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Snarky Brides

JUST A MATTER OF TIME - AND NOT EVEN MARRIED YET!!

My poor son is going to be married in 3 wks to a woman I THOUGHT I knew.  Turns out, I was totally wrong and not the unselfish, loving person I thought she was.  Now there's nothing I can do but wait out the time til he gets his heart broken when the bloom is off the rose and his eyes are opened, and pray there are NO CHILDREN while that happens.

I had believed we got along well, her and I.  Not all the time, but was a relatiohinship worth building on because of how much I believed she loved my son.   Well, this past yr. has shown me a side of her that I can't believe.   What started out as something so stupid, I forget what it is.  Then heightened to where we weren't even on he wedding invites as parents of the groom.  To where now SHE IS INSISTING ON SOME KIND OF APOLOGY FROM ME!   So to keep my son's life less stressful I actually did reach out to her and wished her a happy birthday  which went unanswered.  And even went so far as to send her an apology card which ,said I was wrong, and if I inadvertently had done anything to hurt either of them, I am so sorry, and can't we just let the rest of the time be a joyful and happy one.  THAT, TOO, WENT UNANSWERED.   i Then find out from my husband that they did not accept my apology because of the wording!

My son has decided not to talk to me or see me for the past few mths. and when he came into the house today to see his brother, he didn't acknowledge me at all.  I have finally gotten to the point where  I am not going to attend.   I came to the epiphanyy that I can be heart broken for the next few wks and then spend 4 excrutiating hrs being ignored, hurt, and disrespected at the weddinng or come to the realizationn that whether I go or not, I will be hurt, but I don''t have to purposelly put myself through it at the weddinng.  That if I accept I'm not attending now and let it go at that, the pain will subside and I can plan a nice weekend getaway for myself the weekend of the 'fiasco.'   

The dear girl just doesn't understand yet (or she's very ignorant) that she may have won the battle and I wno't be attending, she hasn't won the war.   And I mean as much to himm as her mom does to her, and how she would feel by her not being there is EXACTLY how he's going to feel.   And it may take a while, but he will start to resent the fact that he was pushed into this, and things will unravel.

I wanted so much for my son to have a happy life with a loving woman.  I really thought he had found someone who loved him enough to, even if she thought she had a point, would put it aside for his sake.  And, frankly, short of killing one of her familymembers, I just can't think of a single thing that would warrant all that has gone one.  

In point of fact, her soon to be brotherinllaw just had surgery two days ago and NOT A SINGLE WORD FROM THIS GIRL to him.  Any present I've ever bought her has been left here.  Any invites for family dinners over the yrs when my son has been away have gone unanswered.  She's has it out for his sister and his brother's girlfriend.  In fact, I don't think there's a single thing she's done for HIS FAMILY come to think of it.

I wish this day was past and that he didn't show up at the church.  But I just think she's manipulated the situation enough to where she's totally right and everyone else is wrong.  Ah, love, how truly blind it can really be.   I was even fooled for a long time  about her, and so was the rest of my famiy  But even they are seeing her true colors slowly but surely and are having serious doubts too.   I just wish it wasn't this way as he''s my son and I don't wish this on anyone.   I really hoped he was marrying soeone who loved him.   It's all been so sad and now nothing can change it.
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Re: JUST A MATTER OF TIME - AND NOT EVEN MARRIED YET!!

  • Honestly, as a bride, I wouldn't want you attending my wedding, I think you're doing them a favor by not going. 

    I didn't notice any specifics in your post about what she's done that's wrong, other than not be in touch with your son about his current surgery. The son that she's not marrying and not related to yet. I probably would expect my fiance to take care of that for the both of us.

    I don't know this girl, and I'm not intuitive enough to read what "having it out" for anyone means, but I'm pretty sure that if I were her, I would feel completely alienated and attacked by you and your family (future sister in law and brother's girlfriend). 

    I think you should be proud of your son for standing by her while she's trying to plan a wedding and putting up with unnecessary drama from his family. 

    Clearly, both of you have made mistakes. She could be a peice of work, but it appears as if she's marrying your son. You can either "win" this fight and lose a son, a daughter-in-law, and any grandkids that come along, or you can suck it up, be a bigger person, and try your best to reach out to both of them (sincerely) without trying to proove you're right and they're wrong. No one wins these battles. If you choose to win, you will lose everything except your pride. 
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  • edited September 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-a-matter-of-time-and-not-even-married-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fe077a2-af80-4feb-a9ba-0123d66df4bePost:69d102ed-00ee-4aa9-87a6-73a8c6964c1f">Re: JUST A MATTER OF TIME - AND NOT EVEN MARRIED YET!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly, as a bride, I wouldn't want you attending my wedding, I think you're doing them a favor by not going.  I didn't notice any specifics in your post about what she's done that's wrong, other than not be in touch with your son about his current surgery. The son that she's not marrying and not related to yet. I probably would expect my fiance to take care of that for the both of us. I don't know this girl, and I'm not intuitive enough to read what "having it out" for anyone means, but I'm pretty sure that if I were her, I would feel completely alienated and attacked by you and your family (future sister in law and brother's girlfriend).  I think you should be proud of your son for standing by her while she's trying to plan a wedding and putting up with unnecessary drama from his family.  <strong>Clearly, both of you have made mistakes. She could be a peice of work, but it appears as if she's marrying your son. You can either "win" this fight and lose a son, a daughter-in-law, and any grandkids that come along, or you can suck it up, be a bigger person, and try your best to reach out to both of them (sincerely) without trying to proove you're right and they're wrong. No one wins these battles. If you choose to win, you will lose everything except your pride.</strong> 
    Posted by jpd5127[/QUOTE]

    I'm not sure about the first part of Jpd's post, but I sincerly agree the bolded part. I'm sure if you look back you are not completely without a dog in the race. Something has happened and whether you believe you did something wrong or not, she does and so does your son.

    As far as you son goes, he needs to be man enough to come to you and tell you what is going on and clear the air before the wedding. If he wont than maybe his father needs to speak to him man to man and find out what is going on.

    In the end I think you are being selfish by not attending the wedding. And you are doing nothing but driving a deeper wedge between you and your son and as PP stated forget seeing any grandkids. I feel like you are just trying to draw attention yourself by not attending. And if you show up and they treat you like crap they will look like the asses. 

    If we are way off and she is nuts, he'll find out soon enough on his own and you can be there to pick up the pieces when that happens

    And as far as the BIL thats on his brother to call and see how he is, I dont call my husbands siblings when these things happen.
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  • azdancer8azdancer8 member
    1000 Comments
    edited September 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-a-matter-of-time-and-not-even-married-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fe077a2-af80-4feb-a9ba-0123d66df4bePost:39ff29cf-3a5a-4bd0-91b3-f3702a2ce208">Re: JUST A MATTER OF TIME - AND NOT EVEN MARRIED YET!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: JUST A MATTER OF TIME - AND NOT EVEN MARRIED YET!! : I'm not sure about the first part of Jpd's post, but I sincerly agree the bolded part. I'm sure if you look back you are not completely without a dog in the race. Something has happened and whether you believe you did something wrong or not, she does and so does your son. As far as you son goes, he needs to be man enough to come to you and tell you what is going on and clear the air before the wedding. If he wont than maybe his father needs to speak to him man to man and find out what is going on. <strong>In the end I think you are being selfish by not attending the wedding. And you are doing nothing but driving a deeper wedge between you and your son and as PP stated forget seeing any grandkids. I feel like you are just trying to draw attention yourself by not attending. And if you show up and they treat you like crap they will look like the asses.  If we are way off and she is nuts, he'll find out soon enough on his own and you can be there to pick up the pieces when that happens</strong> And as far as the BIL thats on his brother to call and see how he is, I dont call my husbands siblings when these things happen.
    Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I totally agree with the bolded. Your feelings are hurt, so you're "getting even" by skipping your own son's wedding? I think you would really end up regretting that decision, whether or not the marriage lasts.</div><div>
    </div><div>ETA: I meant marriage, not wedding. My brain is tired today.</div>
  • Let me tell you my own teenage son was to walk me down the aisle when I married husband. We had a huge falling out because he was being a typical 18 year old who knew everything, but was doing nothing. We didnt speak for 3 months, in the end he was not at my wedding.

    He's 22 now and we have a great relationship and he has apologized to me many times. I still hate the fact that he wasnt there.

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  • I feel like chunks of this story are missing
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-a-matter-of-time-and-not-even-married-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fe077a2-af80-4feb-a9ba-0123d66df4bePost:891d2f9c-ac00-4674-bebb-ed75d9e7c09e">Re: JUST A MATTER OF TIME - AND NOT EVEN MARRIED YET!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I feel like chunks of this story are missing
    Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

    Me too, like a crater size.
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  • Everything PPs said and, reading your apology here, I wouldn't accept it either. I don't believe you don't remember what you did in the first place.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-a-matter-of-time-and-not-even-married-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fe077a2-af80-4feb-a9ba-0123d66df4bePost:891d2f9c-ac00-4674-bebb-ed75d9e7c09e">Re: JUST A MATTER OF TIME - AND NOT EVEN MARRIED YET!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I feel like chunks of this story are missing
    Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

    <div>This, totally.  There is wayyy more to this story.</div>
  • Just go to the wedding, say congrats, and be the bigger person.

    If you dont go, you are just giving them ammo.
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  • You are hurt by what this girl has done in your eyes. But don't skip  your sons wedding. If this turns out to be a life-long marriage then one day you will have to tell your grandkids why you were not there. Plus it will probably cause more drama if you skip and have a "fun" weekend somewhere else. 

    Be an adult and go; wear a smile and stay out of the way. 
    ~Emily~
  • I really need to know what the hell happened between you and this future daughter in law before I decide who is being crazy.
  • Oh my goodness. I agree with PPs, you need to suck it up and reach out to them. SOMEONE has to be the bigger person and set pride aside. I really feel that if you skip the wedding you'll end up disappointed in yourself. 

    And if this is truly about your name not being on the invitation as Liatris said, get over it. There were no parent names on our invitation and no one got all butt hurt about it and called me selfish and unloving.
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited September 2012
    Just go.  As Blue wrote - be the bigger person.  I'm sure there's about 6 sides to this story and we've only gotten one.

    KD - I also was somewhat estranged from my son for the months leading up to my wedding.  He ended up coming to the reception, but in my heart of hearts I know it was only because he wanted to see the other relatives that were there.  But he came.  Sorry yours missed :(
  • You do realize that unless you are paying/hosting part of the wedding, traditionally the groom's family is not listed on the wedding invitation at all.  The fact that you are fussing over little things to the point of estranging your son and future daughter-in-law shows that you have seriously messed up priorities.  Their wedding is not all about you, it's about them.  Be the bigger person.
  • RamonaFlowersRamonaFlowers member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited September 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-a-matter-of-time-and-not-even-married-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fe077a2-af80-4feb-a9ba-0123d66df4bePost:e340dba3-5934-4538-b00d-68cf9ebe8712">JUST A MATTER OF TIME - AND NOT EVEN MARRIED YET!!</a>:
    [QUOTE] The dear girl just doesn't understand yet (or she's very ignorant) that she may have won the battle and I wno't be attending, she hasn't won the war<strong>.</strong> 
    Posted by moraciv[/QUOTE]


    Even without the details, I seriously can't believe that you are completely sane and this is all FDIL being crazy when you're the one saying somebody "won the battle, but not the war" in reference to your son. That's the kind of sh!t high school girls say when like, the boy they have a crush on holds hands with another girl.

    If by some chance you're entirely blameless and this is 100% the FI's fault (Which again, I just can't believe) and this marriage really doesn't last? You're still the mom that didn't go to her own son's wedding (That you're still invited to) just because your name wasn't on the invitation. He's not going to wake up one day and think "Oh, my poor mother didn't see me get married because of a silly fight", it's always going to be "Jeez, my own crazy, immature mother didn't see me get married because of a silly fight." You're showing him that your love is conditional, and if he's not living life the way you want him to, you're not above just bailing on him.

    And God forbid, they actually do stay together and have kids? I will be shocked if you ever get to see them. Ever. If one of our parents missed our wedding on purpose, I can assure you, they would be hearing about any pregnancies/births through the grapevine, and all birthdays/holidays would be spent with family members that actually supported our marriage.

    But hey, as long as you "show them" by not showing up, I guess you "win". Congratulations.

    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
    image

  • I agree with PP..... Definitely missing pieces to this story...conveniently, I'm sure.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-a-matter-of-time-and-not-even-married-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fe077a2-af80-4feb-a9ba-0123d66df4bePost:d287611f-20a6-4133-80ff-5cc1999ffa2c">Re: JUST A MATTER OF TIME - AND NOT EVEN MARRIED YET!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with PP..... Definitely missing pieces to this story...<strong>conveniently, I'm sure.</strong>
    Posted by hshertenlieb[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.  How old are you?  High school?</div>
  • This lady is seriously crazy.

    If you have any hopes of being in either of their lives, actually apologize.  Maybe call her.  That way it can't go 'unanswered' as you say.  When you apologize, say what you are apologizing for.  Example:  "I'm sorry that I got upset about the invitations.  I was being silly.  I am not hosting the wedding and my name didn't need to be on the invites."  "I'm sorry that I got a public forum and stated that your marriage would never work".  For that reason alone, you wouldn't be invited to my wedding if I ever found out.  Just saying. 
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  • In all fairness to this one sided story that seems very lacking, everyone blames this mother, There is respect for parents whether they pay for wedding or not, as for my wedding my parents are both deceased but they were not forgotten so just saying if someone apologizes if you are not evil you either accept the apology or let them know why its not acceptable but ignoring an apology to your MIL or anybody is not the most decent thing to do.  Why on earth would you want to marry someone who does not talk to his parents who brought him up and were in his life until he met you? I would understand even they were absent parents but there is more to this story but the bride seems wrong too.
  • edited September 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-a-matter-of-time-and-not-even-married-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fe077a2-af80-4feb-a9ba-0123d66df4bePost:166f64e9-8702-4c34-b7d4-a36a460790ff">Re: JUST A MATTER OF TIME - AND NOT EVEN MARRIED YET!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In all fairness to this one sided story that seems very lacking, everyone blames this mother, There is respect for parents whether they pay for wedding or not, as for my wedding my parents are both deceased but they were not forgotten so just saying if someone apologizes if you are not evil you either accept the apology or let them know why its not acceptable but ignoring an apology to your MIL or anybody is not the most decent thing to do.  Why on earth would you want to marry someone who does not talk to his parents who brought him up and were in his life until he met you? I would understand even they were absent parents but there is more to this story<strong> but the bride seems wrong too.</strong>
    Posted by hercules25[/QUOTE]

    <div>Heres the thing, I agree that there HAS to be more to the story than what we know.  But ALL the OP could say is 1) Bride didn't include MIL on the invitation (which was the traditional and proper thing for the bride to do) and 2) did something "so stupid" the OP "forgets" what it was.</div><div>
    </div><div>Right.  </div><div>
    </div><div>I absolutely don't buy that if the OP can't even <em>remember</em> what her real problem is with her, then it probably isn't all that bad.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Also, I don't think you have to go out of your way to tell someone that an apology they've issued "isn't acceptable."  That just adds fuel to the drama fire.  If they don't accept the apology, it's more than okay to simply ignore it. </div><div>
    </div><div>I think one of the most telling facts in this entire twisted story is that the SON is obviously still in touch with most of his family (visiting his brothers etc.) but purposely ignoring the OP when he is there.   She clearly has done something atrocious enough for him to be siding with the bride. </div><div>
    </div><div>OP: grow up, call the bride and issue a <em>real </em>apology (if you are actually sorry), go to your son's wedding, and try to move on.   I don't see things ending well for you if you don't.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-a-matter-of-time-and-not-even-married-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fe077a2-af80-4feb-a9ba-0123d66df4bePost:e340dba3-5934-4538-b00d-68cf9ebe8712">JUST A MATTER OF TIME - AND NOT EVEN MARRIED YET!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My poor son is going to be married in 3 wks to a woman I THOUGHT I knew.  Turns out, I was totally wrong and not the unselfish, loving person I thought she was.  Now there's nothing I can do but wait out the time til he gets his heart broken when the bloom is off the rose and his eyes are opened, and pray there are NO CHILDREN while that happens. I had believed we got along well, her and I.  Not all the time, but was a relatiohinship worth building on because of how much I believed she loved my son.   Well, this past yr. has shown me a side of her that I can't believe.   What started out as something so stupid, I forget what it is.  Then heightened to where we weren't even on he wedding invites as parents of the groom.  To where now SHE IS INSISTING ON SOME KIND OF APOLOGY FROM ME!   So to keep my son's life less stressful I actually did reach out to her and wished her a happy birthday  which went unanswered.  And even went so far as to send her an apology card which ,said I was wrong, and if I inadvertently had done anything to hurt either of them, I am so sorry, and can't we just let the rest of the time be a joyful and happy one.  THAT, TOO, WENT UNANSWERED.   i Then find out from my husband that they did not accept my apology because of the wording! My son has decided not to talk to me or see me for the past few mths. and when he came into the house today to see his brother, he didn't acknowledge me at all.  I have finally gotten to the point where  I am not going to attend.   I came to the epiphanyy that I can be heart broken for the next few wks and then spend 4 excrutiating hrs being ignored, hurt, and disrespected at the weddinng or come to the realizationn that whether I go or not, I will be hurt, but I don''t have to purposelly put myself through it at the weddinng.  That if I accept I'm not attending now and let it go at that, the pain will subside and I can plan a nice weekend getaway for myself the weekend of the 'fiasco.'    The dear girl just doesn't understand yet (or she's very ignorant) that she may have won the battle and I wno't be attending, she hasn't won the war.   And I mean as much to himm as her mom does to her, and how she would feel by her not being there is EXACTLY how he's going to feel.   And it may take a while, but he will start to resent the fact that he was pushed into this, and things will unravel. I wanted so much for my son to have a happy life with a loving woman.  I really thought he had found someone who loved him enough to, even if she thought she had a point, would put it aside for his sake.  And, frankly, short of killing one of her familymembers, I just can't think of a single thing that would warrant all that has gone one.   In point of fact, her soon to be brotherinllaw just had surgery two days ago and NOT A SINGLE WORD FROM THIS GIRL to him.  Any present I've ever bought her has been left here.  Any invites for family dinners over the yrs when my son has been away have gone unanswered.  She's has it out for his sister and his brother's girlfriend.  In fact, I don't think there's a single thing she's done for HIS FAMILY come to think of it. I wish this day was past and that he didn't show up at the church.  But I just think she's manipulated the situation enough to where she's totally right and everyone else is wrong.  Ah, love, how truly blind it can really be.   I was even fooled for a long time  about her, and so was the rest of my famiy  But even they are seeing her true colors slowly but surely and are having serious doubts too.   I just wish it wasn't this way as he''s my son and I don't wish this on anyone.   I really hoped he was marrying soeone who loved him.   It's all been so sad and now nothing can change it.
    Posted by moraciv[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>JIC

    </div>
  • This story is purposefully vague.   What did it accomplish?

    I have to say, "She may have won the battle but not the war," only makes you sound like a woman competing for her son's affection.   It's never becoming when a mother does that - and they never look appropriate when doing so.
  • Have you paid for anything in this wedding? My parents weren't on the invite and they aren't out to get me or my future husband. If you miss the wedding, don't count on hearing from your son again until someone is on their death bed. Is it worth being bitter towards your future daughter in law over? Is this one of those jealous mom can't let go of her precious baby boy stories?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-a-matter-of-time-and-not-even-married-yet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fe077a2-af80-4feb-a9ba-0123d66df4bePost:e340dba3-5934-4538-b00d-68cf9ebe8712">JUST A MATTER OF TIME - AND NOT EVEN MARRIED YET!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My poor son is going to be married in 3 wks to a woman I THOUGHT I knew.  Turns out, I was totally wrong and not the unselfish, loving person I thought she was.  Now there's nothing I can do but wait out the time til he gets his heart broken when the bloom is off the rose and his eyes are opened, and pray there are NO CHILDREN while that happens. I had believed we got along well, her and I.  Not all the time, but was a relatiohinship worth building on because of how much I believed she loved my son.   Well, this past yr. has shown me a side of her that I can't believe.   <strong>What started out as something so stupid, I forget what it is.</strong>  Then heightened to where we weren't even on he wedding invites as parents of the groom.  To where now SHE IS INSISTING ON SOME KIND OF APOLOGY FROM ME!   So to keep my son's life less stressful I actually did reach out to her and wished her a happy birthday  which went unanswered.  And even went so far as to send her an apology card which ,said I was wrong, and if I inadvertently had done anything to hurt either of them, I am so sorry, and can't we just let the rest of the time be a joyful and happy one.  THAT, TOO, WENT UNANSWERED.   i Then find out from my husband that they did not accept my apology because of the wording! My son has decided not to talk to me or see me for the past few mths. and when he came into the house today to see his brother, he didn't acknowledge me at all.  I have finally gotten to the point where  I am not going to attend.   I came to the epiphanyy that I can be heart broken for the next few wks and then spend 4 excrutiating hrs being ignored, hurt, and disrespected at the weddinng or come to the realizationn that whether I go or not, I will be hurt, but I don''t have to purposelly put myself through it at the weddinng.  That if I accept I'm not attending now and let it go at that, the pain will subside and I can plan a nice weekend getaway for myself the weekend of the 'fiasco.'    The dear girl just doesn't understand yet (or she's very ignorant) that she may have won the battle and I wno't be attending, she hasn't won the war.   And I mean as much to himm as her mom does to her, and how she would feel by her not being there is EXACTLY how he's going to feel.   And it may take a while, but he will start to resent the fact that he was pushed into this, and things will unravel. I wanted so much for my son to have a happy life with a loving woman.  I really thought he had found someone who loved him enough to, even if she thought she had a point, would put it aside for his sake.  And, frankly, short of killing one of her familymembers, I just can't think of a single thing that would warrant all that has gone one.   In point of fact, her soon to be brotherinllaw just had surgery two days ago and NOT A SINGLE WORD FROM THIS GIRL to him.  Any present I've ever bought her has been left here.  Any invites for family dinners over the yrs when my son has been away have gone unanswered.  She's has it out for his sister and his brother's girlfriend.  In fact, I don't think there's a single thing she's done for HIS FAMILY come to think of it. I wish this day was past and that he didn't show up at the church.  But I just think she's manipulated the situation enough to where she's totally right and everyone else is wrong.  Ah, love, how truly blind it can really be.   I was even fooled for a long time  about her, and so was the rest of my famiy  But even they are seeing her true colors slowly but surely and are having serious doubts too.   I just wish it wasn't this way as he''s my son and I don't wish this on anyone.   I really hoped he was marrying soeone who loved him.   It's all been so sad and now nothing can change it.
    Posted by moraciv[/QUOTE]
    I don't for a second believe you don't remember what the original issue was.  You sound like you're off your rocker and they might well be better off without you attending the wedding.



  • I cant side with this story...and as much as I want to understand and help, YOU are setting yourself up for FALSE praise and self-hope(/pity). 

    My husbands mom missed MORE THAN HALF of our wedding because she's an alcoholic. She did what she "HAD TO" to be part of HIS day- but really, it was a show. 

    I WANT to tell you to be there....but your putrid-ness is so horrible that, as a bride....I wouldn't want you there because YOU DONT SUPPORT HIM- despite your BS story that "you want him to be happy with an amazing wife..." 

    You dont support him....do you understand that your being selfish? You dont have to LIKE her- and she SURE doesn't have to like you....
  • edited September 2012
    This entire rant makes me sick, and deeply saddened for your son. As a mother, I cannot foresee any circumstance that would prevent me from watching my son get married when that time comes. Even if you are justified (Which, with half of a one sided story, I can't say you are), imagine how your son will feel without you there. No amount of anger or frustration could ever justify making your own child feel bad like that. Shame on you.
    Praying for a miracle!
  • WOW. No wonder your FDIL doesn't like you, OP!!!

    Are you hosting the wedding? No? Then your name doesn't need to be on the invites. PERIOD. Even if you were hosting part of it, your name STILL doesn't need to be on the invites.

    You are so vague that my only option would be to side with your son and his FW. There is no way you don't remember what you were fighting about.  I can tell by your lovely rant that you prolly remember why you are no longer having tea parties with Suzy from 2nd grade! Hold a grudge much??

    And YOU are the only person you care about if you choose to make waves and skip your son's wedding. You will always be that crappy mom who selfishly chose to not be the bigger person and support their son on his wedding day. Shame on you for blaming a woman who is putting up with such BS while trying to plan a wedding. You have not presented one single flame-worthy shred of evidence to support this woman being a bad wife for your son. 
  • How could you "forget" what you did to her to cause this reaction from both of them? I think you’re forgetting to tell us something. I feel you’re the manipulative one here

  • You can't manipulate the unwilling. A short relationship with a woman (2-5yrs) cannot destroy a lifelong child-parent bond. I believe there are pre-existing issues between you and your son that are just being magnified by the current situation. The "new woman" is a convinient outlet to use to place blame on a mother-son relationship that was already fractured. Try and mend things with your son like 2 adults, the true issue is between the both of you, not you and the other woman.
    "Love is like a butterfly; It goes where it pleases and pleases where it goes" David & Roxy March 2, 2013 Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Seems like a troll post. 
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