Slight FBIL/MOH Issue (became long)

tairairat · May 2010

So, one of my FBILs is dating my MOH, who is also my sister. Yesterday morning he calls me and asks, hey, is your sister still interested in being in a relationship? She seems really easily irritated and her temper is really short lately. (Note: FBIL is also a GM)

Now, granted, MOH did just graduate college and I think it's only now really hitting her that guess what, you'll have to find a job and pay your own bills. So I think she may just be really stressed.

So what the heck does this mean? Does he want to break up with her and he's looking for a reason? Or is he just worried that she's going to leave him because she's not interested in him anymore?

I do just want to say that FBIL is a great guy, but he's very shy and has a hard time getting out of relationships he no longer wants to be in because he feels guilty and doesn't want to hurt the other person's feelings. So if he does break up with MOH, I won't be holding it against him. (I've been with FI for 7 years and know his family very well. I love them, they're so awesome.)

If they do break up, what do I do? My sister will expect me to support her, which I will want to do, but I just can't be mad at FBIL. The only thing I can think of is to just stay the heck out of it. And make sure they're never at our house at the same time ever again.

I'm worried about being caught in the middle because when they've had arguments before, and my sister has told our mom, I'm the one my mom calls expecting me to speak to FBIL to smooth things over for them. I've flat out told my mom I'm not getting involved when she's done that, but if my sister comes crying to me, how could I refuse to be her shoulder to cry on? She's my sister, I can't do that to her.

And why did he have to ask me? Couldn't he have left me in ignorant bliss that all is well in their world? I'd be banging my head against a wall if it wouldn't damage my brain cells.

To anyone who reads this: Thanks for listening.

Albireo · May 2010

You should tell him to leave you out of it. :P He's a grownup, he needs to grow a spine and do what he needs to do.

tairairat · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_slight-fbilmoh-issue-became-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:9ccad41a-7fea-4e2e-b18e-c4b399b49dd5Post:97c43b74-d4e7-4a9b-838d-55b84506c700">Re: Slight FBIL/MOH Issue (became long)</a>:
[QUOTE]You should tell him to leave you out of it. :P He's a grownup, he needs to grow a spine and do what he needs to do.
Posted by Albireo[/QUOTE]

<div>That sounds like a good plan.</div>

quotequeen · May 2010

I've flat out told my mom I'm not getting involved when she's done that, but if my sister comes crying to me, how could I refuse to be her shoulder to cry on? She's my sister, I can't do that to her.

You can give her a shoulder to cry on without getting involved. Listen to what she says and comfort her, but if she asks you to say anything to FBIL just tell her you're sorry but you can't get in the middle of it. Tell the same thing to FBIL - you cannot answer for your sister whether she wants to be in a relationship. He has to talk to her.

trix1223 · May 2010

Tell him that you're not in 6th grade anymore, and you won't be passing your sister a note asking "do you still like him?"

If he has an issue with her, HE needs to
#1) Grow a backbone
#2) Use it.

Kristin&eric · May 2010

I agree stay out of it, if they keep talking to you about it just say I am sorry but this is not my business and ya'll should talk to eachother

NicciSal91 · May 2010

i agree with PP"s. tell him your trying to plan a wedding and that he will have to ask her himself. if i thought my FI might not be into me anymore id ask him, not his brother or sister.

Slight FBIL/MOH Issue (became long)

Re: Slight FBIL/MOH Issue (became long)

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