A Visit from June 2008

trickeytricky · March 2013

Hello from the girls of June 2008!

Every year we make a point to come pay a visit to the June brides about to get married and spread our wedding cheer and best wishes. While we are fast approaching our FIVE YEAR anniversaries, you all are about to walk down the isles.

When I first joined the Knot I had no intentions of making life long friends, but I have. You ladies have the wonderful opportunity of making friends who will understand exactly where you are at in life. Together you can go through marriage, infertility, babies, mortgages, droughts and hopefully not, but even divorce.

On your wedding day, we wish that everything works out as planned. But it won't. We know. Just laugh, because at the end of the day it's not about a melting cake, or an officiant that calls you the wrong name, it's about the man (or woman) standing beside you that you plan to spend the rest of your life with.

Like I said, we always come over and take over a post around this time when you are in the psychotic part of preparing to say HI. A little about us: There are 69 of us who all still talk on a message board (all though not powered by The Knot/Nest anymore). We now have more babies among us than members, including three sets of twins. Together we've been through a few weddings, in-laws, births, infertility, mortgages, and divorce. 21 of us just came back from a girls weekend GTG in Chicago. And we know more about each other than we care to ... down to the way we walk to the bathroom after sex (it's an art apparently.)

So, I'll be around today, to spread their advice as they post it for you on our board. And if you have any questions for us, we don't bite. Please chat.

Entertain us old married crows.

Much love and hugs,

Trickey
June 2008

(Call me their leader, or the obnoxious one who posts too much).

NicoleMarcelle · March 2013

Awww! Thank you!!!

I look forward to reading you advice!

trickeytricky · March 2013

Okay, so since I haven't been on The Knot in years (clearly) I thought it ate my post so I had to retype a new post .... if you see double it's legit, and I apologize for my annoynace. LOL!

trickeytricky · March 2013

"There is no perfect time for anything--don't wait until you feel you have done enough or have enough to start living--take things as they come and deal with them together on your own timetable!" - Amy, married w/ one daughter

sssdee · March 2013

Hey Trickey!

Thanks for popping in! You are most welcome to do so!

That's awesome that you guys have an amazing bond together! Hopefully then June '13 ladies will have one as well!

I'll bite with the first Qs -

1) In hindsight, what is the one thing you could've lived without for the wedding?

2) What was your best splurge?

3) What do people rememeber the most about your wedding?

trickeytricky · March 2013

"It's not only okay to fight, but sometimes it's a good thing too. Be sure to communicate with one another and to be as open and honest as possible. " - Melissa, married w/ two daughters

trickeytricky · March 2013

"1) In hindsight, what is the one thing you could've lived without for the wedding? favors

2) What was your best splurge? photographer for sure--those pictures are still looked at almost daily--best money we spent

3) What do people rememeber the most about your wedding? a good time, we were on the dance floor the whole time so most of our guests were too enjoying themselves and having fun."

- Amy

trickeytricky · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_a-visit-from-june-2008?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:57fde61e-ee6d-4595-a1d3-e1961818b7c0Post:9e747d44-aa53-46ec-b2b2-436c36ef1791">Re: A Visit from June 2008</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey Trickey! Thanks for popping in! You are most welcome to do so! That's awesome that you guys have an amazing bond together! Hopefully then June '13 ladies will have one as well! I'll bite with the first Qs - 1) In hindsight, what is the one thing you could've lived without for the wedding? 2) What was your best splurge? 3) What do people rememeber the most about your wedding?
Posted by sssdee[/QUOTE]

1. The stupid extras that you HAVE to have, nice flowers, nice centerpieces, favors, seating charts, blah blah blah blah.

2. PHOTOGRAPHS. I think we will all unanimously agree that you should not skimp on the PHOTOGRAPHS!

3. For me it was location, we got married on the field and Great American Ball Park (Cincinnati Reds) ... then the food. People like to talk about food. :)

- Amanda (aka Trickey), married w/ a son

emilyb213 · March 2013

Hi Trickey!! Thanks for taking time to come hang out with us today.

I've got some questions:

We've all heard the standard "enjoy the day, it goes so fast, blah blah blah" advice for the day of the wedding...any other pearls of wisdom regarding the wedding day itself?

Pre wedding jitters: What did you do to keep yourself chilled out the day before/day of the wedding?

What changed after you girls got married? I'm especially curious to hear from anyone who lived together/owned a house together/combined finaces pre-wedding.

APherber418 · March 2013

Thanks for the words of wisdom!! It is nice to get thoughts from great ladies who picked a wonderful month like June. Congrats to you all on your up coming anniversaries!!

trickeytricky · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_a-visit-from-june-2008?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:57fde61e-ee6d-4595-a1d3-e1961818b7c0Post:0243a6f6-9ef0-4c98-8915-d8ffd48c3c5d">Re: A Visit from June 2008</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi Trickey!! Thanks for taking time to come hang out with us today. I've got some questions: We've all heard the standard "enjoy the day, it goes so fast, blah blah blah" advice for the day of the wedding...any other pearls of wisdom regarding the wedding day itself? Pre wedding jitters: What did you do to keep yourself chilled out the day before/day of the wedding? What changed after you girls got married? I'm especially curious to hear from anyone who lived together/owned a house together/combined finaces pre-wedding.
Posted by emilyb213[/QUOTE]

1. Yes enjoy it, but be sure to take a moment to step away from the crowd with your HUSBAND and look at all the people who came to share your love. I think throughout the day you are pulled in so many directions that if you don't purposely go wonder off alone with him you will never get the chance. Spend the day together.

2. That's what your bridesmaids are foor. Alcohol.

3. My husband and I lived together for about a year before the wedding, we didn't completely join finances before hand though. Not much changed, things got a little uglier at first I think because the expectation that change would happen was there. A wedding will not change people, make sure you like him today the way you want him tomorrow.

- Trickey

trickeytricky · March 2013

"1) In hindsight, what is the one thing you could've lived without for the wedding? String trio for the ceremony & ****tail hour. It was pretty, but I honestly barely remember it and would've been just fine without it.

2) What was your best splurge? Photographer.

3) What do people rememeber the most about your wedding? Honestly, our ceremony. We worked really hard with our minister to personalize it with readings that had special meanings to us, and it was really nice and intimate and what people talked/talk about the most still. (Looking back now, I wish we'd had someone record it for us, even just with video on their camera). "

-Melissa

trickeytricky · March 2013

Pre wedding jitters: What did you do to keep yourself chilled out the day before/day of the wedding?

"I had a cut off day--The Weds before--anything that wasn't done by then didn't matter--that let me enjoy my family and friends as they arrived instead of drafting them into wedding stuff--it allowed all of us to have mini vacations."

-Amy

trickeytricky · March 2013

"We've all heard the standard "enjoy the day, it goes so fast, blah blah blah" advice for the day of the wedding...any other pearls of wisdom regarding the wedding day itself? Another standard, but to sneak away for a few minutes alone towards the end of the reception. I remember us standing outside away from the tent and just watching everyone and soaking it all in, and love that we had that moment together.

Pre wedding jitters: What did you do to keep yourself chilled out the day before/day of the wedding? Um I was a trainwreck, and was dry heaving in the shower the morning of my wedding, so I'm probably not the best one for advice, but being surrounded by my girlfriends and family for the rest of the day was a huge help.

What changed after you girls got married? For us, everything since we didn't live together before the wedding (Literally, while I was out getting my hair done for the wedding, Paul was busy moving all of his belongings into our apartment.) So it was a big change for us."

- Melissa

trickeytricky · March 2013

"1) In hindsight, what is the one thing you could've lived without for the wedding? Favors. We also didn't do a bouquet toss or any "special" dances, and I didn't miss it.

2) What was your best splurge? Photography is the most valuable, for sure (even though I'm still in a lawsuit with my photog!). After that, a great DJ. My friends love to dance and that made a huge difference in the party.

3) What do people rememeber the most about your wedding? We did what felt right for us, and we get comments all the time about it being so memorable/different/fun/touching. Our ceremony was really hand-crafted, and we did a last dance under the stars to candlelight, which was really special and we got a ton of feedback (our friend sang and played guitar for it). "

-Cassidy, married w/ son

lexi913 · March 2013

Awe, this is so sweet of you girls to swing by and give us advice, congrats on your upcoming anniversaries! I have a few questions

1. Although it's very late in the game, we are still back and forth on a videographer, thoughts?
2. What was the best (and worst) music you played?..oldies better than top 40? stay away from slow songs? etc

trickeytricky · March 2013

"1) In hindsight, what is the one thing you could've lived without for the wedding? favors

2) What was your best splurge? I wish I splurged on a better photographer.

3) What do people rememeber the most about your wedding? the food. People still talk about it. And a toast by my drunk Uncle."

- Heather, married TTC

trickeytricky · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_a-visit-from-june-2008?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:57fde61e-ee6d-4595-a1d3-e1961818b7c0Post:24bf368f-cdf7-429b-8c65-d3ad2111714e">Re: A Visit from June 2008</a>:
[QUOTE]Awe, this is so sweet of you girls to swing by and give us advice, congrats on your upcoming anniversaries! I have a few questions 1. Although it's very late in the game, we are still back and forth on a videographer, thoughts? 2. What was the best (and worst) music you played?..oldies better than top 40? stay away from slow songs? etc
Posted by lexi913[/QUOTE]

<div>1. Didn't have one, don't regret it. Seriously when are you going to watch it? And don't say with your kids. I have a 3 year old son who I already know will be rolling his eyes if I ever made him sit down at watch it. A home film by a crazy Aunt is good enough.

2. You know your crowd better than anyone. Play what keeps them on the dance floor, whatever that may be.</div>

Meghannsix · March 2013

Thank you thank you thank you for stopping by! You have no idea how much this makes my day, since I have suddenly become a weepy, angry anti-wedding shell of my former self. It's nice to know there's light at the end of the tunnel!

trickeytricky · March 2013

My marriage advice ....

He will piss you off to the ends of this Earth, but at the end of the day you have to be a united front. Together you make decisions, not apart. Especially when you have kids, you have to back each other up. You can disagree, I'm not saying you can't, because you will. Just keep the communication open and listen to each other before deciding.

Sex. It sucks sometimes, but just do it, you'll both be happier when it's over.

KIds: His parenting style will be different than yours but he's giving your child love, and a different way of seeing things which means he's a perfect dad, let him be.

CnSinLOVE · March 2013

Aww this is so great!!! It's so awesome to hear that this has created such a lasting bond between you ladies! And I must admit I'm a little jealous of the closeness of the June 2013 ladies! I found the discussion boards pretty late in the game : I can't wait to sit down tonight with a glass of wine and read all the wonderful things you ladies have said today!! Have a great day ladies and thanks so much for everything!!!

trickeytricky · March 2013

"1) In hindsight, what is the one thing you could've lived without for the wedding? Realistically? Most of it. We had tried really hard from the get go to not go totally over the top, but all we needed was a small intimate ceremony and quiet party. Not what we had, and I loved our wedding, but I could live happily married without 90% of it.

2) What was your best splurge? Photographer

3) What do people remember the most about your wedding? We heard a lot of positive responses about our music/DJ. We tried really hard to not have pop music, but rather classic hits that everyone would enjoy, mixed with shag and swing music so people could dance. Almost everyone spent the whole night dancing and we got a lot of comments about that.""

Llora, married w/ daughter

trickeytricky · March 2013

"I have a question... I'm getting married June 1, so we're at about two and a half months out at this point. What was the most stressful part of the process at this stage — we're getting so close, but it's still so far away — and how did you handle the potential descent into crazy town? That's a little confusing, so I guess I should say... We've talked about ways to de-stress the day before / day of, how did you handle the final countdown planning stressors? If you put your time into hiring the right professionals then just let go and let them do their jobs. Don't direct every small detail about flowers/cake etc. These people make their living doing this stuff, let them dazzle you with their talents."

-LLora

trickeytricky · March 2013

"

Trickey wrote:
1. Although it's very late in the game, we are still back and forth on a videographer, thoughts?
2. What was the best (and worst) music you played?..oldies better than top 40? stay away from slow songs? etc
1. I wish we had sometimes but we have pictures so...
2. WE had the RSVPs include a song request and we built our plays lists from that--we had such a wide variety and people loved hearing "their song"

-Amy

trickeytricky · March 2013

One of us didn't want her advice shared, and all I'm going to say about that is ...

They'll surprise you, (and your entire group of board friends), and you'll wonder who you married sometimes. The choice is yours and his, it is a team effort to make it work. As long as YOU try you've done the best you can.

trickeytricky · March 2013

"Trickey wrote:
1. Although it's very late in the game, we are still back and forth on a videographer, thoughts?
2. What was the best (and worst) music you played?..oldies better than top 40? stay away from slow songs? etc

1. Do it. THe only way I know what really happened was to play it back when we got back from our honeymoon. I've pulled it out a few times over the years and when we have gone through a rough patch, its nice to watch and think about that about all the hope, love and happiness that were shared. s

I did not pay a lot of money though, its not fancy and its not heavily edited. I say make sure you get someone to record, but don't break the bank.

2. Depends on your crowd. A good band or DJ will help this. IF not think about what you want and how it will go over. I played mostly R&B and oldies with your standard cupid shuffle/electric slide/chacha slide added in. Slow songs are good, but we kept it mostly upbeat."

- Alicia, married w/ stepson

trickeytricky · March 2013

"If you have doubts, DO NOT let anyone tell you 'its just cold feet' and you will be fine. Sometimes it really isn't right!"

-Anon, divorce w/ new lover

trickeytricky · March 2013

"1) In hindsight, what is the one thing you could've lived without for the wedding?
Favors. I really wish this tradition would go away! There are so many better ways to spend money. I know how much thought and love goes into the collection of matches, candles, wine openers, playing cards, candy, magnets etc. But at the end of the day, it gets tossed or stuffed in a drawer. If you are going to do this, I think edible is the way to go.

2) What was your best splurge?
The photographer. Go with someone who knows what they are doing.
I kind of regret spending as much money as I did on the dress. Find one you are comfortable dancing in and you feel good in. But I wore it once and it is in a box now. So sad!

3) What do people remember the most about your wedding?
The DJ/dancing. Our dance floor was packed the entire wedding and they actually had to kick us out at the end.
The food. 5 years later everyone still tells me it was the best wedding food they had ever had."

-Emily, married w/ daughter

trickeytricky · March 2013

MrsMillerJune2008 wrote:
I have a question... I'm getting married June 1, so we're at about two and a half months out at this point. What was the most stressful part of the process at this stage — we're getting so close, but it's still so far away — and how did you handle the potential descent into crazy town? That's a little confusing, so I guess I should say... We've talked about ways to de-stress the day before / day of, how did you handle the final countdown planning stressors? If you put your time into hiring the right professionals then just let go and let them do their jobs. Don't direct every small detail about flowers/cake etc. These people make their living doing this stuff, let them dazzle you with their talents.

"Very well said! You are paying all this money for their expertice. Tell them what you like and let them do the rest. The only person I did this with was the DJ and he did the best job! I could have saved myself a lot of stress."

-Emily

trickeytricky · March 2013

"Stay close with your friends and family. You're still going to be you outside of your new married coupleness. One day, if things get rough, (Hopefully not!) you will have loved ones to support you. If not, you still get the bonus of having extra people love you. Good stuff all around."

Tiffany, divorced w/ 2 kids

MrsAllieH · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_a-visit-from-june-2008?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:57fde61e-ee6d-4595-a1d3-e1961818b7c0Post:f385a9f7-e658-428a-bf4e-73aec943839f">Re: A Visit from June 2008</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: A Visit from June 2008 : 1. Didn't have one, don't regret it. Seriously when are you going to watch it? And don't say with your kids. I have a 3 year old son who I already know will be rolling his eyes if I ever made him sit down at watch it. A home film by a crazy Aunt is good enough. 2. You know your crowd better than anyone. Play what keeps them on the dance floor, whatever that may be.
Posted by trickeytricky[/QUOTE]

<div>1. I disagree, actually. I didn't have a videographer, and I wish I could go back and re-watch parts of the day. Speeches, for example. In the moment I thought "I am soaking this all in, I am going to remember this forever" and now, I couldn't tell you one word of any of the speeches. And I'd love to re-watch our vows, too.</div><div>
</div><div>2. My other advice here is to let your DJ know it's ok to not complete a song. My dance floor was packed all night except at one point, the DJ put on a song that no one knew, and everyone decided it'd be a good time to grab a drink or another piece of cake. The dance floor absolutely cleared. About 30 seconds later, the DJ just subtly faded out that song and started a new one, and everyone started dancing again. Other than that, we had a good mix of modern stuff, and stuff from our parent's era. They are good resources!</div>

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