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Man of Honor Dilemma

WhitGun10WhitGun10
First Comment
in Wedding Party
I asked my cousin to be my Man of Honor when I got engaged. I have already set aside money in my budget to provide transportation for him. The problem I am having is that he refuses to come to wedding if I do not pay for his boyfriend/fiance to come. I do not have the money to pay for his boyfriend as well as him. I need advice on how to handle the situation.
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Re: Man of Honor Dilemma

  • tidetraveltidetravel member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments
    You're not under any obligation to pay for him to come, thus, are certainly not obligated to pay his date's way as well.

    He's being a jerkwad.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    You do not have to pay for his s/o.  If he refuses, call his bluff.  "We will not be able to pay for your s/o's expenses for the wedding, but we certainly plan to invite him as a guest.  What's that?  You won't come if we don't pay?  I'm sorry to hear that.  You'll be sorely missed."
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • Whippet8Whippet8 member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_man-of-honor-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:860a08ce-194b-452a-8750-35dcc1c8dfa0Post:0d3ed756-1f7c-42d4-9d32-c22defbfb8a1">Re: Man of Honor Dilemma</a>:
    [QUOTE]You do not have to pay for his s/o.  If he refuses, call his bluff.  "We will not be able to pay for your s/o's expenses for the wedding, but we certainly plan to invite him as a guest.  What's that?  You won't come if we don't pay?  I'm sorry to hear that.  You'll be sorely missed."
    Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

    THIS. And, I think he's being a real ass to demand something like that.
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  • saisongbirdsaisongbird
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    At this point, if it were me, I'd rescind the offer to pay for him!  But seriously, call his bluff.  Maybe he's interpreting it as you're not inviting his bf, since you're not paying for him?
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  • baystateapplebaystateapple member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_man-of-honor-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:860a08ce-194b-452a-8750-35dcc1c8dfa0Post:0d3ed756-1f7c-42d4-9d32-c22defbfb8a1">Re: Man of Honor Dilemma</a>:
    [QUOTE]You do not have to pay for his s/o.  If he refuses, call his bluff.  "We will not be able to pay for your s/o's expenses for the wedding, but we certainly plan to invite him as a guest.  What's that?  You won't come if we don't pay?  I'm sorry to hear that.  You'll be sorely missed."
    Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

    That's about as perfect a response as you could ask for.  He's being a jerk and I'd consider yourself well shut of him if he declines to come when you put your foot down.
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  • bbyckesbbyckes member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I'm jumping on the trix train as the response to go with.  That is awfully presumptive of him.  I hope this works out for you. 
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  • WhitGun10WhitGun10
    First Comment
    Thanks for all the advice. I talked to my mom and she said they could ride with her up but if he doesn't take that, then I can do nothing else. I just hate to see one of my best friends miss my wedding because of his arrogance.
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