Good morning ladies! I've lurked on here for a while and I've posted once, the advice I got then was very helpful so I figured I'd give it another shot since the ring topic has been coming up so much on here lately.
BF and I had the timeline talk that was suggested in my last post. He wants to be engaged by April. He said the ring aspect of proposing is what stressed him out the most, so we agreed that I would go and look for specific pieces that I liked and he could pick from what I found. I asked for a budget and he wouldn't give me one. He said he just wanted me to pick what I liked and he asked that I go sooner rather than later.
I knew that spelled trouble, it's not like he's a Rockefeller or anything and I know he doesn't have a ton of extra money (he works in mortgages and on commission). So when I went and I was looking for settings that were less expensive, around $1000.00 or less. Low and behold I fell in love with this:
http://www.tacori.com/Engagement-Rings/2639RDP65
It's way more expensive than I'd want him to pay. It's about $2600 for the setting. I've asked him if he'd be ok with something other than a diamond because I was. No go, it has to be a diamond, so now we're looking at something close to $5000.
So now, I'm wracked with guilt. I love this ring. When I put it on I got this feeling like, this is it. However, I cannot for the life of me justify him paying that much for a ring.
He asked me about how shopping went last night and I gave him all the information I had on every ring I liked, including much less expensive ones. But then he asked me which one was my favorite. I would be happy with anything he gave me, because it'd be from him, and it's that next step that we both want. He's the kind of guy who will do anything he can to make me happy though. I don't want that to include going into debt for a ring. He's also the king of person where once he's made up his mind there's no stopping him.
I've made it clear to him that I don't need that ring to be happy, but that's the one he kept going back to over and over again after he asked if it was my favorite. He wants to take me to go look at it in person.
I did ask him if he'd let me help him pay for it, because I feel like it's something for us, not just me. He said he'd think about it, but I know he's traditional and probably will pretend like I never said anything.
So, (after all of that) my question is, did any of you feel guilty? How should I deal with this situation (how did you deal with this if you were there)?