Wedding Woes

Ready To Quit Wedding

I have had every set back known to man with this wedding. I don't even know what to do anymore. I have no one to help me plan it. I am losing my job this week and fiance lost his a couple of weeks ago. We had nothing saved up, because of other set backs.

I have so many outside issues and then when I try to plan the wedding, I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall. I want to find a venue where I can bring my own caterer, even the park district requires you choose from their preferred list. I can't even get some save the date cards picked out because every time I try to get my fiance to look at some, he's too busy, or too tired. He tells me to just choose what I want, and then I'll pick something and he doesn't like it.

My MOH can't make up her mind if we're friends or not. My FMIL can't stand me, and doesn't even realize how much she doesn't like me and how much it shows.

My fiance and I moved in with my parents to help them out, and as soon as we lose our jobs, we have to be on tip toe, we have to figure something out, we have to mind our ps & qs. if we can't contribute part of the electric bill this month, which we have never missed and have always paid in full prior, my mom said she has no problems turning off the lights over our reptiles, who need the light to survive. Nevermind that her and my dad constantly have the tv, the stereo system, and the computer going, simultaneously, all day and well into the night, AND she leaves the lights down in the basement on, ALL the time, because HER favorite cat is afraid of the dark.

I'm so tired and stressed out and I don't know when I'm going to catch a break. I'm too exhausted to even worry about my grammar and my sentence structure, and I am a BEAST about that stuff.

I try to talk to my fiance and he just shrugs and says he doesn't know. i try to talk to my friends and they shrug it off. I don't know how I'm supposed to plan a wedding like this,
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Re: Ready To Quit Wedding

  • MeganJune11MeganJune11 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
       Well first off you are getting the common fiance "man" treatment. Trust me, my fiance has done the "Just pick whatever you want" then when you pick it, he doesn't like it. My opinion is,  he shoudld have helped you in the first place! (But since he doesn't have a job, how is he "too tired"? Unless you were saying before he lost his job.
       Second, I'm so sorry that you both lost you jobs! I think you have to realize that maybe your fiance is just as frustrated as you are with money. But he just isn't talking to you about it.
    Third, I guess I'm truley the only one who doesn't have a bitch for a mother-in-law I have been seeing a lot of FMIL that are not the nicest. Basically you need to make it known (not really in words) that you are here to stay!
       Fourth, Moving in with parents seems to put a strain on your finace and yourself. And having the threats doesn't help. I have lived with my finace and parents before and the trick is to not concern yourself with what your parent's do because it will just drive you up the wall and they most likely will not change.
       Fifth, I have been where you are! No one helping you and no one understanding where you are coming from. I think too much is happening for you at the moment and maybe you should either elope with close friends and family or just have a very small wedding liek 50 or 75 guests. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
       You and finance need to have a serious talk because it seems he is avoiding everything and you are suffering because of it! If you can't what you need from him now, I don't know what you will get from him in the future...He shouldn't be shrugging off your problems like some dust bunny. You are his future partner and he should treat you as such!

    Megan
  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    I'd hold off on the wedding planning.  If you need to be legally wed for insurance or other reasons, go to the JOP and get it done. Save the big reception for when you have money, jobs (!), and your own home (rented or owned) away from your parents.

    image
  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_ready-quit-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:683ab7f4-0ea5-441d-b4cd-015e352b32e3Post:86cc40e6-df06-4986-8e44-dbee851f1960">Ready To Quit Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have had every set back known to man with this wedding. I don't even know what to do anymore. I have no one to help me plan it. I am losing my job this week and fiance lost his a couple of weeks ago. We had nothing saved up, because of other set backs. I have so many outside issues and then when I try to plan the wedding, I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall. I want to find a venue where I can bring my own caterer, even the park district requires you choose from their preferred list. I can't even get some save the date cards picked out because every time I try to get my fiance to look at some, he's too busy, or too tired. He tells me to just choose what I want, and then I'll pick something and he doesn't like it. My MOH can't make up her mind if we're friends or not. My FMIL can't stand me, and doesn't even realize how much she doesn't like me and how much it shows. My fiance and I moved in with my parents to help them out, and as soon as we lose our jobs, we have to be on tip toe, we have to figure something out, we have to mind our ps & qs. if we can't contribute part of the electric bill this month, which we have never missed and have always paid in full prior, my mom said she has no problems turning off the lights over our reptiles, who need the light to survive. Nevermind that her and my dad constantly have the tv, the stereo system, and the computer going, simultaneously, all day and well into the night, AND she leaves the lights down in the basement on, ALL the time, because HER favorite cat is afraid of the dark. I'm so tired and stressed out and I don't know when I'm going to catch a break. I'm too exhausted to even worry about my grammar and my sentence structure, and I am a BEAST about that stuff. I try to talk to my fiance and he just shrugs and says he doesn't know. i try to talk to my friends and they shrug it off. I don't know how I'm supposed to plan a wedding like this,
    Posted by Faburaw[/QUOTE]

    image
  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    How are you helping your parents if neither of you have jobs?
    image
  • jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Sounds like you should postpone the wedding. Wait until you are on your feet and then plan the celebration that you can afford.

    Good luck with everything! Sounds like you have a lot on your plate.
  • AuntFloAuntFlo member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    It sounds like picking out STDs is the least of your worries.   Focus on getting jobs and your own place.   As DG1 said, if you need to get married go to a JOP - otherwise focus on the essentials (job, money, roof over your head) and forget about the wedding for now.
    And even if you choose to ignore this advice and continue with the wedding planning, at least keep in mind that STDs are a very new practice that is NOT AT ALL necessary.   Weddings can be done much more simply and affordably then "the knot" and other sites and magazines will tell you.
  • LnR70707LnR70707 member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Your FI's name is Cable??

    and could you get more boob in your profile pic??  No wonder your FMIL doesn't like you.
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  • edited December 2011
    You bitched at your fiancé for proposing when you weren't dressed up? Well, I guess I should've screamed at mine for daring to propose when my legs were bug-bit to hell... they didn't heal properly for at least a month, it was really bad. But I didn't care because he proposed!

    And ditto PPs that jobs should be the priority right now, and your own place, NOT a wedding.
    image
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_ready-quit-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:683ab7f4-0ea5-441d-b4cd-015e352b32e3Post:0c467ff5-8a50-42d8-8079-c6f4c70b00d2">Re: Ready To Quit Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]You bitched at your fiancé for proposing when you weren't dressed up? Well, I guess I should've screamed at mine for daring to propose when my legs were bug-bit to hell... they didn't heal properly for at least a month, it was really bad. But I didn't care because he proposed! And ditto PPs that jobs should be the priority right now, and your own place, NOT a wedding.
    Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]

    Yeah. I probably should have told FI that his way was unacceptable, since it was in the parking lot next to the service garage at the car dealership that I work at. Romantic.

    Oh wait - it's the fact that he PROPOSED that is important, not where/how he did it. Geez OP, you sound like a real gem.

    Take a step back from wedding planning and get your lives in order.
  • FaburawFaburaw member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow, I love ignorant people who have nothing better to do than pick people apart. I wish I could be as cruel and humorless as you are. Me yelling at him during the proposal was a joke, and if all you can do is rip me apart for not being you, then that's your problem. And my boobs? The picture was taken after an event I did. I'm an LGBT advocate who works with drag queens. DEAL.
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