FFF

NuggetBrain · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:da1d31a9-a4fe-4b4b-bcb9-f7efc8407cd3">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : <3 I'm not sure what I think about the concept of 'white guilt', but I suppose I'd rather people have some amount of caution versus not caring at all.
Posted by kate51485[/QUOTE]

Yes, but being overly cautious does nothing to help stamp out real discrimination and racism. It's like the Jesse and Al's of the world, who get their knickers in a knot about every little bit of percieved racial slights, but all that does is serve to bring attention away from the serious problems of race in America. Obviously, if someone throws the "N" word out it's okay to be all "WTF??" But getting upset about a term or phrase or comment when you don't really even know what it means or when the black folks around you are pretty much "eh" about it (which I've seen before, and always amuses me) is overdoing it.

BecW2be · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:c9401145-0ab6-465d-9e52-67b0cc6dd0f0">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Yes, but being overly cautious does nothing to help stamp out real discrimination and racism. It's like the Jesse and Al's of the world, who get their knickers in a knot about every little bit of percieved racial slights, but all that does is serve to bring attention away from the serious problems of race in America. Obviously, if someone throws the "N" word out it's okay to be all "WTF??" But getting upset about a term or phrase or comment when you don't really even know what it means or when the black folks around you are pretty much "eh" about it (which I've seen before, and always amuses me) is overdoing it.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

It's because of the Jesses and Als that I'm terrified to use any phrase about any race other than my own. I'm damned if do, damned if I don't, unless I know the person I'm speaking to. I just don't think Lynda should have said it to a newbie, after saying "I see you are black."

kate51485 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:c9401145-0ab6-465d-9e52-67b0cc6dd0f0">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Yes, but being overly cautious does nothing to help stamp out real discrimination and racism. It's like the Jesse and Al's of the world, who get their knickers in a knot about every little bit of percieved racial slights, but all that does is serve to bring attention away from the serious problems of race in America. Obviously, if someone throws the "N" word out it's okay to be all "WTF??" But getting upset about a term or phrase or comment when you don't really even know what it means or when the black folks around you are pretty much "eh" about it (which I've seen before, and always amuses me) is overdoing it.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

I agree with all of this. It's the over-sensitivity that prevents a truly open dialogue in a lot of cases concerning any kind of us vs. them.

AmoroAgain · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:73be2427-9f76-496c-a538-47f592ce99d9">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Speaking of which...every time you say "this made me raff!" I immediately want to post this, but can never decide whether you'd love it or call me racist.
Posted by opalsky007[/QUOTE]

Much like Nuggs, if I say it, it's okay for you to say it. THAT's funny. :D

And, I also don't think that being overly cautious about stuff gets rid of racism. The more important you make it, the more important it becomes. KWIM?

kate51485 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:b2659bb7-bcf3-4e03-81af-3f8434601c27">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : It's because of the Jesses and Als that I'm terrified to use any phrase about any race other than my own. I'm damned if do, damned if I don't, unless I know the person I'm speaking to. I just don't think Lynda should have said it to a newbie, after saying "I see you are black."
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

"Oh my god, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white!"

...sorry, couldn't resist :)

tidetravel · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:509f4791-02e3-4776-be45-8eaa2b7bad41">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I give Mery the sideeye frequently, but when she announced she wanted the same benefits as military personnel in the Health Bill thread, I wanted to shake something.
Posted by mag920[/QUOTE]

YES! And I was glad that TJ basically told her to put on a pair of boots and grab a rifle.

zippityb · March 2010

I thought CPT was like an abbreviation of catapult.

T1+T2 · March 2010

Nuggs, I totally agree with everything you've said. Also, I think that certain terms may or may not be offensive depending on the circumstance. Heck, I will be the first to admit that I sometimes run on CT (Cuban Time) and it wouldn't phase me in the slightest to hear that coming from someone else - regardless of race.

squirrly · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:9ac01871-a459-4bc9-bf82-3a5fb0cdd880">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Well, actually (and this isn't the place for this discussion probably) that's not completely true. Posted by ac_in_dc[/QUOTE]

So, it's ok for you to go on for 3 paragraphs about it, but it's not an appropriate place for the discussion? Is that your way of saying, "Shut up, I'm right, and we're not even having a debate?"

Either way, I don't think your points are entirely correct (unsurprisingly, I'm sure), nor do I think they really are part of the topic at hand.

MissLeahM · March 2010

For you Arbolita:

NuggetBrain · March 2010

Seriously Bec, it's so sad. My girlfriends always had so many questions about black hair (like what exactly a weave is, why we don't wash it every day, what a relaxer is, etc) but they were so afraid to ask because they didn't want to offend anybody or piss anybody off. There's absolutely nothing wrong about being curious about things that you're not familiar with. Being able to have an open and honest conversation about things like that is one of the reasons those girls are so comfortable with me now. Even having a conversation about personal prejudices has helped some of my friends, because it made them rethink them and come to some new conclusions. Me freaking out at them for being afraid of a large number of black guys at night and screaming that they were racist bigots would have only served to make them even more hesitant about discussing it, and might have even cemented their prejudices or ideas more firmly.

BecW2be · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:c2c6b91c-f37a-40d7-9836-5697c774c9f9">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : YES! And I was glad that TJ basically told her to put on a pair of boots and grab a rifle.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

I missed that, but WTF mery and WTG Tj.

This is more like a match flame rather than a blowtorch flame, but I think Kate#s was a bit harsh on whoever had their fertility treatments in their sig (Sarah?). It was text, and I didn't even see it until she was called out, but then I saw all she's been going through for fertility treatments, and it kind of made me sad for her. I think my real flame is TK/TB/TN, because we should be able to have different sigs depending on which site we visit.

shoegal715 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:c2c6b91c-f37a-40d7-9836-5697c774c9f9">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : YES! And I was glad that TJ basically told her to put on a pair of boots and grab a rifle.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

<div>So unrelated to anything, but I love your sig picture so much. Cutest picture I've ever seen.</div>

kate51485 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:e4dfb39f-7948-46c9-8a38-766ef889d444">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I missed that, but WTF mery and WTG Tj. This is more like a match flame rather than a blowtorch flame, but I think Kate#s was a bit harsh on whoever had their fertility treatments in their sig (Sarah?). It was text, and I didn't even see it until she was called out, but then I saw all she's been going through for fertility treatments, and it kind of made me sad for her. I think my real flame is TK/TB/TN, because we should be able to have different sigs depending on which site we visit.
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

It wasn't meant harshly. She herself said it was TMI, and that was all I had in mind.

ac_in_dc · March 2010

I wasn't trying to tell you to shut up, squirrly. Just had a point of view I wanted to express long-windedly. Ignore it if you want, or reply here, or reply somewhere else. I'm not looking for a fight. My brain is way too fried these days to try to piece together a cogent argument.

ootmother2 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:3d0fead2-444d-41d7-8136-653d3b75da02">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Nuggs, I totally agree with everything you've said. Also, I think that certain terms may or may not be offensive depending on the circumstance. Heck, I will be the first to admit that I sometimes run on CT (Cuban Time) and it wouldn't phase me in the slightest to hear that coming from someone else - regardless of race.
Posted by T1+T2[/QUOTE]

Lynda lives in St. Thomas, right? That's just one island removed from St. Croix where we used to have a place. As a minority in that culture, I always assumed it was okay to use CPT. I guess we never gave it that much thought.

My last employer was an African American investment banking firm and I was a minority there as well. The boss would remind us occasionally that the morning sales meeting started at 8:00 AM, WPT. I didn't give that much thought either.

Koopa17 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:095ae9d2-93e2-4883-ab69-67c9bcb8422a">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : So, it's ok for you to go on for 3 paragraphs about it, but it's not an appropriate place for the discussion? Is that your way of saying, "Shut up, I'm right, and we're not even having a debate?" Either way, I don't think your points are entirely correct (unsurprisingly, I'm sure), nor do I think they really are part of the topic at hand.
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

Jesus, nice overreaction.

tidetravel · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:e4dfb39f-7948-46c9-8a38-766ef889d444">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I missed that, but WTF mery and WTG Tj. This is more like a match flame rather than a blowtorch flame, but I think Kate#s was a bit harsh on whoever had their fertility treatments in their sig (Sarah?). It was text, and I didn't even see it until she was called out, but then I saw all she's been going through for fertility treatments, and it kind of made me sad for her. I think my real flame is TK/TB/TN, because we should be able to have different sigs depending on which site we visit.
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

Agreed. Prior to frequenting thebump, I never understood why people put age tickers in their siggys or fertility treatments. It's not a AW thing - it's pertinent information on the boards that one frequents over there. For example, if someone asks a question about their child not sleeping or suddenly starting to eat a ton, knowing the age is the pertinent to how you answer. Not saying that the siggys out there don't get out of hand, though. And then when someone posts on a different site, the siggys don't make sense because they aren't applicable to the situation.

Shoegal: Thank you! I hate how I look in the pic, but Taryn is so freaking cute that I had to put it up.

skhynes · March 2010

Eh, I put it in a blog instead with a link so now no one has to shield their eyes from the bebe/TMI talk. And I REALLY wish there were different siggys for each site as well.

Mrs.B6302007 · March 2010

I'd be on board with separate siggys for separate boards, too, Tide. What's helpful there isn't helpful here and vice versa.

AmoroAgain · March 2010

I have a flameish sort of thing... WTF was up with SaltyPeanut popping up and randomly asking me for a GTG while I was in Michigan next week? That was soooooo random. SO random.

squirrly · March 2010

AC, thanks for the clarification. I don't agree with your reasoning, but it doesn't have to be a debate.

BecW2be · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:0225cc0e-774a-41c0-b967-c9c3c5754e6b">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Seriously Bec, it's so sad. My girlfriends always had so many questions about black hair (like what exactly a weave is, why we don't wash it every day, what a relaxer is, etc) but they were so afraid to ask because they didn't want to offend anybody or piss anybody off. There's absolutely nothing wrong about being curious about things that you're not familiar with. Being able to have an open and honest conversation about things like that is one of the reasons those girls are so comfortable with me now. Even having a conversation about personal prejudices has helped some of my friends, because it made them rethink them and come to some new conclusions. Me freaking out at them for being afraid of a large number of black guys at night and screaming that they were racist bigots would have only served to make them even more hesitant about discussing it, and might have even cemented their prejudices or ideas more firmly.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

See, I was the 5yr old little white girl going through my mom’s best friend’s bathroom cabinet with her black sons, trying to find the right hair solution to put on my waist-length, stick straight hair so I could have an afro like their mom in the late 70s. I never even knew they were supposed to be different from me until I started kindergarten. I truly believed they were just really, really tan. It was awful finding out how people treat other people, and I found out how hurtful phrases are because of their reaction from phrases and slurs from other people in my stupid redneck town. I just don’t feel comfortable saying anyting that could be misinterpreted, so I’m guilty of not saying it to anyone I don’t really know. 
My friends making fun of my dumb-sounding southern accent is far funnier to me than some jackass in an airport asking me if I married my cousin. Not the same, but still offensive depending on the source.

louisvillebride21 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:298a1c5a-1b77-445b-81d3-a915091131d1">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : My friends making fun of my dumb-sounding southern accent is far funnier to me than some jackass in an airport asking me if I married my cousin. Not the same, but still offensive depending on the source.
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]
I got asked in the Tube in London if I normally wore shoes or it was just because I was on holiday. WTF.

BecW2be · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:5d0ffc8b-9c51-4c5e-853b-f4fad22c3919">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I got asked in the Tube in London if I normally wore shoes or it was just because I was on holiday. WTF.
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

"Only on days when I might need to stick one of them very far up some fuucktard's ass." would have been my reply to that.

goheels05 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:b4428dd3-b865-4729-ba86-aeccecf5e990">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a flameish sort of thing... WTF was up with SaltyPeanut popping up and randomly asking me for a GTG while I was in Michigan next week? That was soooooo random. SO random.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

I thought she used her sarcasm font. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

louisvillebride21 · March 2010

I wish I could have been that awesome. Instead, I went off on some tirade about how I was there on a full ride scholarship and how dare he act like he knows anything about me. And then I asked him when the last time he left his own country was. He was speechless and his wife grinned at me. It felt good at the time.

goheels05 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:298a1c5a-1b77-445b-81d3-a915091131d1">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]My friends making fun of my dumb-sounding southern accent is far funnier to me than some jackass in an airport asking me if I married my cousin. Not the same, but still offensive depending on the source.
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

Yes. I know we pick on Westbumblefuck NC all the time, but I am not amused when anyone else does it.

AmoroAgain · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bd9d026-06c1-4f5f-b2d1-efa516f01de7Post:03381194-2cba-4496-92a6-c8f20e9494cc">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I thought she used her sarcasm font.
Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]

SP has sarcasm? Who knew!

mandybear7 · March 2010

I know she's been flamed before a bajillion times for this, but that Kristin person with the weird "etiquette" advice. She is just so strange and random, especially with her recent post on the Invites board. I'm sorry you have to deal with her, squirrly.

FFF

Re: FFF

Choose Another Board

Search Boards