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not really sure please help!!

melissaanne07melissaanne07
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

When my husband and i got engaged in 2007 we set our weddindate for june 2009 when it started to get closer we realized that was a horrible time we were not going to be able to afford it but we didnt want to change the date of when we got married so we got married in the court house then has a little party  the following weekend told people not to bing gifts or anything cuzz we were going to have a rea lwedding and reception in 2 years when we could afford it but people brought gifts anyways.. so were not sure what to do is it rude to register and have a bridal shower and stuff when some people already got us wedding gifts??

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Re: not really sure please help!!

  • WildRumpusWildRumpus member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    What do you mean "real wedding" You got married at the courthouse. That was your wedding. There are quite a few women on this board that would be offended by that statement. What you're having now is a vow renewal.
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  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited June 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:46130272-b5f4-4928-901a-684dbd63706c">not really sure please help!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]When my husband and i got engaged in 2007 we set our weddindate for june 2009 when it started to get closer we realized that was a horrible time we were not going to be able to afford it but we didnt want to change the date of when we got married so we got married in the court house then has a little party  the following weekend told people not to bing gifts or anything cuzz we were going to have a rea lwedding and reception in 2 years when we could afford it but people brought gifts anyways.. so were not sure what to do is it rude to register and have a bridal shower and stuff when some people already got us wedding gifts??
    Posted by melissaanne07[/QUOTE]
    Yea, the day you signed that silly little paper? Yup, that was your real wedding day.
     Surprise!

    image
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  • WildRumpusWildRumpus member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    And to answer your question, no, you may not register or have a bridal shower. Those are for brides.
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  • melissaanne07melissaanne07
    First Comment
    ok i dont want to offend people my bestfriend got married in a courthouse and that was hre wedding thats how she wanted it and im fine with that.. but for me and my husband we do not consider that our real wedding and we do not consider this a vow renewal.. this is our wedding
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  • WildRumpusWildRumpus member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    Here ya go:

    http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-questions/bridal-registry-advice/qa/appropriate-for-a-vow-renewal.aspx
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  • WildRumpusWildRumpus member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    Good luck sweetie
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:46130272-b5f4-4928-901a-684dbd63706c">not really sure please help!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]When my husband and i got engaged in 2007 we set our weddindate for june 2009 when it started to get closer we realized that was a horrible time we were not going to be able to afford it but we didnt want to change the date of when we got married so we got married in the court house then has a little party  the following weekend told people not to bing gifts or anything cuzz we were going to have a rea lwedding and reception in 2 years when we could afford it but people brought gifts anyways.. so were not sure what to do is it rude to register and have a bridal shower and stuff when some people already got us wedding gifts??
    Posted by melissaanne07[/QUOTE]
    Bridal shower? Hun, you guys have been married for a year now... the SS Bridal Shower ship has passed.

    When you get married again to the same person without there being a divorce or annulment in between marriages, it's called a vow renewal.
    Honestly, if I was invited to a vow reneal ceremony and wedding reception only a year after the couple was married, I'd question it and not attend. It sounds way too gift grabby to me.
    image
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  • WildRumpusWildRumpus member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited June 2010

    mar·riage

    –noun
    the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of two people to live as a married couple, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage.

    Yup, pretty sure that's what you already did

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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Whether you consider it to be your real wedding or not, it is. Sorry. Did you sign a paper? Qualify for all the benefits of married couples? Get the proper paperwork to change your name and be added to his health insurance? Yep? Oh, you're married. Congrats! Have fun at your vow renewal, an event for which a  bridal shower os registry is not appropriate.
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  • melissaanne07melissaanne07
    First Comment

    wow rude much people i was asking an opinion not for people to not tell me im a bride and that i lready had my real wedding .. i am a bride and i am haveing my real wedding this cmoing up june iv always got helpful answers on here so thought id try again but apparently wrong idea

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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:4acf3c58-8ddc-4ab9-9ee1-bed3575d79c6">Re: not really sure please help!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]ok i dont want to offend people my bestfriend got married in a courthouse and that was hre wedding thats how she wanted it and im fine with that.. but for me and my husband <strong>we do not consider that our real wedding</strong> and we do not consider this a vow renewal.. this is our wedding
    Posted by melissaanne07[/QUOTE]
    If the document you signed was legal, then that wedding at the courthouse was as real as it gets.

    It wasn't a rehearsal. It wasn't fake. It wasn't a figment if your imagination or a very bad dream. It was <em>oh</em> so very real.
    image
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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:cbfccf9c-1f63-41d8-917a-286276b17160">Re: not really sure please help!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to not really sure please help!! : Bridal shower? Hun, you guys have been married for a year now... <strong>the SS Bridal Shower ship has passed</strong>. When you get married again to the same person without there being a divorce or annulment in between marriages, it's called a vow renewal. Honestly, if I was invited to a vow reneal ceremony and wedding reception only a year after the couple was married, I'd question it and not attend. It sounds way too gift grabby to me.
    Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

    I officially like you.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:1e582aaa-1c1f-4f5a-8ea2-fb4fe2cb5278">Re: not really sure please help!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]wow rude much people <strong>i was asking an opinion</strong> not for people to not tell me im a bride and that i lready had my real wedding .. i am a bride and i am haveing my real wedding this cmoing up june iv always got helpful answers on here so thought id try again but apparently wrong idea
    Posted by melissaanne07[/QUOTE]
    You got our opinion. Our opinion is that you are already married. Enjoy!
    image
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  • WildRumpusWildRumpus member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    You asked for an oppinion. I gave mine. You're married, you're having a vow renewal. Registering for gifts isn't appropriate.
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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:1e582aaa-1c1f-4f5a-8ea2-fb4fe2cb5278">Re: not really sure please help!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]wow rude much people i was asking an opinion not for people to not tell me im a bride and that i lready had my real wedding .. i am a bride and i am haveing my real wedding this cmoing up june iv always got helpful answers on here so thought id try again but apparently wrong idea
    Posted by melissaanne07[/QUOTE]

    Yet again, you had your real "wedding." The joining of two people in marriage is a wedding. What you want is to get what we call "weddinged." It pretty much goes over like a lead balloon, because you're already legally husband and wife, yet you want to have an awesome party and all the perks and pretend you're joining yourselves in holy matrimony for the first time.

    So, to correct you, you <strong>were</strong> a bride and you're have your real <strong>vow renewal</strong> this "cmoing" up june.
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  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:1e582aaa-1c1f-4f5a-8ea2-fb4fe2cb5278">Re: not really sure please help!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]wow rude much people i was asking an opinion not for people to not tell me im a bride and that i lready had my real wedding .. i am a bride and <strong>i am haveing my real wedding this cmoing up june</strong> iv always got helpful answers on here so thought id try again but apparently wrong idea
    Posted by melissaanne07[/QUOTE]
    No, you're not. You had your real wedding. Do you not get it? Do you not know what a "real wedding" is?

    image
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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker

    Go ahead, try to delete. You can only edit, and we've already quoted you.

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  • melissaanne07melissaanne07
    First Comment
    ok whatever girls thanx for ur opinions but i gess ill have to go with what my friends and family say and they all agree that i havent had my real weding yet and yes were legally married but no we havent done anything that u do when u get married like someone mentiond health insurance nope havent done that.name change nope havent done it. we were waiting to do evreythin till our REAL wedding
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  • mandybear7mandybear7
    1000 Comments
    Don't register and I doubt people will want to throw you a shower, since you are already married.

    I don't understand your delusion with this whole wedding thing. You're married. Just throw a party celebrating your marriage or renew your vows.
    7/10/10 imageDandy
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  • WildRumpusWildRumpus member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    If your friends and family agree with you, then why are you looking for validation from a bunch of strangers?
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  • mandybear7mandybear7
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:3b4feff1-0b35-457e-859c-41f32539419c">Re: not really sure please help!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]ok whatever girls thanx for ur opinions but i gess ill have to go with what my friends and family say and they all agree that i havent had my real weding yet and yes were legally married but no we havent done anything that u do when u get married like someone mentiond health insurance nope havent done that.name change nope havent done it. we were waiting to do evreythin till our REAL wedding
    Posted by melissaanne07[/QUOTE]

    Then why did you get married last June? I don't get it.
    7/10/10 imageDandy
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  • WildRumpusWildRumpus member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    And another question, just because I'm curious. Which anniversary will you be celebrating?
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  • melissaanne07melissaanne07
    First Comment

    i wasnt evn thinking about a shower till my bridesmaids mentioned it  so apparently people do want to throw me a shower and my mil and mother asked if we were havig one so apparently its not that farof a stretch

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  • SparrowSongSparrowSong member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its
    holy run on sentence. your writing makes me hyperventilate.

    Definitely no shower. Maybe a small registry because there are always some generous people who want to give gifts no matter what. But you need to seriously downplay that and let it be known gifts are not expected. It's pretty tacky for anyone who has been married for a long time to suddenly up and decide they need a big fat gimme-gimme-gimme list.
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  • hd7694hd7694
    1000 Comments
    There is not one response here that is being rude.  They are honest. The day you sign your marriage license is your real wedding day.  That was at the courthouse.  Now you just want a pretty princess day because your thuper thpethial!  (BTW-that was rude!) :)
    1st pic of us together. Apparently I thought something was funny.
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    image 232 Made the cut! image 96 Ready to party!
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  • melissaanne07melissaanne07
    First Comment
    edited June 2010
    june 2012 will be our one year anniversary we didnt celebrate an anniversary this year cuz like i said we dont count it
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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:3b4feff1-0b35-457e-859c-41f32539419c">Re: not really sure please help!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]ok whatever girls thanx for ur opinions but i gess ill have to go with what my friends and family say and they all agree that i havent had my real weding yet and yes were legally married but no we havent done anything that u do when u get married like someone mentiond health insurance nope havent done that.name change nope havent done it. we were waiting to do evreythin till our REAL wedding
    Posted by melissaanne07[/QUOTE]

    New drinking game: Shots everytime this girl says "real wedding."
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  • mandybear7mandybear7
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:7c0624b5-8f91-4f02-852d-cb4a87d89bb3">Re: not really sure please help!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]june 2012 will be our one year anniversary we didnt celebrate an anniversary this year cuz like i said we dont count it
    Posted by melissaanne07[/QUOTE]

    You do know that if you two decided to break up, you would need a divorce? I just don't get it- why would you have your anniversary for a party, rather than your actual wedding day?
    7/10/10 imageDandy
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  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:3b4feff1-0b35-457e-859c-41f32539419c">Re: not really sure please help!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]ok whatever girls thanx for ur opinions but i gess ill have to go with what my friends and family say and they all agree that i havent had my real weding yet and yes were legally married but no we havent done anything that u do when u get married like someone mentiond health insurance nope havent done that.name change nope havent done it. we were waiting to do evreythin till our REAL wedding
    Posted by melissaanne07[/QUOTE]
    you're delusional. and you can't spell.

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  • nda_roxybabenda_roxybabe member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Brooke- I'm in.

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