none noted

chandarob · April 2012

Over

Beachy730 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_mil-problem?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:4eded6ee-3c52-4d78-8b7e-a4588b2565ccPost:0c9abea1-a305-49ca-9454-270382f92f38">MIL PROBLEM</a>:
[QUOTE]arob Total posts: 21 4/23 I had to go to a tball game for the stepson to be the other day. When I got there I sat with who I saw first. It was my FI's brother and dad. After sitting and looking around for a few minutes I realized my MIL was sitting with my FI's ex wife and family. She Sat there the whole time. When I got home I called her and said hi since I didn't get to at the game. And I let her know I was a little hurt that she didn't acknowledge my presence. And that when she showed me his wedding album so I could see the color of there dresses, and when every time I see her she goes on and on about how beautiful his first wedding was that she really hurt my feelings. <strong>I told her were going to have to get along and that she better get used to me because I'm not going anywhere.</strong> Then she told me to F Off and Hung up. I didn't yell or curse. I just explained how I felt. Then she called everyone in the family and my FI and told them I verbally attacked her. I'm not exactly sure what else she said but she has turned this around to make me look like an ass. I'm really at a loss for what the Hell else transpired here. All I know now is my FI wants me to call and apologize.???? Should I swallow my pride and do it? I did not expect so much drama from expressing my hurt feelings.
Posted by chandarob[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>So basically you threatened your FMIL and now can't understand why she got mad and your FI wants you to apologize? </div><div>
</div><div>Just like the ladies in your other post said, you just as easily could have went over to her and hi as well. You didn't, and neither did she. Does it suck? Sure, and I probably would have been upset by it too. But threatening her isn't going to get you anywhere. With her or your FI it sounds like. Call to apoligize for threatening her, but you can say that you are still upset by her actions.

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Zimsgirl · April 2012

I'd just let it blow over. She knows you're hurt and I don't think you should have to apologize for explaining how you felt. You're right she will have to get used to you. It may have not been the best way to say it but it's true. I'd just let it blow over

divinemsbee · April 2012

I think it depends on how you said it. I can see an out of the blue phone call with a total non sequitur in which you stated that you aren't going anywhere to be a little weird. I'd give it a day or so, and then maybe try to face to face with her, maybe a face to face with her and your FFIL if you can arrange it. Also, I might try to keep most communication with her written (Facebook/e-mail/text), that way there's a paper trail.

I mean, on a level, you are right, she does need to let the past lie and know that you're going to be around, but it doesn't sound like you went about it in the best way. I mean, I'd be pretty pissed if I was totally ignored by my FMIL (I have been, not fun, and I see where you're coming from), but you were probably still a little upset when you talked to her. As someone else with a very difficult FMIL, I will tell you that the way she "wins" is when you get upset or when she causes problems between you and your FI. Yes, it's a sick game to play, but just kill her with niceness. Then, if she flies off the handle, she's the bad guy. Now, if she just starts twisting everything and your FI doesn't believe you, then you have an FI problem, also, see above re: paper trail.

The ex is going to be around more since they have a kid, and that makes it harder, but you need to rise as far above any sort of drama with both the ex and his mom as you can. I'm assuming that your FI is away right now, but if he isn't, try to make sure he's there when you talk wedding with his mom. Otherwise, just don't, it doesn't sound worth it. Be civil, be polite and bean dip her when she wants to talk about his first.

ggirl2001 · April 2012

So you deleted because people told you it's not just a FMIL problem but a FI problem too? I hope you come back and tell us your FI was right and all military wives are biitches.

crownsuperstar · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_mil-problem?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:4eded6ee-3c52-4d78-8b7e-a4588b2565ccPost:2b997eec-ff5a-4887-b88c-51b3fa661a68">Re:none noted</a>:
[QUOTE]So you deleted because people told you it's not just a FMIL problem but a FI problem too? I hope you come back and tell us your FI was right and <strong>all military wives are biitches.
</strong>Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

GG- you didn't get your "biitch card" after you and H got married. I got mine when we signed me up for DEERS.

chandarob · April 2012

In Response to Re:none noted:[QUOTE]So you deleted because people told you it's not just a FMIL problem but a FI problem too? I hope you come back and tell us your FI was right and all military wives are biitches. Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]
Wow. That's not what was said. I deleted because the women on here are snarky. I had been venting. Did not come on for your lovely attitudes. People that have 3,000 posts under there belt, need to start living their own lives.

Sammy0709 · April 2012

So basically you deleted for the exact reason ggirl said... When you're here several years the posts tend to add up. It's not for lack of having a life outside these boards. People gave you honest functional advice. When people come to vent we usually give that is what typically happens. Not everyone in the world is going to patronize you and crap puppies and rainbows when they see an issue in a different light than you do.

Sammy0709 · April 2012

Too add since the mobile site won't let me edit, I'm speaking for this post alone, not the one after it since I read that second. Calling you a troll someone who makes up drama on the Internet wasn't helpful. That is, assuming you are a real person and I assume you are. Perhaps the issues with you MIL are why your FI believes you get sucked in to drama? Why am I bothering? You won't be back.

ggirl2001 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_mil-problem?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:4eded6ee-3c52-4d78-8b7e-a4588b2565ccPost:9f916985-d687-4787-9cff-e7a4f552e8f7">Re:none noted</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:none noted: Wow. That's not what was said. I deleted because the women on here are snarky. I had been venting. Did not come on for your lovely attitudes. People that have 3,000 posts under there belt, need to start living their own lives.
Posted by chandarob[/QUOTE]<div>So you deleted because of the reason I said. That no one validated you. Please, I need to get a life? I have a life. I even have friends that my H trusts me to have and choose.

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ggirl2001 · April 2012

OH, and Sammy, she deleted this OP before anyone called her a troll in the other post. So, it was in direct relation to what people said to her on THIS post, not what was said in the other post. Or it was in relation what people said in the other post, BEFORE she was called a troll. She didn't want to hear the truth. She just wanted validation that everything was a-ok.

ETA: she also deleted on moms and maids because she didn't get the advice she wanted and everyone there was snarky.

iluvmytxrgr · April 2012

I guess all military wives, moms in general and brides maids must all be bitchy too, huh? How does the saying go? Something about when you look around and all the people around you are crazy, maybe they aren't the crazy ones?
OP, if you actually come back, everyone is telling you there are issues you are blinding your self to. I think the romantic idea of getting married is causing you to over look some very big problems in your relationship.

Sammy0709 · April 2012

In that case disregard my follow up.

none noted

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