Confessions...

LetsHikeToday · October 2011

Anyone have any?

I confess I think I lost my love for teaching. I went to a science training yesterday and everyone around me was so excited to take the activities back to their classrooms. I couldn't have cared less. Maybe it's because I don't teach Science but I just sat there and didn't want to be there.

Also, I confess I'm having a rough time right now. H has worked late Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. I've been in charge of everything again and alone.No one understands what I'm going through because everyone's husbands have normal jobs. Being a full time home care taker makes me not want to come to work. I basically have two full time jobs. My coworker was annoyed that I was annoyed this morning and it pissed me off. She has no idea what this is like.

ggirl2001 · October 2011

Hike it sounds like you are burned out. Can you take a mental health day off soon? That might help a little bit. I'm sorry about your h's work schedule. That sucks. I made a confession to my h last night how I haven't felt attractive latey which iswhy I haven't initiated sex. I still don't feel it and I need to work on it. I know it's due to my weight gain. Eta: stupid iPhone mistakes.

amh04 · October 2011

I'm really sorry Hike, I second what ggirl said about a mental health day. It might do some good. It really sucks when their schedule is all funky.

I confess that I'm kind of on the same platue as ggril. (with the sex thing) I've been struggling to lose these last 15 pounds that I want to lose. I really, really want to be back down to the weight I was when I meet FI, and while part of me realizes - hey even if you only lose 10 pounds it'll still be okay, and that maybe it's a little unrealistic to want to be back down to that weight. I can't seem to not beat myself up over it and I can't seem to improve my self confidence at all. I also confess, that lately FI and I seem to be arguing a bit, and he's been irking my nerves lately.

Edited for clarity.

crownsuperstar · October 2011

Oh Hike- just hold out until Thanksgiving when you can get a couple of days off. Is there a teacher in service day coming soon? OH and BOOO to H's sucky work schedules! They are never helpful!

GG-right there with you with the weight gain thing and not liking myself.

Confession- I have gained a ton of weight but I have no desire to go to the gym at all. I used to love it but now I would rather just sit on the couch and with H being gone this is making it a lot worse.

LetsHikeToday · October 2011

GGirl and amh- I totally understand. GGirl, I feel that way too sometimes. It's good to be open to your H about it.

Crown- Have you tried DVDs? I grew to hate the gym so I got 3 of Jillian Michael's DVDs and I love them.

ggirl2001 · October 2011

I just got some Jillian michaels DVDs as well. H is leaving soon for a month so I am going to kick start working out then and do an all natural cleanse to help me.

firemedicrr · October 2011

ggirl, amh, crown- Not sure what you lovely ladies are trying; "traditional" working out was never for me. My recommendations? I used a program called "Turbulence training" in conjunction with a program called "The Diet Solution" and "Metabolic Cooking" successfully last year to lose 35 pounds and tons of inches. It really is 80 percent diet and only 20 percent exercise; "The Diet Solution" program is all down to earth eating tips that are sustainable over long the long term; no crash dieting for this girl. Now I eat whatever I want within the principles of that program as often as I want and I have maintained my weight since April, even with long periods of time without working out.

Recently, as I'm pressed for time, I've been following bodyrock.tv on the internet - this is a wonderful, free resource of home workouts with limited equipment (no equipment if you go back in the archives) and the workouts are anywhere from 4-30 minutes long, most are in the 12-20 minute range. I LOVE bodyrock; I can always motivate myself for a 12 minute workout even when I can't motivate myself for anything else. HA! and it's free so that's awesome!

I guess my confession is that this is part of the reason it irks me so badly when people tell me I'm "too skinny". I worked really damned hard for the body I have, and I'm still pushing myself in my workouts- I want to see what I'm capable of, and you're darned right I want to be in the best shape of my life on my wedding day and maintain it. I'm not dieting anymore, I eat whatever healthy foods I want and I feel great; the fact that other people can't seem to be happy for me really bothers me. FI is happy for me and always tells me not to let other people's comments bother me. My family is happy for me, but my mom is of course encouraging me to at least try to increase my muscle mass or add a bit of fat storage, saying that if I get sick I don't have reserves to draw from (no fat reserves, just muscle... which is true, but I also have medical training and I know they'd put me on parenteral nutrition if I got admitted to the hospital for some crazy reason... plus with how healthy I am, the likelihood of me getting THAT sick has drastically decreased).

I confess that I have little to no motivation to study for my nursing tests, which isn't good because I can't move to live with FI once we get married until I'm done with all of this... sigh.

Also, I confess that I am having some trouble setting a wedding date in stone because I feel like there are so many variables in life- I know I need to get over this, because there will always be these variables, and I know that I definitely want to marry my FI- I guess I just am stressing too much about the logistics.

Another confession: FI and I are abstinent- but both of us weren't abstinent in past relationships. We are both devoted Christians; it's hard to be abstinent but I know that for us, we think it's important to stay abstinent until we're married (no knocking on anyone who isn't because I totally understand that, too, and totally believe it's a personal choice)... but sometimes I worry how it'll be once we are married. I have this fear that we'll be intimate and he won't think I'm any good at it.

wow, that was a lot... I'll stop now, probably TMI.

Rethany · October 2011

Hike- I'm sorry H is away. It sucks when other people just don't understand where you're coming from. It makes you feel even more alone than you already are. I agree with ggirl. Take a mental health day! I hope things get better!

ggirl,crown, amh- I know how you feel. I go through stages where I feel so fat but I know I'm not and I vow to eat healthier and workout but I just never do. I started on no pop and limited junk food and more working out this week. I hope I can stick with it.

I don't really have a confession as much as I need to vent. FI text me today and said he has a meeting with the Captain about transfering to a different unit (about 2 hours away) where there is a job opening up. He would be doing exactly what he was doing in the 82nd and he would be up for promotion. He'd also be deployable. He asked me today if I'm still ok with it and I told him I am as long as he is. I'm really not upset about this career move. It is definitely what is best for him. It's just a big change is all. He'll be gone about 4 days a week for at least two years. I know it could definitely be worse but it's just the huge change that kind of has me even remotely worked up about it. I know we'll make it work and it is the best thing for his career. I've just been thinking about it all day and I need to get it out is all.

calindi · October 2011

Hike, if I may overstretch my bounds a bit, might it be that you're just frustrated in general right now and it's rubbing off on your professional life as well? Perhaps the fact that you haven't gotten pregnant as quickly as you had hoped is creating so much stress that it's making it difficult to enjoy other aspects of your life. And then the fact that your H hasn't been around all that much recently just adds to it.

We all have rough patches, and trust me, you're not alone in questioning whether your career is the best fit. As a teacher, though, you've basically committed to the year, so if you're ready to move on to something else, you can start looking in the springtime for something for the summer.

A lot of teachers move into administrative roles at private schools or summer camps and really love it as it allows them to interact with kids but to feel like they have more of a role in developing the education system and structure, rather than being in a classroom. Might be something you'd like? You have a ton of transferrable skills as a teacher, so you can certainly move into another field if you find this one isn't what you want to do indefinitely.

Firemedicrr - as a confession, I've got to say that you talk about your weight a lot. I think as much as you say it annoys you when people say you're too skinny, you secretly love it because you've (as you said) worked hard to get that way. I think that's fine, and justified. I hate how the news vacillates between saying a star is fat or too skinny - it's like that in real life, too. No one ever really feels "just right" based on outside feedback, because someone will always have something to say.

But also as a confession, the way you talk about working out and size and food, I do think you're a bit too focused on it and it probably is a bit unhealthy. Even the craziest diets (and my FI and I follow Primal, and have been on Paleo, and follow the basic premises of The Zone, so I'm well versed in restrictive diets) encourage some amount of moderation because some fat on your body is healthy and necessary. A medical supplement isn't enough to compensate for lower than 5-8% bodyfat - a woman's body simply will stop functioning that low, indicated by an inability to have a period, decreased bone mass (and thus higher risk of fractures) and low energy caused by disordered eating. That's someone's body telling them that it isn't at its healthiest.

I don't know your body or whether you're in that range, but I can tell you think about it a lot because you talk about it a lot. Just be careful, and if a lot of people that care about you start telling you that you might need to get help, consider it carefully.

_________________

My own confession is that I'm frustrated with FI's lack of interest in the wedding. I know, I know, most guys don't care that much. He keeps telling me over and over that he really REALLY wants to marry me, but he just doesn't care about the trappings. I get that. But I have no close friends anywhere nearby, and I'm just frustrated. I haven't asked him to do anything - I even went and registered by myself because he whines every time I mention it and I wanted it to be at least partially done by the time we send out STDs next week since our wedding website includes a link to the registries.

But then I get a DVD in the mail yesterday from a potential videographer (we were debating dropping the one we have, but we opted not to). And he goes, "Oh, let's watch it while we play Yahtzee" and I tell him, "We really don't have to if you just want to play games." He insisted, so we did. And it wasn't good, so I went to go show him the difference with the one we had hired, and he just shut down and said he wanted to play games, not talk wedding stuff. I was pretty pissed, since he's the one who said to put the video on in the first place. We've talked it out - he's not going to just reject doing something when he doesn't feel like it, but will instead offer an alternative time to do it (so I don't feel dismissed) and I will continue to avoid including him in wedding stuff since he honestly doesn't care. But that does kind of suck, and I'm disappointed.

Rethany · October 2011

Cal- FI is kind of the same way. I'm the one who wants a big wedding and he doesn't. So he doesn't really care about a lot of stuff.

We registered a few weekends ago and I can honestly say I never want to do that again. I would have gone without him but he is so particular on things (all hangers must be the same color...this I didn't know until we were registering.) that I felt like I would pick all the wrong stuff. So it was either he go or get stuff he didn't like/want.

I've asked him a few opinions here and there and he either changes the subject or just gives me the smartass or sarcastic answer ever. So I've told myself I am only going to ask him to help me with music and his/groomsmen attire. The rest I will just decide myself because asking him will create more trouble than its worth.

firemedicrr · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:fa0626d6-d93a-4b69-894c-775fb27928cbPost:dd988331-0541-4de2-8d01-c329559d1af2">Re: Confessions...</a>:
[QUOTE]Firemedicrr - as a confession, I've got to say that you talk about your weight a lot. I think as much as you say it annoys you when people say you're too skinny, you secretly love it because you've (as you said) worked hard to get that way. I think that's fine, and justified. I hate how the news vacillates between saying a star is fat or too skinny - it's like that in real life, too. No one ever really feels "just right" based on outside feedback, because someone will always have something to say. But also as a confession, the way you talk about working out and size and food, I do think you're a bit too focused on it and it probably is a bit unhealthy. Even the craziest diets (and my FI and I follow Primal, and have been on Paleo, and follow the basic premises of The Zone, so I'm well versed in restrictive diets) encourage some amount of moderation because some fat on your body is healthy and necessary. A medical supplement isn't enough to compensate for lower than 5-8% bodyfat - a woman's body simply will stop functioning that low, indicated by an inability to have a period, decreased bone mass (and thus higher risk of fractures) and low energy caused by disordered eating. That's someone's body telling them that it isn't at its healthiest. I don't know your body or whether you're in that range, but I can tell you think about it a lot because you talk about it a lot. Just be careful, and if a lot of people that care about you start telling you that you might need to get help, consider it carefully. .
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I can see where you're coming from. I guess what's frustrating me most about it is that I wish I got compliments on how I look instead of everyone still thinking that I need to do something differently. I definitely don't "secretly love it" because I feel like the more people bring it up, the more I worry about it. I am generally happy with my body (which is a first in years), but I wish that people knew that saying "you're too skinny" can be just as upsetting as telling someone they're too fat. It blows my mind that somehow it's not socially acceptable to tell someone that they're too fat and should lose some weight, but everyone thinks its okay to tell someone they're too thin. I hate feeling like I have to defend the fact that I actually do eat and I eat whatever healthy foods I want. As far as bodyfat goes, I'm around the 15-16 percent mark; healthy for "athletic females". </div><div>
</div><div>You're right, I do think about it a lot. That's a recent development. After I first lost the weight (so April-Mayish?) most people were telling me that I looked great. I've maintained my weight and have the same measurements now that I did then, but all of the sudden everyone thinks I'm too thin. That's part of what I don't understand about it- nothing is different about me from then to now, but everyone has changed their tune. Nobody said anything negative about my weight before, although I was technically slightly overweight- but I wasn't happy. Now that I'm happy with my fitness level and how I look, most other people seem to be negative about it. I guess I'm just really disappointed in that. I think bottom line is that I need to stop worrying about what other people think as long as I'm maintaining my weight (or gaining, but not losing) and feel healthy. I definitely agree that it would be prudent to carefully consider getting help if people that care about me start being overly concerned; especially my immediate family or FI. It just sucks to work so hard for something and not have your achievements be validated by other people and to feel like I have to defend myself and not be happy for me.

</div>

calindi · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:fa0626d6-d93a-4b69-894c-775fb27928cbPost:e55c8f02-b9ac-435f-be54-9bccaffb9a5a">Re: Confessions...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions... : I can see where you're coming from. I guess what's frustrating me most about it is that I wish I got compliments on how I look instead of everyone still thinking that I need to do something differently. I definitely don't "secretly love it" because I feel like the more people bring it up, the more I worry about it. I am generally happy with my body (which is a first in years), but I wish that people knew that saying "you're too skinny" can be just as upsetting as telling someone they're too fat. It blows my mind that somehow it's not socially acceptable to tell someone that they're too fat and should lose some weight, but everyone thinks its okay to tell someone they're too thin. I hate feeling like I have to defend the fact that I actually do eat and I eat whatever healthy foods I want. As far as bodyfat goes, I'm around the 15-16 percent mark; healthy for "athletic females". You're right, I do think about it a lot. That's a recent development. After I first lost the weight (so April-Mayish?) most people were telling me that I looked great. I've maintained my weight and have the same measurements now that I did then, but all of the sudden everyone thinks I'm too thin. That's part of what I don't understand about it- nothing is different about me from then to now, but everyone has changed their tune. Nobody said anything negative about my weight before, although I was technically slightly overweight- but I wasn't happy. Now that I'm happy with my fitness level and how I look, most other people seem to be negative about it. I guess I'm just really disappointed in that. I think bottom line is that I need to stop worrying about what other people think as long as I'm maintaining my weight (or gaining, but not losing) and feel healthy. I definitely agree that it would be prudent to carefully consider getting help if people that care about me start being overly concerned; especially my immediate family or FI. It just sucks to work so hard for something and not have your achievements be validated by other people and to feel like I have to defend myself and not be happy for me.
Posted by firemedicrr[/QUOTE]

I can 100% understand all that, and it makes me less worried for you. When you were saying "no fat, all muscle", I was thinking around 5% bodyfat, which would be bad news bears. Staying between 15-20% bodyfat is very healthy for a female. Just make sure you're eating a fully balanced diet, and ignore the nay-sayers. I do think people feel more comfortable telling someone they're too skinny - usually, I think it's more worry than jealosy, but it's a hyper-sensitivity to eating disorders in our society. There's a LOT of them, and a lot go undiagnosed, so try to view it as concern, I guess. If the same people keep saying it, then tell them that it hurts your feelings and that you eat a full and balanced diet and that your doctor agrees you are healthy, and you'd appreciate it if they didn't make comments about your weight.

As far as obsessive thoughts, regardless of where they're coming from, it might be beneficial to go talk to a therapist about them. The only one who can control how you view your own body is you. It would be a shame if something very healthy turned into something unhealthy and dangerous because you became obsessed with it and developed an eating or fitness disorder (yep, there are fitness disorders!).

LetsHikeToday · October 2011

Cal- I've had a rough few teaching years so I'm actually not surprised I feel this way. I am leaving in January though because we are PCSing. My principal already knows.

firsttimersluck · October 2011

Hike- You need a vacation. A long one. You need to get away and have nothing to do with kids and teaching for a while. I wonder if the fact that you and H are trying and it's been upsetting you has something to do with your being burnt out... I'm sorry work/school just isn't what it once felt like

amh- I feel ya. That's how I was right before the wedding. I lost motivation to hit the gym because I felt my time was better spent doing other things like wedding stuff and school. Focus on what you're eating. Food log it online. That's when I dropped the most weight. Remember 80/20. You can work your butt off at the gym all you want, but eating a ton of white bread when you get home will stunt that weightloss.

ggirl- I tooootally understand. I'm the same way. I think everyone is... We always want to be naked when we feel we look GOOD that way! H hasn't initiated sex in quite some time... We both know it's because he's gaining a belly and is upset about it, but he doesn't have the moto to hit the gym. H being gone a month can make yourself set a great goal! That's a perfect amount of time to kick-start your diet/exercise plan and see some results

firemed- good luck with the nursing tests! You need to just find a good coffee shop that you can hype yourself up on caffeine and study for endless hours. That's my plan today. It's hard to study without a good study sheet or practice test though, I have to admit.

Abstinence is something I'm totally against, but that's because it wasn't right for OUR relationship. You're right that you have to make those kinds of choices for you as a couple. I appreciate that you are an open-minded Christian, as the bible says to judge other Christians harshly, but not to judge nonChristians at all. I know a LOT of people that struggle with this.

Spiffs- That is a huge change... You're allowed to sulk some over it. I'm glad you respect him enough to recognize that it's what's best for his career, but that doesn't mean it's not upsetting. Maybe you can use that time to keep up with your girlfriends without ditching your Fi, since he'll be away anyway! That's kinda cool...

Calindi- You know your Fi the best, but man if my H had acted like that I would have been pissed. Of course my H was as active about the wedding planning as I was, and I know that's just his personality.
Have you sat down with him and told him why it's upsetting you? Because the fact is, it's his wedding too. Not just yours. Unless he doesn't want the whole big wedding thing... Then I guess I understand him not helping at all.

firemedicrr · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:fa0626d6-d93a-4b69-894c-775fb27928cbPost:77102f32-9d61-40ad-949b-6816676a4aa5">Re: Confessions...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confessions... : I can 100% understand all that, and it makes me less worried for you. When you were saying "no fat, all muscle", I was thinking around 5% bodyfat, which would be bad news bears. Staying between 15-20% bodyfat is very healthy for a female. Just make sure you're eating a fully balanced diet, and ignore the nay-sayers. I do think people feel more comfortable telling someone they're too skinny - usually, I think it's more worry than jealosy, but it's a hyper-sensitivity to eating disorders in our society. There's a LOT of them, and a lot go undiagnosed, so try to view it as concern, I guess. If the same people keep saying it, then tell them that it hurts your feelings and that you eat a full and balanced diet and that your doctor agrees you are healthy, and you'd appreciate it if they didn't make comments about your weight. As far as obsessive thoughts, regardless of where they're coming from, it might be beneficial to go talk to a therapist about them. The only one who can control how you view your own body is you. It would be a shame if something very healthy turned into something unhealthy and dangerous because you became obsessed with it and developed an eating or fitness disorder (yep, there are fitness disorders!).
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Yeah, thanks. 5% bodyfat... ick. Skeletons are not sexy. lol</div><div>
</div><div>I'm not motivated enough to have a fitness disorder...and I think I love food too much to have an eating disorder. haha! seriously though, I do appreciate it when it's people who know me who are genuinely concerned, but random people wanting to feed me their deep fried food ... no thankyou. </div>

calindi · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:fa0626d6-d93a-4b69-894c-775fb27928cbPost:5380d4ab-ba66-4d93-864b-dfd7c9e52701">Re: Confessions...</a>:
[QUOTE]Cal- I've had a rough few teaching years so I'm actually not surprised I feel this way. I am leaving in January though because we are PCSing. My principal already knows.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

Riiiight, I forgot about the PCS. So you have until January and then you can try something different at the next location, yes?

Teachers burn out pretty easily. It's sad, because it's such an awesome career, but it's understandable because of the lack of support and the horrible pay and general disrespect for the profession. It's one of the most important jobs out there, and they just can't attract or keep good people because of how crappy they're treated. Hopefully you find a way to fulfill yourself in a different career!

FTL - it gets a bit more complicated than just the wedding (namely, he just shut down the topic because HE didn't want to talk about it, not taking into consideration that I did!), but no, he doesn't want a big wedding. He doesn't care - he doesn't mind that we're having a big wedding, and he likes everything I tell him about it, but his eyes kind of glaze over at the details. I'm really excited by the big wedding, he's indifferent. Even if it were a small wedding, he wouldn't want to be involved in the bells & whistles. He was a big part of creating the ceremony, was excited to invite his groomsmen and our officiant (his cousin), but the details he could care less about. I get it, and it would be easier if I had more close friends nearby to share this stuff with. As it is, I feel a bit lonely for the first time since planning a wedding. I think it's cuz my dress just came in and I have no one to go with me to try it on.

LetsHikeToday · October 2011

It's such a weird feeling. I love my kiddos. I love spending time with them, I'm just over the teaching aspect.

I would love to continue to work with kids but in a more motivational aspect.

Also about trying to get pregnant- I'm doing good with it. Contacting my doctor at lunch!

:-)

divinemsbee · October 2011

Yeah, my body image issues occasionally interfere with my sex life, but right now I'm in a weird place. I've lost about 25 lbs. since May, but I'm terrified to get back down to what I see as the best weight for me (probably clothing size 8-10, that's around 130-145, my Mom would say a size 4-6 and 115-120) because I'm scared of losing my boobs. Yes, that's vain. On the other hand I hate so many parts of my body and really want to be at a good weight for my wedding day (i.e. the most photographed day of your life). Plus I want to be healthy for when we start having kids. Dieting is hard for me because I am not really a sweets or a salty person, I just like food. Getting a handle on portion control has been the hardest thing for me, and with FI here it's doubly hard.

I'm confessing that I'm sick of FI telling me he's fat. Yes, he's gained a good deal of weight since he went active last October, mainly because he had a working fridge and a good deal of his own money to spend on food. He was doing well at ASBC, but once he got down to P-cola, and had a car for the first time ever, especially once he went on casual for his shoulder, he didn't work out nearly as much as he needed to maintain his weight. So now it's like it's all fallen on my shoulders. He eats healthier and more regularly with me, but still seems to blame me for some weight gain since I keep food in the house. Especially my "treat" things that I won't eat all the time and he tells me to hide them so he won't eat them all. I'm sorry, but you're a grown man, just don't eat it all, I really don't want to hide food. And if I give him a look or flat out tell him to stop eating something or slow down, he get's a little upset.

I make sure that gym clothes and towels are clean and tell him to go twice a day, it's right on base. I don't have a gym right now because we can't afford it, so I walk and do DVDs, but he has a free gym. And it kind of irks me that I would love to have that, but he won't use it. He does the same work out he's done for ages, and he won't listen when I tell him he has to step it up if he wants to lose, not just maintain. He'll also say he wants to try certain diets (no carbs, paleo, etc.), but he doesn't seem to realize that restrictive things like that take a lot of effort. Plus, I've found something that works for me, and I don't want to mess with my metabolism like I did in high school (oh, disordered eating) and then gain it all back.

Sorry about my rant, grrr, argh.

CAB1217 · October 2011

Confession- I wish my sex life with FI was...spicier. We have sex, and a lot of it. But I really wish it wasn't restricted to late nights at his house while having to be super quiet because we don't want FMIL to hear. Seriously, I feel like we're still in H.S. It's becoming a little to routine for me, and I am afraid I will lose my sex drive over it.

Cal, I totally feel you with the whole wedding/FI thing. Especially since my FI wants the wedding to HIS liking, but doesn't want to put the work into it. It's so frustrating, but I just keep telling myself that if he were do be doing it, he would probably mess it all up, anyway. LOL!

AmandaSC1988 · October 2011

I confess that I am 23 years old and I still like kool-aid...the blue kind is my favorite.

But seriously, I confess that I am scared about life after college. It wouldn't matter but I am super motivated and surrounded by super motivated people and I feel hopeless because there are no jobs where FI is stationed. My career services at my university has 3 contacts in Jacksonville...and only one of them has jobs that might interest me...but they aren't hiring right now...at all. One of my biggest fears is being a Navy Wife. No offense to anyone that doesn't have a job, but I am far too motivated to feel comfortable at home all the time.

LetsHikeToday · October 2011

So I've had today to think...

I confess I think I sound like a major bummer lately.

Positive attitude from here on out! :-)

Here's a positive confession: I'm going to Pittsburgh on November 11th with H and I can't freaking wait!

crownsuperstar · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:fa0626d6-d93a-4b69-894c-775fb27928cbPost:55b1edef-e6d0-4c52-b8a4-88ea105892cf">Re: Confessions...</a>:
[QUOTE]I confess that I am 23 years old and I still like kool-aid...the blue kind is my favorite. <strong> But seriously, I confess that I am scared about life after college.</strong> It wouldn't matter but I am super motivated and surrounded by super motivated people and I feel hopeless because there are no jobs where FI is stationed. My career services at my university has 3 contacts in Jacksonville...and only one of them has jobs that might interest me...but they aren't hiring right now...at all. One of my biggest fears is being a Navy Wife. No offense to anyone that doesn't have a job, but I am far too motivated to feel comfortable at home all the time.
Posted by AmandaSC1988[/QUOTE]

Don't worry you are not the only one that had this feeling. Right before I graduated a good friend of mine walked in on me in the fetal position on the floor crying and saying I don't want to grow up. He said for me to get my butt up off the floor before someone sees me, put on some gloss and lets drink. HA!

calindi · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:fa0626d6-d93a-4b69-894c-775fb27928cbPost:55b1edef-e6d0-4c52-b8a4-88ea105892cf">Re: Confessions...</a>:
[QUOTE]I confess that I am 23 years old and I still like kool-aid...the blue kind is my favorite. But seriously, I confess that I am scared about life after college. It wouldn't matter but I am super motivated and surrounded by super motivated people and I feel hopeless because there are no jobs where FI is stationed. My career services at my university has 3 contacts in Jacksonville...and only one of them has jobs that might interest me...but they aren't hiring right now...at all. One of my biggest fears is being a Navy Wife. No offense to anyone that doesn't have a job, but I am far too motivated to feel comfortable at home all the time.
Posted by AmandaSC1988[/QUOTE]

Then don't be. It would suck to not be able to find a job that fits your education but... that's what most people do. With the exception of the teachers on this board, I'd bet a majority of people who studied X are not currently doing a job that directly applies to X degree. It happens. They say people have 2-3 career changes in their life - that's not jobs, that's careers. You'll find something that fulfills you if you look.

And there's a big wide world beyond career services. Get on LinkedIn, ask people in your field to sit down for informational interviews when you get down to Jacksonville, or do them now on the phone. People love to network and help new college grads. Go to networking events when you get down there. Seriously, there's a world of opportunity for job hunting, and only about 20% is at career services.

Or, alternatively, you have the benefit of having BAH and health insurance as a Navy Wife, so you can do something different - start your own company in your field, become a blogger on the subject, heck - research and write a book. Or go get your PhD - it doesn't have to be nearby Jacksonville, just within driving distance. Florida State has some great programs, and I'm sure they'd have something that would interest you. PhD candidates often get stipends and don't have to pay tuition, so there's that. I know someone who is a Marine wife right now who is finishing up her PhD in English Literature, and she lives about a 3 hour drive from the school where she's doing it. She goes every couple weeks to pick up more books and meet with her advisor. It's do-able.

melbelle24 · October 2011

Confession: I'm starting to freak out about school... I have to start applying for residency training programs in 8 months, and I still have no idea what field I want to go into, much less where to even start looking at programs or where I want to live and work for the next 4 years. I literally decided I wanted to be a doctor when I was in 5th grade, and I've never once doubted that decision. But now, I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. I've been through half my clinical rotations now, and I have yet to find something I love and can see myself doing for the rest of my life. I hate not knowing.

firsttimersluck · October 2011

Confession:
(not really... more like I want to punch something vent)
My left I started twitching yesterday, and it won't stop. I have worked out, scrubbed my face, sat in the sauna for 40 minutes, and am now holding a lavendar infusion heat pack to my eye. It won't stop. Half of me wants to cry because it's driving me NUTS and half of me wants to punch the wall.

I recognize this isn't much of a confession, but a whine... But man it's driving me CRAYCRAY!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

*sigh*

That is all.

calindi · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:fa0626d6-d93a-4b69-894c-775fb27928cbPost:027c2f54-a99d-4524-a142-7ec60f50cf6b">Re: Confessions...</a>:
[QUOTE]Confession: (not really... more like I want to punch something vent) My left I started twitching yesterday, and it won't stop. I have worked out, scrubbed my face, sat in the sauna for 40 minutes, and am now holding a lavendar infusion heat pack to my eye. It won't stop. Half of me wants to cry because it's driving me NUTS and half of me wants to punch the wall. I recognize this isn't much of a confession, but a whine... But man it's driving me CRAYCRAY!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH *sigh* That is all.
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

Gah, I HATE the eye twitch! I get it when I'm stressed. I had one once that stayed for a week and a half. Not to scare you, but that sucked. It's like you're constantly aware if it.

They say caffeine is a big contributer. Lack of sleep and stress don't help either. Not that the eye twitch makes me any less stressed, but yeah, the exercise was probably a good idea for that!

If it doesn't stop in a day or so, you could try a mild muscle relaxant if your doctor will prescribe one. That's what finally stopped that 1.5 week situation.

Rethany · October 2011

Amanda- I think that is a pretty reasonable fear. However, I wouldn't let it get to you as much as you're letting it. Everyone goes through that period after school where they don't know what is next. Things sometimes have a funny way of working out. I try to have a positive outlook on most things like this. You should too!

Also, the blue lemonade is my favorite

Hike- Yay for pgh!

FTL- I hate eye twitches. Is it from stress or lack of sleep? Or just one of those random occurances? Seems like you've done all you can do to fix it though. I hope it goes away soon.

firsttimersluck · October 2011

Oh goodness... That is horrible news -_-
Well I got a great night's sleep last night, and haven't had coffee or anything yet this morning... *sigh* this blows. I'm sure it's from stress too! Yesterday was a bit of a breaking point and I think that's when this kicked in. aaaaarg. I was thinking about a muscle relaxer.. hmm..

TeamBaby · October 2011

My confession:

I haven't been to work in 3 days and probably won't go the next 2 either.

My unit is in the field and since I'm pregnant, I can't go. So when this happens, they pretty much forget about me. I've learned how to check my work email from home, just in case something comes up. My rank also definitely helps, so I don't really have anyone to report to right now, but there is stuff I could probably do. However, my husband is on leave this week, so I've just been hanging out with him this whole time.

calindi · October 2011

TeamBaby - enjoy the time off, especially as you don't have to feel guilty about it since there's nothing that is going undone. Sure, we could all be more productive, but you're pregnant! Your job is to grow the baby. You're doing it well, so keep doing it!

Speaking of... I want belly pics from you and Lulu! She promised!

TeamBaby · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:fa0626d6-d93a-4b69-894c-775fb27928cbPost:28509a43-9d5b-45ff-b125-37ff560fdf62">Re: Confessions...</a>:
[QUOTE]TeamBaby - enjoy the time off, especially as you don't have to feel guilty about it since there's nothing that is going undone. Sure, we could all be more productive, but you're pregnant! Your job is to grow the baby. You're doing it well, so keep doing it! Speaking of... I want belly pics from you and Lulu! She promised!
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

LOL You're right, but I still feel guilty that my Soldiers are all sucking out in the field and I'm sleeping in everyday. :) I'll see about posting a pic or two. :/

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Re: Confessions...

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