What do you think?

bethsmiles · April 2010

What do you girls think of promise rings? Personally I am not a fan, it seems like a way for little high school girls to think they are getting married to their soulmate or whatever. But a couple of my friends' bfs have gotten them promise rings and they are all super excited about it.

I just told my bf that if he is ready to spend the rest of his life with me then get an engagement ring and we will start planning, but since we aren't ready yet please don't get me a promise ring - I already know you love me!

zaneopal · April 2010

I feel like it's a little weird. So you're promising to promise to marry me? Just hold off until you actually want to get married. I'm totally cool with waiting.

Seriously, why does everyone feel like simply dating is like, the end of the world?

ETA: Who said yes?

tafft1 · April 2010

Yjey are very high school in my opinion. If said boyfriend or person I was dating wanted to give me a nice piece of jewelry , just do it. It dosen't have to be a symbol of anything to come , just do it because you want to. Let's face it , just having a promise ring on your finger has no bearing on what will happen. Focusing less on some ring , promise or e -ring and most on the relationship and goals between two people I feel is much more important and more to be happy about.

BlueBoxBride · April 2010

We personally do not believe in promise rings, but from my experience they are popular with the super-religious/Baptist set. Since many "wait" (or at least that is their talking piece) for their wedding night, so the promise ring signifies that they are very serious about being together but are not quite ready for the wedding. Once the engagement ring is proposed and wedding planning can be started, they tend to have much shorter engagements (*since they are you know, waiting). Engaged and married two months later kind of deal.

If two people feel better about their relationship by declaring an additional "step" in commitment, more power to them. Their slice of the happiness pie doesn't cut into my slice.

Button5807 · April 2010

This is how i feel about them.

katanne9 · April 2010

Didn't we just have this post????

Promise rings are for high schoolers who are too young to even think about getting married.

bethsmiles · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:131fc1f6-3b94-487a-8941-5b819b5d117bPost:cd9ff2e4-7719-4728-8a27-1e25e39cdc6c">Re: What do you think?</a>:
[QUOTE]Didn't we just have this post???? Promise rings are for high schoolers who are too young to even think about getting married.
Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]

Did we? my bad...I must have missed it.

katanne9 · April 2010

Haha no worries. It was just fairly recently I think.

tafft1 · April 2010

Button i love you

Button5807 · April 2010

desertsun · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:131fc1f6-3b94-487a-8941-5b819b5d117bPost:15e0a3e1-70ab-4026-a17b-82d54194a280">Re: What do you think?</a>:
[QUOTE] If two people feel better about their relationship by declaring an additional "step" in commitment, more power to them. Their slice of the happiness pie doesn't cut into my slice.
Posted by BlueBoxBride[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I like the happiness pie metaphor! </div><div>
</div><div>Maybe b/c I like pie. Apple is my favorite. Not that anyone asked. Just felt like sharing. </div><div>
</div><div>But I still think promise rings are LAME-O. </div><div>
</div>

tafft1 · April 2010

Now I want pie..

bethsmiles · April 2010

Button - I love your button! is that what they are called? maybe not (are they badges?)...oh well thats what I call them haha...

Button5807 · April 2010

TK calls them badges, we call them buttons. :-)

jeanacorina · April 2010

I had a promise ring. We did just have this post not too long ago (maybe last month) because I told all about why I had one and how I feel about it.

Anyway, FI gave me a promise ring and nothing in this world could have made me tell him it was lame and hurt his feelings. So I accepted it gladly, and wore it for like 3 years or something.

Go on, tell me I'm lame. I don't care. FI doesn't know what women on a forum say about his idea of romance, so he didn't think he was lame and neither do I... pretty much just because I know he's always been cheesy as all hell and I love him for it.

Sure, promise rings in general might be kinda meaningless and wonky. Mine wasn't. Obviously it worked out okay for me, and most of you don't generally think I'm terribly "lame."

WTF is with having to judge the things other people do, anyway? Promise rings don't hurt anyone. Getting married at a courthouse and then telling everyone you're engaged when you're really married is something that affects others. Not jewelry and what it means in a relationship that you're not part of.

BlueBoxBride · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:131fc1f6-3b94-487a-8941-5b819b5d117bPost:aefc9d04-d040-4ec0-bc4a-6c510def8f14">Re: What do you think?</a>:
[QUOTE]WTF is with having to judge the things other people do, anyway? Promise rings don't hurt anyone. Getting married at a courthouse and then telling everyone you're engaged when you're really married is something that affects others. Not jewelry and what it means in a relationship that you're not part of.
Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

<div>I can roll with that. At the end of the day, everyone's relationships are between us and our guys only. People are quirky. People are wonky. </div><div>
</div><div>Pretty much everyone posting on these boards are excited (or should be) about their weddings/marriages. I just don't see any point in being nasty... </div><div>
</div><div>By the way, I know I'm sounding like a hippie today. But I totally swear I'm not... </div>

tafft1 · April 2010

I will admit Jeana your post brings up some very valid points. I'm usually the type that is in the whatever works for you boat , and I guess some things are just more "personal" than others , but again you make a good point I hadn't thought of before. I guess my thought behind promise rings isn't the sentiment is lame , nor is the giver nor recipient , but often it seems promise rings in my experience ONLY with people I have known are an easy out for alot of people who have no intention of seeing it through but more or less has been to "shut the girl up" about it .

Obviously YOUR situation is completely different and for what it is worth what it should represent. Obvious love and devotion and given for the right reasons. I do apologize if my post personally upset you or anyone else who this applies to.

BlueBoxBride · April 2010

By the way, I love prefer pecan pie with extra bourbon.

jeanacorina · April 2010

I pretty much sound like a hippie a lot. I just want everyone to get along! Sure, I'll let you know when I think something you say is a bit off (FH, wink wink nod nod). But I get so tired of everybody judging other people about things that don't even matter.

SO WHAT someone has a promise ring? They promise to promise to promise to marry somebody. It's silly. People are silly. But it's harmless compared to like.... everything else under the sun.

You know what I think is lame? Texting while driving. THAT is lame and should be judged.

jeanacorina · April 2010

Thanks, Tafft. I know you weren't trying to offend me.... but good grief the whole thing is kind of offensive. I love my FI. I love that he's cheesy. And there were days I felt like wearing a promise ring was a little cheesy. But I was proud of it because of who gave it to me and why.

BlueBoxBride · April 2010

Proud member of the Oprah No-Phone Zone?

I also think people that don't pick up after their dogs on sidewalks are lame.

zaneopal · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:131fc1f6-3b94-487a-8941-5b819b5d117bPost:7198b78e-eeaa-45c9-a931-ef44f9a13573">Re: What do you think?</a>:
[QUOTE]You know what I think is lame? Texting while driving. THAT is lame and should be judged.
Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

Tell me about it...I got rear-ended earlier this month by a guy who was too busy staring at his cell phone to notice that there was a stopped car in front of him.

Other than that, Jeana, you do bring up a lot of valid points...it's just that I, like tafft, have only personally experienced them in the "oh I'll just do it to shut her up so I can get back to playing grand theft auto with the guys" way that teenage boys are apt to do.

bethsmiles · April 2010

I agree that jeana has vaild points. Every relationship is different and its not my place to judge. But everyone I know that has gotten promise rings has gotten them after like 2 months of dating and then they break up later, so I guess thats what I associate them with. But I think that if it really does last and it has meaning to the couple then maybe my opinion of it would be different. I'm sorry I offended you, I certainly didn't mean to.

Oh and I do hate it when people text and drive or even talk on their phone and drive. Its just reckless really. When my little brother first got his permit he almost got ran off the road by some idiot on their phone.

sapphirebaby926 · April 2010

Didn't we just talk about this?

I think this has a lot to do with the two people in the relationship - if it's right for them then it's their own business. Personally I don't like them but a few years ago I think I would have been more open to the idea.

Narwhal · April 2010

I have a ring BF gave me. I thought it was just a nice ring, so I rolled with it. A few months later he mentioned that it's a promise ring, so I guess I have one too. But he describes it more as something to show I'm thought about and that I have a boyfriend and less of a pre-engagement thing.

I never really understood them though, but BF thinks its a nice gesture, so I wouldn't dare not wear it just because I think they're silly.

Also, it's really pretty and wouldn't ever be mistaken as an engagement ring.

sgervais88 · April 2010

Eh. To each their own. I think it depends on the situation. I usually hear it in reference to the couple being "engaged to be engaged". That confuses me because if you are not yet actually engaged, but you are engaged to be engaged, then why don't you just get engaged? Maybe its people who aren't ready for that next step, either because of financial reasons or whatnot, I don't know?

I don't dislike them though. In situations like Jeana's and Narwhal's, it's adorable

KD+BC · April 2010

Oops, accidently clicked yes. No participating in clicky polls until fully awake

I meant to say, no. They are stupid and a waste of money.

dwest2201 · April 2010

I think that they are kind of silly I admit. Mainly because I think that if you are not ready to be engaged then just be dating... if you want to be engaged but are too young or too broke to buy a ring then just save your money for a while or get GF a necklace with a heart shaped pendant or something like that.

That being said, if my BF gave me one I would wear it and be proud because I love him and would never want to hurt his feelings. Anything that he gives me is something that I consider a sign of his love for me and is special to me.

jeanacorina · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:131fc1f6-3b94-487a-8941-5b819b5d117bPost:311a40c8-aa5f-4784-96e3-4eff08c1e07a">Re: What do you think?</a>:
[QUOTE]That being said, if my BF gave me one I would wear it and be proud because I love him and would never want to hurt his feelings. Anything that he gives me is something that I consider a sign of his love for me and is special to me.
Posted by dwest2201[/QUOTE]

Exactly!

noelle24 · April 2010

I said no. I think they are pointless. There's nothing wrong with dating seriously for a while. There's no need to promise to promise to marry someone. Honestly, aside from jeana, the only people I know that have/had promise rings were high schoolers all starry-eyed about the idea of a wedding. Most of the relationships broke up in the end, or they got married straight out of high school at 18. I just don't have good associations with them.

A promise ring doesn't affect me whatsoever, so hey, what does it really matter? But beth asked for our opinions, so this is mine.

oceana919 · April 2010

If a boyfriend wanted to give me a piece of jewelry to show his love for me (which has happened to me...necklace, not ring), I would take it and wear it proudly. I just don't particularly care for the connotation of a promise ring...my opinion is, the engagement ring is a committment of his intention to marry you. I just don't see the point in promising to promise to marry you someday, but that's just me.

I'll probably go to hell for this, but I've always had a bigger problem with chastity rings, which creeped the fark out of me. If my father gave me a diamond in order for me to promise to keep my legs closed, I probably would have thrown it at him. If you want to make that committment to yourself, you shouldn't need a piece of jewelry to symbolize it.

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