Have you ever cheated?

annakb8 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ever-cheated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e9dc3931-3e68-4db0-b910-3d371b5eae9cPost:a5a4611e-1ffd-48a0-bf17-2c296cfd63c8">Re: Have you ever cheated?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you ever cheated? : Seriously? People who get married after only being in one relationship scare me. I think it's because my dad was always all "there are lots of guys out there - meet them, date them, learn from them and move on."
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

Ditto. I feel like my first relationship was one big lesson in "what not to do in a relationship" for both of us. My ex didn't treat me awesomely but I think he learned a lot from our relationship and I believe he treats girls he dates now much better.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ever-cheated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e9dc3931-3e68-4db0-b910-3d371b5eae9cPost:a5a4611e-1ffd-48a0-bf17-2c296cfd63c8">Re: Have you ever cheated?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you ever cheated? : Seriously? People who get married after only being in one relationship scare me. I think it's because my dad was always all "there are lots of guys out there - meet them, date them, learn from them and move on."
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

They scare you? That's weird. Maybe it's not the norm or the best situation for most people but I don't really think it's "scary."

My sister married her first boyfriend, and Ben was my first boyfriend too... although, I did have a few relationships in between the first time we dated and when we got married.

Hietaro · December 2010

Yes. I'm not proud of it, but my ex emotionally ruined me, and being 19, I didn't really think a lot of things through. Fortunately for me, I got FH out of the deal. So it was well worth it. Once things started to get serious with FH [read-openly admitting our feelings and wanting to pursue a relationship], I did break it off with my ex [though still had to go through a 9 month divorce process]. But not only was my ex emotionally abusive, he was also physically abusive and cheated on me as well, so I don't feel bad about it. FH is totally worth it, in any case.

polichik · December 2010

When I met DH, I had just started dating a guy back at college the day before (I was in school in CO and met DH when visiting a mutual friend at their college in Iowa). I totally fell for DH that weekend, but nothing happened between us. Because DH was about to leave for Malaysia for 3 months, and I left for India for 6 months by the time he got back, I didn't think anything would ever happen between us.

I stayed with the guy for a month even though I know what I felt for DH was stronger than what I felt for the other guy, because I thought I'd never see DH again. FWIW, the guy I was dating cheated on me with three girls the last night of college that year, so the relationship lasted a grand total of a month. But I would classify the feelings I had for DH during that time as emotional infidelity, because I was in a relationship with someone else, albeit an immature one.

I absolutely find some other guys attractive, and I think that harmless flirting is a part of life (as long as it's truly harmless and the partner is aware of and fine with it), but I couldn't fathom ever wanting to act on anything.

jessienjeremy · December 2010

Nope.. I think if you have the urge to cheat .. then you need to get out of your relationship.

I have been cheated on before by pretty much every guy I ever dated. I told FI if your gonna cheat, trade up not down. At least let her be so hot that I would even look at her and say.. WOW ok...

mica178 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ever-cheated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e9dc3931-3e68-4db0-b910-3d371b5eae9cPost:d1f00f1d-4d2b-4713-b6bc-29a3b2f37f81">Re: Have you ever cheated?</a>:
[QUOTE] I have been cheated on before by pretty much every guy I ever dated. I told FI if your gonna cheat, trade up not down. At least let her be so hot that I would even look at her and say.. WOW ok...
Posted by jessienjeremy[/QUOTE]

My ex cheated on me twice. In both cases, the girl was older than me and significantly out of shape. One was a serious alcoholic. The other looked like a horse. I was insulted when I found out. C'mon, if you're going to cheat, she'd better be super hot.

Well, he's an ex for a reason. Well, many reasons.

[Deleted User] · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ever-cheated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e9dc3931-3e68-4db0-b910-3d371b5eae9cPost:a5a4611e-1ffd-48a0-bf17-2c296cfd63c8">Re: Have you ever cheated?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you ever cheated? : Seriously? People who get married after only being in one relationship scare me. I think it's because my dad was always all "there are lots of guys out there - meet them, date them, learn from them and move on."
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

I don't get this. H was my first relationship, and I don't/didn't need to date other guys to know he was the one for me. There are plenty of guys out there to learn from relationship-wise, sure, but in my case, I personally learned enough negative things to know what to look for in a guy, and not to waste my time with men who weren't worth it. That sounds stuck up, I know, but I never saw the point in dating guys I knew I wasn't going to be with forever.

WildRumpus · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ever-cheated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e9dc3931-3e68-4db0-b910-3d371b5eae9cPost:a5a4611e-1ffd-48a0-bf17-2c296cfd63c8">Re: Have you ever cheated?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you ever cheated? : Seriously? People who get married after only being in one relationship scare me. I think it's because my dad was always all "there are lots of guys out there - meet them, date them, learn from them and move on."
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

That's a little harsh...FI is my first serious...everything. While I agree that it shouldn't happen with every first relationship, some people really do just get lucky and meet "their person" early on. I don't think it's fair to say that it won't ever work. Just my .02

deburnin · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ever-cheated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e9dc3931-3e68-4db0-b910-3d371b5eae9cPost:a5a4611e-1ffd-48a0-bf17-2c296cfd63c8">Re: Have you ever cheated?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you ever cheated? : Seriously? People who get married after only being in one relationship scare me. I think it's because my dad was always all "there are lots of guys out there - meet them, date them, learn from them and move on."
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

<div>My mom married her first BF. They've been together happily for 26 years now. She always gave me the opposite advice, that there's no need to date around to find "the one." *shrug* Different strokes.</div>

Simply Fated · December 2010

Yes, but to be fair, I didn't know I was cheating. True story.

And I don't count kisses on cheeks hello and good-bye-style.

glam70s · December 2010

I've never cheated either.. FI is my first serious relationship. We met when I was 14 in 9th grade English class and started dating a year later at the school Valentine's Day dance.. Before that I'd had what I'd considered at that age to be boyfriends, but now I know better.

Before FI, my longest "relationship" was 2 weeks. Our 11th dating anniversary is in 2 months from today and we've never even come close to breaking up, despite a long distance relationship for a year, getting through university, etc. I wouldn't have it any other way, we've practically grown up together and I love it..

Once when we had been dating about a month I went camping with some girlfriends. We met some boys and one of them really liked me. I liked him too and considered cheating but in the end I decided that I respected FI too much. If I was going to kiss another guy, I was going to break up with FI first. That quickly made me realize just how much I actually did like him, so we stayed together and I've never had the urge since. The whole thing was ridiculous, but I was 15, what can you do?

golden1215 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ever-cheated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e9dc3931-3e68-4db0-b910-3d371b5eae9cPost:c6a182f1-9495-4195-9839-78289e116328">Re: Have you ever cheated?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, but I think cheating is a somewhat harsh word for it. I was seriously dating two guys at the same time and I just couldn't make the deciion to leave one and commit to the other. Yes, it is possible, IMO, <strong>to be in love with thwo people at the same time.</strong> Very sticky situation. End result was that I left both. My only real regret was that I hurt one of them pretty badly. I'm not proud of that at all.
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

this. all the way.

plus I have also done the drunken dumb college girl thing and kissed another guy while I had a BF. Not proud of it but whatev, shiit happens.

zantster · December 2010

Nope. I am a true blue believer in the karma is a bitch theory, so I could never bring myself to do it knowing how I would feel if I ever found out someone did that to me.

srkropf · December 2010

Does it count if I was the person he was cheating with? If so yes, if not, no. I've only had 4 "official" relationships. I learned that if you said you were his friend, he couldn't get mad at me if I had other friends. hehehe

courtney1188 · December 2010

Answering third question makes me feel like sucha horrible person! I did cheat on an ex...in all fairness, he basically cut off communication with me before I did it. Was out of town for work a lot and all of the sudden stopped seeing me when he was home, stopped calling, wouldn't return my calls or texts...it took a few weeks to be able to get ahold of him to break up with him, he made it pretty darn clear he didn't want to be with me. So I was feeling lonely and unwanted and had a moment of weakness with an ex.

I actually feel worse for the guy I was cheating with, because he thought it meant we would get back together, which didn't happen.

UGHH I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON.

Birdie1483 · December 2010

You're not a horrible person Courtney. I had a very similar story, just in a shorter time frame.

I think everyone makes mistakes and as long as we learned our lesson and hopefully don't repeat our transgression with our current FIs/Hs, then life goes on.

NuggetBrain · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ever-cheated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e9dc3931-3e68-4db0-b910-3d371b5eae9cPost:a5a4611e-1ffd-48a0-bf17-2c296cfd63c8">Re: Have you ever cheated?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you ever cheated? : Seriously? People who get married after only being in one relationship scare me. I think it's because my dad was always all "there are lots of guys out there - meet them, date them, learn from them and move on."
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

I also got married to the first guy I was in a relationship with. Hell, Noodle was the first (and only) guy I went on a date with. I was a big fat nerd in high school.

FutureMrsMcBride · December 2010

No I never have, though I've been cheated on in the past. I think it's just so disloyal, and if you don't have a loyal partner how can you ever trust them?

LoveMuffins · December 2010

Well going by the parameters, I have cheated on both my ex-boyfriend and my FI constantly and with MULTIPLE people... considering that I have a very affectionate/tactile group of friends and I have kissed both guy and girl friends on the mouth more than once. However, if we add TONGUE into the equation, then no, I have never cheated =P

TheKnittingJedi · December 2010

No, never. There were rumors that my ex cheated on me when we were dating, but I never found out for sure (though I never completely trusted him throughout our entire relationship). Just the rumors were enough to make me feel horrible that he might have betrayed me like that, and I would never want to make anyone else (especially my FI) feel that way.

ETA: About the whole first relationship thing...FI is my second serious relationship (said ex being my first) and I am his first ever (the most he had before me was a prom date with a family friend). We know that we're right for each other, so we don't worry about not having "experience" with relationships.

ekelly83 · December 2010

Nope, never cheated... Was definitely cheated on once.. Horrible experience...

katheriner89 · December 2010

I've never cheated. Never. I've had plenty of times I could have cheated, on every single one of my past BF's & my FI. But I can't do it. I have a hatred towards most ppl that cheat. I think it's fueled by the fact that my father is a total WHORE & cheated on my mom when she was 8 months prego with me.. I've been cheated on ONCE. I pushed his a$$ down the stairs & punched him in the face.

Cheating is by far the most selfish/inconsiderate thing you can possibly do.
I don't cheat because I treat others as I would like to be treated...
& I don't want my time wasted, if i'm not happy with someone I'll call of the relationship.

Rosie109 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ever-cheated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e9dc3931-3e68-4db0-b910-3d371b5eae9cPost:1c52132f-75ba-4ebe-b969-b730bfad95fe">Re: Have you ever cheated?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've never cheated. Never. I've had plenty of times I could have cheated, on every single one of my past BF's & my FI. But I can't do it. I have a hatred towards most ppl that cheat. I think it's fueled by the fact that my father is a total WHORE & cheated on my mom when she was 8 months prego with me.. I've been cheated on ONCE. <strong>I pushed his a$$ down the stairs & punched him in the face</strong>. Cheating is by far the most selfish/inconsiderate thing you can possibly do. I don't cheat because I treat others as I would like to be treated... & I don't want my time wasted, if i'm not happy with someone I'll call of the relationship.
Posted by katheriner89[/QUOTE]

<div>Aw. Domestic violence makes my heart flutter. </div>

autumnbreeze26 · December 2010

I have cheated (not just kissing, either) on everyone I've ever dated. I felt for the longest time that there was something wrong with me. Then I met my fiance. He is the most awesomest man ever. He treats me better than I've ever been treated and I love him more deeply than I've ever loved anyone. I couldn't even imagine cheating on him. I have no desire to cheat. He trusts me 100% and I would never want to do anything to lose that trust.

Trust is something that was never given to me, which is partly why I feel like I felt the need to cheat. Before I ever cheated, I would get accused of cheating. Finally I would say, "If I'm constantly getting accused of doing it, I might as well do it." Not that I'm proud of it nor is that an excuse. It is what it is.

Ishaba11 · December 2010

I have cheated on every guy i've ever been with except FI. Must mean something right? Around 2 years into a relationship, I would get bored and cheat. I even carried on two relationships at once. When I was in college I had been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We had both pretty much checked out of the relationship but didnt want to end it because it had been so long. Well i met a new guy in college (which was only about 45 minutes from my hometown) and carried on a relationship with him also. The new guy knew I was with my ex and didnt care. The new guy also broke up with me before the ex did. The ex and I stayed together almost a year and a half after that when we finally decided to end it. Heck, I even cheated on my last ex with FI and FI cheated on his ex-fiancee with me. Good thing we both feel like we found the one and dont have a reason to cheat anymore.

Heather8505 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ever-cheated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e9dc3931-3e68-4db0-b910-3d371b5eae9cPost:ea696c28-6210-46b0-9a3b-6878eb245c54">Re: Have you ever cheated?</a>:
[QUOTE]I also voted no, but I have been kissed on the lips by other boys at several points in my current and past relationships, usually while at a bar or a party where lots of alcohol was involved. When a guy tries to kiss me, particularly when other people are around, I try not to make a scene of myself. I will protest but not like scream or slap the guy or anything dramatic like that, so some of the more adamant men have been able to get a kiss in despite me politely declining the request.
Posted by jamierobin[/QUOTE]

WHAT?!

cndycne2005 · December 2010

I came close, once. I only had one boyfriend before my fiance. Even though we were together for six months, the relationship had fizzled (for me at least) around the three month mark. He wasn't very emotionally stable, so he was very clingy. Sweetheart to a fault, but I just couldn't handle how seriously his feelings for me were progressing while mine, just were not for him. To make a long story short, we started dating the 2nd half of out senior year in high school, and we "took a break" shortly after starting college and it was during that break that I developed a brief emotional relationship with (and almost kissed) another guy. He had taken me home from a party, and while we were talking he leaned in to kiss me, but I stopped him and told him that I still needed to officially end it with my estranged boyfriend before I could take that step with him. Ironically enough, I met this 2nd guy about the same time I met my fiance, but my fiance and I were just friends then. The 2nd guy ended up getting another girl pregnant sometime during that whole weird transition phase, so we never ended up dating. Thank God I never kissed him.

jemmini6 · December 2010

I've never cheated on anyone I've been in an official relationship with. When my ex and I broke up, I started dating this other guy on and off, we'll call him Ed. Ed was a nice guy, but that spark between us wasn't there, so we never really made it official. About a month in, he broke off (whatever we had) and then had another GF for about 2 weeks, then appologized and said he missed me etc, but during that time, I had spent the night with my ex (only got to 2nd base) and Ed flipped out and said that I cheated on him. I then reminded him that while this happend, he was screwing his new GF. Needless to say, I can confidently say I've never really cheated on anyone, but especially not an actual BF.

bluebeetle · December 2010

I also have never cheated, but have been the "other woman". Which I consider almost just as bad....I regret it...wish I wouldn't have done it...feel awful...and wish the girl knew what her man did. I was in love with him...and of course he kept leading me on to believe that he was going to leave her or something along those lines. I put myself in his shoes and I think "I could NEVER do that to someone I've been dating for 5 yrs." I don't understand it...I could never cheat...and yet, I was able to allow for a fellow girl to be cheated on.

Have you ever cheated?

Re: Have you ever cheated?

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