Edie, I would say that taking someone's words and twisting them into what you want to read it as is pretty confrontational. I literally said:
"If you think back, I wonder if you can't remember a time when you expected a little more from your Maid of Honor than you expected from other bridesmaids. Maybe it was expecting her to write down gifts at your bridal shower, or maybe it was hoping she would hold back your hair at your bachelorette party."
I never said anything about expecting these exact things from my MOH - I was giving examples of what other people may have, at one time or another, expected from theirs. And I don't think I was too far off course.
Claim you weren't trying to start a fight if you want, that's your business, but don't pretend that you didn't make a judgement about me based on something I never said.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_half-ranthalf-what-do-i-do-with-this-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb4ca809-9245-496d-8f04-6a2a22ea83caPost:0b514fda-0513-48df-ba3b-1a466992a286">Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue</a>: [QUOTE]@wrigleyville for goodness sake it was an EXAMPLE. and <strong>@edielaura, I admire you for truly sounding like you literally expected nothing of your MOH or bridesmaids, but I'd have to say that you sound like the exception, not the rule. </strong>Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]
Count me and one of my friends as another exception to this so-called rule. I didn't expect anything extra from my BMs or MsOH either and you know what? It made anything else extra they did, that much more special.
My friend - I was in her wedding last year and I had to practically beg her to let me help her with stuff. She didn't want to put anyone out for her wedding.
What Shan said is so so true. Your wedding woes will only consume you if you let them. There were totally things that went "wrong" on my wedding day but I just laughed and moved on. It's just not worth it.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_half-ranthalf-what-do-i-do-with-this-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb4ca809-9245-496d-8f04-6a2a22ea83caPost:25e626c4-c0c6-45c9-bf7b-620445972794">Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue : A. I said you SOUNDED like a brat, and you do. There is a big difference between calling someone a name and informing them of how they are coming across to the rest of the world. B. Nope, I can honestly say I didn't expect my MoH to hold my hair back at my b-party because a) I'm not 15 and am fully capable of taking care of myself when I'm getting sick and b) chances are that if I was that far gone, MoH would have been miles past me in the drunk race anyway. C. Actually, I'm pretty sure YOU are the one who doesn't understand the meaning of the word ironic, because the pps actually used it exactly according to its meaning. Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
<div>Thank you so much for clarifying. This provides a lot of insight into my actual issue, and I'm glad you feel you can justify yourself by nitpicking your own words. </div><div> </div><div>Sorry, I didn't mean to be so ironic. </div><div> </div><div>P.S. I don't know why I keep having to repeat this but with regards to "holding hair back at a bachelorette party" it was AN EXAMPLE OF SOMETHING THAT SOMEONE MAY HAVE AT SOME POINT EXPECTED THEIR MOH TO DO. </div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_half-ranthalf-what-do-i-do-with-this-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb4ca809-9245-496d-8f04-6a2a22ea83caPost:f2d23900-e014-40a9-ace7-acf5cad630d8">Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue : I wasn't trying to judge you, start a fight, or twist your words. But it was your example, not mine. I just found it, even as an example, a weird thing to expect from your MOH/WP. Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]
<div>Just go back up and read what you said. You quoted me as saying "my MOH is supposed to..." which I did not say at all. You didn't say anything about finding it to be a strange example. It was an example I gave, but not necessarily an example of my onw expectation. </div><div> </div><div>You did not accuse me of using a strange example, you accused me of expecting something that I never said I did. </div><div> </div><div>And by specifically pretending to quote me with something I didn't say, that is twisting my words. </div>
And for the record, I am the only non-smoker in my group of friends. I was concerned that my BMs would spend half the night outside chain-smoking because that's what they do when they drink. I was worried that I would miss out on sharing the reception with them because of it. But I NEVER said anything or acted on it. And in the end, I have no idea how much time they spent outside. I was too busy talking to everyone. They're in a ton of pictures so I'm assuming they were inside a lot. It's just not a big deal and it was a pointless thing for me to worry about.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_half-ranthalf-what-do-i-do-with-this-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb4ca809-9245-496d-8f04-6a2a22ea83caPost:ca242511-6af0-4321-ba1e-35bf2eabbfa8">Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue : <strong>Thank you so much for clarifying. This provides a lot of insight into my actual issue, and I'm glad you feel you can justify yourself by nitpicking your own words</strong>. Sorry, I didn't mean to be so ironic. P.S. I don't know why I keep having to repeat this but with regards to "holding hair back at a bachelorette party" it was AN EXAMPLE OF SOMETHING THAT SOMEONE MAY HAVE AT SOME POINT EXPECTED THEIR MOH TO DO. Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]
This is sarcasm, not irony.
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In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_half-ranthalf-what-do-i-do-with-this-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb4ca809-9245-496d-8f04-6a2a22ea83caPost:b5d813b8-59f8-4853-b203-bf8442df048d">Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue</a>: [QUOTE]::raises hand:: I drink pretty regularly and can count the number of times I've puked from alcohol on one hand. So, no, drinking to the point of being sick is not "normal" edie. Nor is picking on you when several of us all made the same point. So, I'm thinking OP may not be the best example of normal. Op, you still havent answered my question. How old are you? Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
<div>You literally have not contributed anything of value to this conversation, so, unless you can tell me why it's relevant to the conversation to know my age, and how it might actually help you provide real advice, there's no reason for me to answer you.</div><div> </div><div>I have no reason to believe you're posting on this board to do anything but spout irrelevant bits of ignorance, and I'm trying not to fuel your fire. </div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_half-ranthalf-what-do-i-do-with-this-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb4ca809-9245-496d-8f04-6a2a22ea83caPost:1697172e-9588-4998-aae8-0d1359590e4b">Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue : This is sarcasm, not irony. Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]<div> </div><div>Whoa she gets it. The true meaning of irony, ladies. To lay this to rest...</div><div> </div><div><h3 style="font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;padding:0px;margin:0px;text-overflow:ellipsis;white-space:nowrap;color:#222222;font-family:arial, sans-serif;text-align:-webkit-auto;background-color:#ffffff;" class="r g0"><span style="padding-bottom:14px;padding-right:15px;"><em style="font-weight:bold;font-style:normal;">i·ro·ny</em></span><span style="font-size:smaller;line-height:normal;font-family:'Doulos SIL', Gentum, 'TITUS Cyberbit Basic', Junicode, 'Aborigonal Serif', 'Arial Unicode MS', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'Chrysanthi Unicode';padding-bottom:7px;">/ˈīrənē/</span></h3><div class="s" style="max-width:42em;color:#222222;font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:small;line-height:15px;text-align:-webkit-auto;background-color:#ffffff;"><table border="0" class="ts" style="border-collapse:collapse;"><tbody><tr><td width="80px" valign="top" style="padding:5px 0px;color:#666666;">Noun:</td><td valign="top" style="padding:5px 0px;"><table border="0" class="ts" style="border-collapse:collapse;"><tbody><tr><td style="padding:0px;">The expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect.</td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr height="1px" bgcolor="#ddd"><td colspan="2" height="1px" style="padding:0px;"> </td></tr><tr><td width="80px" valign="top" style="padding:5px 0px;color:#666666;">Adjective:</td><td valign="top" style="padding:5px 0px;"><table border="0" class="ts" style="border-collapse:collapse;"><tbody><tr><td style="padding:0px;">Of or like iron: "an irony gray color".</td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr height="1px" bgcolor="#ddd"><td colspan="2" height="1px" style="padding:0px;"> </td></tr><tr><td width="80px" valign="top" style="padding:5px 0px;color:#666666;">Synonyms:</td><td valign="top" style="padding:5px 0px;"><div><span style="color:#666666;"><em>noun</em>. </span>taunt - sarcasm</div><div><span style="color:#666666;"><em>adjective</em>. </span>iron - ferreous - ferrous</div></td></tr></tbody></table></div> </div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_half-ranthalf-what-do-i-do-with-this-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb4ca809-9245-496d-8f04-6a2a22ea83caPost:c4927944-512b-49e0-bff9-705b2f4b0be4">Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue : You literally have not contributed anything of value to this conversation, so, unless you can tell me why it's relevant to the conversation to know my age, and how it might actually help you provide real advice, there's no reason for me to answer you. I have no reason to believe you're posting on this board to do anything but spout irrelevant bits of ignorance, and I'm trying not to fuel your fire. Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]
Okay, who is being tactless and name-calling now?
Look, OP, we answered your question. Unless you want to end your friendship, dont demote your MOH. She doesnt have to do any special chores for you, she is there as your most honored friend to stand by you on your wedding day.
Throw a wild party. Expect guests to act like they are at a wild party.
Throw a wedding. Expect guests to act like they are at a wedding.
Have a little faith in your friend. And if she does got MIA on your wedding night, please understand that it's not a big deal. She's a guest at your wedding and can behave accordingly.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_half-ranthalf-what-do-i-do-with-this-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb4ca809-9245-496d-8f04-6a2a22ea83caPost:a3062db0-d402-48fa-99b3-a0139af4bef0">Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue : Whoa she gets it. The true meaning of irony, ladies. To lay this to rest... i·ro·ny /ˈīrənē/ Noun: The expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect. Adjective: Of or like iron: "an irony gray color". Synonyms: noun . taunt - sarcasm adjective . iron - ferreous - ferrous Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]
Actually, Merriam-Webster has about 15 different definitions for the word "irony." I know how to use it and I used it properly the first time. Kthanxbai.
What I will never understand is why some brides suddenly expect their friends to behave differently as soon as they're given a wedding related title. If you were hurt by your friends actions at the party, address it just as you would have before you were engaged. Expect of her now exactly what you would have before, her love and friendship.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_half-ranthalf-what-do-i-do-with-this-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb4ca809-9245-496d-8f04-6a2a22ea83caPost:b5d813b8-59f8-4853-b203-bf8442df048d">Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue</a>: [QUOTE]::raises hand:: <strong>I drink pretty regularly and can count the number of times I've puked from alcohol on one hand.</strong> So, no, drinking to the point of being sick is not "normal" edie. Nor is picking on you when several of us all made the same point. So, I'm thinking OP may not be the best example of normal. Op, you still havent answered my question. How old are you? Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Stage - To be fair, I rarely drink (maybe a glass of wine or margarita once a month at most) but I can tell ya, anything more than 2 drinks my stomach starts a churning. I cant hold my liquor at all, so I just really hate to drink. Maybe OP is the same way and is afraid she will lose her liquor, should she choose to drink at her bach ???
OP - If your friend apologized and you accept, move on. Why dwell on it?
I agree with pp, wild party=wild party behavior, wedding=wedding behavior (most of the time, haha)
I don't think she did anything wrong and I certainly don't think she should be demoted. Whether she's a habitual smoker or drunk smoker it really isn't up to you when she smokes or when she doesn't. She was considerate and respectful enough to not smoke around your family, I feel that is really all you can ask for.
As for the skinnydipping sure, it's probably not something you would want to do at your best friends engagement party, but if the party was already pretty wild, her drunk inhibitions told her that this was appropriate.
If you feel that this is a person you cannot count on, you probably shouldn't have asked her to be your MOH. IMO, it doesn't sound like that much trust can be lost over skinnydipping. Unless there is more to the story, you cannot demote her and expect to remain friends.
This is all so damn childish, which leads me to reiterate Stage's question...how old are you?
OP, it was a wild party, your MOH got wild, she apologized. Move the f*ck on. I mean seriously, what would you hope to gain by demoting her anyways other than ending your friendship? She's your MOH, not your shadow FFS, she's entitled to step away from you for an hour to enjoy herself at a PARTY. This doesn't make her less of a friend, it's makes her not a stalker.
You are taking what people say on the internet too personally. It's only going to hurt yourself.
Most everyone on this board have seen my last post. My MOH's dad passed away from a sudden heart attack 10 days before my wedding. He was 53. We are all extremely sadden by what happened. FI and I are so sad we almost wanted to cancel the wedding (FI's dad also died 2 yrs ago the same way) along with many other reasons.
My MOH is the sweetest person I've ever met. She was really excited about planning a whole bunch of stuff such as doing my flowers, decorating, throwing me parties...etc. that she volunteered to do it. I was beyond appreciative of her doing so. Now, we are not expecting her to make to the wedding. We've cancelled the bridal shower and my bachlorette. I would rather remember that I was a great friend to my MOH than a selfish bride. My MOH was going to help me with a lot of major things in the wedding, but now that I lost her, I can still do it by myself. It'll hard, that's for sure. But it's hard because my best friend isn't there with me to share the joy and that I'm so sad for her. We are still getting married this weekend, and I am going to miss her.
I think you need a little wake up call and realizing what is really important.
OP, I would just move on from this incident. Things got a little crazy, your MOH got out of line, and she apologized. I think it would be best to laugh about it and move on. No need to demote her, as that is a friendship ending move.
On a side note, I was recently a BM at a friend's wedding. I "disappeared" for about an hour into the reception because I was comforting a friend who literally had a mental breakdown at the wedding. After all of the other guests left, about 10 of us went skinny dipping in the pond at the venue before going home (I do realize this is different because no other guests were there whereas your MOH did this in front of people). When I apologized for stepping out of the reception, my friend, the bride, thanked me for looking out for our friend. When I told her about the skinny dipping, she laughed and said, "Now we have to think of something awesome to do at your wedding". Life moved on and it didn't hurt our friendship.
Now, I'm not saying these situations are identical, and I'm not saying you're not justified in being annoyed. But my point is A) You don't know what issues people have going on sometimes. She could have had a very legitimate reason for wanting to be alone for a period of the night. Your whole wedding planning process will be so much easier if you just learn to laugh about the little things that don't really matter.
Let it go. Her behavior was more or less appropriate for the setting. (On a side note: that's the wildest engagement party I've ever heard of. My life is boring.) She's apologized for whatever wasn't appropriate. You presumably have your reasons for caring about her. This is a blip. Take a deep breath and realize you're probably projecting a lot of other wedding-related stress onto her. Don't demote her. Don't be that bride.
I did expect my MOH to help me think through wedding things. I think it's kind of silly to say she didn't have to do that. No, of course no one was required to talk to me about my wedding, but I'm also not required to talk to anyone else about their jobs, dogs, or new houses. I ask because I care about them, and my friends ask about my kid, my work, and my cat because they care about me. A wedding is the same way. If you're discovering that your MOH isn't like that, then you've uncovered a problem that's bigger than her behavior at the party. Is she a good friend? This isn't about the wedding. Ultimately it's about your friendship.
Throw me into the mix of "not expecting anything except for my MOH to show up". She lives 9 hours away and is a recent newlywed herself... and guess what? I was her MOH and was expected to do nothing more than to show up in the right dress, sober, and smile for pictures... seriously, as long as you and FI are married at the end of the day, why does anything else matter that much?
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_half-ranthalf-what-do-i-do-with-this-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb4ca809-9245-496d-8f04-6a2a22ea83caPost:f17b1974-3e6a-49aa-9154-013ba5d58a8b">Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue : Like what? There's nothing she *needs* to do other then show up in the dress sober. <strong> I know this is a TK party line, but I can't think of anything else she NEEDS to do.</strong> Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]
<div>True. My MOH didn't have to do anything but show up and wear a dress. But, at the same time, one of my BM's got so drunk that she accidentally stole my purse on my wedding night, so it's always good to have expectations.</div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_half-ranthalf-what-do-i-do-with-this-moh-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb4ca809-9245-496d-8f04-6a2a22ea83caPost:c9c6a449-94e0-4d79-b692-b3ee47b92d21">Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue</a>: [QUOTE]I honestly believe that most of you are trying to help by offering your honest opinions - but I also believe that some of the responses on here are more than a little tactless. Most of you are already married or close to it. If you think back, <strong>I wonder if you can't remember a time when you expected a little more from your Maid of Honor than you expected from other bridesmaids.</strong> Maybe it was expecting her to write down gifts at your bridal shower, or maybe it was hoping she would hold back your hair at your bachelorette party. Whatever the case may be, yes the MOH role was created to honor your best friend, but wouldn't you hope your best friend would also honor you and respect you during these times? I don't think that's bratty/inconsiderate/crazy. Yes, it's absolutely a choice for her to do or not do these things, but I would choose to do them for her, and due to the nature of our friendship, I would hope she would for me as well. I am always amazed when I come on here that the women on these boards quickly forget their own wedding woes. I'm sure your planning wasn't always smooth sailing, and I wonder if during your times of need you would be happy to accept someone calling you a brat. I'm not easily offended, and I've been on here enough times to get how it works, but I'm still always surprised when women resort to name-calling just because they have to add their 2 cents. For the people who said just breathe and move on, or maybe check and see what's going on in her life...I value your opinions. Thanks. Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]
Nope. Not at all. You're justifying your remarks by trying to make others think that they were once just as bratty.
You said she IS still your "best friend." Then move on.
Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue
[QUOTE]@wrigleyville for goodness sake it was an EXAMPLE. and <strong>@edielaura, I admire you for truly sounding like you literally expected nothing of your MOH or bridesmaids, but I'd have to say that you sound like the exception, not the rule.
</strong>Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]
Count me and one of my friends as another exception to this so-called rule. I didn't expect anything extra from my BMs or MsOH either and you know what? It made anything else extra they did, that much more special.
My friend - I was in her wedding last year and I had to practically beg her to let me help her with stuff. She didn't want to put anyone out for her wedding.
What Shan said is so so true. Your wedding woes will only consume you if you let them. There were totally things that went "wrong" on my wedding day but I just laughed and moved on. It's just not worth it.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue : A. I said you SOUNDED like a brat, and you do. There is a big difference between calling someone a name and informing them of how they are coming across to the rest of the world. B. Nope, I can honestly say I didn't expect my MoH to hold my hair back at my b-party because a) I'm not 15 and am fully capable of taking care of myself when I'm getting sick and b) chances are that if I was that far gone, MoH would have been miles past me in the drunk race anyway. C. Actually, I'm pretty sure YOU are the one who doesn't understand the meaning of the word ironic, because the pps actually used it exactly according to its meaning.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
<div>Thank you so much for clarifying. This provides a lot of insight into my actual issue, and I'm glad you feel you can justify yourself by nitpicking your own words.
</div><div>
</div><div>Sorry, I didn't mean to be so ironic. </div><div>
</div><div>P.S. I don't know why I keep having to repeat this but with regards to "holding hair back at a bachelorette party" it was AN EXAMPLE OF SOMETHING THAT SOMEONE MAY HAVE AT SOME POINT EXPECTED THEIR MOH TO DO. </div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue : I wasn't trying to judge you, start a fight, or twist your words. But it was your example, not mine. I just found it, even as an example, a weird thing to expect from your MOH/WP.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]
<div>Just go back up and read what you said. You quoted me as saying "my MOH is supposed to..." which I did not say at all. You didn't say anything about finding it to be a strange example. It was an example I gave, but not necessarily an example of my onw expectation. </div><div>
</div><div>You did not accuse me of using a strange example, you accused me of expecting something that I never said I did. </div><div>
</div><div>And by specifically pretending to quote me with something I didn't say, that is twisting my words. </div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue : <strong>Thank you so much for clarifying. This provides a lot of insight into my actual issue, and I'm glad you feel you can justify yourself by nitpicking your own words</strong>. Sorry, I didn't mean to be so ironic. P.S. I don't know why I keep having to repeat this but with regards to "holding hair back at a bachelorette party" it was AN EXAMPLE OF SOMETHING THAT SOMEONE MAY HAVE AT SOME POINT EXPECTED THEIR MOH TO DO.
Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]
This is sarcasm, not irony.
[QUOTE]::raises hand:: I drink pretty regularly and can count the number of times I've puked from alcohol on one hand. So, no, drinking to the point of being sick is not "normal" edie. Nor is picking on you when several of us all made the same point. So, I'm thinking OP may not be the best example of normal. Op, you still havent answered my question. How old are you?
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
<div>You literally have not contributed anything of value to this conversation, so, unless you can tell me why it's relevant to the conversation to know my age, and how it might actually help you provide real advice, there's no reason for me to answer you.</div><div>
</div><div>I have no reason to believe you're posting on this board to do anything but spout irrelevant bits of ignorance, and I'm trying not to fuel your fire. </div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue : This is sarcasm, not irony.
Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Whoa she gets it. The true meaning of irony, ladies. To lay this to rest...</div><div>
</div><div><h3 style="font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;padding:0px;margin:0px;text-overflow:ellipsis;white-space:nowrap;color:#222222;font-family:arial, sans-serif;text-align:-webkit-auto;background-color:#ffffff;" class="r g0"><span style="padding-bottom:14px;padding-right:15px;"><em style="font-weight:bold;font-style:normal;">i·ro·ny</em></span><span style="font-size:smaller;line-height:normal;font-family:'Doulos SIL', Gentum, 'TITUS Cyberbit Basic', Junicode, 'Aborigonal Serif', 'Arial Unicode MS', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'Chrysanthi Unicode';padding-bottom:7px;">/ˈīrənē/</span></h3><div class="s" style="max-width:42em;color:#222222;font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:small;line-height:15px;text-align:-webkit-auto;background-color:#ffffff;"><table border="0" class="ts" style="border-collapse:collapse;"><tbody><tr><td width="80px" valign="top" style="padding:5px 0px;color:#666666;">Noun:</td><td valign="top" style="padding:5px 0px;"><table border="0" class="ts" style="border-collapse:collapse;"><tbody><tr><td style="padding:0px;">The expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect.</td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr height="1px" bgcolor="#ddd"><td colspan="2" height="1px" style="padding:0px;"> </td></tr><tr><td width="80px" valign="top" style="padding:5px 0px;color:#666666;">Adjective:</td><td valign="top" style="padding:5px 0px;"><table border="0" class="ts" style="border-collapse:collapse;"><tbody><tr><td style="padding:0px;">Of or like iron: "an irony gray color".</td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr height="1px" bgcolor="#ddd"><td colspan="2" height="1px" style="padding:0px;"> </td></tr><tr><td width="80px" valign="top" style="padding:5px 0px;color:#666666;">Synonyms:</td><td valign="top" style="padding:5px 0px;"><div><span style="color:#666666;"><em>noun</em>. </span>taunt - sarcasm</div><div><span style="color:#666666;"><em>adjective</em>. </span>iron - ferreous - ferrous</div></td></tr></tbody></table></div>
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue : You literally have not contributed anything of value to this conversation, so, unless you can tell me why it's relevant to the conversation to know my age, and how it might actually help you provide real advice, there's no reason for me to answer you. I have no reason to believe you're posting on this board to do anything but spout irrelevant bits of ignorance, and I'm trying not to fuel your fire.
Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]
Okay, who is being tactless and name-calling now?
Look, OP, we answered your question. Unless you want to end your friendship, dont demote your MOH. She doesnt have to do any special chores for you, she is there as your most honored friend to stand by you on your wedding day.
Throw a wild party. Expect guests to act like they are at a wild party.
Throw a wedding. Expect guests to act like they are at a wedding.
Have a little faith in your friend. And if she does got MIA on your wedding night, please understand that it's not a big deal. She's a guest at your wedding and can behave accordingly.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue : Whoa she gets it. The true meaning of irony, ladies. To lay this to rest... i·ro·ny /ˈīrənē/ Noun: The expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect. Adjective: Of or like iron: "an irony gray color". Synonyms: noun . taunt - sarcasm adjective . iron - ferreous - ferrous
Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]
Actually, Merriam-Webster has about 15 different definitions for the word "irony." I know how to use it and I used it properly the first time. Kthanxbai.
Condescending
Entitled
Judgmental
[QUOTE]::raises hand:: <strong>I drink pretty regularly and can count the number of times I've puked from alcohol on one hand.</strong> So, no, drinking to the point of being sick is not "normal" edie. Nor is picking on you when several of us all made the same point. So, I'm thinking OP may not be the best example of normal. Op, you still havent answered my question. How old are you?
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Stage - To be fair, I rarely drink (maybe a glass of wine or margarita once a month at most) but I can tell ya, anything more than 2 drinks my stomach starts a churning. I cant hold my liquor at all, so I just really hate to drink. Maybe OP is the same way and is afraid she will lose her liquor, should she choose to drink at her bach ???
OP - If your friend apologized and you accept, move on. Why dwell on it?
I agree with pp, wild party=wild party behavior, wedding=wedding behavior (most of the time, haha)
My MOH is the sweetest person I've ever met. She was really excited about planning a whole bunch of stuff such as doing my flowers, decorating, throwing me parties...etc. that she volunteered to do it. I was beyond appreciative of her doing so. Now, we are not expecting her to make to the wedding. We've cancelled the bridal shower and my bachlorette. I would rather remember that I was a great friend to my MOH than a selfish bride. My MOH was going to help me with a lot of major things in the wedding, but now that I lost her, I can still do it by myself. It'll hard, that's for sure. But it's hard because my best friend isn't there with me to share the joy and that I'm so sad for her. We are still getting married this weekend, and I am going to miss her.
I think you need a little wake up call and realizing what is really important.
I did expect my MOH to help me think through wedding things. I think it's kind of silly to say she didn't have to do that. No, of course no one was required to talk to me about my wedding, but I'm also not required to talk to anyone else about their jobs, dogs, or new houses. I ask because I care about them, and my friends ask about my kid, my work, and my cat because they care about me. A wedding is the same way. If you're discovering that your MOH isn't like that, then you've uncovered a problem that's bigger than her behavior at the party. Is she a good friend? This isn't about the wedding. Ultimately it's about your friendship.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Half Rant/Half What Do I Do With This?! MOH Issue : Like what? There's nothing she *needs* to do other then show up in the dress sober. <strong> I know this is a TK party line, but I can't think of anything else she NEEDS to do.</strong>
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]
<div>True. My MOH didn't have to do anything but show up and wear a dress. But, at the same time, one of my BM's got so drunk that she accidentally stole my purse on my wedding night, so it's always good to have expectations.</div>
[QUOTE]I honestly believe that most of you are trying to help by offering your honest opinions - but I also believe that some of the responses on here are more than a little tactless. Most of you are already married or close to it. If you think back, <strong>I wonder if you can't remember a time when you expected a little more from your Maid of Honor than you expected from other bridesmaids.</strong> Maybe it was expecting her to write down gifts at your bridal shower, or maybe it was hoping she would hold back your hair at your bachelorette party. Whatever the case may be, yes the MOH role was created to honor your best friend, but wouldn't you hope your best friend would also honor you and respect you during these times? I don't think that's bratty/inconsiderate/crazy. Yes, it's absolutely a choice for her to do or not do these things, but I would choose to do them for her, and due to the nature of our friendship, I would hope she would for me as well. I am always amazed when I come on here that the women on these boards quickly forget their own wedding woes. I'm sure your planning wasn't always smooth sailing, and I wonder if during your times of need you would be happy to accept someone calling you a brat. I'm not easily offended, and I've been on here enough times to get how it works, but I'm still always surprised when women resort to name-calling just because they have to add their 2 cents. For the people who said just breathe and move on, or maybe check and see what's going on in her life...I value your opinions. Thanks.
Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]
Nope. Not at all. You're justifying your remarks by trying to make others think that they were once just as bratty.
You said she IS still your "best friend." Then move on.