead? Is it okay to ask for this? If so, how?

shellydiane820 · May 2010

No it is not.

nicoleflores2005 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-asking-money-okay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ce4e28b-e332-4647-a95c-8842f22dffbaPost:c9ae5da3-f83a-4eb5-aa54-678299ced902">Registry-asking for money okay?</a>:
[QUOTE]My guy and I have been together for years and have lived together as well. We don't really have to much to ask for with a registry. He is out on medical leave from work and we could really use money to pay the bills instead? Is it okay to ask for this? If so, how?
Posted by pokey2be[/QUOTE]

Negative. You don't ask for gifts. If you prefer monetary gifts I would not register anywhere and just let that news spread by word of mouth. Good luck.

MeaghanandMichael · May 2010

Nope. Please don't.

danieliza1127 · May 2010

Please see the FAQ sticky post at the top of the board.

penad5 · May 2010

We are in a similar situation - so we registered for a few things for those who are not comfortable giving cash, and let our parents know that what we need is new refrigerator and to let anyone who was looking for ideas know that cash towards that purchase was a good idea.
But you shouldn't directly ask for cash

tlv204 · May 2010

You never ask for anything. Even if you register, you don't put the information in an invite and you certainly don't go up to people saying "Hey I really want this as a wedding gift!" and it's the same for money. You can mention to your mom or a gossipy aunt that you're saving money for something and hope they pass the message along, and many people will get the hint if you have just a small registry (which I recommend-many people WILL buy you a tangible gift and it might as well be somethign you want) or no registry at all.

*BeachBride0410* · May 2010

no................

nda_roxybabe · May 2010

Is it ever okay to ask for money?

gypsybride2010 · May 2010

You can't ask for gifts of any kind but you can get the message across by not registering. If someone asks you, you can always say something like, "Oh, we have everything we need but we are saving for a down payment for a house (or whatever the case may be). You can also have family spread it via word of mouth but no, you can't request cash gifts. Please do not mention gifts at all on your invitation.

You may want to register for a a few items (upgrade somethings that wear out quickly like sheets, towels, etc.) for the people who insist on buying boxed gifts.

*BeachBride0410* · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-asking-money-okay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ce4e28b-e332-4647-a95c-8842f22dffbaPost:c9ae5da3-f83a-4eb5-aa54-678299ced902">Registry-asking for money okay?</a>:
[QUOTE]My guy and I have been together for years and have lived together as well. We don't really have to much to ask for with a registry. <strong>He is out on medical leave from work and we could really use money to pay the bills instead</strong>? Is it okay to ask for this? If so, how?
Posted by pokey2be[/QUOTE]

I am sorry he is on medical leave, but if you can not afford your bills why are you getting married now!? just wait......or scale back your wedding. Be mature and pay your bills on your own, not ask people for wedding money to do so.

JennaV26 · May 2010

Sorry you're in that situation, it's still not okay to ask directly for money.

frenchy730 · May 2010

It's never ok to request money be given to you as gifts.

Just don't register anywhere. If anyone asks your parent/friends about gift possibilites tell them to pass along the "they have all the material items they need at the moment, but they are trying to save up for _____" line. People will get the hint.

jnic0319 · May 2010

Only from a bank.

tidetravel · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-asking-money-okay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ce4e28b-e332-4647-a95c-8842f22dffbaPost:a8711760-461a-46fd-aa82-f0864ec9fd18">Re: Registry-asking for money okay?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Registry-asking for money okay? : I am sorry he is on medical leave, but if you can not afford your bills why are you getting married now!? just wait......or scale back your wedding. Be mature and pay your bills on your own, not ask people for wedding money to do so.
Posted by *BeachBride0410*[/QUOTE]

Ditto.

Paying for a party is not as important as paying rent.

Midgetth · May 2010

It doesn't matter if he's on medical leave. I'm sorry to hear because my FFIL just had a kidney transplant & he's on medicla leave. He did NOT ask for money people generously gave it to him. you can NEVER ask for money especially if it's something wedding related. Most people will probably buy you something any way like towels or give you money. but even if they do give you money it' meant for household items not paying your bills. That money is for you to enjoy. And I agree if you are in that much of a bind push back your wedding or scale it back. that's what we had to do.

knoxvilleshoes · May 2010

If you're not pissed off by all of this bitch ass comments then props to you.

To be honest its your wedding. Keyword.. YOUR. Who cares what the etiquette is. Its not the 1900s anymore, and who says you have to do things by the book. I don't think you should go out and tell everyone HEY GIVE ME YO MONEY but if anyone asks where you're registered just mention that you're not but that you're saving up for something. Because honestly Im in the same situation, we have lived together for a while and we have all of our household things. I just let my parents know that we are wanting cash so if anyone asks them they can mention it.

Or you can do the thing where people pay to dance with the bride and groom.

Point is... Its your wedding and who cares what other people think. Don't let anyone make you miserable on your wedding day because of etiquette you think you should follow.

Bubbalub · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-asking-money-okay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ce4e28b-e332-4647-a95c-8842f22dffbaPost:02925798-3b6f-4090-abf2-4182696c6997">Re: Registry-asking for money okay?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you're not pissed off by all of this bitch ass comments then props to you. To be honest its your wedding. Keyword.. YOUR. Who cares what the etiquette is. Its not the 1900s anymore, and who says you have to do things by the book. I don't think you should go out and tell everyone HEY GIVE ME YO MONEY but if anyone asks where you're registered just mention that you're not but that you're saving up for something. Because honestly Im in the same situation, we have lived together for a while and we have all of our household things. I just let my parents know that we are wanting cash so if anyone asks them they can mention it. Or you can do the thing where people pay to dance with the bride and groom. Point is... Its your wedding and who cares what other people think. Don't let anyone make you miserable on your wedding day because of etiquette you think you should follow.
Posted by knoxvilleshoes[/QUOTE]

Oh FFS, don't post "advice" on the etiquette board if your advice is crappy and selfish. "It's YOUR day!!!!SMILES!!!!" Really? The fact that it is a wedding does not excuse anyone from using proper etiquette and common sense. You would not ask for money for your birthday, don't ask for money for your wedding.

Proper etiquette exists for a reason. It keeps people from making fools of themselves and acting like selfish brats.

smokeybailey · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-asking-money-okay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ce4e28b-e332-4647-a95c-8842f22dffbaPost:11477393-2ff1-4390-ba6d-f82a9a7acd37">Re: Registry-asking for money okay?</a>:
[QUOTE]Is it ever okay to ask for money?
Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

Eh, when my mom would ask what I wanted for my birthday I would say money. If that's what I wanted, that's what I would say.

polichik · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-asking-money-okay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ce4e28b-e332-4647-a95c-8842f22dffbaPost:02925798-3b6f-4090-abf2-4182696c6997">Re: Registry-asking for money okay?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you're not pissed off by all of this bitch ass comments then props to you. To be honest its your wedding. Keyword.. YOUR. <strong>Who cares what the etiquette is. Its not the 1900s anymore, and who says you have to do things by the book.</strong> I don't think you should go out and tell everyone HEY GIVE ME YO MONEY but if anyone asks where you're registered just mention that you're not but that you're saving up for something. Because honestly Im in the same situation, we have lived together for a while and we have all of our household things. I just let my parents know that we are wanting cash so if anyone asks them they can mention it. Or you can do the thing where people pay to dance with the bride and groom. Point is... Its your wedding and who cares what other people think. Don't let anyone make you miserable on your wedding day because of etiquette you think you should follow.
Posted by knoxvilleshoes[/QUOTE]

Then why the flying f.uck are you on an etiquette board?

knoxvilleshoes · May 2010

Because I can be, and I was responding to her post.

polichik · May 2010

That's like going onto a message board for vegetarians and telling everyone to eat veal. That's just stupid.

smokeybailey · May 2010

I always ask this, do the people you are inviting KNOW you? If the do, then they know your situation. If they don't give you cash because you have a small registry, they were never going to give you cash. Unless you are inviting strangers then everyone should be on board. There is no need to tell people that they should give you money. Point them to your registry and let them decide.

Also, you should care if the people YOU care about think you are an ass. I'm just sayin'.

knoxvilleshoes · May 2010

If its not your day then whos fucking day is it?
Thats why everyone is there. You shouldn't be miserable because of someone you dont have to invite to your wedding.
I would ask for money for my birthday. Honestly, its easier than getting a gift. If some person made a huge deal about asking for money then they just don't have to come.

smokeybailey · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-asking-money-okay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ce4e28b-e332-4647-a95c-8842f22dffbaPost:a8687fd5-f6d4-4327-a157-bc961dcad026">Re: Registry-asking for money okay?</a>:
[QUOTE]If its not your day then whos fucking day is it? Thats why everyone is there. You shouldn't be miserable because of someone you dont have to invite to your wedding. I would ask for money for my birthday. Honestly, its easier than getting a gift. If some person made a huge deal about asking for money then they just don't have to come.
Posted by knoxvilleshoes[/QUOTE]

How does this conversation go?
Hey, Aunt Tilda, this is Knoxville. I just wanted to tell you that I want money for my wedding. Well, I ASSUME you are giving me something, right?

Or does it go like this?
Hi, Knoxville's mom, i see that knoxville didn't register.
Well, Aunt Tilda, knoxville has a lot of bills and what-not so they probably would appreciate a cash gift instead.
Well, I like to GIVE a THING so I'll buy her a lawn gnome. Everyone loves a lawn gnome! (<---this is why you register for something small at least)

So, no, you don't TELL people to give you cash. You either don't register or register for a small amount of items and let the word spread. People asked me what I was getting my sister. I said cash and they did the same.

knoxvilleshoes · May 2010

I don't need anyone to pay my bills because I can do that myself.

Whats the point in registering for things you dont want? Its a waste of their money and your time returning it.

And Im not saying you have to TELL anyone about the fucking cash. Most weddings have boxes for cards anyway thats where the money will probably go.
Obviously we could argue back and forth about this whole thing but really, I don't care what anyone does.

Im just saying its your wedding and you can do what you want.

knoxvilleshoes · May 2010

Plus, the people you are inviting to the wedding are probably people who know you, and know your situtation and wouldn't be offend if you asked for money.

Bubbalub · May 2010

I don't care how well I know someone, if they ASKED me for money for their wedding they would get a card instead, tops. That is so beyond rude. I'm serious when I say that you, Knoxville, should not be posting in this thread if you are giving BAD etiquette advice.

knoxvilleshoes · May 2010

I can post where the f.uck I want thanks.

Obviously you've probably had everything given to you. So you probably don't know much about having to pay for things yourself.

I just posted my opinion to her and I dont' think its bad advice. You can think what you want. Really I went over the top talking crap on everyone else because I just like to start crap on boards when I'm bored. I wasn't going to come back, but you guys are fun! So maybe I willl. Thanks for taking things overboard for my entertainment!

Registry-asking for money okay?

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