So my friend got married....

emilyinchile · October 2010

Stina, I disagree with you on the DJ issue. I've had fun at weddings with bands, I think bands are seen as nicer/fancier, and we could have afforded one. But for us, our friends and the kind of party we wanted to have, we preferred dancing to the original version of Lady Gaga or Michael Jackson or whatever than to a cover or a different style of music more appropriate for a band.

I really think it's just two different options depending on the type of music you like, it's not just that DJs are the cheaper or worse option.

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

As far as what I judge, I judge if the food is bad. Especially if I have an idea of how much they paid for it. SBIL paid $100/plate for the flat-out worst food I've ever eaten. Not a single item on the buffet was edible, it was all overcooked or oversalted or a bizarre combination of flavors that just didn't work. Judgy judgy judge judge. Show a little consumer savvy and shop around, for chrissakes.

emilyinchile · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_friend-got-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cfe05897-8e65-4a30-ac49-2421c1e75c6fPost:e6066356-1ee3-4fb4-91a2-f52b8114c966">Re: So my friend got married....</a>:
[QUOTE]As far as what I judge,<strong> I judge if the food is bad. Especially if I have an idea of how much they paid for it.</strong> SBIL paid $100/plate for the flat-out worst food I've ever eaten. Not a single item on the buffet was edible, it was all overcooked or oversalted or a bizarre combination of flavors that just didn't work. Judgy judgy judge judge. Show a little consumer savvy and shop around, for chrissakes.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

Ohhhh yeah. I actually judge many elements of a friend's wedding because they were all mediocre and crazy expensive. That to me means you either have bad taste or got lured in by the fact that it was expensive so it would be good, both of which I judge in general.

lalap69 · October 2010

Agreeing on the bad food.

Thought of another one - I judge when a bride spends like $10k on her dress. I just can't wrap my head around it.

jaimed99 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_friend-got-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cfe05897-8e65-4a30-ac49-2421c1e75c6fPost:b002d12a-ae4b-44bc-b381-9a8351efca38">Re: So my friend got married....</a>:
[QUOTE]I am jumping on the "food is bad, I judge" boat. There's nothing worse than when you are hungry and they put dry chicken in front of you.
Posted by stina93446[/QUOTE]

<div>That's when I ask for ketchup...hahahaha</div><div>
</div><div>I'm on the bad food wagon as well. If you're going to pay an arm and a leg to feed guests, make sure it's edible. I am fortunate to have not yet attended a wedding with bad food, and hopefully that will continue :) I will say, however, that the drinks at my cousin's wedding were weak, and that sort of sucked, but that's minor IMO...</div>

stina93446 · October 2010

I don't like it when they have passed apps and you're holding onto your trash and trying to mingle. The last party I went to had passed apps and they had a second server behind the apps with a "trash" tray. Best idea ever!

artbyallie · October 2010

I judge wedding parties that hold their bouquets up in front of their boobs. It looks so dorky.

I judge brides that pick horrific eye-wrenching colors for bridesmaids (I've seen far too many orange and fuchsia wedding pictures)

I judge weddings where money has been spent just for the sake of spending money (ugh Platinum Weddings)

tldh · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_friend-got-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:cfe05897-8e65-4a30-ac49-2421c1e75c6fPost:6fed29b7-049f-4d4d-b932-914306eee461">Re: So my friend got married....</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I judge wedding parties that hold their bouquets up in front of their boobs. It looks so dorky</strong>. I judge brides that pick horrific eye-wrenching colors for bridesmaids (I've seen far too many orange and fuchsia wedding pictures) I judge weddings where money has been spent just for the sake of spending money (ugh Platinum Weddings)
Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]

Whenever I see that on Four Wedding, I point and yell "flowers boobs" to DH.

I judge an endless string of toasts and toasts that never seem to end. I've only ever seen one brilliant toast and that was a FOB toast:

"Boys are easy. You feed them, you dress them and they pretty much take care of themselves. Girls will not only tell you what they want to eat but how to make it. And clothes, oh God the clothes...and she won't wear any of them unless you tell her that she looks beautiful.

But it's okay because you know you are the number one man in her life. Until another number one man comes along. Even then, you're okay, because you see how happy she is. So please raise your glass to my daughter and the new number one man in her life, my new son in law."

lalap69 · October 2010

Tricia, that toast is so sweet. I love it!

pretzelgrrl · October 2010

It's kind of funny how things are different depending on where you live and friends and such. I don't think it's the norm around here to change in between ceremony and recpetion...also I'm not saying eveyone in the Boston area has cash bars but all of the weddings I have been to except one has open bar cocktail hour and then cash bar (the one had open bar all night and money was no problem on that one).
I think the thing I judge is bad food and ugly bridemaid dresses. I am trying really hard to have good food and hopefully cute bridemaid dresses

(but sorry artbyallie they are fuschia and flowers are orange and fuschia becuase I love love orange and I think all the fuschia and orange are pictures are awesome since I always liked fuschia and orange and I am very happy that it is the new color combo!)

andamu · October 2010

I judge no thank-you notes (I know, technically not during the wedding ceremony/reception). Etiquette aside - and I consider the etiquette pretty important - I want to at least know that you got my gift.

mysticl · October 2010

I guess I judge pants because everytime I've seen a woman wear pants to a wedding she was not wearing something that would be considered dressy but instead what you would wear to an office that was buisness causual. The formal outfits that some of you have described probably wouldn't cause me to bat an eye. And like I said I wear maybe one skirt or dress a year so over all I'm perfectly fine with women wearing pants, I was just always taught you dress up for a wedding. dnbeach as for the reason your dad wore jeans to that wedding I would never ever judge that one. Totally acceptable.

And no I wouldn't consider a jeans skirt to be acceptable over slacks because it is still jeans which I said I wouldn't consider acceptable (except in certain situations as noted above). I never understood office dress codes that allow jeans skirts but not jeans pants.

AdeleDazeem · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_friend-got-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cfe05897-8e65-4a30-ac49-2421c1e75c6fPost:d147db73-35e9-4197-b4ee-ca15b2024a84">Re: So my friend got married....</a>:
[QUOTE] Joy, I wonder what you would have made of my wedding. There basically were no decorations, lol. Would that be better or worse than tulle (which I also despise).
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Ha. I think over the top is far more egregious than not enough. I'm a minimalist when it comes to decorations.

EDIT: NO TULLE. Ever.

gottahavashorti · October 2010

[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So my friend got married.... : Ha. I think over the top is far more egregious than not enough. I'm a minimalist when it comes to decorations. EDIT: NO TULLE. Ever.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]
I have seen so many pictures of weddings, more locally than on TK, where I think the space would have looked much nicer had they skipped decorating rather than covering the place in tulle and Christmas lights. Especially potted bushes/trees. Christmas lights do not belong on potted indoor non-evergreen trees in June.

gottahavashorti · October 2010

Oh, and we skipped decorating entirely. Our venue had enough visual appeal without adding more to the mix.

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

We also pretty much skipped the decorating. We had floor to ceiling windows with a great view of the Strip, so the only decorations we added were tea lights and a few rose petals.

marinabreeze · October 2010

On the DJ vs. band debate. For me, I think that bands are nicer than DJs. But I will more likely to dance if it's a DJ because most of the bands I've seen at weddings (like a German folk band, and Big Band) don't play songs I like to dance to. So my FI and I are going with a DJ.

I also judge cash bars. I'm bad at carrying cash, and it would be nice to know beforehand if I need cash, and the one time I went to a reception with a cash bar, I did not come prepared and one of my friends came to the rescue and bought me a drink. Even worse, it wasn't a reception that was shoestring budget either (in which case I would've been more forgiving lol). it was at a country club that was at least a half-hour from the ceremony site, where everything else was over-the-top, from the designer attire to the band to food, etc., But they couldn't front the cost of even basic beer and wine. *Judge*

I also judge wedding dresses. I judge if the cost is ridiculously high, especially if I'm aware there are other things going on (like my relative's bride who wore DIor, but the couple stole from relative's mom to front the cost of the wedding...long story).

But I also judge wedding dresses that are poorly put together. I believe that just because you are planning low-budget doesn't mean you have to look low-budget. I saw pictures of a wedding my friend attended, and the bride was wearing a two-piece wedding dress where the top was ivory and the bottom was white-white, and it was wrinkled. And not only that, in some pics and at some angles, the outline of her thong was visible under the dress. I think the bride's friends or whoever let her pick out that dress secretly must have hated her...

amanda7486 · October 2010

I judge people when they don't have enough tables or seats for every guest. I hate having a drink in one hand and my plate in the other. How am I supposed to eat if I have nowhere to put my stuff down? Even if there aren't enough seats for every guest, I think you should at least have tables where your guests can put their plates and cups down and not have to hold both in their hands.

JennaV26 · October 2010

I love receptions because I love to dance so I typically prefer DJs. I have only been to one wedding where I enjoyed the band so much that I was on the dance floor all night, but the again it was only me, DH and one other couple on the dance floor so that might say something.

I don't, however, like when people use iPods or CDs during the ceremony. I feel like the ceremony is the most traditional part of the wedding so I prefer when the couple hires a live performer (be it an organ player, a violinist, a string quartet, etc).

I judge gaps. Weddings with gaps are pretty rare around here but I'd feel like it was a waste of time, especially if I'm just hanging out in the hotel room with nothing to do.

I judge cash bars.

I judge brides whose hair looks like they are going to prom.

filaw · October 2010

I judge no assigned tables. Every time it's happened to me it always ends badly. People end up sitting alone, other tables end up overcrowded with the group that just keeps pulling extra chairs to it because they refuse to split up. And for the people sitting alone it feels hugely awkward. It seems to me, the couple, who knew everyone who was attending and who they knew and if they knew no one, who they might have something in common with, could take the trouble to spend the time to figure that out and allow everyone to have a much more pleasant dinner experience.

bablingbrooke · October 2010

We had unassigned tables and had no issues

We also needed a DJ because my DH is from overseas and it was just easier to get some canned Arabic music to mix in with the American stuff than try to find a band that could do both in our hometown (next to impossible). Cash bar was never a consideration.

I judge my friend who got married over the summer whose invitation included the cost of attending the BBQ two days before the wedding, the RD, and the day-after brunch (plus a passive-aggressive note saying that if we didn't come we must not like fun--I guess DH and I don't like fun because we didn't go). People! If you can't afford four days' worth of parties, you don't get them! I also judge her MOH for assigning me a gift to bring to the shower that I not only couldn't have attended (it was on the other side of the country!) but that I'd already RSVP'd no to. Also they've been married two months and we sent them a gift a month before the wedding and we have yet to receive any acknowledgement. Yeah, I judge her a lot.

schadbourne · October 2010

i judge you banana for being a yankees fan----goooo RED SOX

ok in all seriousness

i judge bad bridesmaid dresses (which is anything called a bridesmaid dress-in my opinion)

i judge the song butterfly kisses as the father daughter dance (sorry i highly dislike this song)

and i judge weddings becuase they are cheezey but i love them all the same

mrsjustinm2b · October 2010

i agree about the cash car definitely...how rude to invite your closest to a celebration and then expect them to open their wallet. Mom was mad when I told her that since she thought a cash bar would be a great way to save some money but no thank you lol
Ive never seen anyone change between the ceremony and reception but that's actually a pretty good idea for a church wedding

I hate gaps also...there was a four hour gap between ceremony and reception at a friends wedding and most of us were so famished that we all went out to eat and ruined our dinners. Wedding was at 4pm so we assumed reception would start around 6pm...nope WP came in at 8pm. Would have planned a little better had we known that would be the case. Nothing on the invite to indicate tho...

bablingbrooke · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_friend-got-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cfe05897-8e65-4a30-ac49-2421c1e75c6fPost:cf218597-bc03-487e-82f0-1f35a8649a37">Re: So my friend got married....</a>:
[QUOTE]I judge drunk brides / grooms - really? Let's try to keep it in check. I also judge un-assigned seating (the one time I attended a wedding with no assigned seats the cocktail hour was very awkward because people wouldn't leave their tables to mingle for fear of their seat being taken.) I'll also jump on the cash bar band wagon - because I never have cash. For the record - I'd never heard of anyone changing clothes between the wedding and the reception. We usually have a bit of a gap for the WP to take photos, but I've never thought to change in between.... I guess my cocktail dresses aren't as risque as some? because I've never felt uncomfortable in the church...
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]
Try <strong>not</strong> being drunk at your own wedding. It's actually really hard to do. You have very little food in your system and people will keep handing you drinks. I was a drunk bride, but I didn't exactly dance on a table or anything. Just really enjoyed our party :)

filaw · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_friend-got-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cfe05897-8e65-4a30-ac49-2421c1e75c6fPost:cf218597-bc03-487e-82f0-1f35a8649a37">Re: So my friend got married....</a>:
[QUOTE]I judge drunk brides / grooms - really? Let's try to keep it in check. I
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

<div>Seriously. I have a friend that ended up standing topless babbling and shouting in the hotel (public) bathroom at her wedding, because she was so drunk. She's so glassy eyed in all of her pictures too. I didn't want to touch the stuff at my wedding because I was so terrified of that. Also, I was so high on adrenaline all day long, the thought of alcohol sounding really unappealing.</div><div>
</div><div>I had another friend who's sister was literally under the table by the end of the night. Again with the just feeling really embarrassed. </div>

So my friend got married....

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