New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids

saya0001 · February 2013

I have a big family which means a big wedding party.. And not many friends are included in it. I have a few friends that I would like to feel special and set apart from being just a guest. I want these girls to wear a lighter shade from my bridesmaids, will be included in the program, I have made gifts for them, they are getting ready with us on the wedding day... And may even walk down the aisle their choice. I don't know what to call them though..

I don't like the term honorary bridesmaid... It seems like they are second choice, and they aren't.

My bridal party is already 13, and my fianc has no one else to ask. Any suggestions?

misssunshine17 · February 2013

1) sides don't need to be even.

2) A bridal party of 13 is absurd. Sorry, I can't.

3) There is no such thing as an honorary (or by any other name) bridesmaid. It WOULD be you telling them they are second best.

Leave your bridal party alone. I doubt they really want to be #14 anyway.

AddieCake · February 2013

I beg you to reconsider for the reasons listed above. However, if you feel you must do this and give them a title, I believe "house party" (shudder) is the trending name for this.

Jenni8412 · February 2013

In Response to Re:New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids:[QUOTE]Let them wear what they want and get ready with you. Skip any made up titles. Getting a title doesn't make me feel included in a wedding. Spending time with the bride and groom makes me feel included. Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]
THIS! There's not any 'public' recognition that would make me feel more special to a friend on her wedding day more than the simple 'behind the scenes' type involvement you already plan on including them in.

OliveOilsMom · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_new-name-for-honorary-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2bb86f9-624b-4a92-bc49-5e4fe9df1ebbPost:5cbfa591-272a-4afb-ab2a-e63cb7f131ee">New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a big family which means a big wedding party.. And not many friends are included in it. I have a few friends that I would like to feel special and set apart from being just a guest. I want these girls to wear a lighter shade from my bridesmaids, will be included in the program, I have made gifts for them, they are getting ready with us on the wedding day... And may even walk down the aisle their choice. I don't know what to call them though.. I don't like the term honorary bridesmaid... It seems like they are second choice, and they aren't. My bridal party is already 13, and my fianc has no one else to ask. Any suggestions?
Posted by saya0001[/QUOTE]

Ditto Retread.

kaos16 · February 2013

I agree with what PPs have said. For what it's worth, when I hear the phrase "honorary bridesmaid" I think of someone who was asked and then unable to participate because of hospitalization, deployment or death.

zitiqueen · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_new-name-for-honorary-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2bb86f9-624b-4a92-bc49-5e4fe9df1ebbPost:5cbfa591-272a-4afb-ab2a-e63cb7f131ee">New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a big family which means a big wedding party.. And not many friends are included in it. I have a few friends that I would like to feel special and set apart from being just a guest.<strong> I want these girls to wear a lighter shade from my bridesmaids</strong>, will be included in the program, I have made gifts for them, they are getting ready with us on the wedding day... And may even walk down the aisle their choice. I don't know what to call them though.. I don't like the term honorary bridesmaid... It seems like they are second choice, and they aren't. My bridal party is already 13, and my fianc has no one else to ask. Any suggestions?
Posted by saya0001[/QUOTE]

If you're forcing me to wear specific clothing, I damned well better be a bridesmaid.

TheFutureMrsCromer · February 2013

I personally was thinking of doing the same thing, but calling it my house party. I have read that some people use house parties to pass out programs, greet, etc. I don't necessarily want to do that. I can only have 5 bridesmaids. I have 10 people I want in the wedding party that all mean so much to me. The girls in my life are the type to completely understand that they aren't runner-ups, just that I really want them included and it's the only way in my situation.

They will have their own dress (I choose color, they choose dress), be involved in everything the bridesmaids are, have their own row for seating- literally the only difference is their dress and where they sit.

Anyway, some people may look down upon it, but it really depends on the girls you will be asking and whether or not they would be offended.

Good luck!

cbrown828 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_new-name-for-honorary-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2bb86f9-624b-4a92-bc49-5e4fe9df1ebbPost:1893cf26-5c93-4cae-abd3-7f873d865936">Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally was thinking of doing the same thing, but calling it my house party. I have read that some people use house parties to pass out programs, greet, etc. I don't necessarily want to do that. I can only have 5 bridesmaids. I have 10 people I want in the wedding party that all mean so much to me. The girls in my life are the type to completely understand that they aren't runner-ups, just that I really want them included and it's the only way in my situation. They will have their own dress (I choose color, they choose dress), be involved in everything the bridesmaids are, have their own row for seating- literally the only difference is their dress and where they sit. Anyway, some people may look down upon it, <strong>but it really depends on the girls you will be asking and whether or not they would be offended.</strong> Good luck!
Posted by TheFutureMrsCromer[/QUOTE]

No it doesn't. Poor ettiquite is poor ettiquite even if the people affected by it say it's fine.

AggieColey · February 2013

House party is a great way to include them! I understand your struggle and I have been an honorary part of several weddings where they had sisters as bridemaids or only had one bridesmaid and all the friends were able to get ready with the bride and helped at the reception. We loved being able to be a part of the wedding no matter how small of a role it was! If these woman really are great friends and love you, they won't get offended as most people above believe! Good luck!

Salsera29 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_new-name-for-honorary-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2bb86f9-624b-4a92-bc49-5e4fe9df1ebbPost:1893cf26-5c93-4cae-abd3-7f873d865936">Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally was thinking of doing the same thing, but calling it my house party. I have read that <strong>some people use house parties to pass out programs</strong>, greet, etc. I don't necessarily want to do that. I can only have 5 bridesmaids. I have 10 people I want in the wedding party that all mean so much to me. The girls in my life are the type to completely understand that they aren't runner-ups, just that I really want them included and it's the only way in my situation. They will have their own dress (I choose color, they choose dress), be involved in everything the bridesmaids are, have their own row for seating- literally the only difference is their dress and where they sit. Anyway, some people may look down upon it, but it really depends on the girls you will be asking and whether or not they would be offended. Good luck!
Posted by TheFutureMrsCromer[/QUOTE]

<div>You shouldn't be "using" your friends for anything. </div><div>
</div><div>ETA: I'm sorry I can't leave this out...OP you are actually planning on having a VISUAL REPRESENTATION of how your "honorary BM" are less important than the "real" bridesmaids by having them wear the same color in a lighter shade? Really?</div>

OliveOilsMom · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_new-name-for-honorary-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2bb86f9-624b-4a92-bc49-5e4fe9df1ebbPost:f9016072-359e-4fcd-8732-7c85b1b33bc6">Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]House party is a great way to include them! I understand your struggle and I have been an honorary part of several weddings where they had sisters as bridemaids or only had one bridesmaid and all the friends were able to get ready with the bride and helped at the reception. We loved being able to be a part of the wedding no matter how small of a role it was! If these woman really are great friends and love you, they won't get offended as most people above believe! Good luck!
Posted by AggieColey[/QUOTE]

But a bride can ask any friends to get ready with her and a friend can offer her assistance to a bride without the friend having a crappy title or being a BM.

AggieColey · February 2013

Almost every wedding I've been to in the past 3 years have done that. I've been in the house party of 5 weddings myself and loved getting to help the bride. I know how stressful weddings can be for the bride and any chance I can get to help a friend I would!
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_new-name-for-honorary-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2bb86f9-624b-4a92-bc49-5e4fe9df1ebbPost:1893cf26-5c93-4cae-abd3-7f873d865936">Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally was thinking of doing the same thing, but calling it my house party. I have read that some people use house parties to pass out programs, greet, etc. I don't necessarily want to do that. I can only have 5 bridesmaids. I have 10 people I want in the wedding party that all mean so much to me. The girls in my life are the type to completely understand that they aren't runner-ups, just that I really want them included and it's the only way in my situation. They will have their own dress (I choose color, they choose dress), be involved in everything the bridesmaids are, have their own row for seating- literally the only difference is their dress and where they sit. Anyway, some people may look down upon it, but it really depends on the girls you will be asking and whether or not they would be offended. Good luck!
Posted by TheFutureMrsCromer[/QUOTE]

Simply Fated · February 2013

I agree with stage. Why do they need a title to get ready with you? Call the guest a guest, that's what they are. Call a spade a spade. Anyone can get ready with you, they don't have to have a title for that to happen.

saya0001 · February 2013

Wow, I see a lot of people saying not to do it.. I didn't ask that. I asked for another name. Let me explain a little more.. my bridesmaids are only family sisters, nieces, in laws NO FRIENDS. My friends know my situation and are okay with the term "honorary bridesmaid"... Whether it be bad etiquette or tacky.. And yes having them set in a lighter shade is to separate them from my family.. It was actually an "honorary bridesmaid's" idea. The lighter color are the people who I choose by friendship, not blood. And they are excited about getting their dresses... It's been a fun hunt that I've attended with each girl value ranging from 1570... So no complaints This post is because I am not okay with term "honorary bridesmaid". I am asking for other names, not your negative opinion. Thanks!

mcda04 · February 2013

Am I the only one that gets the feeling that the OP is the same one from the House Maid thread above?

artbyallie · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_new-name-for-honorary-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2bb86f9-624b-4a92-bc49-5e4fe9df1ebbPost:cb3ba272-37cf-496d-8690-3fbc42e2b840">Re:New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, I see a lot of people saying not to do it.. I didn't ask that. I asked for another name. Let me explain a little more.. my bridesmaids are only family sisters, nieces, in laws NO FRIENDS. My friends know my situation and are okay with the term "honorary bridesmaid"... Whether it be bad etiquette or tacky.. And yes having them set in a lighter shade is to separate them from my family.. It was actually an "honorary bridesmaid's" idea. The lighter color are the people who I choose by friendship, not blood. And they are excited about getting their dresses... It's been a fun hunt that I've attended with each girl value ranging from 1570... So no complaints This post is because I am not okay with term "honorary bridesmaid". I am asking for other names, not your negative opinion. Thanks!
Posted by saya0001[/QUOTE]

<div>If you're telling them what to wear, they're in the wedding party, and that makes them bridesmaids. There is no other title that is not inherently insulting.</div>

NYCMercedes · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_new-name-for-honorary-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2bb86f9-624b-4a92-bc49-5e4fe9df1ebbPost:cb3ba272-37cf-496d-8690-3fbc42e2b840">Re:New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, I see a lot of people saying not to do it.. I didn't ask that. I asked for another name.
This post is because I am not okay with term "honorary bridesmaid". I am asking for other names, not your negative opinion. Thanks!
Posted by saya0001[/QUOTE]

You must be a preschool teacher as you seem to believe you have the right to tell people what to say.

How 'bout calling them first class guests? That way every other guest won't have to know they are second class.

saya0001 · February 2013

I don't see the point in people wasting their time posting about something that isn't relevant to my question. Just like your response... Waste of your time typing and my time reading.. People should actually answer the question, instead of posting their unwanted opinion.

AddieCake · February 2013

We post our opinions in the hopes you will see the silliness of what you're asking. We represent the masses. Your friends and family will not be honest with you. We don't know you, have nothing vested in you or your wedding, and don't have to face you at family functions in the future. If 10 or 20 of us think an idea is bad, don't you think odds are good at some people in your real life will think so, too? They won't say it to your face. Instead, they will gossip about you behind your back. We are trying to protect you from that happening.

AddieCake · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_new-name-for-honorary-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2bb86f9-624b-4a92-bc49-5e4fe9df1ebbPost:a8873590-b9b7-4c61-b054-3f3788372560">Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids : Oh please, protect me? Call it what you want. And just because you and 10-20 people don't agree with me means I am wrong? I can EASILY find 40 people that say your wedding dress is horrible and those scarves on your bridesmaids are so UGLY... does that mean that I'm right then? Would you have changed it? I doubt it.. I know my friends and I know them well... YOU do NOT! Once again, like I said on my thread, if you didn't have helpful words then don't respond. And really WHY are you still on a wedding forum? It's been almost a year since your wedding.. maybe you should stop being a wedding junkie... yours is OVER, let people have theirs the way the want :)
Posted by saya0001[/QUOTE]

<div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;">You're right. I shouldn't be here. Having planned a wedding, I clearly have no advice to offer people who are currently planning their weddings. It's best to take advice from someone who has never done this before. When I get pregnant, I will be sure to know to ask advice only from people who have never had a baby since you have shown me that asking people who have already had an experience is not the way to go.</span></div>

Salsera29 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_new-name-for-honorary-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2bb86f9-624b-4a92-bc49-5e4fe9df1ebbPost:a8873590-b9b7-4c61-b054-3f3788372560">Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids : Oh please, protect me? Call it what you want. And just because you and 10-20 people don't agree with me means I am wrong? I can EASILY find 40 people that say your wedding dress is horrible and those scarves on your bridesmaids are so UGLY... does that mean that I'm right then? Would you have changed it? I doubt it.. I know my friends and I know them well... YOU do NOT! Once again, like I said on my thread, if you didn't have helpful words then don't respond. And really WHY are you still on a wedding forum? It's been almost a year since your wedding.. maybe you should stop being a wedding junkie... yours is OVER, let people have theirs the way the want :)
Posted by saya0001[/QUOTE]

<div>1. If you are so confident about your friends being fine with this situation, why don't you just ask them what they want to be called? Why come here for advice?</div><div>
</div><div>2. Addie is the nicest reg you will find on these boards. She knows what she's talking about and attacking her is just mean and will get you nowhere.</div><div>
</div><div>3. Some people are thankful for the advice of women who have been through this before and made mistakes that we can learn from. If all the married women left it would be "the blind leading the blind" and that would be helpful for no one. </div>

AddieCake · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_new-name-for-honorary-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2bb86f9-624b-4a92-bc49-5e4fe9df1ebbPost:ae4102bf-b2b5-43b2-ac40-60520fa7b16e">Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids :Addie is the nicest reg you will find on these boards. She knows what she's talking about and attacking her is just mean and will get you nowhere.
Posted by Salsera29[/QUOTE]

<div>A<a href="http://www..thanks," rel="nofollow">www..thanks,</a> Salsera!</div>

OjoGrande · March 2013

A perfect name for Honorary bridesmaids would be "less important wedding party members".

Just get shirts made for them that say that and then you'll be good to go.

Peledreamsofrain · March 2013

I have several title ideas for your less desirables!!

1.) Less Important Person
2.) Second Class Citizen
3.) Pity Prize
4.) "um... who are you again?"
5.) Catty Underhanded Remark on Our Relationship
6.) Whatever, I don't Care Enough to Try

There, I answered your question. Aren't you excited? Also, lay off of Addie, for reals. You'll make all the regulars VERY interested in ALL of your posts if you keep being a bully to her.

Hugs and kisses!

melissanjoe21 · March 2013

There is no other word for honary bridesmaids. I am sure you have googled and and come here and still can't find one. because there is no such thing as honaray bridesmaids. Your either a bridesmaid or your not. It costs my bridesmaids roughly 600 dollars for that day. Between dress, shoes, hair travel etc.. I would never make some pay for a certain dress or color of a dress and all the expenses behind to be a HONARY. The whole idea is absurd.. No one really cares if your 20 friends will tell it to your face or not.

lk1213 · May 2013

Best wishes!

[Deleted User] · May 2013

I have a similar situation. I have three bridesmaids right now, but am an interior design major (so all of my classmates ended up being girls). My graduating class is only 9 girls so I could definitely ask the 8 girls I spend all of my time with to be bridesmaids. But the thing is, I don't want that many girls in my wedding party because I want to be able to relax a little the morning of my wedding, and I want to be able to give my bridesmaids more generous gifts. I owe so much to my classmates though for supporting me, so I am giving them the recognition for it. During toast time at the wedding, when the bride and groom give their thank yous, I plan on bringing special attention to my classmates for getting me through (and playing "our" song as the opening song when the dancing begins). Also, I plan on going out to lunch with them about 2 weeks before the wedding where I will give them each a bracelet to wear on the wedding day so they definitely know how much I love them. Just a simple bangle.

I hope this helps you out! Yours friends will be totally understanding because they love you and everyone knows how dramatic weddings can get.

Kate61487 · May 2013

guys, guys, relax. It's okay. Didn't you read her update? She's not telling these girls they're second rate bridesmaids. She's telling her bridesmaids that THEY'RE second rate; since clearly she wishes she could have her friends instead of her family. Because if she truly wanted them in addition to her family they wouldn't need separate titles or different dress colors.

Unless, you know, there's some rule that none of us have heard of that says cousins and friends can't wear the same dress color...

jlm9113 · May 2013

saya0001 said:

In Response to Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids:
We post our opinions in the hopes you will see the silliness of what you're asking. We represent the masses. Your friends and family will not be honest with you. We don't know you, have nothing vested in you or your wedding, and don't have to face you at family functions in the future. If 10 or 20 of us think an idea is bad, don't you think odds are good at some people in your real life will think so, too? They won't say it to your face. Instead, they will gossip about you behind your back. We are trying to protect you from that happening.
Posted by AddieL73

Oh please, protect me? Call it what you want. And just because you and 10-20 people don't agree with me means I am wrong? I can EASILY find 40 people that say your wedding dress is horrible and those scarves on your bridesmaids are so UGLY... does that mean that I'm right then? Would you have changed it? I doubt it.. I know my friends and I know them well... YOU do NOT! Once again, like I said on my thread, if you didn't have helpful words then don't respond. And really WHY are you still on a wedding forum? It's been almost a year since your wedding.. maybe you should stop being a wedding junkie... yours is OVER, let people have theirs the way the want

That smiley face at the end of your post makes everything rude you wrote SO much less rude:D

/sarcasm & sarcasm with smiley faces

MuppetFan · May 2013

I can easily find a few hundred people to honestly say that Addie's wedding dress was amazing and that the scarves are awesome - so awesome that I stole the idea.

New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids

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