cash bar

baby green bird · January 2010

there are a lot of very new people on the board these days and it looks like the board dynamic has changed a bit.

so i'm curious as to what the general feeling is about cash bars are these days. the other day i saw someone encouraging a gal to do a cash bar. so.... what's the feeling?

laurenclaire1386 · January 2010

I'm against it at a wedding. The reason is, I would never invite my close friends and family to a party at my house and ask them to provide their own food and drinks. I had a NYE party at my house this year, and we got a keg and several bottles of champagne, told all of our guests we had beer covered, but that if they wanted to bring liquor please do so. I think you can get away with a cash bar, but only if you provide a free alternative.

FutureMrsTR · January 2010

I think the consensus is that it's tacky/rude even if it's regionally acceptable. The only thing I've seen even close to someone encouraging a cash bar recently was people saying it would be ok to have open beer & wine bar with a signature cocktail and if someone wanted a different alcoholic drink then they'd pay for it in cash.

WildRumpus · January 2010

No, no, no. Do what you can afford...if you can only afford beer and cheap champagne, fine, but don't ask your guests to pay for their own alcohol.

baby green bird · January 2010

i like your answer and your picture "klassy broad."

betrothed123 · January 2010

Hi BGB!

The opinion hasn't changed.

opalsky007 · January 2010

I'm against it. I think it's better than having a dry wedding (unless it's a punch and cake deal), because at least the option is there. But if you can't afford to provide drinks, you should be rethinking the guest list or type of food you're offering.

vallyhoo · January 2010

I would never host an event with a cash bar.

pooh8402 · January 2010

TACKY. I see it the same as Lauren. you (or your parents) are hosting a party, and when you are the hostess, you provide the refreshments. if one can't afford a full open bar, they can provide a limited open bar (beer, wine, maybe one signature drink). we're doing beer and wine only.

laurenclaire1386 · January 2010

Thanks BGB. That pic is me finishing the last of the champagne we bought for the party

I'm still shocked we had some left over.

banana468 · January 2010

Cash bar all the way. I wasn't going to pay for my guests to get drunk!

tee hee

JessAndTrav · January 2010

We had our wedding at a hotel, and they had a bar in the lobby. The WC said that they'd set up a bar in the ballroom so that people wouldn't have to walk to the bar in the lobby, so we did. It actually went over well, but we only had about 35% of our guests that actually drink. We also had a hot chocolate bar for the non-drinkers, and that was a hit. I think that people appreciated the alternative.

baby green bird · January 2010

hi betrothed.

sarahmk5 · January 2010

No. You don't invite people to a party and then have them pay for their own booze.

JessAndTrav · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1981cc21-957f-44ec-94a6-35d3e17eb85dPost:00c26179-3b28-49a5-8bd0-089e2a14a2e7">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]\we only had about 35% of our guests that actually drink.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

Not people that actually drank, just people that drink in general.

kikibaby · January 2010

I've been to lots of both... I hate going to a wedding with a cash bar, but I also don't fault the couple. I personally wouldn't do it though (my budget is super-tight, but I'm going to figure out a way to get alcohol to the people).

[Deleted User] · January 2010

I generally agree with the concept of hosting a party = providing the food/drink. However, if I went to a wedding (and I have many times) that a cash bar was present, I would not think twice about it.

betrothed123 · January 2010

How's everything going, BGB? How's Zane feeling?

WildRumpus · January 2010

I'll also throw out that we're not serving alcohol...our venue won't allow it, and we're getting married at 11:30 AM....but we'll have lots of good non-alcoholic alternatives.

britne28 · January 2010

I have never been to a wedding that didn't have a cash bar. It is acceptable in this area. We are having a cash bar but we are trying to find room in the budget for a signature cocktail for the cocktail hour. And we'll pay for the champers toast.

c-dub · January 2010

We're providing beer and wine only, which I think is marginally acceptable. Definitely not preferred, but better than full cash bar.

JessAndTrav · January 2010

I've actually only been to one wedding where there was an open bar, every other wedding I've been to was dry or had a cash bar. I do think that if it's accepted in your circle, then do as you wish.

Now, if every wedding I'd been to had an open bar, there's no way I would have done a cash bar.

But I do think that supplying an alternative in addition to the cash bar is a good way to go. I think that people would have been more disappointed with our choice had we not had the hot chocolate bar.

MissLeahM · January 2010

Personally, I couldn't care less.. If I went to a wedding and had to buy booze, so be it. I can have a good time without it. It wouldn't ruin the rest of my day. But then again, I never really grew up around alcohol anyway.

baby green bird · January 2010

LOL banana... betrothed: did you read about zane's illness on fb? are you ON fb, and i haven't seen you? or maybe i'm all confused with the knotties on fb. that is probably it.

he is better. he has a big brother now from bb/bs now and he is enjoying it very much.

gosh he is just growing so fast:) thankyou for asking about him.

SarahSmile23 · January 2010

i can't believe the number of people on here lately claiming that cash bars are a great option. i'm shocked, actually.

NuggetBrain · January 2010

Not a fan. On board with the whole "throwing a party, providing the booze" aspect. My MOH threw a NYE party, and provided some snacks but told everyone they'd have to BYOB. Only ten people showed up. Wonder why.

MeaghanandMichael · January 2010

I think what you are seeing BGB is more people acting like they personally don't care if other people have a cash bar. But, on a etiquette end of things, it has never changes that as a hostess, you don't make guests pay.

betrothed123 · January 2010

BGB,

Yup, you added me as a FB friend a while ago. I'm glad he's doing better.

H had a big sister in the BB/BS program. He has such fond memories of her

opalsky007 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1981cc21-957f-44ec-94a6-35d3e17eb85dPost:0944e47a-52b1-407c-932d-6c3510aa0ce8">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]I think what you are seeing BGB is more people acting like they personally don't care if other people have a cash bar. But, on a etiquette end of things, it has never changes that as a hostess, you don't make guests pay.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

This is what I was getting at. If I'm at an evening wedding and otherwise having a good time, I'd rather have the option to pay for my drink than go without. But I'd also wonder why the B&G didn't find a way to make an open bar affordable by cutting the guest list, having a cocktail reception instead of dinner, etc.

NuggetBrain · January 2010

I also am not really a drinker, so there's that too.

baby green bird · January 2010

sarah: i'm shocked aswell. yet i knew there was a change in thinking since i had been a regular. betrothed, i am embarrassed that i have no idea of who you are on fb. i feel idiotic, actually. can you post on my page or message me? i am soooorry.

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