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Interracial Weddings
I'm so upset
I've been engaged for several months and the wedding is 3 weeks away. We were having a small ceremony with siblings and parents only (travel issues). My side of the family has informed me (today, now, at the 11th hour) that they do not approve and will not be coming. My FI and I have been together for 6+ years. I am horrified and embarassed and heartbroken. What should we do?
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Re: I'm so upset
This may be a blessing in disguise. If they don't approve and would have shown up the day of your wedding, it may just have ruined your and FI's day. Talk to your fiance and get his opinion/advise. As disappointing as it may be don't let anyone steal you guys joy!
Best of luck!
Did they give you a specific reason?
Don't be embarrassed you did nothing wrong and they do not represent who YOU are as a person. In the end it will be their loss for missing an important day in your life.
No amount of pictures and videos will replace actually being there. But again it will be their loss.
This happened to my sister on her wedding day back in 1994. It was not an interracial marriage and my mom approved. Things just got complicated and my mom did not show up to her daughter's wedding. She regrets it to this day!
Hopefully the people that do show up will make you feel as beautiful and special as you are.
[QUOTE] Did they give you a specific reason?
Posted by melntaitt[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>According to my mother, our marriage is against the Bible. As for my brother and his family, I don't think he wanted his kids mingling with fiance's nephews. I cannot believe she waited so long to say something!
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm so upset : According to my mother, our marriage is against the Bible. As for my brother and his family, I don't think he wanted his kids mingling with fiance's nephews. I cannot believe she waited so long to say something!
Posted by greykat[/QUOTE]
Whoa, hold on. Against the Bible in what way? Because it's a mixed race marriage? I'm well-versed in the Bible and can assure you that there is no scripture for that. There's something missing here.
My Bio
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm so upset : Whoa, hold on. Against the Bible in what way? Because it's a mixed race marriage? I'm well-versed in the Bible and can assure you that there is no scripture for that. There's something missing here.
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]
This!
How does your FI feel about it?
[QUOTE]I know! But it's nothing new. Some <strong>southern Christians </strong>havee been using the Bible for years to justify slavery and then discrimination and segregation.
Posted by greykat[/QUOTE]
Just to clarify, they may CLAIM to be Christians...but they're not. A true Christian recognizes that this is wrong & is not condoned by the Bible.
My Bio
[QUOTE]I'm just so angry and hurt and embarrassed. Thank you for your support.
Posted by greykat[/QUOTE]
I can imagine how you feel. DH's mother was supposed to fly with us and abandoned us at the airport without warning the day of! We were just waiting and waiting for her, trying to get ahold of her cell phone and then when we finally do she says she just didn't "feel like it".
DH was really mortified as he had nobody in his family to stand up for him at our wedding, but my family didn't care about that at all, and went out of their way to make him feel welcome. I'm sure your FI's family will accept you both even if your family won't. You may not be able to change how your family feels, and it's sad they can't get over their own prejudices to welcome your FI, but don't let it ruin your day or your love for each other. :)
[QUOTE]I'm just so angry and hurt and embarrassed. Thank you for your support.
Posted by greykat[/QUOTE]
My heart goes out to you. My FI's family-- both Mom and Dad don't talk to me at all, and it wasn't until recently that his mom even started talking to him.
You shouldn't be embararassed. Hurt and angry, absolutely, but you have done nothing wrong.
Focus on your intent here. You intend to marry the love of your life. If at the end of the day you have achieved that, you are on the right track.
Chin Up, Cheeks Up. <3
Since they won't be showing up, and I assume that you've already paid their way in the wedding, do you two have some close friends you'd like to invite, to take their place?