AYG

rhodesign · December 2010

*raises hand*
I have a question (just catching up on the last 4 pages)

Whoever commented (I think CCF?) that their co-worker calls their kid gordito...I'm guessing with the Spanish that she's Hispanic of some sort? My friend in college said that her parents called her that all the time--gordita or fatty--and it didn't bother her because culturally (she's Mexican) it was acceptable and endearing (like calling a kid red or blondie according to hair color, etc.) and not negative. I know to the rest of us it sounds mean, but perhaps it's more innocent than we think.

anna.oskar · December 2010

Is this turning into a lovefest?

If so.. i love you all... except those of you that i think are fartfaces

K&J64 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:dd86e37a-a463-4463-98ec-937727c4aa1c">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]*raises hand* I have a question (just catching up on the last 4 pages) Whoever commented (I think CCF?) that their co-worker calls their kid gordito...I'm guessing with the Spanish that she's Hispanic of some sort? My friend in college said that her parents called her that all the time--gordita or fatty--and it didn't bother her because culturally (she's Mexican) it was acceptable and endearing (like calling a kid red or blondie according to hair color, etc.) and not negative. I know to the rest of us it sounds mean, but perhaps it's more innocent than we think.
Posted by rhodesign[/QUOTE]

This. In some Hispanic cultures and even some Italians, it's considered bad luck to call your child "pretty" or "skinny" so you say the opposite. My babysitter growing up was an Italian immigrant and she used to look and me and say "faccia brutta!" which means ugly face, she was actually telling me I was cute. Or my FI's Nonna called her "fea" which is ugly in Spanish which was her calling her beautiful. Her family also thinks calling a baby fat is a compliment, that they're healthy and well taken care of. I know it sounds weird, but it's a cultural thing.

ETA: Either that or my babysitter thought I was busted.

LessThanZero · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:c20ed052-f451-4306-a4e7-cf0bef35729f">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : They can be sad, have the blues, whatever, but to me depression is an entirely different thing. Because being depressed doesn't always mean being sad.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

I'm honestly terrible at explaining what I'm trying to say, so I'm just going to drop this altogether. I'm an idiot. : )

Nebb · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:1f263074-6b6a-4f20-a281-499611ce17ad">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]Is this turning into a lovefest? If so.. i love you all... except those of you that i think are fartfaces
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

you mean me dont you. I cant help my face.

K&J64 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:c20ed052-f451-4306-a4e7-cf0bef35729f">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : They can be sad, have the blues, whatever, but to me depression is an entirely different thing. Because being depressed doesn't always mean being sad.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

I'm going to agree with LTZ on this one. Depressed does not only mean suffering from depression. It has multiple definitions.

BecW2be · December 2010

As my kids get older, I say mean things jokingly. Like if one says, "My toe hurts." I'll say, "Well, and you're ugly, too." and we laugh it off. From the outside, seeing just this behavior, people could think I'm being cruel, but we talk about how smart and funny and pretty she is all the time, so it's like saying the most opposite thing. Like calling a bald man Curly.

I also turn all their jokey insults to me around with that old joke, "Your mom is _____. Oh, wait..." and that produces another round of giggles. I think you have to consider the culture of any kid to determine what's detrimental and what's funny and taken lightly.

J&K10910 · December 2010

I like your answer to "My toe hurts" better than mine. Mine is "Do I need to cut it off?"

maratea · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:12fa4f94-8129-4cfd-a457-61169f367de2">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : I'm going to agree with LTZ on this one. Depressed does not only mean suffering from depression. It has multiple definitions.
Posted by kcullen37[/QUOTE]

What else would you consider depressed? I'm not being bitchy, promise, just trying to understand what you and LTZ are saying. Would what you are saying be something like this: You might be obsessive about something, but it doesn't mean you have OCD. ??

BecW2be · December 2010

I say that too! Also, if she says she doesn't understand something I'll start with, "Well, if you were smarter this wouldn't be hard." She's the smartest kid in her class, so it's a stupid joke, but it makes us laugh. I bet anyone from the outside would want to kick me in the face for being so evil to my kid! Ha!

J&K10910 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:9a3d202d-e357-4027-b58e-4aa8c0717af7">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]I say that too! Also, if she says she doesn't understand something I'll start with, "Well, if you were smarter this wouldn't be hard." She's the smartest kid in her class, so it's a stupid joke, but it makes us laugh. I bet anyone from the outside would want to kick me in the face for being so evil to my kid! Ha!
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

Ha, I love it! FI and I tease each other like that too. Our favorite argument to have is why our respective sex is better. We throw around a lot of "women/men are so stupid" jokes.

All my girls at work knew that would be my response when they complained to me about something hurting, so I just kind of got used to saying it and so did they. Then one day, I worked on a different unit and a 13 year old boy kicked a concrete post because he was mad and his toe swelled up. I was looking at and he was saying "It really huuuuurts!" And I looked at him and said "We should probably cut it off, then, huh?" And his face. Oh my god, his face. I forget that people that don't "get" me think I'm nuts.

LessThanZero · December 2010

I'm trying to think of how to word this. I feel like the word depress/depressed/depression was around before psychiatry used it as a clinical name. So technically someone can be feeling very sad, worthless for 4 or 5 days, maybe even have trouble sleeping or eating because of it and say, "I'm feeling very depressed" even though a clinical diagnosis of depression would require more symptoms and for a longer time.

I looked up the definition of depressed and what I got was "a general state of despondency or unhappiness". After that was "clinical depression".

So I guess what I'm saying is I think it's ok for people to throw that term around a bit more loosely than what you were saying. Because being depressed doesn't only apply to people who are diagnosed as suffering from depression.

sarah0725 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:f8729a2e-3f8a-4608-8934-c1c92af83650">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : What else would you consider depressed? I'm not being bitchy, promise, just trying to understand what you and LTZ are saying. Would what you are saying be something like this: You might be obsessive about something, but it doesn't mean you have OCD. ??
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

This also bothered me, and I think there's another reason - there's been some noise recently about people who have constant low-level depression, never deep enough to be diagnosed as having a major depressive episode or something, but enough to be difficult to live with. I think it's called dysthemia, and most people who have it don't get diagnosed with it because they don't think they're sad enough to have "depression".

So I think if someone said they were depressed, I would accept that and try to help them talk through it. The last thing somebody needs when they're sad is semantics about whether they're sad enough to be diagnosed with depression and therefore allowed to say the word depressed.

K&J64 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:f8729a2e-3f8a-4608-8934-c1c92af83650">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : What else would you consider depressed? I'm not being bitchy, promise, just trying to understand what you and LTZ are saying. Would what you are saying be something like this: You might be obsessive about something, but it doesn't mean you have OCD. ??
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

"OCD" doesn't have multiple definitions, but yes you can be obsessive without having OCD. What I'm saying is you can be feeling dejected and sad and say "I'm depressed" that doesn't mean "I suffer from depression" one is a simple emotion the other is a mental healh diagnosis. There are non-emotional definitions as well, you can live in a depressed area, you can have a depressed amount of weight in science, a mouse can be depressed to squeeze under your kitchen door, etc.

I'm not being bitchy either, just answering the question :)

LessThanZero · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:358e459f-8394-44d4-ac70-dd418c224e97">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]LTZ- That makes sense and I see where you're coming from now. I still don't like it when people just use the word willy nilly, but that's a personal thing that stems from my issues. The example I keep going over in my head is something I read on FB. "I'm so depressed we have to go to the ILs house for Christmas this year." So I'm thinking, ok are you just pissed and grouchy that you have to go, or is there a serious reason behind not wanting to go and maybe an underlying issue (are they truly depressed, or just using that word for lack of a better one). Sarah#s- That's really interesting- I haven't heard of dysthemia but it makes sense.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

Oh yeah, and see that's probably where I misunderstood your comment. The part I bolded, that's BS. That's just someone exaggerating a feeling and throwing that word around very loosely. I think I had initially thought that you were saying that you shouldn't call yourself depressed or that you can't be depressed without actually having been diagnosed with clinical depression or at least meeting all of the requirements to do so. I get it now, and I agree with that.

sarah0725 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:358e459f-8394-44d4-ac70-dd418c224e97">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]LTZ- That makes sense and I see where you're coming from now. I still don't like it when people just use the word willy nilly, but that's a personal thing that stems from my issues. The example I keep going over in my head is something I read on FB. "I'm so depressed we have to go to the ILs house for Christmas this year." So I'm thinking, ok are you just pissed and grouchy that you have to go, or is there a serious reason behind not wanting to go and maybe an underlying issue (are they truly depressed, or just using that word for lack of a better one). Sarah#s- That's really interesting- I haven't heard of dysthemia but it makes sense.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

OK, I agree with you that that's annoying. If nothing else, they shouldn't be immortalizing a thought like that on Facebook where it could potentially get back to their ILs.

But if we're talking more like "The mess in my kitchen makes me depressed", then I think I'd give that person the benefit of the doubt.

K&J64 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:358e459f-8394-44d4-ac70-dd418c224e97">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]LTZ- That makes sense and I see where you're coming from now. I still don't like it when people just use the word willy nilly, but that's a personal thing that stems from my issues. The example I keep going over in my head is something I read on FB. "I'm so depressed we have to go to the ILs house for Christmas this year." So I'm thinking, ok are you just pissed and grouchy that you have to go, or is there a serious reason behind not wanting to go and maybe an underlying issue (are they truly depressed, or just using that word for lack of a better one). Sarah#s- That's really interesting- I haven't heard of dysthemia but it makes sense.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

I understand, what you mean with that example, but it's also possible that person is sad that they won't be spending Christmas with their own family, not just grouchy about seeing their in laws.

Since we're all about semantics today. It irks the shiit out of me when people expressed their distaste for something by saying it's "so gay". My general response is "really? what's homosexual about it?" My coworker is young, and pretty naive and says it ALL the time. Now that I say that she's gotten better. It's not what she means, and I've explained to her to say what she means. If she thinks it's boring or stupid or no fun at all than say that, don't say it's gay.

maratea · December 2010

Sorry I wasn't clearer about that. It's more the instances like I mentioned that really make me angry.

I think I had initially thought that you were saying that you shouldn't call yourself depressed or that you can't be depressed without actually having been diagnosed with clinical depression or at least meeting all of the requirements to do so. I get it now, and I agree with that.

I agree with you on this. At one point in time, I certainly hadn't been diagnosed with depression, but I was depressed and I knew it.

msteph82 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:4c1db237-4922-4229-be2c-c693fbb08f21">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : I understand, what you mean with that example, but it's also possible that person is sad that they won't be spending Christmas with their own family, not just grouchy about seeing their in laws. Since we're all about semantics today. It irks the shiit out of me when people expressed their distaste for something by saying it's "so gay". My general response is "really? what's homosexual about it?" My coworker is young, and pretty naive and says it ALL the time. Now that I say that she's gotten better. It's not what she means, and I've explained to her to say what she means. If she thinks it's boring or stupid or no fun at all than say that, don't say it's gay.
Posted by kcullen37[/QUOTE]

I'm guilty of this. And I'm pulling the "I am friends with people who are homosexual" card because, well, my two closest guy friends are gay. I only say that because that's actually where I picked it up. I used to also get irked when I would hear someone say "that's gay". I tend to say "I'm so gay for that" rather than "that's so gay". Not saying it is right by any means though.

anna.oskar · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:b5ebd554-39e4-4466-b076-2c23af8fcb64">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : you mean me dont you. I cant help my face.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

Of course not! i was just throwing that out there as a pathetic attempt to get pity for myself and my extreme case of fartface. Because i'm a AW like that

Blueyed228 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:8d54aaf9-9696-465e-a011-f5145aa566f8">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]No matter how I put this, it will come out as "why don't you LIKE me?" but I'm airing this grievance. I want to know what I have done that pisses Blue off so much. I get you can not like someone, but IMO I guess I got under her skin somehow. You don't have to like everyone. I just skim over posts of knotties I don't really care for. Oh, and I do tend to be too nice, which comes off as "like me, like me, PLEASE, I must have no friends or self confidence outside TK" I have this fear of being known as a b*tch, so I err on the side of nice. It annoys me too at times and I work on being more tactful without being a raging meanie.
Posted by msteph82[/QUOTE]

Im late to this but since you asked I will clarify for you.

I think you are a disingenuous trouble maker. The night of the May2011 stuff you thought you were all high and mighty moving threads, deleting posts, and spouting off about who is allowed to post on your precious board or not. From your actions, I can only gather that you were some kind of self elected "queen bee" over there and did not like other people coming in and taking over.

But my main issue with you is that you were the cause of some arguments between the regulars on this board with each other over the whole debacle. I take issue with anyone who causes disruption here between regulars who would not have had an issue with each other if it wasnt for you.

Then you made some smart asss comments about how the girls on your board were posting over here. Then you come over here posting like nothing happened expecting us to get on your team because a few girls on your board called you out on your shiit.

You have every right to post wherever you like. I find it funny that you want that courtsey, but did not want to extend that same courtesy to others when they chose to post on your board.

Not everyone is going to like you. I dont get why you care so much. And yes, you are coming off as very "Like me! Like me!" as far as I am concerned. Nor do I buy that you are some nicey nice girl. I think it will be a matter of time before you prove my point. Till then, I will post when I want, where I want, and about who or what i want.

[Deleted User] · December 2010

I think I'm way in the minority, but I don't get nit picky-ness in general. I don't care if someone says they're depressed because they can't go shopping or something because it has no effect on me. They can label themselves however they want. I just kind of feel sorry for people if they get so upset over things like that. Life is too short.

And I'm with sesh. I don't give two fuucks about whether they are called child molesters, pedophiles or space truckers. I don't want them near me. Sorry, Jess. You know I love you. This is just one of those things for me.

allisong23 · December 2010

Yeah, but the tension from sigs didn't have anything to do with mSteph. Yes, it was on the board she is a mod on, but she didn't seem to be agreeing with their rantings and ravings. It would be like blaming M&M for people who have quotes from some of the crazy trolls from threads that happenned on SB in their sigs.

You defintely have the right to like and dislike whoever you want here, but I don't feel like it is worth it to keep going after her, when there are plenty of other jackasses that are more worthy of your dislike.

J&K10910 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:8297b581-9b6b-4282-838f-63b4c0374ae2">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]And I'm with sesh. I don't give two fuucks about whether they are called child molesters, pedophiles or space truckers. I don't want them near me. Sorry, Jess. You know I love you. This is just one of those things for me. :)
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

You don't have to apologize for disagreeing (you really didn't even disagree...I guess I'm not sure what you're sorry for!) with me, you goof.

[Deleted User] · December 2010

I'm sorry about that time when I hid in your closet waiting for you to get home and I got so excited that I peed.

J&K10910 · December 2010

Yeah, the least you could have done was clean up the pee before you ran away. And stayed to visit. Iw ould have given you dinner. And hot chocolate.

[Deleted User] · December 2010

I was just so embarrassed. And I smelled like pee.

beatlesgirl25 · December 2010

I'm late coming back to this, but re: the depressed issue, Mara I think you are thinking of major depressive disorder and/or a major depressive episode. In which case, it's definitely inaccurate (and annoying!) for someone to say, "I'm depressed that the concert got cancelled," or something to that degree. Though there is a whole class of depressive disorders (and no such thing as "clinical depression"), and I feel it can be used as an adjective, because that's what it is. Think about it this way: Is your mood depressed or elevated? Those are the two extremes, and we all fall on the spectrum at different times.

Sarah is right about dysthymia, aka dysthymic disorder. Though it actually is a legit depressive disorder, it's just a more low-level kind of depression that is chronic in nature, unlike major depression which comes in episodes. People can also have adjustment disorders "with depressed mood," which is another way of describing a level of depression in an individual. The whole notion of something being a "disorder" is that it has gotten to the point where it is significantly and consistently impairing the daily functioning and/or relationships of an individual, for X amount of time (depending on the diagnosis). And if someone is not diagnosable, they can still have a depressed mood.

Sorry if this came off lecture-like, I just wanted to help fill in some of the blanks in the discussion here, since some people seemed to be wondering!

K&J64 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:bd29fe9a-df88-4d85-a41b-3b8365e683b9">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : I'm guilty of this. And I'm pulling the "I am friends with people who are homosexual" card because, well, my two closest guy friends are gay. I only say that because that's actually where I picked it up. I used to also get irked when I would hear someone say "that's gay". I tend to say "I'm so gay for that" rather than "that's so gay". Not saying it is right by any means though.
Posted by msteph82[/QUOTE]

It all depends on the context. If you said "I'm so gay for Beyonce" than there's nothing wrong with that lol. Saying "I don't want to go to this book club anymore, it's so gay" isn't correct. It's partially offensive to me and partially annoys me because I cannot stand it when adults use words out of context/don't understand their meaning. Gay = happy or homosexual.

missy68 · December 2010

Beats, I've used "clinically depressed" to describe mine to others (when it is necessary) just to indicate I've been diagnosed and treated/am currently being treated, so they understand it isn't just something I'm "claiming," you know? And then I usually tell them when it was diagnosed. But, it does come and go, like everything.
But, the frigging insomnia NEVER does.

AYG

Re: AYG

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