Wedding Etiquette Forum

A Honeymoon Fund Jar?

Stumble Upon just led me to a webpage with 7 "wedding touches." One of them was to put out a jar that said Honeymoon Fund for people to put money into.

That's pretty rude, right? Like, on one hand, guests don't *have* to put anything in, but on the other hand, it's like a tip jar.

Thoughts?
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Re: A Honeymoon Fund Jar?

  • It is horrendously rude.  Stick with your first instince and ditch the idea.  Since that idea was incredibly rude, I'm curious as to the other 6 ideas and who came up with them.
  • Horribly, horribly rude.  Please don't do this.
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  • Really rude. A honeymoon is just a vacation. You wouldn't normally ask for someone to fund your vacation, so it's rude to do it just because you got married.
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  • YUCK. Very rude. Skip this!


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  • Oh, no, make no mistake, my first thought was "Oh, my goodness, would someone actually *do* that?"

    The other ones were just the run of the mill stuff, use table numbers to represent ages, put song requests on invitations, ask for marriage advice, etc.

    That one just blew my mind.
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  • Always trust your gut - you thought it was rude and it is. Don't do it.
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  • No.  You wouldn't put a tip jar on the table if you had friends over for dinner, would you?  Soliciting donations is just rude, no matter how cute the packaging.
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  • edited February 2012
    They are rude to put out at the wedding. However, I decorated a large old mason jar and wrote Honeymoon Fund on it and keep it on a dresser. We put all of our spare change in there. You could do something like that. You'd be suprised how much you can save by the time of your wedding just using a spare change jar. 
  • Guests should never be pressured to give the hosts anything, period. If they choose to bring a gift, they choose to of their own accord.
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  • I saw this, too. And what impressed me most was that it was a list of ideas that would "wow" your guests. How true -- because my reaction as a guest would be "Wow -- I can't believe they did this!"
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-honeymoon-fund-jar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f716a500-d79f-4f6c-bf24-ede7f77f1d6bPost:4fb3ffe4-e731-4342-98ac-1a8dec31a95c">Re: A Honeymoon Fund Jar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: A Honeymoon Fund Jar? : We have an empty animal cracker container shaped like a teddy bear.  :)
    Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

    <div>Oh that's cute! </div>
  • Disgusting! That is one of the worse suggestions I have ever heard.

    We have a loose change jar on our dresser. It counts the coins as you put them in and it's fun to watch the coins add up. Every time it hits $100 we go for an extra nice dinner or do a little splurge purchase.
  • Don't do it! Unless your wedding is a fundraiser then go for it
  • I was never going to do it. I just came across the suggestion and thought it was rude, and wanted to know what other people would think about it.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-honeymoon-fund-jar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f716a500-d79f-4f6c-bf24-ede7f77f1d6bPost:65c3ce47-5c43-484f-8755-76e9ca43a076">Re: A Honeymoon Fund Jar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]They are rude to put out at the wedding. However, I decorated a large old mason jar and wrote Honeymoon Fund on it and keep it on a dresser. We put all of our spare change in there. You could do something like that. You'd be suprised how much you can save by the time of your wedding just using a spare change jar. 
    Posted by ArynBaker[/QUOTE]

    <div>I think there's a big difference between having a "honeymoon fund" change jar for yourself and your FI and having one for your guests; namely, that your idea here is adorable and the idea for wedding guests is horribly rude.</div><div>
    </div><div>A CW gave me a jar that says "wedding fund" on it that she intended to be a cute candy dish, but CWs keep trying to put money in it before they discover it's filled with chocolate. I'm thinking about bringing it home and using it as a loose change jar for FI and myself to use for this same purpose.</div>
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    maryemoo
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-honeymoon-fund-jar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f716a500-d79f-4f6c-bf24-ede7f77f1d6bPost:f64220a9-59f4-44aa-9050-7bceb30dfeaf">Re: A Honeymoon Fund Jar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: A Honeymoon Fund Jar? : I think the OP made it clear that she knew it was rude, and Aryn and I were just sharing what we did personally.  I know for myself I wasn't equating the two. Your sig is funny.
    Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

    <div>I wasn't sure if Aryn was equating the honeymoon fund at home to the honeymoon fund at the reception, so I guess I stated the obvious in my post. My bad.</div><div>
    </div><div>About the sig.... I am a ho for Natalie Dee. </div>
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  • Yea, I should have made it two different paragraphs. I was trying to offer an alternative if she liked the fund jar idea. 
  • That makes way more sense now that I you say that and I re-read your post.

    Apparently, reading is hard for me today. Whoops!
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  • I had a friend try to tell me to put out a jar for "dinner donations". She said her cousin had a barn wedding & did this, everyone loved it & thought it was a good way to get money. She said she usually puts $50 in a card but threw another 50 in this jar & her cousin made $4000. 

    I was like i seriously can't believe someone had the nerve to do that & she said oh but everyone thought it was a cool idea. No one had to put money if they didn't want to. No, no they don't, but the felt obligated too. 

    My family & friends would hate me forever if i did something so tacky. I can't believe there would be advice like that. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-honeymoon-fund-jar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f716a500-d79f-4f6c-bf24-ede7f77f1d6bPost:2bbbdd40-b0f2-4fa2-a69e-fd0cf4edef6d">Re: A Honeymoon Fund Jar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks!  I bought it at Target.  It was a lot of fun emptying him.  <strong>Animal crackers dipped in Nutella</strong> = best PMS food ever.
    Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

    <div>Everyone else covered OP's question...so all I have to offer is: heck yes. Also, nutella + peanut butter.</div>
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  • Op you are wise :) I read the "suggestion and my first thought was "Ew". Eagles Teddy Grahams in frosting=dunkaroos you're welcome.
  • See, now I want cookies and frosting. But I have a sore throat, so they're a no-no. Thanks, guys. :(
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  • I received a complementary Wedding Bells magazine today. It has an article that lists the A-Z of a wedding look. I believe it is the Y that says "Your Day, Your way" applies to more than just the day, it also applies to your look! I sighed and shook my head.
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  • This is horribly tacky and rude.  Please do not do this.
  • I think that is a disgusting thing to do.  It is really rude and would probably offend a lot of your guests and having them commenting behind your back.

    Sharon Ferris
    http://yourbestweddingsupplies.com

  • What is the big deal? I have been to plenty of weddings where they have done this. . Towards the end of the reception the best man and MOH start a train dance going around collecting money to put in a boot you can choose to throw money in the boot or not....but they do want you too join the train then the train stops at the bride and grooms table gives them the boot. I have seen jars, tins, baskets or bowls.

    You are sharing this special event with people who love and know you well. You realize the gifts are being given and are grateful. But the amount you are receiving is spending money on your honeymoon. I think the most I have seen at a wedding was 300 dollars.

    Your guest want you to have a great time on your honeymoon. It is a gesture of thanking you for being a part of your special day and that you deserve a nice vacation from the hard work planning your day.

    Loakes1989laurenleigh3221
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_a-honeymoon-fund-jar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f716a500-d79f-4f6c-bf24-ede7f77f1d6bPost:9980e428-e675-4497-a1d8-43aa815f0380">Re: A Honeymoon Fund Jar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]What is the big deal? I have been to plenty of weddings where they have done this. . Towards the end of the reception the best man and MOH start a train dance going around collecting money to put in a boot you can choose to throw money in the boot or not....but they do want you too join the train then the train stops at the bride and grooms table gives them the boot. I have seen jars, tins, baskets or bowls. You are sharing this special event with people who love and know you well. You realize the gifts are being given and are grateful. But the amount you are receiving is spending money on your honeymoon. I think the most I have seen at a wedding was 300 dollars. Your guest want you to have a great time on your honeymoon. It is a gesture of thanking you for being a part of your special day and that you deserve a nice vacation from the hard work planning your day.
    Posted by vickilee59[/QUOTE]

    I agree. Its really not that serious. The people that attend are people that are important to you, friends family etc, so i would hope that none of them would get offended or think anything of it. They are not FORCED to give anything. Plus I think it is slightly rude if people dont bring a gift or at least offer something. I mean they are going to your wedding/reception and eating the food and drinking the drinks. However, I do think the idea of an actual jar/basket/etc is slightly tacky and not really meant for an elegant or traditional wedding.
  • I don't really see what the big deal is either. IMHO a couple's wedding should be done however they feel best reflects them.   My fiance and I decided not to register for gifts and are asking people to donate to our honeymoon fund instead.  I think its a cute idea to put out a jar, especially for a casual wedding.  The only negative thing would be not knowing who donated and how much unless they put it in an envelope with their name or something.  I would want to know who to thank and how much they contributed...and let them know how much we appreciated and enjoyed our honeymoon because of their generosity.  One more thing....a honeymoon is NOT just a vacation!  Its a special time away from the world for the couple to celebrate, make memories, and enjoy the beginning of their new life together after all the hard work of planning the ceremony.  Personally, I think the wedding is for the family and friends and the honeymoon is for the couple.  I know that most of my family and friends would love knowing that they helped to make that happen for us.
  • Perhaps at a more traditional wedding, with a ton of people there that you don't even know this could be a bad idea but our wedding is small, causal, and filled with people we know and love and who love us. We had to pay for most of our wedding ourselves and it's been such a strain to try and book a proper honeymoon on our own. We just can't find a place we can afford on our own so we are probably going to put out a jar. 

    Our friends and family already know that we don't intend to force anyone to donate anything, they might or they may not. It's up to them and they know that. 
  • If it were like a vow renewal or an anniversary party...it would be nice to ahve so people can donate to a "Second honeymoon". But at the wedding reception itself...it's tacky. If people want to give you money there are other ways and times at the reception that don't broadcast what money your getting. Imagine you go to put money in and see coins or a 100 dollar bill. You'll spend the rest of the reception wondering who was cheao and who's trying to make a big impression!
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