not really sure please help!!

chaumet · June 2010

wow.... i understand what you mean. i think that if you just got married at the courthouse its considered a "real wedding". one of my friends did that because they just wanted to be married but couldn't afford it yet and will have the wedding next year. so you are officially married, just celebrating with everyone later. just downplay the gift giving. i don't think you should register though, just let people give you gifts if they decide to. and then if not its ok

thesuninherhead · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:34414f20-7869-4067-89c6-dcd14abeb5c8">Re: not really sure please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: not really sure please help!! : I'VE GOT IT! The reason for the rushed wedding and the bad spelling. Mail order bride. Has to be.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]
 If she were a mail order bride, she'd be divorcing after two years rather than do-over-ing, I'm afraid. Like the others, I remain perplexed and confused by why one would proceed with the signing of the marriage document in these circumstances.

quotequeen · June 2010

If the date you had chosen was SO important to you that you had to go ahead and get married that day, then why on earth would you now pretend it didn't happen and not celebrate it at all?

Theresa626 · June 2010

You're not going to like the responses on this board. But, I think what you're doing is fine especially because you are not lying to anyone. If someone wants to throw you a bridal shower, great. But don't throw one for yourself. As far as the registry, sure create one. It's a convenience to your guests. Just don't put it on the invites. If they want to get you a gift, they'll have that convenience and if they don't want to get one, fine. Call your wedding a vow renewal so people don't get confused. I think any excuse to throw a wonderful party is a good excuse and that celebrating a marriage is also a great excuse to throw a party. I think people will be happy to come to a wedding reception for you. People like getting free food and alcohol. Your family and friends are not going to judge you.

missy68 · June 2010

She is giving my name a bad reputation....... grammar-wise, and idea-wise. Sigh.

arv266 · June 2010

To answer your question... yes, it would be beyond rude to register for gifts. Actually, rude isn't the word, more like tacky and classless.

I can understand wanting to wear a nice dress and having a big day but the fact remains that after you got married in the courthouse you had a small party to celebrate, and at that time people got together and gave you gifts. Not celebrating your anniversary doesn't make your marriage go away. Not changing your name doesn't make your marriage go away.

I think it is great that you can have the celebration that you have wanted, but I think its a little bit sad that you feel you can erase the past. If you don't care what other people think, then by all means go ahead and register. If you'd like to have some class and dignity stop calling this your real marriage, accept that you are married, and plan a great party celebrating your anniversary.

momofayden · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:4acf3c58-8ddc-4ab9-9ee1-bed3575d79c6">Re: not really sure please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]ok i dont want to offend people my bestfriend got married in a courthouse and that was hre wedding thats how she wanted it and im fine with that.. but for me and my husband we do not consider that our real wedding and we do not consider this a vow renewal.. this is our wedding
Posted by melissaanne07[/QUOTE]

So would you have 2 real wedding dates? You wanted the original date as your wedding date hence the courthouse wedding. so that is your real wedding. This would be a vow renewal unless you are going to get divorced between now and your your second real wedding date.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2010

You are an offense to all the people who consider their courthouse wedding their "real wedding" and never have a big princess party. You don't think being legally bound to your husband by the state and federal government is good enough? It doesn't count unless there is cake involved? How incredibly self-centered.

I wish you would have come back to explain why on earth you actually got married, rather than pushing back the wedding.

wadingmoose · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:4acf3c58-8ddc-4ab9-9ee1-bed3575d79c6">Re: not really sure please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]ok i dont want to offend people my bestfriend got married in a courthouse and that was hre wedding thats how she wanted it and im fine with that.. but for me and my husband we do not consider that our real wedding and we do not consider this a vow renewal.. this is our wedding
Posted by melissaanne07[/QUOTE]

Awesome. I like how your mind works.

Mainly because this means that I can just say that I don't consider murder to be a crime and voila, murder is not a crime. I also think that bank robbery is not a crime. I have some time at lunch. I'm gonna go test this theory.

I'm not sure when I'll be back with the results though.

allisong23 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:1e582aaa-1c1f-4f5a-8ea2-fb4fe2cb5278">Re: not really sure please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]wow rude much people i was asking an opinion not for people to not tell me im a bride and that i lready had my real wedding .. i am a bride and i am haveing my real wedding this cmoing up june iv always got helpful answers on here so thought id try again but apparently wrong idea
Posted by melissaanne07[/QUOTE]

No, you are a wife. You are married.I really want to take a red pen out and correct the multitude of spelling and grammatical errors in your post. Do you really think that the abbreviation for "I have" is "iv"?

StephHalm · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-sure-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ebffa7d-d10f-44ff-8ee9-35d783c9a772Post:46130272-b5f4-4928-901a-684dbd63706c">not really sure please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]When my husband and i got engaged in 2007 we set our weddindate for june 2009 when it started to get closer we realized that was a horrible time we were not going to be able to afford it but we didnt want to change the date of when we got married so we got married in the court house then has a little party the following weekend told people not to bing gifts or anything cuzz we were going to have a real wedding and reception in 2 years when we could afford it but people brought gifts anyways.. so were not sure what to do is it rude to register and have a bridal shower and stuff when some people already got us wedding gifts??
Posted by melissaanne07[/QUOTE]

You say you dont want to count the years you have already been married, but you didn't want to give up the date you had picked. Oxymoron much? If you were so set on the date, then how can you say you don't count the time you've been married? Just because you didn't have a dream wedding with a big part and lots of people like you might want doesn't mean you are not married. If you wanted the "Real wedding" then you should have waited. You don't get both. I would be offended if someone I was friends with asked me to buy them gifts or throw a shower after being married for more than a year.

not really sure please help!!

Re: not really sure please help!!

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