What would you do?

RandiLakin · May 2010

I just watched Primetime: What would you do? And one of the scenarios was a mother breastfeeding her child in a cafe, and the owner asked her to stop or leave because he said it was offensive to do that in public. Would you be offended, would you say anything? Would you intervene and take up for the mother or owner?

57% of Americans find breastfeeding in public not appropriate.

nda_roxybabe · May 2010

Was she covered?

Nebb · May 2010

I cant say because I dont have a kid and im sure my opinion might change but I dont think it us appropriate to breastfeed uncovered in public.

crfische · May 2010

I get having to feed your kid. Really. I do. But that's what bathrooms are for.

There is no reason for me to watch your child suckling your boob while I'm trying to eat.

I saw a new facebook group called "if you don't want to see my breastfeeding, but a blanket over YOUR head!" and there were so many words to say, but I couldn't find the ones that expressed my disgust as clearly as I wanted them to.

Breatfeed kids? YES SURE. Go for it. But not in public. That's gross.

btrflykate1230 · May 2010

I could careless where a mother decides to feed her kid, and, if she's covered or not. The kid has to eat. Would you prefer a screaming child or see a little nipple?

I hate it when they send a mother to breastfeed in the bathroom. I mean, come on. Do YOU want to eat in a public bathroom?

RachNRich · May 2010

I would be offended by the owner, but I can't imagine I would say anything to him. I am not at all offended by breastfeeding in public---well, not anymore than I am offended by everyone else eating in public.

I'm sad I missed Primetime; I got sucked into watching The Soup instead.

ggmae · May 2010

I just watched this too with N. We love this show and have been wondering when it would come back on TV.

Roxy - It was a fake baby wrapped in a blanket, so she was just holding the baby to her boob. It was really discreet, but in the middle of a cafe.

crfische · May 2010

If it meant that other people would see my private parts, yes. I would rather eat in the bathroom.

RandiLakin · May 2010

Yes she was covered.

I dont think i would say anything, but i would be uncomfortable with someone breastfeeding in public. I understand its natural, but i also see that as a very intimate moment and i feel that it should be done in private. But, i dont have kids...yet. So, maybe one day i'll change my mind, who knows.

crfische · May 2010

Both of my SIL's breast fed/feed. and NEVER ONCE did they have to FEED IN PUBLIC.

I don't think it's necessary, I think it's rude, and I appreciate that they had some respect for the people around them.

nda_roxybabe · May 2010

Covered? I don't mind.
Exposed? No, is there any reason they can't cover it up a little bit?

ggmae · May 2010

Oh, and if I were a witness I would have said something to the owner. He was being really rude in the show and telling the mother that she had no class, etc. I would have told him to be respectful, and I totally would have been that woman in line who told the owner that she no longer wanted to purchase anything from him and stormed out with the mother.

Nebb · May 2010

I dont see a baby eating in the bathrooms straight from the breast as the same as a human eating with their hands and touching surfaces. Its two completely different things in my mind.

btrflykate1230 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:a7611081-9a87-411b-a784-876b94299f2a">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]If it meant that other people would see my private parts, yes. I would rather eat in the bathroom.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

Some women don't care if other people see their nipple (which rarely happens, btw) when they'e breastfeeding, and don't care if others are offended by it. After a team of nurses and doctors have seen your vagina in the delivery room (about 10-15 nurses and doctors came in and out of my room as I was being stiched back up) I really, for the most part, lost the need for modesty.

FWIW, I never BF in public for fear of being scolded. I always pumped milk before going out or just fed Declan formula.

RandiLakin · May 2010

Mae, i love this show too.!! I also thought they done away with it, i was so excited to see it back on the tube. We should have more threads with their scenarios, they are so intriguing (sp?).

crfische · May 2010

Yeah, I'm just on a different page. You shouldn't breast feed your kid in public.

I just don't think it's respectful to the 90 percent of people trying to enjoy their meal.

YOU chose to breast feed your kid. I didn't choose that. Nor, did I choose to witness it when I spent money to go out to dinner in a restaurant.

No thank you.

crfische · May 2010

If your child was eating out of the toilet? Ok, that's a problem.

But your boob is JUST AS SANITARY in a bathroom as it is in a fricking dining room.

Take it somewhere private.

ggmae · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:457715ac-8fa5-4ff6-8b98-4b0bbec182de">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Mae, i love this show too.!! I also thought they done away with it, i was so excited to see it back on the tube. We should have more threads with their scenarios, they are so intriguing (sp?).
Posted by RandiLakin[/QUOTE]

Yeah, the abused woman scenario was interesting. I turned to N and said "I wonder how people would react if she was dressed differently" and then they had that scenario. And how about those people ignoring the fact that a mother had just tossed her kids out of a car and drove away!

RachNRich · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:143a9c05-0cf5-43f2-8f15-86752246a618">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]That being said, if it is being done discreetly, I don't have that big of an issue with it.<strong> If I can see your boob though, that is public nudity, and it is unneccessary, regardless of whether or not you are feeding a child.</strong>
Posted by mrs.jesse[/QUOTE]
I agree with you 100% on this. I am all for breastfeeding---and I don't mind it in public. I do remember working one day in college at Max & Erma's, and coming around the corner to see a woman busting her boob out for her baby. I get that it's "food" and not "sexual"---but, I don't get (and it's probably because I'm not a mom) how any woman would be okay with openly displaying her breasts in a public place.

andyandhillary · May 2010

I also agree with Fishy. Actually I just dislike watching it all together. Boobs out are boobs out. One of FI's sisters did it and wasn't totally covered in front of him and I think it bothered him. Why is it suddenly ok to whip your boob out once you have a kid?

btrflykate1230 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:80b1a981-dab6-4e94-95bd-eb9098d7b4f5">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]I dont see a baby eating in the bathrooms straight from the breast as the same as a human eating with their hands and touching surfaces. Its two completely different things in my mind.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

It's more for the comfort of the mother. Who wants to sit on a public toilet while they feed their child? And, even if the baby is too young to know the difference, I still feel like a baby should be treated like a human being.

crfische · May 2010

None of you know who finds that shiit sexual and who doesn't.

People are crazy. You put the people who are around you in an uncomforable position, and you may put yourself and your child in an unsafe position becaues you are too proud to go somewhere private to breast feed your child.

crfische · May 2010

WHO WANTS TO SIT IN A RESTAURANT AND WATCH A MOTHER WHIP OUT HER BOOB?

No one. That's who.

ggmae · May 2010

BFing in public is one of those things that I personally would never do, but I wouldn't judge those who chose to do so. It really doesn't bother me.

alixzafiris · May 2010

I'm with Fische. You're choosing to go out and thus, choosing to whip out a boob to feed your kid. Everyone else just has to sit back and deal without complaint? Um, no. There are ways of feeding your child, as Kate said, that don't involve everyone having to see your bits while at the same time trying to eat. It's inconsiderate.

andyandhillary · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:160fb838-457e-4761-816a-0c13068dd7c5">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]WHO WANTS TO SIT IN A RESTAURANT AND WATCH A MOTHER WHIP OUT HER BOOB? No one. That's who.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

Pervs...but that's about it.

btrflykate1230 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:8c665cd0-0bf4-478b-9cd4-a326666ca599">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]I also agree with Fishy. Actually I just dislike watching it all together. Boobs out are boobs out. One of FI's sisters did it and wasn't totally covered in front of him and I think it bothered him. <strong>Why is it suddenly ok to whip your boob out once you have a kid? </strong>
Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]

Because it's the child's food source. Many mothers choose not to formula feed because of the chemicals and other things that can be found in formula. Breastfeeding also has many health benefits that cannot be replaced in formula, like antibodies. It also reduces a mother's risk of breast cancer. If every woman breastfed for at least the first 6 months of their child's life, it would save the US <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6342ZG20100405" target="_blank">$13 billion a year in health care costs (clicky)</a>.

I honestly feel that there's nothing wrong with seeing a boob. It's a boob. If fat men can be shirtless at the beach, women should be allow to breastfeed. I have much nicer boobs than those fat men at the beach.

crfische · May 2010

Right.

I was with my BF'ing sister in law, and there was a lady next to use who just threw her damn kid under her shirt, and my SIL was like FISHY. SHE IS TOTALLY BF'ING HER KID UNDER THERE.

We all kind of wanted to puke, or at least move tables.

btrflykate1230 · May 2010

I also think the polite thing to do is to cover up. I'm not advocating "whipping it out" and feeding the kid.

But, I also do understand the other POV as a mother.

KentuckyKate · May 2010

I saw the preview for that this morning, and they were talking about it on The View.

This is the only issue that comes to mind that I would probably stand up and and yell at someone about. I wish more women would nurse uncovered in public to desensitize society to it. There is nothing lewd or sexual about it. It's natural, it's necessary, it's been happening for a million years, and it's what breasts are for. And breastfeeding is NOT what bathrooms are for.

Some babies are exclusively breastfed. I see no need for a nursing mother to feel like she's doing something unnatural or feel shamed and banished to a restroom to feed her hungry infant.

That said, I realize that breasts are also sexual objects, and that society will never be ok with nursing in public, so realistically, I think the polite thing to do is to use a nursing cover if you are breastfeeding in public.

crfische · May 2010

I'm not against breastfeeding.

There's just NO REASON that I should have to see it if that's your choice.

Be private about it.

Would you walk around topless in applebees?

I didn't think so.

So don't use your child as an excuse to whip out a boob. There are plenty of other more private places to do it.

Have you ever thought of the people who get off on that shiit who might be hanging out in a public restaurant?

Seriously. Cover it up. Go somewhere private, and have more respect for your child and your body.

What would you do?

Re: What would you do?

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