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Each guest to pay for their own meal at reception

Maxie4Maxie4
in Canada

It was right there on the rsvp - we were to include $40 per "guest" when we returned the rsvp, to pay for our meals at the reception.  I'm a generation older than the bride, is this now considered a polite thing to request?  I'm feeling that this is a rude, tacky thing to do.  When we married, we had a small but lovely backyard reception, because that is what we could afford - and the last thing we would have considered, would have been to make any of our invitees feel they were anything less than an honoured guest, by asking them to pay for their dinner.  Have things changed? 

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Re: Each guest to pay for their own meal at reception

  • MadisonpennyMadisonpenny member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    nope, things have not changed.  I think it's rude and tacky to invite guests to a celebration of YOUR wedding and then expect them to not only pay for their own travel expenses and hotel( which I think guests should pay for) but then ask them to provide X amount per person for their dinner as well (which they shoulnd't pay for).
    I'd be interested to see how many people rsvp with a accepted response and actually sent in a cheque.
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  • ring_popring_pop member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Suuuuuuuuper tacky!!

    I'd decline. Good grief.
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  • LittlinLittlin member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    WHAT?  If you can't afford to host a reception, don't have one - just do the ceremony!  Ditto to PP. Wow.
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  • blush64blush64 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    That's horrible!! I would not go to that wedding. I don't get why someone close to that couple didn't tell them not to do that.

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  • meimameima
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Seriously!? I'd be declining as well
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  • LidleDLidleD
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've never heard of this. And I certainly wouldn't be attending.
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  • Cynthia1207Cynthia1207 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I got an invitation like that as well...It said:  Our gift will be your presence and a monetary contribution of 95$. Please send the cheque along with your RSVP..... I wanted to shoot myself.

    In European cultures, it's traditional that guests ''cover their plate'' but we never, ever, ever, put the cost on the invite.  Guests usually ask what the price is and give you an envelope at the wedding. 
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  • sweetcanadian1979sweetcanadian1979
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i couldn't imagine any of my guests wanting to come to the wedding if i put that request up there, how insulting and rude. I can't believe they think that is ok
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  • miellenmiellen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    O
    M
    G

    i can barely pick my jaw up. i will assume these invitations were DIY...
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  • gingerbride2011gingerbride2011
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    wow... can't imagine getting one.  depending on who it was for..... I would pay up and go.  I'm sure they thought long and hard about it and wrestled with the idea for a while to finally decide.  I'm assuming they honestly can't afford it.  for a night out to celebrate a wedding... I would pay...  I would feel bad if I was the only guest that paid and everyone else declined.  I'm sure they would be embarased and feel ackward at the reception.

    tough call.  I would pay.  I can't believe it... but they should have picked a venue and have something simple without a meal.

    can you share some details on where it's going to be held?
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  • kristalmscottkristalmscott member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    RIDICULOUS! I couldn't imagine! An old coworker did this, guess what, none of us went. That's just wrong. Then, on top of that, she didn't even choose a less expensive option? Surely there's something less than $40. WOW!!!

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  • mcdol3mcdol3
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yikes! I laughed when I saw that.
    Depending on who it was I'd declined for sure. Rude!
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  • missymrmissymr
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No times have not changed.

    Unfortunately that is the second time I've heard of someone doing that. The people making our invitations told us they had tried to talk another couple out of the idea but couldn't.

    So they paid a not small sum to have their invitations designed just for them but apparently didn't have the funds to cover the meals of their guests.

    I was appalled.

    I was equally appalled recently receiving an invitation to a friend's wedding in Australia in which they included a printed note suggesting if we were to send a gift they'd mostly appreciate money towards fixing up their house.

    I thought that was also quite tacky.
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  • tseguintseguin member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow that is EXTREMELY tacky. I could NEVER imagine!  I'd be sooo embarrassed if I were them.
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