Something to do between wedding and reception?

plainolmccarty · March 2010

I do apologize for the haste that this topic has become. My intent is posting this question was to be as polite and civil to my guests as possible by arranging something to do that was within our budget because we cannot work around this unavoidable gap. Unfortunately most of the posts on here have been bashing someone or another, and haven't been much help to my situation.
I talked to my FI about it tonight. He has his own DJ company and has been to hundreds of (midwest, mind you) weddings. He said out of all the weddings he's DJd, they have all had gaps, most about 2 and a half to three hours. He even had a few that were a morning ceremony and an evening reception. So it must just be a midwest thing. I did not mean to offend anyone on the East Coast, just that the culture is different here.

Thank you.

Lasairiona · March 2010

As has been said many times in this post, not it will sink in, just because something may be popular does not make it acceptable. There are many things that people say "it's ok because everyone else does it so it's not rude" when it is absolutely is rude. A gap is always rude. Plainolmccarty, you were also taking part in the bashing that was going on in this thread, so you don't get to act innocent and blame it on others who did no such thing.

plainolmccarty · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_something-between-wedding-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:fbfcd005-fa0a-45a2-ba93-27eb6a89b92ePost:accd9844-fbf4-445d-9cc9-a4fb18b9570c">Re: Something to do between wedding and reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]just because something may be popular does not make it acceptable. There are many things that people say "it's ok because everyone else does it so it's not rude" when it is absolutely is rude. A gap is always rude.[/QUOTE]

I agree that it is a little rude, but again, unavoidable. I am trying to be polite and offer them something to do, which is why I posted this. The reason I mentioned the weddings my FI has DJd is because if it is commonplace here, most of my guests will not think it's rude because they did it, their children did it, and they were in weddings where it was done. They understand.

I was not intending to blame everyone else for the bashing. I apologize for what I said, but when someone calls me or my actions rude, inconsiderate, narcissistic and all the other words thrown my way in this post, I'm going to defend my actions.

Lasairiona · March 2010

You keep missing the point that everyone has made: a gap is not unavoidable with better planning. If the reception venue does not allow you an earlier start time, which is bad business practice on their part, you drop them and look elsewhere until you find somewhere that does not have a time restriction. They do exist even if you don't believe it. If you can't find one, you didn't look hard enough. You are the one making this difficult on yourself, despite countless people telling you otherwise to keep looking for a different reception venue.

Again, just because something may be commonly done in a social circle or region does not make it acceptable. Rude in BFE Iowa is the same as what is rude in L.A. or elsewhere. There are people who don't give a crap and will do what they want anyway and don't care who it offends and say that the people around them don't care. That only proves that the people around them are equally ignorant to what is considered proper manners and etiquette. What you are describing with your FH's experiences is proof of that. You don't have to follow what every one else around you does, especially if it is rude and offensive. Having a gap is rude, period. There is nothing to justify having one.

plainolmccarty · March 2010

I'm sorry you feel that way. I could try and justify it by telling you that our wedding is only five months away and we've already put down money on the hall, which we'd lose if we went somewhere else. There is also nowhere else to go that holds as many people as we need and is free on our date. So, there no other option in this .. which is why I asked you all for your opinion in the first place. But ... I guess I can't justify it.

Lasairiona · March 2010

Sometimes situations come up where you have no choice but to forfeit your deposit and cut your losses. Is it possible at all to move your date to the Friday before (if your wedding is on a Saturday)? Or does your church only allow Saturday services?

luckyme502 · March 2010

You stated that people can't judge you, but they can and they will. I know I judge people with overly long gaps. It's just irritating, especially to OOT guests. My whole family is Catholic and I've never been to a wedding with a gap. It's always ceremony, drive to reception hall, start cocktail hour. No gap. Pictures should never take three hours like an earlier poster suggested, that is just ridiculous.

To the woman with the tiered reception, that is just wrong on so many levels!

plainolmccarty · March 2010

Pictures should not take three hours, I agree. And mine are not. We have pictures at the church from 330-345 and pictures at the park from 415-5. From there it takes a while to get to the hotel for the reception, where we will enter around 6, after cocktail hour has been going for 30 minutes.

jeaninemjones · March 2010

Ok... I think the writer asked what activities you could think of to do between the ceremony and reception... not if you thought it was ridiculous or if she were being rude by having this. Some of you guys are just mean.

It is her day, she can do what she wants.... In between the ceremony and wedding (and unless the wedding was in a hotel I have always experienced a gap), most of the brides had a close friend or a family member who was not part of the bridal party to either host something at their house or host something at the parents house (usually the parents of the brides home since most weddings were in the brides hometown). There was tea, wine, cookies, crackers, little snacks like that. I have used that time between the 2 as a time to check into the hotel. Usually (even though not the case in my wedding) the hotel is very close to the reception that even if you do not have a room, you can sit and chat at the hotel bar with others who are waiting. It is not really that big of a deal.

And for all those who are trying to sound like the perfect host and the most traditional people out there, some people like to wait until the ceremony to see their groom, so they have to take pictures after the ceremony... that usually takes 2 hours by the time you get out of the church and make your way to a park or wherever it is that you are going to be taking pictures....

banana468 · March 2010

[QUOTE]It is her day, she can do what she wants.... [/QUOTE]

::headdesk::

No. That it's the bride's wedding day DOES NOT mean this.

[QUOTE]And for all those who are trying to sound like the perfect host and the most traditional people out there, some people like to wait until the ceremony to see their groom, so they have to take pictures after the ceremony... that usually takes 2 hours by the time you get out of the church and make your way to a park or wherever it is that you are going to be taking pictures....
[/QUOTE]

Again, No. DH and I didn't see each other before the wedding. We have GREAT formals and we were outside under an hour. If you take that long to get the shots, you have a photographer issue.

Something to do between wedding and reception?

Re: Something to do between wedding and reception?

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