money dance

stantokm · January 2013

I hate the idea of anyone paying to dance with me and my fiance, but I especially hate the idea of not being able to avoid dancing with people who I don't like. I have this one socially awkward "uncle" who thinks it's appropriate to ask me about me about my sex life and wouldn't let up when his ex-BIL and I tried to politely steer him away from the topic when we were in the church vestibule at another wedding. I have to invite him to mine and I wouldn't be able to avoid him if there was a money dance.

harper0813 · January 2013

The Polish side of my family does it in superpolish Central WI. I've seen it at every wedding on that side of the family. I am not a fan, and my dad is adamant that we do it at our wedding. I told him that I am not comfortable doing that. He's going on and on about tradition... but he's not even Polish. My mom is. I told him he can give me a dollar or fifty during our fatherdaughter dance, though. That's fine. : kidding.

KaySea6213 · January 2013

This is pretty common where I'm from in Michigan. It's called the Dollar Dance here. The bride and the groom stand on the dance floor while the maid of honor and the best man collect the money. Guests pay a dollar and dance with their chose of the bride or groom.

I've always thought it was sweet because it allowed time for the bride and the groom to have special little moments with many people. I also think it's a great time for photo opportunities with your guests. I have two wonderful photos as guests during someone's dollar dance and it made me feel very special.

lcobb517 · January 2013

I would say I've seen a dollar dance at about half the weddings I've been to. The first time I saw it I was mortified, but it does give everyone a chance to see the bride and groom and chat for a minute. It's a little weird, but it seems to be all in good fun and much better than just sitting a pickle jar next to your card box begging for loose change. It's really awkward if it's a dry wedding or open bar and I only have the $20 I got from the ATM because no one told me about the bar situation, because the only thing more tacky than a dollar dance is asking the best man for change before you dance with the groom! I think a "well-wishes" dance is a great idea and as a guest I would be a lot more comfortable with that.

Simply Fated · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_money-dance-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:83f60e63-73b6-4da2-a0e8-23b367305b56Post:0d68561c-5674-46bc-8147-6cd831e161c5">Re: money dance</a>:
[QUOTE]I would say I've seen a dollar dance at about half the weddings I've been to. The first time I saw it I was mortified, <strong>but it does give everyone a chance to see the bride and groom and chat for a minute.</strong> It's a little weird, but it seems to be all in good fun and much better than just sitting a pickle jar next to your card box begging for loose change. It's really awkward if it's a dry wedding or open bar and I only have the $20 I got from the ATM because no one told me about the bar situation, because the only thing more tacky than a dollar dance is asking the best man for change before you dance with the groom! I think a "well-wishes" dance is a great idea and as a guest I would be a lot more comfortable with that.
Posted by lcobb517[/QUOTE]
They need to pay the bride to dance with them for this to happen?

MsYeck · January 2013

It is really common in Nebraska except we call it the dollar dance. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding that didn't do it. At my brothers wedding my grandma totally monopolized it but it was kind of cute.

Simply Fated · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_money-dance-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:83f60e63-73b6-4da2-a0e8-23b367305b56Post:34ef8bf0-6491-4374-90a3-fa4a5fecb0af">Re: money dance</a>:
[QUOTE]Majority of my family's weddings had the dollar dance.I really didn't like the idea of dancing with all of those people, sweating so much, asking people for money, and having to untie the knots people make in the money. And thanks to theknot, I can explain to people how rude it really is and can give people references to the knot about the topic. <strong>Me being the reference was not good enough, but strangers on the internet on why I don't want to is perfectly fine.</strong>
Posted by snippet17[/QUOTE]
LOL I was in a similar situation over the summer. I tried to explain something to someone... they didn't believe me, but when i showed them comments online it was like a lightbulb went on.

honeyjade22 · January 2013

Whats to say thats already been said. I think its tacky. If guests want to give you money, they will give it to you in a card.

ridedatbike · January 2013

I personally like better the way its done where I live. When the bride and groom do their first dance guest take it upon themselves to give money. Its not a specific money dance and the bride and groom.only dance with eachother. Also the guests start it its never planned ahead of time.

lauralaur · January 2013

H's friend did it at his wedding. It was mostly awkward for awhile because everyone was paying to dance with the bride and no one was dancing with the groom. I finally gave H a dollar to go dance with his friend, I was starting to feel bad for him.

I have two thoughts on the subject:

1. For that wedding, we paid to fly across the country, we paid for a rental car, we paid for a hotel, we paid for a tux (H was best man), we paid for a gift, we paid for drinks because it was a cash bar. No, I am not paying a dollar to dance with you, I've already spent quite a bit here.

2. If it really takes the whole family, the money is to help the couple get started blah blah blah I really don't see why a card does not suffice. It's so much less showy.

Dreamergirl8812 · January 2013

I'm officially bringing a rape whistle to my wedding.

Pookieson · January 2013

thanks for all of the input ladies. I'm going to run some ideas by FI, see if maybe we can just avoid it all together, make grandma happy somewhere else...I don't know. I'm gonna run the "well-wishes" by her...she what she thinks.

Thanks!

rajahmd · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_money-dance-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:83f60e63-73b6-4da2-a0e8-23b367305b56Post:9a102106-4a79-4efb-9c39-7def410a28a1">Re: money dance</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks for all of the input ladies. I'm going to run some ideas by FI, see if maybe we can just avoid it all together, make grandma happy somewhere else...I don't know. I'm gonna run the "well-wishes" by her...she what she thinks. Thanks!
Posted by Shannon1401[/QUOTE]

<div>Welcome! Glad we could help. Come back and let us know what you end up deciding to do. We love to hear updates.</div>

ashleestadt · January 2013

I know that in some cultures it's customary to throw money at the bride and groom while they're dancing; dollar dances are a different thing and I think they're seen more at weddings (at least in the U.S.) regardless of tradition. I'm not a fan of either unless it's part of your culture, due to reasons already stated by most on here: it's tacky to ask for more money when guests already bought you a gift, etc.

libby18bell · January 2013

Just curious to those of you that say that cultural things are rude, how do you explain relgious ceremonies. My FI and I are Catholic and having a full mass, but the majority of our guests aren't religious or even Catholic, should our traditions be set aside to appease everyone?

money dance

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