What do men typically like to have a say in when planning?

MRSreadcomicbooks · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_what-do-men-typically-like-to-have-a-say-in-when-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:93c47174-d916-446c-8e7a-03cf81aeda54Post:aa0933e7-94aa-47b6-b712-c9d0e308198b">Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance has a pretty good say into things. But then again I made it clear I wanted his opinion on things. if it bothers you that he's not helping with making choices then tell him to help with some stuff. Since I talked to my fiance he has started looking up things on his own. Makes me feel like he cares a little bit.
Posted by leagri2813[/QUOTE]
I've told him I would really like his input as much as possible. It doesn't bother me, but I definitely want it to be an experience we can both take part in. He suggested that with certain things I want his opinion on, I should narrow it down to a few choices and we can go from there. I can certainly live with that.

MRSreadcomicbooks · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_what-do-men-typically-like-to-have-a-say-in-when-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:93c47174-d916-446c-8e7a-03cf81aeda54Post:0d4f20bd-e253-4a85-a1aa-d5d0ee84410e">Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning?</a>:
[QUOTE]Is it possible that he's thinking that the wedding isn't until Sept, 2014 so he doesn't need to be involved so much so soon? He might not realize that you want to make final decisions on things this far in advance.
Posted by Karmasmom[/QUOTE]
Haha this was my first thought!<div>I made the mistake of telling him when we first got engaged that weddings take "about a year" to plan (my exact words). I should have said, when he asked how long they take, "they take about a year, but I would rather start sooner so we don't get overwhelmed." He definitely has that one year number stuck in his head now!</div>

Sassenach1743 · January 2013

My FI is most interested and most involved in; the venue, the photographer, the band and purchasing his suit. He also gave input, when asked, on invitation stationary, linens, and up lighting. We tasted the food together and combined our preferences to create our menu.

Really the flowers are the only big item that I've decided on myself. I chose the flowers and colors and am having a sample centerpiece made. He's seen reference pictures but says I can have whatever flowers I want.

HobokensFury · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_what-do-men-typically-like-to-have-a-say-in-when-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:93c47174-d916-446c-8e7a-03cf81aeda54Post:9caaa84d-e1ac-442c-bc6a-c8a6515e754c">Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning? : Um because the majority of the people here gave snarky/smart ass answers, that's why. Pretty sad if you just sit on here and attack people all day who are simply asking questions...
Posted by MRSreadcomicbooks[/QUOTE]

Please proceed with caution. You're not making any friends here with your attitude and are bordering on personal attacks.

MRSreadcomicbooks · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_what-do-men-typically-like-to-have-a-say-in-when-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:93c47174-d916-446c-8e7a-03cf81aeda54Post:227fbe48-d0bb-41fe-b110-80a2479e7d7b">Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning? : Your first impulse is right - wedding planning doesn't need to start until about a year out. Maybe, just maybe, you can be looking for a venue at this point? And I suppose if there's an in demand vendor you really want, then you should book them now. Other than that, slow your roll until 8 months from now and ask him what he's interested in.
Posted by kwitherington[/QUOTE]
I don't want to be planning everything one after the other in the 12 months leading up to the wedding, which is why I want to start now. I get easily stressed out and just want to give up on things when they get overwhelming. I don't plan on booking anything right now, but I do want to make some decisions so we know what we're looking for later. Mainly what I want right now is to narrow down some venues and come up with an initial guest list.

MRSreadcomicbooks · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_what-do-men-typically-like-to-have-a-say-in-when-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:93c47174-d916-446c-8e7a-03cf81aeda54Post:5cc9c4eb-24a2-406b-945e-45919f20dea3">Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning?</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI sounds like yours a little....I thought he would be more involved. I mean, he is, but he really defers to me for decisions. I've been sure though to include him on meetings with DOC, photographer, venues, etc. to make sure he's in the know and happy with the decisions. He went to wedding show with me too and has been doing more than most guys, but not really making the decisions. I just chalk it up to him being easy-going, but still interested. It reflects our personalities I bit though...I'm more type A and he's more laid back in general so it doesn't concern me.
Posted by xt5678[/QUOTE]
I know exactly how wedding planning is going to go if my fiance wants me to make all the choices - nothing will get planned! Haha our savings is under his control right now, so I'm gonna need his input so he can pay the deposits and stuff! I just realized that... plus, like I mentioned before, I'm really not that good at making decisions. :(

Chrissy241987 · January 2013

So far for me, he wants a say in pretty much nothing.

ftrmrsw · January 2013

My FI doesn't care to do the research but he wants to help with the final decision. It seems to be the case with most thing except flowers. I think that's the only thing I have full pull on.

Other than that

I picked two seasons - he chose the season

I picked 2 dates - He picked the date

I picked 2 colour schemes - He picked the final decision

I researched Venues, he visited them and helped deside.

I left the DJ up to him... He took too long, so I got the ball rolling and we together met with and picked the one we thought was best.

I ordered invitation/paper samples - he picked his preference.

My Fi has pretty much been involved in EVERY wedding detail at least to give his opinion.

GoodLuckBear14 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_what-do-men-typically-like-to-have-a-say-in-when-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:93c47174-d916-446c-8e7a-03cf81aeda54Post:8a0234ea-d2e8-4922-b743-feda90f9177f">Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning? : I know exactly how wedding planning is going to go if my fiance wants me to make all the choices - nothing will get planned! <strong>Haha our savings is under his control right now, so I'm gonna need his input so he can pay the deposits and stuff!</strong> I just realized that... plus, like I mentioned before, I'm really not that good at making decisions. :(
Posted by MRSreadcomicbooks[/QUOTE]

Wait. Your joint savings is under his name only??

MRSreadcomicbooks · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_what-do-men-typically-like-to-have-a-say-in-when-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:93c47174-d916-446c-8e7a-03cf81aeda54Post:73f6e9ea-7c5b-4b82-8bbb-75019dba7c70">Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning? : It won't. You book your venue now, set a budget, and get a very preliminary guestlist together to decide what type of wedding you are having. Around September, you revisit the guestlist and budget and start looking at photogs, florists, etc. You also start shopping for your wedding dress around then. Once that's done, you have SIX OR SEVEN MONTHS of nothing to do until you get close enough to start dealing with tastings and WP outfits and whatnot. It's really not 12 solid months of things to do at all.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Haha that's exactly what I said to him! We get some things out of the way now and then we have time to spread the rest out!

MRSreadcomicbooks · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_what-do-men-typically-like-to-have-a-say-in-when-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:93c47174-d916-446c-8e7a-03cf81aeda54Post:e0a36b93-464b-4706-9130-4a13deb1be37">Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning? : Wait. Your joint savings is under his name only??
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]
Noooo no. It's not a joint savings account. It's his savings account. I don't have one and my bank fees for a savings account are so ridiculous that I might as well put my savings into his. This is not like a man having complete control of the money. I have my own money, just the savings goes into his account. I trust him completely with it and I know that when I give him something to put IN SAVINGS, that's where it goes.

Maggie0829 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_what-do-men-typically-like-to-have-a-say-in-when-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:93c47174-d916-446c-8e7a-03cf81aeda54Post:93b5fb0d-44e3-4000-906f-ea7ecd128986">Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning? : Noooo no. It's not a joint savings account. It's his savings account. I don't have one and my bank fees for a savings account are so ridiculous that I might as well put my savings into his. This is not like a man having complete control of the money. I have my own money, just the savings goes into his account. I trust him completely with it and I know that when I give him something to put IN SAVINGS, that's where it goes.
Posted by MRSreadcomicbooks[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I would suggest getting a savings account that has both of your names on it ASAP.

OwningAHome1981 · January 2013

The cake and the booze. Men are pretty simple.

OwningAHome1981 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_what-do-men-typically-like-to-have-a-say-in-when-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:93c47174-d916-446c-8e7a-03cf81aeda54Post:194fd2fa-ed82-48d4-b109-7dc2ac8f5a68">Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning?</a>:
[QUOTE]So far for me, he wants a say in pretty much nothing.
Posted by Chrissy241987[/QUOTE]

hahah yup.... my fiance just said "tell me when I have to show up" lol.

MRSreadcomicbooks · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_what-do-men-typically-like-to-have-a-say-in-when-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:93c47174-d916-446c-8e7a-03cf81aeda54Post:37fad703-3c48-4a41-977d-e2bec96d3ac7">Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do men typically like to have a say in when planning? : So why hasn't your name been added to it? That sounds like it would solve several issues with your wedding planning, and just be smarter in general.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Because it's his bank account. We don't have a joint account because we don't need one. I'm not going to expect him to give me access to his money, and then keep mine to myself. I trust him entirely to have the savings in his control.

What do men typically like to have a say in when planning?

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