Not Engaged Yet

preplanning

I've ventured back to this board as my wedding has just passed the 365 days to go mark. Things are getting done. Everything's going great. And I wanted to address something I see here a lot: preplanning.

There's a lot of preplanners. And a lot of angry anti-preplanners (many of whom seem to already be married). I preplanned LIKE A CRAZY PERSON. and I wanted to talk about the results of that.

It was the best thing I could have done for this wedding. 

Seriously. 

Once I got engaged yes, there was a couple weeks of excited open planning and getting to ask the fiance about his ideas. But then it slowed down and I got over it. If I had not preplanned I do not think this wedding would go off with the same order, lack of panic, etc. Once you're engaged suddenly the wedding is just...a thing. It's not some crazy change in your life, that's marriage. My priorities right now are with my job and with my relationship. I pretty much stopped caring so much about the wedding as soon as that ring was on my finger. Luckily I had already thought through most of the logistics, so the fact that I'm not thinking about it every second isn't going to stop me from having a good event. 

I'm just happy to be with him, for the rest of my life, and we could go to the courthouse tomorrow and that would be fine with me. Just not with our mothers heh...

AND, I've admitted my preplanning to my fiance. And while he teased me for being an OAG, he was still happy to have something to start with, cause let's face it...boys have NO IDEA what's going on. He didn't even know engagement photos were a thing. 

If you're a crazy preplanner and that's a deal breaker, maybe he didn't like your personality to begin with. 

And if you're already married why the hell are you on a wedding board criticizing other girls for their choices? That's CRAZY. Like...get a job. or a baby. or whatever it is you need to do to have something better to do with your time. 

Un-engaged girls: daydream away. and don't let people tell you you're a bad girlfriend or whatever because you preplan. It's a WEDDING WEBSITE with a NOT YET ENGAGED board. It SHOULD be a place specifically for preplanners, not vultures.
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Re: preplanning

  • RWS2011RWS2011 member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2012
    Did you mean to post this in the" I'm annoying because..." thread?  Because... it fits nicely. 
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  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 Washington, DC member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    You know, I preplanned too.  Once upon a time.  You know what happened?  That relationship crashed and burned and exploded into a million tiny pieces.  Know why?  Because I was SO CAUGHT UP in planning a non-existant wedding that I couldn't be bothered to deal with the problems in my relationship.

    There's a difference between looking at things idly every now and then, and actually planning a wedding.  Actually planning a wedding before you're engaged?  Bad. News. Bears.
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  • I don't find the advice here to be anything but honest. They're trying to make people aware of the mistakes of others so they don't make the same ones. We all knew that one girl we went to college with who planned her whole wedding before she was even engaged - and it was mess and laughable. Getting advice from people who are already married/engaged is a good thing. And if it's really that offensive, maybe head on over to weddingbee.
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  • that's a good point peekaboo2011. Because this is the main argument brought up against preplanning. It's important to remember just because you can fantasize about the ideal wedding doesn't make it an ideal relationship. 

    But I challenge that if your relationship hadn't had those problems, would you have not preplanned? It's a cause and effect. You're saying preplanning = ignoring problems in relationship = relationship crumbling. I'm saying that's an incorrect rationalization. Because had you not had problems in the relationship, what would there be to ignore?

    Maybe preplanning is only a good idea if you're at a point in your relationship where you know without doubt, naivete, or wedding-fever, that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. 

    I like the traditional guy ask girl style, because it seems guys take longer to figure out what they're doing. But if you're right, and you guys belong together, what's the harm? 

    I just think you anti-preplanning guys are so busy criticizing other people's relationships that it's gotten way to negative. Don't like preplanning? Don't do it. But let the girls have their fun un-attacked; cause it's not always such a bad thing.
  • adirechanceadirechance member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited October 2012
    I know those people too. They had venues picked out and rings saved in private albums on their phones. And yeah, some of them didn't work out. But that's not because they preplanned...that's because their relationship sucked. 

    I preplanned. I am putting it here on this board. I PREPLANNED. And I'm engaged. And I'm sooo happy I did it. Because I want the next year to be a little more about me and him being together, and a little less about the ideal font on an invitation and the difference between starting at 6 and 6:30.
  • edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_preplanning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5d4e29b3-c29e-4a6e-a644-d820577228e6Post:716bdc22-d90c-483c-b334-34c84b4a1dd0">Re: preplanning</a>:
    [QUOTE]Did you mean to post this in the" I'm annoying because..." thread?  Because, it fits nicely. 
    Posted by RWS2011[/QUOTE]

    Zing!

    OP, I'm unmarried but engaged, and have been on this board since roughly 2.5 years prior to engagement (which is why I'm still here, and why many married posters are too). What you are advising people to do is not only crazy but <em>unhealthy. </em>We don't tell girls not to preplan because we like being grinches or clutching our pearls while crying, "THAT'S NOT HOW IT'S DONE!!!!!111131" We do it to save people's sanity and relationships. Many (probably most) of us engaged/married hags do this because we drank the crazy koolaide and learned it's poisoned.

    Yes, I was BSC at one point. I never truly preplanned, aside from wondering how the heck I'm going to keep myself from throwing my dad's wife in a lake, but that's only because I'm lazy. However, what is true for almost everyone is that thinking about an (unofficial) wedding before you should will do two things: 1) take away from the point in life you currently are AND the specialness of the next step, 2) drive you insane.

    Basically it goes like this: unengaged girl gets bit by the wedding bug --- /> hasn't gone crazy yet, but starts convo with SO --- /> SO says let's look at rings soon/I want to marry you someday --- /> girl starts planning hoping for proposal ---> many men run off of a different definition of soon so  months/years go by ---> girl can only think about wedding ---> girl starts getting bitter and upset that he hasn't proposed ---> like a cavity in a tooth, bitterness starts to eat at the relationship ---> guy starts wondering where the hell his sane woman is and or/starts feeling pressured ---> prolongs things ---> vicious cycle.

    I speak from experience. I contracted bridal rabies during my friend's wedding, and due to a myriad of reasons there was just no way for us to take that step at that time. But (then) BF did say we would, "soon." Ah, that soon. I <em>clung</em> to that. I thought about marrying him constantly, and the longer it took or any time there was a setback in our finances/personal lives, the harder it became to swallow the wait. After awhile, <em>I freaking cried to FI some nights because it was taking so long</em> <em>it HURT</em>. So not only do I get to feel like an idiot forever about that, I also upset FI, and will never know with 100% certainty that he didn't feel like he <em>had</em> to propose. I'm pretty certain, basically positive, but there will always be that question.

    When I finally got a-hold of myself and reined it in, life got back on track. I told myself to stop thinking about it, did so, and woujalooki'that, by proxy I wasn't consumed with thoughts of WHY HADN'T IT HAPPENED YET and thus upset at everything.

    Also, from what little I did preplan, <em>none of it happened</em>. I thought we would have a winter wedding in January with no kids invited, no garter/bouquet toss, and I'd have like...8 bridesmaids and an A-line dress. Well lo and behold, time and the fact FI's involved in these things too changed that! Turns out June worked better (most notably not Winter or January), my sister and close friends have young kids (so kids will be there, I suppose, because I want my friends there), FI really wants to do the garter toss (to my dismay, but compromise and all that), I have a drop waist flare gown, and I have 4 bridesmaids.

    There's just no point in planning something until there's something <em>to</em> plan, because everything most likely will change. And if you have your heart set on a 50's glam style wedding with petunias everywhere, it's going to suck REAL hard when/if your FI hates petunias and you guys find that your guests wouldn't likely come to a 50's wedding. Again, I speak from experience (it was not easy to tear me away from my Winter wedding. Not at all).

    I also find that I sometimes miss being "just" BF/GF. I love that I'll be marrying this man, but as some of the old regs say, you never get that time back. It should really be cherished, not clouded up with something unnecessary.

    Then there's also the fact it doesn't take a bazillion years to plan a wedding, and burn out happens. Fast. Within a couple weeks of actively planning our wedding I had about 75% of it done. And again, I'm <em>really f*cking lazy</em>, so it wasn't like I was trying hard. I also found myself sick of it after, at most, a week. You don't want to be sick of something before you truly begin, do you?

    Finally, to end my essay, there's a <em>huge</em> difference between daydreaming and preplanning. Daydreaming = OK. Preplaning =/= ok.

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  • From a different site I read:

    "I waited several years for him to propose. He kept talking about marriage, we looked at rings, etc but time just went on and on. I became resentful and started doubting his feelings for me. I always thought that if a man wants to marry the girl, he will and won't drag it out and stall. So I left. He found his way back into my life, proposed with a gorgeous ring, took me on a romantic vacation and is asking me when can we begin planning. Well baby, I still love you but you killed my excitement long ago after dragging it out for 8 years. I don't want to plan anything. Not feeling it yet, sorry."

    Not fire I'd want to play with, nosiree.

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  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Oh, OP.

    Bless your heart.

  • I'm thinking from reading your story that we might be looking at preplanning differently. Making lists and budgets and picking out photos is still a far cry from being desperate to get married RIGHT NOW. That's never been something I felt, and I'm getting married true to the date I had planned (farther out than conventional to an engagement) because I had previously checked out the weather and off seasons in our city and it makes the most sense. I must have gone through a dozen "perfect dresses" before even thinking I was anywhere near to that big question and that was just fine. I'm also finding that in large doses, I get sick of "wedding time," but I didn't get that feeling in the year I planned and replanned, sorted and thought through, so  now I just gotta call the numbers. And yeah, his views were different. I wanted a green color scheme, he wanted blue. Well...it doesn't really matter. He got his color scheme. I like that he felt strongly about something and it allowed me to change things all over again. 

  •   You are so much smarter than anyone here.  Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom.

    What knowledge would I have about relationships.  It is just so silly for me to think that I have anything to contribute after being married for three years.  It is ridiculous for me to come here and chat with other women who I may have 'known' for more than 5 freaking minutes.  You don't think that the married women started out AS engaged women here? 


    P.S. If TK was only people who are currently engaged, then the blind would just be leading the blind around because very, very few would actually have REAL experience.  
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  • I'm confused by your second story. The fire I would not want to play with is a girl who's so into a "wedding" that she loses interest in a marriage when she doesn't get it when she wants...
  • the mutleys: I am not questioning your chatting, by all means chat away :) 

    I am just tired of seeing new people on this thread get their heads bitten off everytime they try to join a discussion that was set up to be meant for them. 

    I'm confused by your first statement...was that directed at me or the anti-preplanners? I'm not trying to "share my wisdom" i.e. tell people what to think). So I guess it's directed at them. heh. idunno. 

    For clarity I'll reiterate: Some people do preplan and still have great relationships, so maybe you should be less judgemental of people who do given what this board is supposed to be about and the fact that not every preplanned wedding crashes and burns?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_preplanning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5d4e29b3-c29e-4a6e-a644-d820577228e6Post:1d30d55b-134b-4c06-9535-cd474ea2eaec">Re: preplanning</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: preplanning :   I contracted <strong>bridal rabies</strong> during my friend's wedding, and due to a myriad of reasons there was just no way for us to take that step at that time. 
    Posted by zipis1[/QUOTE]
    I have missed you zipis! This made me laugh. <div>
    </div><div>OP zipis is right.  I planned my wedding in 8 months, while in school full time and working part time.  I didn't preplan (well at least before we got engaged.  I got a little carried away and freaked my H out.  Luckily I found these girls and backed off.  A year later I got engaged)  I am so glad I didn't because my dreams were totally different than how my wedding turned out.   So most of us have experience with how preplanning can ruin your relationship.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Also I stay on here because I like these girls and I can sometimes ofter helpful advice.  </div>
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • edited October 2012
    Preplanning to me is actually researching anything or having anything, well...planned, so having those numbers you mention.  Daydreaming is just thinking, offhandedly, "Oh, that dress is so pretty," imagining yourself in it, and then moving on with your life.

    My point, though, was that most of us know the danger of preplaning, i.e., that it easily (and almost always) turns to desperation/someone feeling bad/crazy/disappointed. If you managed to escape that, kudos, woo, confetti and all that. But from my experiences here and IRL, that is pretty darn rare, and thus we advise women to step back and not allow themselves to dwell on something potentially toxic. It's like saying, "True,1% of people exposed to asbestos don't get cancer, so there's a chance it'd be fine, but there's a reason it's discouraged. It's just best to stay away from it."

    I would say I wasn't particularly stuck on a Winter wedding, yet it was still difficult for me to let it go and accept June. It would be a lot worse for someone who had planned it and had their heart set on it.  Andplusalso, budget plays a huge, gigantic role in these things, and you really don't know what your budget will allow until the ball's actually rolling, and even then it can get screwy. The fact I didn't have any true details I was set on allowed me to really go with the flow of what our budget can allow, and I have seen many girls unable to do that because it's not what they had dreamed.

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  • edited October 2012
    The second story unlerlines that she preplanned/got overexcited/too deeply invested in something non-concrete, and now she's bitter and doesn't like the taste with it on her plate.  It has poisoned her relationship.

    Edit: Another reason preplanning is just pointless: if you don't know when you'll be taking the plunge, it could be years. In a matter of one year so many things can come in and go out of fashion, that perfect dress will no longer be available, more than half of the vendors you'd hoped to contact will be out of business (especially in this economy), you may have moved, and your tastes will likely have changed. If you're going to keep changing it there's no point in doing it, unless you're actively working toward/through roadblocks (i.e., engaged) within a year or two, at most.

    And, again, I'm happy it worked for you, but many more have had a date "set" in their heads...even agreed upon with their SO, but were not engaged. Then that date drew nearer and nearer until it whizzed by, no proposal. You can guess how that made certain people feel.

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  • In Response to Re:preplanning:[QUOTE]I am just tired of seeing new people on this thread get their heads bitten off everytime they try to join a discussion that was set up to be meant for them. I'm confused by your first statement...was that directed at me or the antipreplanners? I'm not trying to "share my wisdom" i.e. tell people what to think. So I guess it's directed at them. heh. idunno.Posted by adirechance[/QUOTE]

    Thank you, Captain SaveaNewb. While some preplanners are dealt with harshly, most are not. You'll never convince the majority of us that preplanning is a good idea. You see, a wedding is a union between two people, so planning one when you aren't engaged is just plain a bad idea. And it doesn't show a whole lot of respect for your future husband, since you can't hold your freaking horses and wait until you actually have agreed to be married.

    TheMutleys was definitely talking to you. It's called sarcasm.
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  • When do we get wedding pics, Raven!?

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_preplanning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5d4e29b3-c29e-4a6e-a644-d820577228e6Post:9bfd01eb-f5a1-4eea-8caa-0c2e6d01f1ed">Re: preplanning</a>:
    [QUOTE]When do we get wedding pics, Raven!?
    Posted by zipis1[/QUOTE]
    Oh I forgot I never posted them on here.  I'll link it for you in another post :)  How have you been?
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • I have been quite lovely, but tired. And currently sick and sound like a frog talking on an old, untuned radio. It means my dogs don't find me very intimidating when they're being scolded >:/

    FI and I are still thinking what we'd like our color scheme to be. It would have been so much easier if Winter had worked out :P

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_preplanning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5d4e29b3-c29e-4a6e-a644-d820577228e6Post:7c74fbaf-a209-49f7-8403-071eabaae6bf">Re: preplanning</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have been quite lovely, but tired. And currently sick and sound like a frog talking on an old, untuned radio. It means my dogs don't find me very intimidating when they're being scolded />:/ FI and I are still thinking what we'd like our color scheme to be. It would have been so much easier if Winter had worked out :P
    Posted by zipis1[/QUOTE]
    Glad you are doing well, except for being sick... that sucks.  I did laugh about your dogs though.  I can just see them snickering at you.  Hmmm  Go with your favorite colors?  That is what I did.  Lol  
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • edited October 2012
    We apparently like too many colors to narrow it down! The closest we've gotten is something like this:



    Which manages to help and not help at all. We're kind of toying with emerald, sapphire, and amethyst or something. Have ourselves a gemstone wedding, ayup.

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  • I would argue that the reason OP was over planning two weeks after getting engaged was because she preplanned. Yes, I was over planning a few months into my engagement, but there was no reason to start planning beforehand. I planned when it was new and exciting. Then we took a break. Then we finished anything was left in the months right before the wedding.

    The Knot created this board because they want preplanners to spend money. They don't care if it's the right thing to do. It was just an untapped market segment that could increase their revenue. The actual regs here are trying to help new posters do what's healthier for them and their relationships.

    The old married hags stick around because 1) we can share our experiences to help guide others and 2) we're friends (many are IRL friends at that).
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_preplanning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5d4e29b3-c29e-4a6e-a644-d820577228e6Post:86bb20dd-0593-43a1-a2da-8ba8a8b2cfec">Re: preplanning</a>:
    [QUOTE]We apparently like too many colors to narrow it down! The closest we've gotten is something like this: Which manages to help and not help at all. We're kind of toying with emerald, sapphire, and amethyst or something. Have ourselves a gemstone wedding, ayup.
    Posted by zipis1[/QUOTE]
    Do it!  It might look good!  Plus I love those colors.  Pinterest that, everything is there! 
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 Washington, DC member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    Okay OP.  We get it.  You preplanned.  Now move along.  Especially if you hate us.  We've saved quite a few relationships round these parts.

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  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    My head. It just asploded. 



  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_preplanning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:5d4e29b3-c29e-4a6e-a644-d820577228e6Post:b1113083-0c5e-473c-841b-cab65fa35c25">Re: preplanning</a>:
    [QUOTE]My head. It just asploded. 
    Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]
    Yes, it's too early in the morning....

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_preplanning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:5d4e29b3-c29e-4a6e-a644-d820577228e6Post:079091e9-4760-43cd-aade-30ed7ea53245">Re: preplanning</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know those people too. They had venues picked out and rings saved in private albums on their phones. And yeah, some of them didn't work out. But that's not because they preplanned...that's because their relationship sucked.  I preplanned. I am putting it here on this board. I PREPLANNED. And I'm engaged. And I'm sooo happy I did it. <strong>Because I want the next year to be a little more about me and him being together, and a little less about the ideal font on an invitation and the difference between starting at 6 and 6:30.
    </strong>Posted by adirechance[/QUOTE]

    Ummmm...I'm sorry, but your arguement, here, makes zero sense. Why is the boyfriend/girlfriend stage of a relationship NOT the time to do just this?? Is it not supposed to be about the two of you being together? The engagement period IS the exact time for it to be about planning the wedding. You are assfuckingbackwards kiddo.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_preplanning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:5d4e29b3-c29e-4a6e-a644-d820577228e6Post:748bf870-036a-4b72-8304-48e994c32fbc">preplanning</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've ventured back to this board as my wedding has just passed the 365 days to go mark. Things are getting done. Everything's going great. And I wanted to address something I see here a lot: preplanning. There's a lot of preplanners. And a lot of angry anti-preplanners (many of whom seem to already be married). I preplanned LIKE A CRAZY PERSON. and I wanted to talk about the results of that. It was the best thing I could have done for this wedding.  Seriously.  Once I got engaged yes, there was a couple weeks of excited open planning and getting to ask the fiance about his ideas. But then it slowed down and I got over it. If I had not preplanned I do not think this wedding would go off with the same order, lack of panic, etc. Once you're engaged suddenly the wedding is just...a thing. It's not some crazy change in your life, that's marriage. My priorities right now are with my job and with my relationship. I pretty much stopped caring so much about the wedding as soon as that ring was on my finger. Luckily I had already thought through most of the logistics, so the fact that I'm not thinking about it every second isn't going to stop me from having a good event.  I'm just happy to be with him, for the rest of my life, and we could go to the courthouse tomorrow and that would be fine with me. Just not with our mothers heh... AND, I've admitted my preplanning to my fiance. And while he teased me for being an OAG, he was still happy to have something to start with, cause let's face it...boys have NO IDEA what's going on. He didn't even know engagement photos were a thing.  If you're a crazy preplanner and that's a deal breaker, maybe he didn't like your personality to begin with.  And if you're already married why the hell are you on a wedding board criticizing other girls for their choices? That's CRAZY. Like...get a job. or a baby. or whatever it is you need to do to have something better to do with your time.  Un-engaged girls: daydream away. and don't let people tell you you're a bad girlfriend or whatever because you preplan. I<strong>t's a WEDDING WEBSITE with a NOT YET ENGAGED board. It SHOULD be a place specifically for preplanners, not vultures.</strong>
    Posted by adirechance[/QUOTE]

    No, no, no.

    As someone who hasn't been posting a long time, I actually found it extremely helpful to lurk before I wrote up some BSC post about why this board "should be" for pre planners or talked about my "pre-engagement" with my BF. A lot of the ladies have formed friendships on this board, and just because they become engaged or married why should they have to stop interacting with others? They shouldn't.  Yes, this is 'Not Engaged Yet' but, it doesn't mean that you or anyone should EVER condone preplanning. Why would I plan a wedding that I'm not even sure will happen? I admit, about 8-7 months ago when I was bored with school and wasn't working full time I would spend time on Pinterest looking at wedding stuff. Then I realized I'm looking at all these things that I have no idea when, where, or if it'll happen. I love my relationship as it is with my BF. We actually just discussed going ring shopping within the next month or two. However, even if he purchases a ring before the year is over that does not mean he will propose any time soon. He could wait years before he decides to propose or not end up buying a ring for another couple years.

    I would expect if I posted stuff like you did that the ladies on this board would be nothing but brutually honest. When you post stuff on the internet people are going to tell you how it is and not sugar coat it.

    BTW, if I was to tell my BF I was preplanning a wedding I am 100% sure he would think I was crazy. He knows I have a lot going on with my last quarter in school, work and us purchasing a house.
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  • Nice to know I'm not the only preplanner out there. It annoys my boyfriend because he thinks that if i'm this into it before we're even engaged then I'll be psycho during the actual engagement but I just keep reminding him that the more I do now the less we'll have to do later. He's already said that he really doesn't care about the ceremony and that weddings are really just for brides. Even so I'm still just getting ideas and researching vendors so we know which ones to skip and which ones to consider. When he does propose we can sit down and go over the ideas I came up with and cross off the ones he doesn't like (hopefully) and maybe he'll have some good ideas of his own.
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