Knottie of the Week - sultryzulu

TysWife2Be · July 2012

1. First Name & Fiance's First Name

2. Your Birthday & Age and Fiance's Birthday and Age

3. City Born In?

4. City Live in?

5. Where did you go to college?

6. What was your major?

7. What is your current job?

8. What is your dream job?

9. How did you and your fiance meet?

10. When did you get engaged and how did he do it??

11. When is the Wedding Day?

12. Where is the ceremony and reception?

13. What are your wedding colors?

14. Where are you honeymooning?

15. Favorite wedding vendor so far?

16. Biggest wedding splurge?

17. What is something you wish you could have at the wedding but don't?

18. Another knottie wedding you'd like to attend?

19. Favorite book?

20. Favorite movie?

21. Favorite tv show?

22. Favorite wedding dress designer?

23. Any advice you can give?

24. Anything you wish you could change about your wedding?

25. Share something about yourself!

[Deleted User] · July 2012

oh my days! how'd I get called down to the office?

lawd. okay, lemme go cut n' paste, i'll be right back..........

[Deleted User] · July 2012

don't hate me because I'm verbal

1. First Name & Fiance's First Name: Bongi and Steve

2. Your Birthday & Age and Fiance's Birthday and Age lucky sevens (7/7 – me) Christmas Eve (12/24 – he). Yeah he gets beat for the combo gift all the time. lol.

3. City Born In? London, England

4. City Live in? Northern, NJ.   Iownknowyalllikethat!.org Lol.

5. Where did you go to college? Nobody’s ever heard of it, it’s a teeny private school named Fairleigh Dickinson located in the entertainment capital of the world: Teaneck, N.J.

6. What was your major? You can’t tell from the way I run this mouf? Communications, back in the day when we thought Radio would last forever. Is there anybody here older than me, do ya’ll even have radios?

7. What is your current job? Regulatory Insurance Licensing Analyst. Yeah try to contain your jealousy.

8. What is your dream job? 3 way tie:   Alex Trebek’s job, except without that smug thing he does. Believe it or not Wedding Planner, but stressed people stress me sooo there’s that. Third, commercial pilot. Just because I think I’d be cool den a mugg to have somebody ask to see the Captain and be able to go: you’re lookin at her. Plus I’ve always wanted to say some real crazy shyt over the p.a. system, like to the lady with the screaming baby: it helps if you rock and walk, all other passengers please stand down and keep the aisles clear.

9. How did you and your fiance meet?   Online. In his profile, he used the term *grammar nerd* (how I describe myself) and then when I heard his voice for the first time (he’s a baritone) I knew I was dead.

10. When did you get engaged and how did he do it?? This our 2^nd bite at this particular apple. The weird thing is I don’t remember the specific date of either engagement but the general time period. Picture it, it’s summer 2010. He’s standing in my bedroom and picks up a piece of costume jewelry lying on my dresser and asks why I never wear it. I say it’s too big hun. He says try it on. I say take my word for it, it doesn’t fit, see? (as I show him that it swims around my fattest knuckle) he says you’re not gonna get it fixed? Now I’m getting annoyed that he cares way too much about something he ordinarily would’ve let go of long before. I say you can’t size costume jewelry, it’s not real metal. He says then what’d you buy it for? I say it was pretty and shiny and it cost four dollars, who walks away from something like that? All of a sudden his face relaxes, he reaches into his pocket and goes, why don’t we see if this one fits any better? The room went all pink and fuzzy andthenIflatlined. That was time #1. We were engaged for 6 months when I called the wedding off. We stayed broken up for nearly a year then got back together in November 2011 (11/11/06 is the date we met and 11/11/11 was our original wedding date). Time #2: we’d just woken up and he was talking. It was quiet and casual and intimate, he just stopped in the middle of his sentence and said will you marry me for real this time? I said absolutely, just as soon as you brush your teeth.

11. When is the Wedding Day? June 8, 2013

12. Where is the ceremony and reception? Ceremony’s at my church. (I think I heard our deacon say) it’s the largest R.C. cathedral in N.J., my cue to give em what they came for lol.   Reception is at a historic Women’s Club - our guest list is under 80 ppl (says me).

13. What are your wedding colors? Navy, Fuchsia, Blush Pink or to hear Morgan’s fancyass tell it: cobalt and raspberry. Lol.

14. Where are you honeymooning? Haven’t made the plans yet but mini mooning in Playa del Carmen Mexico and mooning mooning in Zimbali, South Africa but that flight is not a game so we’ll see.

15. Favorite wedding vendor so far? Photographer, who is the moon, the sun and the stars, just an all around sweetheart of a human being.

16. Biggest wedding splurge? It’s definitely the dress. Plan on recouping though, that girl is leaving my closet the minute the dry cleaner’s done. Listing her for sale right before the wedding.

17. What is something you wish you could have at the wedding but don't?   My parents.

18. Another knottie wedding you'd like to attend? All of em, see response #8b. I heart weddings so if you gone be grown and post your ceremony location, don’t be shocked to see this <---- here face in the crowd, Mery!!

19. Favorite book? Tie between Ken Follett’s Pillars of the Earth and Sapphire’s Push (the book that the movie Precious was based on) but by favorite I don’t necessarily mean most enjoyable, I mean most memorable.

20. Favorite movie? Another tie: The Notebook/Color Purple/Shawshank.

21. Favorite tv show? Of all time? probably Frasier. Now it’s Modern Family and Boardwalk Empire

22. Favorite wedding dress designer? Monique Lhullier and Ines di Santo. Can’t rep *my* designer (tornai) because she’s notorious for a style the council and I call blingedoutstripperfairy. This pattern was a subdued moment for her because my dress has no nekkid ways.

23. Any advice you can give? I’m not qualified as yet but about relationships in general, choose your battles wisely and even then work on your timing and delivery. This sounded archaic as hell when I was younger but it has been true in every long lived marriage I’ve (personally) ever seen: marry a man who loves you more than you love him. Not that you don’t love him but, Ephesians 5:25 and/or Cliff and Claire Huxtable, circa 1989. that is all. lol.

24. Anything you wish you could change about your wedding? The cost. We are and continue to be blessed and he cooperates with all my plotting and planning BUT in the grand scheme of things where “things” = children to educate, a mortgage with 50-leven remaining payments and my general headshakey attitude about depreciating assets, it’s one day. memorable doesn’t have to equal expensive.

25. Share something about yourself! Quirky? I’ve got a superhighpowered snout, smell is the first thing I notice about anything/anyone. My food cannot touch and in order to avoid this calamity I’ll turn the plate to reach something on the other side of it, as opposed to reaching over with my utensils. I make my kidneys work harder than they should because I hate to pee (don’t bother, I don’t know why either). Lifetime movieish something? Eek. Get some snacks, this’ll take a minute. Okay #17. My folks are sociopaths. Hey there’s a sentence you don’t hear everyday. Bwah. Not in a natural-born-killers kind of way. More specifically, my mom is on the low end of the sociopathic spectrum, my dad is the pacifist who justifies her behavior. Anyway, it’s not exclusive to me but after a lifetime of salty mess and greazy talk, one day I was like you know what ya’ll, happiness is a choice, with all due respect you had the first 40 years, these here next 40, are for me. deuces mah dudes. I went from being joy luck club dutiful to changing my phone number and giving them the parameters under which they could see/contact their only grand (full access as long as it didn’t interfere with bedtime/homework). Their response was to file for sole custody (b/c they weren’t used to me setting any parameters). The idea of her being in the emotional position of feeling like she had to choose between us had me bent at a 90 degree angle. 1 Kings 3:16. It was the first time I understood that scripture for real. Day of our first hearing consisted of the judge spanking. that. ass. They lost the bid for custody but under the law, she couldn’t deny them their entitlement to visitation. Told em what she thought if them as people (no bueno) and said she would’ve prevented visitation of she legally could have but did the next best thing and ordered them to reimburse 10 grand in my attorneys’ fees. They don’t handle *defeat* well at all. that’s important to remember for this here next paragraph.

But wait, if you act now, we’ll throw in this special bonus gift: November 2011. DYFS calls me at work. Hi there, we’re investigating allegations that twirlygirl is being sexually abused so hey howsabout we stop by the house tonight for a chat? Words fail (and you know how hard that is for me lol). Thought bubble: WHAT? this couldn’t be true, could it?? if it is Dear God my poor baby. Were there signs I missed? And because I missed them it changed her forever?? when? how? who? God. Help. Him. WHO?

Lemme just interrupt our narrative to say that in IRL, about my child, I’m the most stranger-dangery person you’ll ever meet. I wouldn’t allow her to put her name on the school sweatshirt we just ordered because it also has the name of her school on it. She’s not allowed to operate the stove without one of us in the kitchen, walk into a corner store, have facebook/ email or appear in her summer camp’s marketing photo brochure, not n’air wunna those. Steve’s always saying I’ve gotta give her some independence and breathing room and my answer to him is always the same: you used to be a cop, tell me what day of the week predators have off? point is you could’ve knocked me over with a feather if this had been happening to my kid.

The investigation lasted until May 11, 2012. Caseworker, social worker, agency and the prosecutor’s office all said, on paper, GTFOHWTBS, we’re busy with families where there is actually a child at risk and a need for our services. The kicker is that filing false allegations is a crime, except when it comes to dyfs because as B and Tanya can attest to, advocacy on behalf of a child is encouraged and in order to continue encouraging it, the reporter is automatically exempt. There’s nothing in the system that addresses shady ass shade. If their shenanigans had been successful, if the abuse alleged was actually present, she would’ve been removed from home and very likely placed with them, without incurring legal bills and I’dve had to pay them child support, so they should’ve really started with this as a strategy. Devil may be a lie, but he’s no dummy.

I say stuff that belongs on cornymess.com all the time but two of my favorites are: “Can’t have testimony if you don’t have a test” and “Don’t tell God how mighty your storm is, tell the storm how mighty your God is” Somebody turn to your neighbor and say my God is mighty. Lol!!

Oh my *smooths skirt* who’s hungry?

HardyLove222 · July 2012

Lmbo! Girl you's a trip!

18. Another knottie wedding you'd like to attend? All of em, see response #8b. I heart weddings so if you gone be grown and post your ceremony location, don’t be shocked to see this <---- here face in the crowd, Mery!!

I'll keep the above in mind

Nice getting to know you a lil bit! Oh and you did not put your age

Oh and I LOVE the Notebook...I always cry at the end *sigh*

20pearls16 · July 2012

Hey B!!! My name sake on the board. Girl your last point made me feel like I was at work. I used to work in the sex abuse unit. I am glad things worked out in your favor. It is very hard to get out of the system once yu are in.

Your dream job should be a comedian because you are funny as hell. I always look forward to your posts and pics.

I too say "you can't have a testimony without a test." I always add you can't even spell it without using the word test! Must be a old head thing.

Congratulations on your wedding and glad to get to know you a little better.

rowenac82 · July 2012

"Don’t tell God how mighty your storm is, tell the storm how mighty your God is” This right here will have to be my mantra for the rest of 2012. Love it!

About your folks...yea they are something.

Thanks for sharing Bongi!

tirathemrs · July 2012

looks like somebody had a lot to say about themselves lol lol...im still reading lol

island07b2b · July 2012

Bongi nice to meet you. All I have to say is you need to write a book or a script. You are funny as heck!! LOL!

I love Pnini Tornai gowns but they burn your pocketbook something badly! You look fabulous though!!

So how did you make your way here from over the pond?

[Deleted User] · July 2012

@ kita - my favorite part is when she's going back to the hotel to talk to her fiance and noah goes you've got like a five second window until you do the next pain in the ass thing. wasnt hiding the #s, just forgot em lol - i'm 44, he's 53.

@ B - lol, you funny. I understand why the system works as it does but man it sucks from either perspective. Um, you gone miss keepin on calling me old, hear? lol! ah, it's a blessing, I just learned that a little wheezy is a who, not a what.

@ ro - girl it's never not worked for me.

@ tira - imma keep stealing chelsea's phrase b/c it keeps being applicable: girl, bye! i did ask you go get some snacks. lol.

MissusD1116 · July 2012

LMAO!!! Hilarious! Poor fiancé is all I can say...Love ya girl!!!!

[Deleted User] · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_knottie-of-the-week-sultryzulu?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:d6a35ca0-d607-44c0-9423-0d926d836513Post:f45110c0-22e3-46f6-a8fd-1a0f7eedbbf9">Re: Knottie of the Week - sultryzulu</a>:
[QUOTE]Bongi nice to meet you. All I have to say is you need to write a book or a script. You are funny as heck!! LOL! I love Pnini Tornai gowns but they burn your pocketbook something badly! You look fabulous though!! So how did you make your way here from over the pond?
Posted by island07b2b[/QUOTE]

hey 'lette! nice to meetchu too. naw girl, what I need to do is stay in my lane, I get all corny and technical if i try to write on demand. thanks for the biggup tho ;)

chile Pnina will burn a hole through your entire soul if you let her. mess up and leave outta there with one kidney. which is why I stalked my dress well before getting engaged. you know that moen commercial where the couple has hired an architect and the woman pulls a faucet outta her purse and tells him to build a house around that? that. didn't know anything else about my wedding, except what i was gonna wear. I also couldn't justify paying full price, found her on the web. my flubber would disagree with your compliment but both of us appreciate it nonetheless.

crossed the pond with the crazies as a baby and had a british accent all the way up until I was 12, when the puerto rican girls I went to school with um, *encouraged* me to lose it.

[Deleted User] · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_knottie-of-the-week-sultryzulu?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:d6a35ca0-d607-44c0-9423-0d926d836513Post:8b21a24e-4ffa-47ff-95ca-b49dcea8d4ae">Re: Knottie of the Week - sultryzulu</a>:
[QUOTE]LMAO!!! Hilarious! Poor fiancé is all I can say...Love ya girl!!!!
Posted by MissusD1116[/QUOTE]

Oh no. No ma'am pressed ham <--- help with it please? No, the reason I need ya'll in my life everyday is because I've got a 6 minute window before his eyes glaze over and he's out. If you met me in person you'd be like that's an imposter cause this heffa don't have nuthin to say.

shabuka1 · July 2012

Hey fellow New Jerseyian (sp) if that is even a word. I'm from Lawrencevile. Nice to officially meet you. You are too funny. I feel you on the dress thing though. Love Pnina, but that wasn't happening. Stil ended up spending a grip though on my dress. But congrats on the nuptials to be.

[Deleted User] · July 2012

hey shabuka! *waves*

girl you alllllllllll 'le way down nere. lol! south jersey/philly knotties were supposed to be GTG this past weekend, did ya'll get a chance to hang out? wait whuuut? you were at the 90 day mark a minute ago, time's flying like that???

spending a grip - i think it's regional, i've seen knotties on other boards get all huffy b/c they think nyc area brides are real huffy with theirs, like what the hell is so special about right here that a dress should cost in the 4, 5 figures. truthfully, nothing, but it's what the area dictates. anytime I come across somebody from round this way who did better than $2000 I think to myself, she did well for real.

thanks on the well wishes, appreciatecha!

CaseynMike · July 2012

My food cannot touch and in order to avoid this calamity I’ll turn the plate to reach something on the other side of it, as opposed to reaching over with my utensils.

omg I am the same way!! I absolutley loathe when my sweet potatoes taste like the juice from greens....grrrrr!! If mine is touching I will take that part off and throw it away...WOW!!

My God what a relationship you have with your parents. Sheesh.

[Deleted User] · July 2012

weirdisms are heredity girl, I was an adult before I found out that my uncle (whom I'd never met until that point) ate his food the exact same way. flavor mixes are a no-no but so are texture mixes - brownie a la mode? *vigorous headshake*

hell maybe they're my test. it takes more than blood to make a family chile.

pearls687 · July 2012

Like most of us here, I just luv, luv, luv you Bongi! You're my favorite kind of person (smart, wittty, and funny) and I've been stalking this board for your turn in the principal's office. lol Congrats on your upcoming nuptials and so nice to know more about you! Love that proposal story... y'all are too cute!

And BTW, Ms.Iownknowyalllikethat!.org, northern NJ ain't that big

so don't try to act like you don't know me when I show up at the the largest R.C. cathedral in N.J. on June 8, 2013. Heyyyyyy B! lol

So anyway, Im'a need you to move your date up so I can stop hanging around this board like a major loser trying to see y'all's wedding plans through. K? Thanks. lol

[Deleted User] · July 2012

ay T, psst....I just luv luv luv ya'll too, it's a bunch of fun when we're all giggling at the same thing ain't it though. thanks for the compliments girl, right backatcha!! speaking of giggling that there house is made of marble and granite, you can holler up in there if you wanna but you gone be ef hutton for the rest of the day. I beg your pardone! northern nj is so that big but I'm taking it on faith you don't know too many other Bongis, so i'm expecting ya'll.

yeah the thing is, i'm real clanish (with a C), so I need you all to stay in one place, whether it's here or facebook, wherever. you're talking to somebody who bought a wedding dress before knowing there'd be a wedding, you can miss me with characterizing yourself as a major loser. LOL

speaking of dates that wedding, it's looking real liquid, T, God has not blessed me with the spirit of patience and your boy needs a neurologist because he's hanging on my one good nerve.

mind rewind - you (points at T) irl email address please, actually anybody who wants to gab it up about anything or nothing. i'm bzungu@ambac.com. IT dept is coming for me I just know it!!

thedivav · July 2012

Sultry you are a mess girl lol

love it....

great to meet you....

i love this right here

"I say stuff that belongs on cornymess.com all the time but two of my favorites are: “Can’t have testimony if you don’t have a test” and “Don’t tell God how mighty your storm is, tell the storm how mighty your God is” Somebody turn to your neighbor and say my God is mighty. Lol!"

loves it... glad to hear things worked out for the good with your daughter

20pearls16 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_knottie-of-the-week-sultryzulu?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:d6a35ca0-d607-44c0-9423-0d926d836513Post:0c465a54-3799-4455-865a-73ae6e8534de">Re: Knottie of the Week - sultryzulu</a>:
[QUOTE]@. @ B - lol, you funny. I understand why the system works as it does but man it sucks from either perspective. Um, you gone miss keepin on calling me old, hear? lol! ah, it's a blessing, I just learned that a little wheezy is a who, not a what.
Posted by sultryzulu[/QUOTE]
<div>CTHU! I'm a old head to (at least for this board) so i use the term as a term of endearment. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-kiss.gif" border="0" alt="Kiss" title="Kiss" /></div>

[Deleted User] · July 2012

hey V, I'm so glad that it worked out too. even more glad that you prayed up and stayed up with us while going through such a tough time. you not strong, you the stremf. nice to meetcha too

@ B - gigglenodding. this i know. hey i should keep things in perspective, getting older beats the alternative right?

keysmit · July 2012

Yayy on being knottie of the week....

“Can’t have testimony if you don’t have a test” and “Don’t tell God how mighty your storm is, tell the storm how mighty your God is” Preach preacher... LOL.. Girl i love this..

Hey Bongi... "waves hands" I'm glad we got the chance to get to know more about you, i def look forward to your post.. you really have a great personality and sense of humor... Love it..
and girl i am not madd at you about that stranger danger stuff tooo.. people out here are craaaazzzyyy...

i love your proposal story, it was soo cute..well that just let you know, since you are on round 2 that Steve is meant to be in your life and it may not have been the right time before but it is now... So happy for you... And looking forward to more chats with ya..

if my wed date wasn't so close i would be sitting up at the church like hey girl.. LOL..

and LOL to your response: ........". If you met me in person you'd be like that's an imposter cause this heffa don't have nuthin to say. " LMAO.. LOL..

Key

CaseynMike · July 2012

Ha ha ha you like my phrase and it just no ma'am PRESS ham! Lmbo

In Response to Re:Knottie of the Week sultryzulu:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Knottie of the Week sultryzulu:LMAO!!! Hilarious! Poor fianceacute; is all I can say...Love ya girl!!!!Posted by MissusD1116Oh no.nbsp; No ma'am pressed ham lt; help with it please?nbsp;nbsp; No, the reason I need ya'll in my life everyday is because I've got a 6 minute window before his eyes glaze over and he's out.nbsp; If you met me in person you'd be like that's an imposter cause this heffa don't have nuthin to say.nbsp; Posted by sultryzulu[/QUOTE]

[Deleted User] · July 2012

@ key - girl you can c'mon, we having brunch the next morning and all that, make a touristy trip out of it, there isn't anything like nyc in the summertime.

it's great getting to know all you too, all the weddingy stuff aside, I really do enjoy having internet fellowship. i think i need it. lol.

and LOL to your response: ........". If you met me in person you'd be like that's an imposter cause this heffa don't have nuthin to say. " LMAO.. LOL..

it's weird but I hate to talk but love to write.

@ case - which begs the question - what the hell is press ham? stop it. phonicsandpork.org

CaseynMike · July 2012

lmbo I have no idea...I got it from my sister...she says that when someone should be doing something else instead of the foolery they are doing at the moment

footballwife77 · July 2012

OK, so what does "bongi" mean, how were you named? I know you said it was a "feeling" or something in another thread. Is it from a different language.

***i'm kinda snickering at your british accent***

[Deleted User] · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_knottie-of-the-week-sultryzulu?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:d6a35ca0-d607-44c0-9423-0d926d836513Post:b271ae93-d6c5-4b41-bbf2-795df6a8fdc2">Re: Knottie of the Week - sultryzulu</a>:
[QUOTE]OK, so what does "bongi" mean, how were you named? I know you said it was a "feeling" or something in another thread. Is it from a different language. ***i'm kinda snickering at your british accent***
Posted by footballwife77[/QUOTE]

tash I tell ya sis, you keep me entertained whether I wanna be or not!

yes, it's a sentiment in zulu (i'm south african) the sentiment is gratitude. whole meaning is we are thankful, it's tradition to name your firstborn an expression of thanks to God. English translation would be Grace, as in to saying grace. Twirlygirl's first name means home, which she really doesn't appreciate, but fully expressed it's: place where my heart is housed. still, she thinks I should've gone with Sabrina, but she couldn't talk then so....

yeah *snickering* is a genteel euphamism for how my puerto rican schoolmates reacted to it.

tirathemrs · July 2012

ok BONGI i read your bio and i was just about to ask what does you name mean and how did you decide to go from London to NJ that was a helluva trip honey lol

[Deleted User] · July 2012

lol tira. girl ya'll got to be outta questions, there isn't anything I didn't tayle. LOL!!

TL25 · July 2012

Nobody’s ever heard of it, it’s a teeny private school named Fairleigh Dickinson located in the entertainment capital of the world: Teaneck, N.J.-Stop it Sultry you know dam well my Jerssey ass knows where FDU is!
Christmas Eve (12/24 – he). Yeah he gets beat for the combo gift all the time. lol.-That's my Aunts bday! My mom's is the 14th along with my Aunts n my mom be luck if she get a gift. N I got a miiloion friends bday in Dec too all they get is a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! lol
Time #2: we’d just woken up and he was talking. It was quiet and casual and intimate, he just stopped in the middle of his sentence and said will you marry me for real this time? I said absolutely, just as soon as you brush your teeth. LMAO. So, were you given the same ring, no ring, new ring- you skipped that part.
Favorite tv show? Now it’s Modern Family and Boardwalk Empire- Yup mine and his!
Quirky? I’ve got a superhighpowered snout, smell is the first thing I notice about anything/anyone. Me too! I thought I was the only one. FI be like dam you always smelling something lol. My 2 yr old hates it too cuz I be finding out he missed the potty a sec after it shoots out his behind lol.

M1ssJ · July 2012

Lit Review> sultry's post > dissertation I just read

Thanks for sharing hun. Fly down to FL for my wedding!

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