Food Habits

cfarmer2 · June 2012

I'm still pretty new around here, so hello to everyone.

When you moved in together with your SO, or at any other point, did you have any conflict over different food habits?

My FI is a strict vegetarian (no fish, either), and it was mandatory for me to become one as well. I am allowed to eat fish at restuarants, but as you know that is quite expensive and not that regular. He is so worth it, but lately it's been making me quite sad to not have my seafood very often. I occasionally miss things like duck or pulled pork, but I just try not to think about.

So has anyone had to make comprimises about diet? What works for you?

Wiscisbliss · June 2012

If my husband made me give up something I love, I'd make him sign some divorce papers.

brandichamberlain · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_food-habits?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f1ec0f8e-b8e5-4af2-89e7-56358a650b63Post:ddc4e7b6-782b-4e2b-9bce-f7c707ba1347">Food Habits</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm still pretty new around here, so hello to everyone. When you moved in together with your SO, or at any other point, did you have any conflict over different food habits? My FI is a strict vegetarian (no fish, either), and it was mandatory for me to become one as well. I am allowed to eat fish at restuarants, but as you know that is quite expensive and not that regular. He is so worth it, but lately it's been making me quite sad to not have my seafood very often. I occasionally miss things like duck or pulled pork, but I just try not to think about. So has anyone had to make comprimises about diet? What works for you?
Posted by cfarmer2[/QUOTE]

Why was it mandatory? What will happen if you eat meat?

Wiscisbliss · June 2012

Now to be more helpful... Why was it mandatoy for you to be a vegetarian too? I have plenty of friends who are married and one is vegan/veggie/glutenfree and the other is not.

RupertPenny · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_food-habits?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f1ec0f8e-b8e5-4af2-89e7-56358a650b63Post:ddc4e7b6-782b-4e2b-9bce-f7c707ba1347">Food Habits</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm still pretty new around here, so hello to everyone. When you moved in together with your SO, or at any other point, did you have any conflict over different food habits? My FI is a strict vegetarian (no fish, either), and it was mandatory for me to become one as well. I am allowed to eat fish at restuarants, but as you know that is quite expensive and not that regular. He is so worth it, but lately it's been making me quite sad to not have my seafood very often. I occasionally miss things like duck or pulled pork, but I just try not to think about. So has anyone had to make comprimises about diet? What works for you?
Posted by cfarmer2[/QUOTE]

WTF.

No, I have never made a diet related "compromise" of this proportion. And I doubt I ever would. I don't like lima beans but sometimes I still cook them because my H loves them, that is the level of compromise I deal with.

Smash Adams · June 2012

Um. If it was "mandatory" or if he was "allowing" me to eat certain foods, he would no longer be my FI.

There are compromises to be made here, none of which involve you not being "allowed" to eat whatever the fvvck you want.

RupertPenny · June 2012

And what if you decided that you wanted to be omnivourous again and that is was "mandatory" that he eat meat? What would he say? I bet he would flip the fuuuck out.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

I know it's just food but it puts up the red flag of controlling to me. I can see having seperate pots/pans and dishes/flatware, but not allowed to eat it at all? Those are his beliefs and you should be able to choose whether or not to also have those beliefs. He should not be making you conform.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · June 2012

The only dietary compromise we really made was milk. I like skim, he likes 2%, so we drink 1%.

But really, that's not the same as being forced to become a vegetarian. Ben drinks a lot of soda and if he said it was mandatory that I drink Mountain Dew all the time I'd tell him pound sand.

Sounds ridic, right? Because it is.

Matty143 · June 2012

We just compromised on particular brands that we each liked for coffee, stuff like that.
H is lactose intolerant, so we don't buy any real milk or dairy creamer.

I would not be willing to give up something I liked, just because he chose not to partake.

Sorry

Blueyed228 · June 2012

I think you, Chels, and Brandi are going to get along swimmingly.

DodgersBride · June 2012

I wouldn't change my eating habits for someone else.Why is it mandatory for you to give up meat but not for him to eat meat? Can you two not eat how you both feel the need to?

LetsHikeToday · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_food-habits?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f1ec0f8e-b8e5-4af2-89e7-56358a650b63Post:ddc4e7b6-782b-4e2b-9bce-f7c707ba1347">Food Habits</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm still pretty new around here, so hello to everyone. When you moved in together with your SO, or at any other point, did you have any conflict over different food habits? My FI is a strict vegetarian (no fish, either), and it was mandatory for me to become one as well. I am allowed to eat fish at restuarants, but as you know that is quite expensive and not that regular. He is so worth it, but lately it's been making me quite sad to not have my seafood very often. I occasionally miss things like duck or pulled pork, but I just try not to think about. So has anyone had to make comprimises about diet? What works for you?
Posted by cfarmer2[/QUOTE]
That is not a compromise.

Matty143 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_food-habits?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f1ec0f8e-b8e5-4af2-89e7-56358a650b63Post:a6a6aa03-ef46-420d-92bd-eaf3a835abce">Re: Food Habits</a>:
[QUOTE]Guyths, it's love, honor, and OBEY. Duh. Wtf? Compromise is one thing. Mandating something for your spouse is another. Unless you're a sub such as in Fifty Shades. 
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

She didn't agree to the food! That was a hard limit! :)

cfarmer2 · June 2012

Well, it bothered him a lot and I knew this within the first month of dating (we have been for about 3 years). I've always been a picky eater so I didn't care for most meats that much (never liked burgers or bacon), so it wasn't that big of a deal to give those up. It's mainly that I don't get to eat sea food very often (which I love and makes up for the fact I may never eat meat again).

DodgersBride · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_food-habits?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f1ec0f8e-b8e5-4af2-89e7-56358a650b63Post:c908cc1a-af5a-451e-b2a6-7d285e6df6e8">Re: Food Habits</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, it bothered him a lot and I knew this within the first month of dating (we have been for about 3 years). I've always been a picky eater so I didn't care for most meats that much (never liked burgers or bacon), so it wasn't that big of a deal to give those up. It's mainly that I don't get to eat sea food very often (which I love and makes up for the fact I may never eat meat again).
Posted by cfarmer2[/QUOTE]

So why doesn't he compromise? You eat what you want to eat whicg you say is mainly seafood and he eat what he wants to?

AllAboutTheBenjamin · June 2012

cfarmer, if your FI wants to dictate someone's diet, he should get a dog. Not a wife.

Sorry if that's harsh. But yeah I wouldn't give up cheeseburgers and clam chowder because my fiance or husband forbade me to eat them.

Bkseller13 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_food-habits?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f1ec0f8e-b8e5-4af2-89e7-56358a650b63Post:c908cc1a-af5a-451e-b2a6-7d285e6df6e8">Re: Food Habits</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, it bothered him a lot and I knew this within the first month of dating (we have been for about 3 years). I've always been a picky eater so I didn't care for most meats that much (never liked burgers or bacon), so it wasn't that big of a deal to give those up. It's mainly that I don't get to eat sea food very often (which I love and makes up for the fact I may never eat meat again).
Posted by cfarmer2[/QUOTE]

But why can't you make him a veggie stir fry, then add shrimp to yours?

LetsHikeToday · June 2012

I don't understand why you can't eat what you like and he eats what he likes. My husband likes a lot of things I don't like and I like many that he doesn't. We still eat whatever WE want at the time.

S6ix · June 2012

If I were you, OP, I'd go buy a nice fat steak this afternoon and eat it for dinner. Get yourself a nice shrimp cocktail, too. Yay meat! I mean, my FI and I don't eat the same stuff but that is ok. Lactose free milk for me, regular milk for him. Healthy cereal for me, peanut butter crunch for him. Steak for me, surf and turf for him (I'm allergic to shellfish). If your guy isn't strict kosher with only one set of cookware and dishware, and doesnt have an allergy to carnivorous food, there is no reason for him to mandate your diet.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

The compromise here would be to get separate cookware or to budget going out for seafood more often. Do you have friends or family you can have a seafood night with every once in a while and he can bring his own meal?

Just an FYI you need to watch your phrasing around here if you don't want others to think the worst of your S/O or relationship.

It looks like this is something that doesn't bother you in an extreme sense, but seafood is something you miss occasionally, correct?

brandichamberlain · June 2012

I am trying to figure out why he is OK watching you eat seafood at a restaurant, but not in your home.

cfarmer2 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_food-habits?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f1ec0f8e-b8e5-4af2-89e7-56358a650b63Post:e5d9746c-5ea9-49ca-b1bd-9e2c40bc93d0">Re: Food Habits</a>:
[QUOTE]The compromise here would be to get separate cookware or to budget going out for seafood more often. Do you have friends or family you can have a seafood night with every once in a while and he can bring his own meal? Just an FYI you need to watch your phrasing around here if you don't want others to think the worst of your S/O or relationship. It looks like this is something that doesn't bother you in an extreme sense, but seafood is something you miss occasionally, correct?
Posted by schlagetermari[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, I think this advice fits our situation well. I fully understand for some people that it is a deal breaker, but for me it wasn't. I'm just not sure how to incorporate more of what I like into the mix. I think the stir fry suggestion above was a nice idea as well. Thank you. </div>

SunriseAmber · June 2012

You didn't answer the question. What would happen if you ate meat? It seems pretty simple to me.

arwo · June 2012

Yeah, I am going to jump on the "that isn't compromise" bandwagon. I get the final say on what I put in my body, not my husband. Likewise, I don't get to decide what he puts in his.

S6ix · June 2012

Maybe the smell? ETA: I mean why he might not like fish cooked in the house.

Starmusica · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_food-habits?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f1ec0f8e-b8e5-4af2-89e7-56358a650b63Post:ddc4e7b6-782b-4e2b-9bce-f7c707ba1347">Food Habits</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm still pretty new around here, so hello to everyone. When you moved in together with your SO, or at any other point, did you have any conflict over different food habits? My FI is a strict vegetarian (no fish, either), and it was mandatory for me to become one as well. I am allowed to eat fish at restuarants, but as you know that is quite expensive and not that regular. He is so worth it, but lately it's been making me quite sad to not have my seafood very often. I occasionally miss things like duck or pulled pork, but I just try not to think about. So has anyone had to make comprimises about diet? What works for you?
Posted by cfarmer2[/QUOTE]

Ok- first off- Mandatory and Allowed imply there was no compromise. You were MADE to do these things. For the record, your choice of words is EXTREMELY concerning. I am telling you this from the kindest possible place. Have you experienced any other areas in which your husband is dictating your actions?

VeggieLove1022 · June 2012

This is absolutely not okay. Being a vegetarian is more than a little diet change. It's a lifestyle and one that has to be important to YOU. If someone is going to be a veg they have to want it for themselves. As a vegetarian I would tell him to get the fuuck over it if it bothers him. Does he hound his parents? Siblings? Church officals about eating meat? Tell him that you're a grown ass woman and can make your own dietary choices. End of story. If he has a problem with it tell him to get lost. Seriously.

S6ix · June 2012

I'll be honest, I'm still trying to wrap my brain around not liking bacon.

cfarmer2 · June 2012

If I ate meat, that'd be a breach of trust and I would not feel comfortable with that. To be fair, he gave up smoking. That was a non-negotiable for me.

KateJ10 · June 2012

Is this 2012 or have we stepped into the twilight zone.

Giving up smoking is not equal to becoming a vegetarian. seriously.

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