Let's Talk About This (Potentially NSFW)

Re: Let's Talk About This (Potentially NSFW)

• brandichamberlain

  

  May 2012

  I don't have children myself so it would be hard for me to say exactly what I will do when it came to this sort of thing, but I think the picture itself is a little bit too far. 

  

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• adamar15 member

  

  May 2012

  Attachment parenting weirds me out when it gets to the point of breastfeeding a 3 year old, but those are just my own personal hangups.  I agree with you, I think it's stupid to imply that a woman isn't "tough" enough if she doesn't practice AP.  There are a bajillion different parenting styles.  One religion isn't right for everyone, so why should on parenting style be the only one that's "right"?

  
  
  "Halloween may have loose women scantily clad...
  But Christmas has a pregnant virgin.
  
  Way cooler." - anna.oskar

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• MattsPenguin member

  

  May 2012

  I was wondering if someone would post it.  I just got it sent to me in an email by a friend.  (Who wasn't so keen on it).
  
  I agree with you MK.  It just sparks another thing for women to be competitive about.  Did you go all natural for childbirth?  Do you make your own food?  Do you use cloth diapers?  Can you handle breast feeding until 3 years of age?

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• Meghannsix member

  

  May 2012

  This is a tough one.  While I am all for breast feeding, I am also a big fan of parenting my way, and not being shamed into doing something that I either can't do, or don't agree with.  Due to multiple reasons, I was only able to nurse each of my kids for a few weeks, does that make me a bad mom?  I don't think so, and neither do my kids.

  

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• Avion22 member

  

  May 2012

  I'm not a parent, but that cover photo creeped me out.  If a kid is old enough to ask for it, then he's too old to breastfeed (in my opinion).

  

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• raes19 member

  

  May 2012

  All I know is, if I had a kid, I would not want them to see that cover in the line at the grocery store.

  

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• RupertPenny

  

  May 2012

  I can get behind some AP stuff, but some people treat parenting like a competition and I think when that happens everyone loses. And while there might be some things that are 100% the best thing to do when raising a child, that doesn't make other choices invalid. Maybe BFing until three is the best thing to do (I'm just using this as an example, not trying to start a debate), but that doesn't make BFing until one a bad choice, and it doesn't make formula feeding a bad choice. 

  

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• AbbeyS2011 member

  

  May 2012 edited May 2012

  Is the Attachment Parenting the same style that thinks diapers are taboo? 
  
  
  EDIT: Just clicked on the link - that is just so wrong. I feel sorry for the kid, because this pic will be around forever.

  

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• pkontk member

  

  May 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_lets-talk-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1b573969-87e7-4453-9582-e996ef89a0cdPost:fec476d0-1931-414c-ad3d-76f27e7848aa">Re: Let's Talk About This</a>:
  [QUOTE]I'm not a parent, but that cover photo creeped me out.  If a kid is old enough to ask for it, then he's too old to breastfeed (in my opinion).
  Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]
  
  Cosigned, me.
  
  I think that the baby craze and fascination with babies (celeb babies, baby blogs, etc.) has people over-thinking parenting.  Its great to be the best parent you can be for your child, but if do things one way and someone does them another way, that doesn't make you a bad parent, nor does it make them a bad parent.  As long as the children are safe, happy, and healthy then you are both good parents.

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• chelseamb11 member

  

  May 2012

  I think each mom can raise their child as she sees fit as long as it isn't isn't detrimental to the child's wellbeing.  I personally couldn't do it, but if it doesn't hurt anyone, who the heck cares?

   
  
  Teachery Blog
  

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• RupertPenny

  

  May 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_lets-talk-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1b573969-87e7-4453-9582-e996ef89a0cdPost:8ab21ab8-9f53-465b-8399-e112482090d6">Re: Let's Talk About This</a>:
  [QUOTE]All I know is, if I had a kid, I would not want them to see that cover in the line at the grocery store.
  Posted by raes19[/QUOTE]<div>
  </div><div>Out of all the things I've seen on the covers of magazines at the grocery store this one is pretty far down my list of ones to care about kids seeing. 
  
  </div>

  

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• mkrupar member

  

  May 2012

  I just added Potentailly NSFW in the title. I realize no one should be skeeved out by side boob, but some people may frown upon it.
  
  ITA with Anna. Instead of competing over which parenting style is better focus on your kids and your own lives. Everyone loses when we're all paying attention to what other people are doing and not paying enough attention in our own lives.
  
  DJ like I said I didn't read the article, just saw this one about the cover so I can't speak to what's actually in the magazine.

  
  

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• angelstar975 member

  

  May 2012

  The title on the cover really bothers me. Are you mom enough? First of all, I hate how breast feeding is shoved down women's throats in general when it's such a personal choice, but to suggest that if you don't want your toddler still sucking on your boob when he's old enough to go to preschool, then you're not a good enough mom, that's absurd. Parenting styles vary and I don't think one is better than the other, generally speaking. Obviously if you neglect your child, that's bad... but I think it's also bad to spend every second with your child. They need to learn to be independent.

  

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• Stackeye210 member

  

  May 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_lets-talk-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1b573969-87e7-4453-9582-e996ef89a0cdPost:d2d94651-5402-4113-b268-61f822fe1996">Re: Let's Talk About This</a>:
  [QUOTE]I think each mom can raise their child as she sees fit as long as it isn't isn't detrimental to the child's wellbeing.  I personally couldn't do it, but if it doesn't hurt anyone, who the heck cares?
  Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]
  
  So you don't think publishing your 3 year old sucking your b00b on TIME magazines cover is detrimental to their development and wellbeing?  Because I'm pretty sure it won't take long for that picture to get around and that kid to get judged on the daily.  EVEN IN PRESCHOOL.  Kids in preschool can be mean too. 

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• HappinessByTheKilowatt member

  

  May 2012

  I think the cover does nothing to help people's views on AP. That's unfortunate. The whole situation looks entirely inappropriate. The kid looks old, he's standing on a stool looking confused, she's looking defiant, there's absolutely nothing nurturing or caring about it at all. My understanding of AP is that it IS very nurturing and caring. While I probably won't choose it for myself, and tend to agree with the "if they are old enough to ask for it, they are too old" train of thought, I think the image is pretty insulting to those who do believe in that style and doesn't do much to further their ideals.

  meet annie! rescued 6.17.12

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• HappinessByTheKilowatt member

  

  May 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_lets-talk-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1b573969-87e7-4453-9582-e996ef89a0cdPost:72140613-9f4f-4b46-a78a-2212f624a7b7">Re: Let's Talk About This</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Let's Talk About This : So you don't think publishing your 3 year old sucking your b00b on TIME magazines cover is detrimental to their development and wellbeing?  Because I'm pretty sure it won't take long for that picture to get around and that kid to get judged on the daily.  EVEN IN PRESCHOOL.  Kids in preschool can be mean too. 
  Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]
  
  Dead on. Pretty selfish of the mom, IMO.

  meet annie! rescued 6.17.12

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• Stackeye210 member

  

  May 2012 edited May 2012

  If you want to not be judged for how you parent then you better not judge people for how they parent.  I feel like the title is judging parents who don't do what they do and I'm sure the article is about how they feel judge.  Pot/Kettle.......contradicting yourself much?  It's just ridiculous. 
  
  If you truly don't judge other people for how they parent then you just don't comment on it. 
  
  I judge the h*ll out of how some people parent, so I can take the judgements on me.  However, my judgements are not typically about how a child/parent interact, it's more about how the child acts and acts out. 

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• Urchin9

  

  May 2012

  I think it's only taking a look at extreme AP.
  
  I personally agree with most principals of AP, but they're not for everyone, and I don't think every aspect works for every family.
  
  For example, I requested a natural birth, but it didn't work out as planned. I breastfed my baby immediatly and held her skin-to-skin for the first few hours after birth. I loved babywearing...but my little-one is not a huge fan of it. I'll breastfeed for at least a year, but I'm not going to freak out if I have to stop earlier than that for whatever reason.
  
  I also occasionally co-sleep with my baby, but she actually prefers to sleep in her crib most of the time. She's liked it that way since she was two weeks old.
  
  Raising kids is not cut and dry. What works for me and my baby won't necessarily work for you and yours. We need to accept that and stop competing with one another...

  

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• ski2play member

  

  May 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_lets-talk-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1b573969-87e7-4453-9582-e996ef89a0cdPost:f90e066c-792e-42da-8c5c-f0d003b32575">Re: Let's Talk About This (Potentially NSFW)</a>:
  [QUOTE]I just added Potentailly NSFW in the title. I realize no one should be skeeved out by side boob, but some people may frown upon it. ITA with Anna.<strong> Instead of competing over which parenting style is better focus on your kids and your own lives. Everyone loses when we're all paying attention to what other people are doing and not paying enough attention in our own lives.</strong> DJ like I said I didn't read the article, just saw this one about the cover so I can't speak to what's actually in the magazine.
  Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]
  
  Well said MK.  Each family unit has to make the decisions that will feel right within their family.  I do not feel that any one parenting style creates the ultimately well adjusted child who grows into the "perfect adult".   Instead, I belive, the mix of the family, immediate and extended along with the community shapes how a child develops.  A child needs security to foster it's proper growth, by security, I am not talking money, but rather, a stable environment, food, happy times, chances to learn, and to know they are loved and wanted.

  

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• jemmini6 member

  

  May 2012

  This reminds me of the kid in Game of Thrones who was like 8 and still breastfeeding.  LOL.

  
  

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• angelstar975 member

  

  May 2012

  In Response to Re:Let's Talk About This Potentially NSFW:[QUOTE]This reminds me of the kid in Game of Thrones who was like 8 and still breastfeeding.nbsp; LOL. Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]
  
  I saw a documentary on that. That's just gross to me.

  

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• mkrupar member

  

  May 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_lets-talk-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1b573969-87e7-4453-9582-e996ef89a0cdPost:72140613-9f4f-4b46-a78a-2212f624a7b7">Re: Let's Talk About This</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Let's Talk About This : So you don't think publishing your 3 year old sucking your b00b on TIME magazines cover is detrimental to their development and wellbeing?  Because I'm pretty sure it won't take long for that picture to get around and that kid to get judged on the daily.  EVEN IN PRESCHOOL.  Kids in preschool can be mean too. 
  Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]
  
  This is another point to make. Does attachment parenting cause "mommy" issues later in life? I mean the kids are old enough to remember mom as a food source.

  
  

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• adamar15 member

  

  May 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_lets-talk-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1b573969-87e7-4453-9582-e996ef89a0cdPost:0bd13c50-6146-41e5-b65a-f2ab2b45bf19">Re: Let's Talk About This</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Let's Talk About This : This is another point to make. Does attachment parenting cause "mommy" issues later in life?<strong> I mean the kids are old enough to remember mom as a food source.
  </strong>Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]
  
  I don't necessarily think that's a big deal.  Older siblings see their younger siblings breastfeed all the time. 

  
  
  "Halloween may have loose women scantily clad...
  But Christmas has a pregnant virgin.
  
  Way cooler." - anna.oskar

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• HappinessByTheKilowatt member

  

  May 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_lets-talk-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1b573969-87e7-4453-9582-e996ef89a0cdPost:c7ed451d-1c83-4e7d-b041-69a215780990">Re: Let's Talk About This</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Let's Talk About This : I don't necessarily think that's a big deal.  Older siblings see their younger siblings breastfeed all the time. 
  Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]
  
  I think it depends on perspective. It doesn't bother me to see people breastfeeding, but I wouldn't want to remember feeding on my mom. Personal feeling though.

  meet annie! rescued 6.17.12

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• sarabellam member

  

  May 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_lets-talk-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1b573969-87e7-4453-9582-e996ef89a0cdPost:eca881eb-066a-4c49-b42e-36feb537958f">Re: Let's Talk About This (Potentially NSFW)</a>:
  [QUOTE] Raising kids is not cut and dry. What works for me and my baby won't necessarily work for you and yours. We need to accept that and stop competing with one another...
  Posted by Urchin9[/QUOTE]
  This, times a zillion. Let me add that what works for me and my first baby might not work for me and my second baby.

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• Stackeye210 member

  

  May 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_lets-talk-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1b573969-87e7-4453-9582-e996ef89a0cdPost:eca881eb-066a-4c49-b42e-36feb537958f">Re: Let's Talk About This (Potentially NSFW)</a>:
  [QUOTE]I think it's only taking a look at extreme AP. I personally agree with most principals of AP, but they're not for everyone, and I don't think every aspect works for every family. For example, I requested a natural birth, but it didn't work out as planned. I breastfed my baby immediatly and held her skin-to-skin for the first few hours after birth. I loved babywearing...but my little-one is not a huge fan of it. I'll breastfeed for at least a year, but I'm not going to freak out if I have to stop earlier than that for whatever reason. I also occasionally co-sleep with my baby, but she actually prefers to sleep in her crib most of the time. She's liked it that way since she was two weeks old. <strong>Raising kids is not cut and dry. What works for me and my baby won't necessarily work for you and yours. We need to accept that and stop competing with one another...</strong>
  Posted by Urchin9[/QUOTE]
  
  This is the bottom line, or at least it <em>should</em> be the bottom line.  But you get extremes on both sides of the spectrum that make everyone look crazy. 
  
  If there was one thing that should change about society is it's views on breastfeeding in public and choosing not to breastfeed.  I think either thing should not be looked down upon or judged. 
  
  I did not breastfeed, I didn't even entertain the idea, but I have a specific reason why I didn't and I don't need to answer to anyone about that, nor should I be judged at any point.  I did what was best for my child.  

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• mkrupar member

  

  May 2012

  That's a good point Adamar. I just wonder if attachment parenting is more beneficial to the parent or the child. I mean there are mom's in this world that just.can't.let.go. And it's usually because THEY don't want to, not because a child/teen/grown ass adult doesn't want to.

  
  

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• ski2play member

  

  May 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_lets-talk-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1b573969-87e7-4453-9582-e996ef89a0cdPost:18c3a401-296a-4126-a6d1-4261f59556b1">Re: Let's Talk About This (Potentially NSFW)</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Let's Talk About This (Potentially NSFW) : This, times a zillion. Let me add that what works for me and my first baby might not work for me and my second baby.
  Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]
  
  
  You can say that again Sara! 

  

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• midgetthemighty

  

  May 2012 edited May 2012

  We're not clones or robots so what works for one family unit will not work for another. Even within each style of parenting there will be differences. It's just bound to happen. Even if your plan is to do a certain thing, it most likely will not follow your exact plan. That's life. You have to roll with it.
  
  Personally, AP is a little much for me but I don't really care if others chose that path or not. It's what works for them.

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• jemmini6 member

  

  May 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_lets-talk-about-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1b573969-87e7-4453-9582-e996ef89a0cdPost:62854762-63ca-41a2-9798-5ac367f1d583">Re:Let's Talk About This Potentially NSFW</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Let's Talk About This Potentially NSFW: I saw a documentary on that. That's just gross to me.
  Posted by angelstar975[/QUOTE]
  
  Yeah.  Of course it's just a show, but still, it's weird.  When they can unhook your bra themselves, I think it's time to stop.

  
  

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