So, the wedding is off.

scoetto · June 2010

Good for you for knowing now what is best for you and your child. It speaks volumes as to what kind of person you are. Not many people could do that, honestly. You'll be a wonderful mother - like you are now. Best of luck!

(and ps - don't go anywhere pleaseandthankyou)

ohwhynot · June 2010

Kate, you'll be fine as a single mother. As Scoetto pointed out, the strength of character and level of insightfulness that it took for you to call of the wedding are good indicators of your inner strength & resourcefulness. I've been a single mom for awhile, and I can tell you that it has its advantages. You and your son will be just fine.

georgia_bride09 · June 2010

So sorry to hear that kate. As the other ladies have said, you're better off!

You really should stick around. You know we like to talk NWR stuff.

We're here if you need us.

polichik · June 2010

My T&Ps are with you in this tough time, and as other pps have said, the fact that you were able to make this difficult decision says so much about your strength. Your child is lucky to have you as a mother.

Stackeye210 · June 2010

So sorry about this Bkate.......

laladypoet · June 2010

congratulations on not marrying the wrong person. a lot of people would've turned a blind eye so as not to deal with canceling the wedding.

andy71781 · June 2010

Hugs Kate. I hope you stick around.

kd.joseph · June 2010

Sorry Kate- As one single mother to another you'll be just fine. You'll find strength where you least expect it.
Do you have family to lean on also? And make sure you stay here. Good luck.

angiems97 · June 2010

Kate,
I am sorry you have to go through this, but it is for the best in the long run. Things work out for the best. Kudos for you for realizing it now and not after the marriage began which would make everything more complicated. Hang in there. Being a single mom who is happy is much better than being a married mom who is miserable. Good luck and take it day by day!!

Cantia · June 2010

Really sorry you are going through that, but you seem really strong and things have a way of working out somehow in the end. And as others have said, better now than too late. My mom was a single mom for ages and I turned out ok, I'm sure you'll be great to your lovely son.

shoegal715 · June 2010

I'm very sorry to hear this. Although, I give you mad props for ending it. So many women are naive, and go into marriage thinking things will get better or things will change. And then there are the women who are just too scared of change, or too embarrassed to face the scene of calling off the wedding.

I have a tremendous amount of respect for you, and I'm very optimistic about your future. You sound like such a strong woman.

About your BM dresses - if it were me, I'd definitely reimburse them. I would also return any shower or engagement gifts I have received.

As a bridesmaid, I would expect to get the money back, unless the ex-bride-to-be is under significant financial stress.

Best of luck and congratulations on making the first step towards your new and fabulous life.

It takes a lot of guts to call off a wedding. You should be proud of yourself.

shoegal715 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-off?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4552ad0c-28d4-4270-8585-59646e10fcfdPost:10d8cdd6-adeb-4dff-a96d-19ca1824616c">Re: So, the wedding is off.</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry, Kate.<strong> If I was one of your bridesmaids, I would decline your offer to reimburse for the dress and sell it on eBay or Craigslist.</strong>
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

<div>Now that I think about it, as a bridesmaid, I would do the same thing since my dear friend would be under such a tremendous amount of stress already. Maybe the girls can all sell their dresses together to get a better chance of having a bride buy all 4 or 5 of the dresses for her wedding party.</div>

squirrly · June 2010

Kate! I'm late, but I'm so sorry. I'm in Boston now, so if you wannna get together any time, just let me know. I'm not sure I have you on FB, though, so let me know how to find you.

sarabellam · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-off?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4552ad0c-28d4-4270-8585-59646e10fcfdPost:70ecbb7f-18f2-4fde-b486-6c5b20b5ee37">Re: So, the wedding is off.</a>:
[QUOTE]I will say I am scared shiitless of being a single parent. Holy fuuck that is going to suck. For those of you who have done it, how did you do it? Any tips? Posted by btrflykate1230[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry that you are going through this, but as others have said, it is a WHOLE lot easier now than later when you have to get divorce lawyers involved. As for tips on single motherhood, take it one day at a time at first. The first 2-3 weeks will be the hardest, but you will find your new "normal." If family and friends offer help with whatever, TAKE THEM UP ON IT!!! Prioritize, and realize that you DON'T have to be erfect at everything. If your house gets a little messy, nobody is going to judge you. If you eat take-out from the supermarket 4 days a week, big fucking deal. I would advise you to consult a lawyer to get a custody, visitation, and child support plan in place.

Good luck, stick around here for the company, and if you want to vent or ask for advice, you know where to come.

JanoBean75 · June 2010

Kate, I'm really sorry to hear this. Please don't GBCK!

beatlesgirl25 · June 2010

Kate, I'm really sorry to hear of this. As others have said, it's for the best that you realized this before going through with the wedding. Still, this can't be an easy time for you and I wish you all the best. You'll be in my thoughts.

amalama · June 2010

I'm so sorry to hear this, but good for you for doing what is best for you and your child!

I am not a single parent, but I have a few friends that have went through similar situations and I have to agree with sarabellam to get with a lawyer ASAP. I don't know how you and your ex are getting along but it's better to get it all taken care of and out of the way so you don't have to worry about it anymore!

Getting yourself in a happier situation will only make you a better parent, not worse.

amalama · June 2010

Oh, and as for the dresses, I imagine most your BM's won't want you to worry about it. I would offer if I were you still but don't worry too much about it.

btrflykate1230 · June 2010

Squirrly-- I sent you a request!

Thanks again everyone. I know I have a long tough road ahead of me.

Sarah-- Thanks for also suggesting getting legal counsel. I have a lawyer friend in NYC and will run some questions by her!

KerryAnn · June 2010

We haven't spoken before, but I am sorry to hear this all the same. My sister went through the same thing, except her fiance sort of just picked up and left without warning. Messed up no matter how it happens, and it's tough to get through.

What was suggested to us is, if the dresses have not yet been altered (aside from being cut and sewn by the designer company when they were ordered) sometimes the designer will take them back for a full refund. My sis went through Alfred Angelo for her maid's dresses, so we're going to pay the balance on them at the dress shop and try to return them to AA when they come in. Otherwise, we are going to eBay them or try this website : http://www.idonowidont.com

Good luck and take it a day at a time. I know (second-hand, which isn't the same) the feeling and how lost you can feel, but you will get through it with some time and patience with yourself.

lauralaur · June 2010

Hey I'm really, really late here, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear this and that I wish you the best of luck. When my mom married my dad, she didn't want to marry him. I think he talked her into it. It was fine for awhile, but she eventually realized that that was never what she had wanted and by that point it had been years and there were two kids involved. It took her a long time to get the strength to leave and well, to be happy. I give you a lot of credit for having that strength now, and for not having to dig down so deep to find it later on when it's almost too late. It hurts I'm sure, but know that you're doing the right thing now and that emotionally you are so much further along than so many other people in your position.

thesuninherhead · June 2010

Sorry to hear that, dear.

So, the wedding is off.

Re: So, the wedding is off.

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