In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing

Birdie1483 · April 2011

Sesh, I don't think you have an unhealthy attachment. I think what you're feeling is very normal. I don't think I'd cope very well if I knew Oz was sick and didn't think he'd make it very long. ::hugs::

cengle · April 2011

I confess that I genuinely do need to work out more and diet and lose weight, but I have no motivation to do so. I hate the gym. I hate dieting. But I love baking. It's a problem.
I'm trying SO hard to want to do it, and I just...don't.

Trifury2007 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:e6f474a2-812f-4361-bf83-8812f9647e51">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]I confess the KPS about not having kids and being selfish pissed me off in a major way. I think it's far more mature and unselfish to realize you aren't mommy material and refrain from having kids.
Posted by Meg1979[/QUOTE]

This Isn't it better to know this about yourself and not have children.

LDYGTR13 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:54214cfc-1990-407f-9196-06639eb881be">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]I confess that the KPS about having a mother who has depression, and of having depression and afraid of being a shiitty mother to my kids, is mine. I confess that I spend long hours with a counselor being afraid about it. <strong>I also "confess" that I PM'd LDY after she said that the person who sent in the KPS should PM her...and she made me feel better about it. And that she is awesome.</strong>
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3!

You're awesome =)

opalsky007 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:274ff66d-7668-4a47-8322-fd946d1ed216">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]I know cfa! I have the commute from hell. But I make great money here but I'm over it. I want more time not more money at this point in my life. And you know what else? <strong>I am terrified about the radioactive iodine from Japan that has been found in the rainwater in PA. I don't care how many experts say it won't harm me. I worry about the dogs drinking the rain water and somehow contaminating the drinking water. I've been taking a Kelp supplement for a few weeks now to keep my thyroid filled with good iodine so it won't absorb the bad. ::puts on tin foil hat::</strong>
Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]

<div>You're not alone, but seriously: we can detect this stuff at millions of times below levels which would actually harm anyone. The fact that we're detecting it doesn't mean it's a problem. There is radioactive potassium in higher amounts in bananas, but we're not going to stop eating bananas anytime soon.</div>

waltzingmatilda13 · April 2011

**Hugs** for Birdie. I watch my H go through this every year (his dad died when DH was 7) and I feel bad because my sister's birthday is the exact same day. It was always a happy day for my family and a sad day for his and it's hard to find a balance.

Sesh, I don't think it's unhealthy. You love him and he loves you. I think it's natural to feel an attachment.

Good luck Pink! I have a 10 mile commute. I could never do 75, even 30 hurts to think about.

sarahmi5308 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:9e3cc816-4344-47e4-84d2-5dbe5c0aa90d">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]I confess that I genuinely do need to work out more and diet and lose weight, but I have no motivation to do so. I hate the gym. I hate dieting. But I love baking. It's a problem. I'm trying SO hard to want to do it, and I just...don't.
Posted by cengle[/QUOTE]

This exactly.... It doesn't help that FI loves me no matter what, we met at my heaviest, I dropped lots of weight for my BFF's wedding... and it slowly crept back on. I just don't want to start dieting/gym.

scottswife1106 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:79d625d5-eb6e-435c-b285-72ac0ba678f9">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]On a vein from the kids discussion: I confess that I feel like my parents pay more attention to my sister, because she has a daughter, than they do me. Last year they visited her in NY 4 times (a 10 hour drive) and me once (a little over an hour drive), including over Christmas which I couldn't attend. It makes me feel left out and not loved just because I haven't given birth. I also confess that I know I'm going to be resentful when I do have kids and they want to visit all the time when they previously seemed to not care. It'll be all about the baby and not so much about me. This is part of the reason why we have already decided that when we do have kids we're not calling anyone until the delivery is over. Then I can have an hour with my new family before everyone comes to hold the baby.
Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]

My sister felt the same way when I had my son and no problem telling me. My mom did everything for my son, because I was still in college and needed the help because his father was/is a deadbeat. My sister HATED the role that my mom played in his life but she had to suck it up because he was her grandchild and was not going to see him go without.

Babies are new and fun. Don't think that your parents love you less because you are their child and I am sure they would not trade you for anything. But a grandparent/grandchild bond is a powerful thing. ((((hugs)))))

pinkpinot · April 2011

I know it's completely irrational Opal but I can't help it. I know it's there because our local paper keeps talking about it and it scares me.

scottswife1106 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:f7a5277f-3df3-4ada-997c-9d93fff8283b">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]Scottswife -- I was totally shocked last week. I figure it was definitely going to be Stefan once they got down to the bottom two. I bet the judges are pissed they used their save on Casey now. This show is cleary run by over-hormonal teen girls.
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

Yeah, you could see that Randy knew that they had made a mistake with that save. Hell, I knew it. Pia will be fine. Someone will give her a chance and plus they still have the tour.

mandapanda78 · April 2011

I confess that although I'm perfectly comfortable being overweight, I get self concious when I hear other people talk about THEIR weight. I'm not trying to spotlight anyone, but I honestly wonder now if when I hang with cfas she's sitting there thinking "Omg fatty fatty fatty fatty fatty."

Also I confess that my issues with my family are slowly amplifying now that I'm spawning. I sometimes wish I could fake my own death so they'd leave me alone. My dad passed away ten years ago and I've felt ever since that all of us are just pretending to like eachother for some weird reason. I don't have the energy to pretend anymore and I don't want their toxicity around my child. I wish they'd just go away.

baystateapple · April 2011

Manda

I'm sorry. H's father is like that. I've already told him that under no circumstances do I want his father in our childrens' lives, and he agrees with me. I don't want to have to explain to our kids that Grandpa doesn't like them one day because they suddenly did something that he thinks is wrong (that's why he stopped speaking to H, because he was in a play with the Gay-Straight Alliance at his school and his father called him a "godless homosexual". Asshat)

RobotLegs · April 2011

Manda, I feel exactly the same way. When i see all of these women on here who are worried about being like 5 lbs overweight, I can't imagine what they must think of my fatass.

Then again, I don't particularly care.

Oh, and about your family... you guys should just move to Utah. Voila!

waltzingmatilda13 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:3e86ba53-334e-4512-988b-41667512bcbd">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing : My sister felt the same way when I had my son and no problem telling me. My mom did everything for my son, because I was still in college and needed the help because his father was/is a deadbeat. My sister HATED the role that my mom played in his life but she had to suck it up because he was her grandchild and was not going to see him go without. Babies are new and fun. Don't think that your parents love you less because you are their child and I am sure they would not trade you for anything. But a grandparent/grandchild bond is a powerful thing. ((((hugs)))))
Posted by scottswife1106[/QUOTE]

Yeah, that doesn't really make me feel any better. I get what you're saying, but you haven't been on the other side of that coin. And my sister doesn't need help. Her H is a stay-at-home dad (he works nights) and his parents live 5 miles down the road. It's the fact that they will travel 10 hours to visit for a weekend, but can't drive 60 minutes to have dinner with us.

cengle · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:9602ffee-6779-40df-8209-9fd8fc372062">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]I confess that although I'm perfectly comfortable being overweight, I get self concious when I hear other people talk about THEIR weight. I'm not trying to spotlight anyone, but I honestly wonder now if when I hang with cfas she's sitting there thinking "Omg fatty fatty fatty fatty fatty."
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

I kind of feel this way too. I'm the same or similar height to some of the girls that have posted their weight. I will not post my weight. It's..uh...a bit higher than the rest of the girls! (I'm 5'3)

And I KNOW that people are their own worst critic, but I still sometimes think when I hear a skinny girl say "Oh, I'm fat," well, holy hell, what does she think about me?

Stackeye210 · April 2011

I confess that I'm disappointed we're not moving. However, I know in my head that the opportunities will be available to Mr Stack here very soon and we'll be way better off. I'm not even sure if I only cared about the move because I want a change of scenary.

We did decide that we're moving out of our house in August so at least I have that to look forward to.

I send hugs to all you body image girls. I completely understand why and how you feel the ways that you do. Some days I feel so hopeless b/c pregnancy was not nice on me, so it doesn't matter how much weight I lose I'll always have body issues.

Also. I think people who question having kids, and take the time to explore their options and desires regarding the matter would be the best parents in the end. I would never call anyone selfish for deciding not to have a kid. To me that's the most unselfish decision you could make.

Also. Nuggs. I was (am) really worried about having a biracial kid. When we were contemplating our move I had to actually look things up like are there black people in this community - I even checked pictures on daycare websites to see if their were kids of different races. I know how I personally view myself and others, but I know not everyone thinks that way. It makes the world a scary place. Jocelyn is just recently starting to identify herself with a race. She has been telling me recently that I'm white and she is brown and daddy is black. She even made me change her Wii Mii person to brown before she would use it. She is also choosing the baby dolls she plays with that identify more with herself. Right at this point is the most critical point I'm dealing with as a parent b/c it's up to me to make her feel ok about the differences and teach her that not one is better than the other. It's the hardest thing b/c you just don't know if you're doing it right. You know what I mean?

[Deleted User] · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:f7a5277f-3df3-4ada-997c-9d93fff8283b">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]Scottswife -- I was totally shocked last week. I figure it was definitely going to be Stefan once they got down to the bottom two. I bet the judges are pissed they used their save on Casey now. This show is cleary run by over-hormonal teen girls.
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

I was surprised but not sorry to see her go. She's got a great voice and is talented, but she's boring. And in some of her interviews comes off as a snot. When she got voted off, H said, "Well, I guess that proves that showing off your boobs in a push-up bra doesn't save you from elimination," which I found funny.

Honestly, I'm surprised that people are shocked. That's Idol, the teeny-bopper girls are voting so of course the girls go first. I hate Stefano and want him to go, but he's cute so he'll stay a little longer, I'm sure.

Also, the judges pissed me off when Pia was eliminated. They basically said she was the best, which I'm sure made everyone else feel like shiit. The whole fawning over her was over the top. And they let her sing! So unfair, Thia and the other girl (I can't spell her name) didn't get to sing. Bet the person who are voted off tomorrow won't either. I found it absurd.

annakb8 · April 2011

Well I know for me the weight thing is totally personal. I'm only worried about myself, not anyone else. And I know that for the most part I'm being totally and completely irrational about the whole subject in general so I admire those who are rational about it and can feel comfortable with themselves.

Birdie1483 · April 2011

maltida, I was going to tell you that I feel the same way about my mom and my niece. I love my niece more than anything, but it can sometimes get to me how much I think my mom favors my bro and SIL now because of her. I felt like she kind of favored them to begin with, but now EVERYTHING is about my niece.

Everything right now is about showing off the baby. And I admit that I'm slightly worried that my mom will be more excited and preoccupied showing off the baby to her friends at my wedding than to show off me. I know when the time comes I"ll be so busy I won't care, but still. The first time she saw me after we got engaged was when we went up to visit family and barely anyone paid attention to me at first. I was kind of bummed because I was so excited about my own news.

Everyone can commence throwing rotten tomatoes at me now because I know that sounded very snotty.

scottswife1106 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:f4281554-3f86-499d-b3fc-ecf2e28f85bf">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing : Yeah, that doesn't really make me feel any better. I get what you're saying, but you haven't been on the other side of that coin. And my sister doesn't need help. Her H is a stay-at-home dad (he works nights) and his parents live 5 miles down the road. It's the fact that they will travel 10 hours to visit for a weekend, but can't drive 60 minutes to have dinner with us.
Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]

Do you guys invite them to come by and they decline? Or do you wait to see if they are going to voluntarily come for a visit?

[Deleted User] · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:9602ffee-6779-40df-8209-9fd8fc372062">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]I confess that although I'm perfectly comfortable being overweight, I get self concious when I hear other people talk about THEIR weight. I'm not trying to spotlight anyone, but I honestly wonder now if when I hang with cfas she's sitting there thinking "Omg fatty fatty fatty fatty fatty."Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

It's not like that at all, at least not for me. I think body image issues are completely personal and don't necessarily reflect how a person sees someone else. For example, my mom constantly says she is fat and needs to lose weight, and worries how people perceive her weight, and I don't see it at all. She looks beautiful to me. Just because someone has an issue with how they look doesn't mean they are judging everyone else for what they weigh.

alixzafiris · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:0eebde11-b5cb-4796-977c-8ad0f430d4dc">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]i have no idea how people do it either. <strong>kudus to them. </strong>
Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]

This made me giggle. Mandy... this is a kudu...

<img src="http://<a href=">www.quantum-conservation.org/ESB/LesserKudu.gif</a>" alt="http://<a href="http://www.quantum-conservation.org/ESB/LesserKudu.gif" rel='nofollow'>www.quantum-conservation.org/ESB/LesserKudu.gif</a>" />

Carry on. I'm catching up ;)

mandapanda78 · April 2011

Bay and I was going to PM or FB you but I thought maybe this would help other people with the same issues: my mother has crippling, overwhelming depression. I was diagnosed with it, too. But here's the difference: I know I have a disease and I choose to do something about it. I'm aware of my actions, I discuss it with the people around me. I'm 32 and I've already come so much farther than she has managed to at 62. Being aware is truly more than half the battle. Depression won't make you a bad mom because you won't LET IT. And talking about it with people around you means you're forming a little team of people who won't let you let it, either.

Stackeye210 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:9602ffee-6779-40df-8209-9fd8fc372062">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]Also I confess that my issues with my family are slowly amplifying now that I'm spawning. I sometimes wish I could fake my own death so they'd leave me alone. My dad passed away ten years ago and I've felt ever since that all of us are just pretending to like eachother for some weird reason. I don't have the energy to pretend anymore and I don't want their toxicity around my child. I wish they'd just go away.
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

Oy. No statement has ever been more true to form within my life! My dad was like the peacekeeper in the family. He kept my oldest sister kind of in the loop and made her bearable. So when he died I kind of took on the peace keeper role in the family. We have all faked it with my sister but I'm at the point where enough is enough. A piece of sh*t will always stink like sh*t and nothing has changed with her. She's about 2 seconds away from getting told off and then cut off.

I told my mom about a month ago that we have nothing to feel guilty about. We tried for 6 years now to keep her in the family and the choices she has made keep her on the outside. We can honestly say, "dad, we gave it a good try, but it just doesn't work".

missy68 · April 2011

Going back to being worried about weight, I've finally hit a stable point. This is where I was when I first moved to Iowa; I gained 15-20 when I moved here and then I've lost it again.
People keep asking me if I've lost weight. This summer, we were all (J and me, brother, SIL, Andy) at my parents, and I was in a knee brace from a bizarre bike "thing" - not an accident. It was well over 100, we walked around The Stockyards and I got heat exhaustion. I went to lie down, everyone else got in the pool. So my mom's all worried about me being sick, etc. and throws in I'm too thin. WTF? I'm not even at the lower end of the weight for my height.
I showed her on some of my meds that heat/sun can be a problem and cause HE (no sweating, red face, super hot, tired, dizzy, etc), which is what the problem was. So she's been on my case about getting all this bloodwork done.
Once I did that, I miraculously don't look ill/too thin anymore. I'm anemic, but no thyroid problems, etc.
And now my coworker is doing it too. No, I'm just wearing clothes that fit, and I'm not wearing layer upon layer because its -10 degrees.

Sorry. I don't think that was a confession. I think that was a rant.

My confession would be more that I go back and forth on wanting children, but J is pretty set against them, for a practical reason - our ages. He says if we were 10 years younger, it would be one thing. And logic/past history tells me I would have difficulty getting pregnant, and because of the age, I'm at this point not willing to do IVF, etc. In my 20s/30s, yes. But it does some days frustrate me. Usually when I see pictures of Andy and Chris, or see my pregnant friends. I get the sads.

hlq2011 · April 2011

I confess that I'm terrified that instead of enjoying my wedding day, I'm going to be bawling my eyes out because my dad isn't there. It will be three days before the one year anniversary of his death, and I'm really scared I won't be able to focus on what the day is about.

mica178 · April 2011

I want to send e-hugs to everyone!

I confess that my husband hates that I knot. He thinks it's weird that I spend so much time talking with people I've never met. If only he knew how nice it is to have such a supportive community of women available throughout the day.

I confess that I have horrible body dysmorphia. I saw my doctor yesterday, and I realized that I've gained weight in the last year. She reassured me that I'm normal weight, but I'm so used to being underweight, I have this complex now.

I'll admit that one of the reasons I'm happy to put off childbearing is that I'm scared of what it'll do to my body (okay, so that's a selfish reason not to have kids). Of course, I'm also putting it off because I just don't think H is ready to have more responsibility. He's got barely controlled ADD and depression, and I can't imagine adding another stressor into our lives at this time. I'm barely holding it together for the two of us, I can't imagine throwing a helpless infant into the mix.

waltzingmatilda13 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:8701481a-2a0e-4fbe-97f7-a7071a128ac7">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing : Do you guys invite them to come by and they decline? Or do you wait to see if they are going to voluntarily come for a visit?
Posted by scottswife1106[/QUOTE]

We tell them all the time to come. Both sides of the family. We ask them to come have dinner and they don't have time. Other times we find out after the fact that they (his mom and sister) drove by twice and didn't even call to see us.

Birdie, I completely understand how you feel and I don't think what you said was snotty. I felt the same way at our wedding because 1 niece was the FG (at 21 months old) and the other was only 3 months old and hadn't met anyone in the family yet. I didn't notice at all and I completely embraced the fact that they would get attention and it made me feel so much better to not worry about it. I even joked that they only other person who could wear ivory (or white) was my niece/FG because she was going to get all the attention anyways.

It's a valid concern, especially if you feel side-lined already.

LDYGTR13 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:b05abd6f-f023-4b52-b31f-af23476f4b16">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]Bay and I was going to PM or FB you but I thought maybe this would help other people with the same issues: my mother has crippling, overwhelming depression. I was diagnosed with it, too. But here's the difference: I know I have a disease and I choose to do something about it. I'm aware of my actions, I discuss it with the people around me. I'm 32 and I've already come so much farther than she has managed to at 62. Being aware is truly more than half the battle. Depression won't make you a bad mom because you won't LET IT. And talking about it with people around you means you're forming a little team of people who won't let you let it, either. <3
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

Good lord, you wrote that so well. I might steal that. BAY - listen to the Panda. Panda knows all.

NuggetBrain · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:6e68c17f-17b9-4a16-a433-4614cdb685b3">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE] Also. Nuggs. I was (am) really worried about having a biracial kid. When we were contemplating our move I had to actually look things up like are there black people in this community - I even checked pictures on daycare websites to see if their were kids of different races. I know how I personally view myself and others, but I know not everyone thinks that way. It makes the world a scary place. Jocelyn is just recently starting to identify herself with a race. She has been telling me recently that I'm white and she is brown and daddy is black. She even made me change her Wii Mii person to brown before she would use it. She is also choosing the baby dolls she plays with that identify more with herself. Right at this point is the most critical point I'm dealing with as a parent b/c it's up to me to make her feel ok about the differences and teach her that not one is better than the other. <strong>It's the hardest thing b/c you just don't know if you're doing it right. You know what I mean?
</strong>Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

God yes. I'd constantly be afraid that I was causing them to ignore their "white side" or that I was somehow surpressing their "black side"....it's a fine line to walk. And as much as I adore Noodle, he doesn't have the most varied world view. It doesn't matter to him that I'm black, or that our child would be half-black, but I could definately see some issues when the kid starts self-identifying. He doesn't really know anything about black culture and I don't think he'd know how to deal with it if our kid got called a name or wanted to know why he was a different color than them and stuff.

His father straight up told me that he understands what my grandparents went through in regards to discrimination because "he had long hair when he was younger and couldn't get raises at his job because of it." So I already know that his parents and I would have issues in regards to the kid.

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