Tuesday Questions

lalaith50 · June 2012

I actually prefer to receive on the tongue, but... I was having lots of uncomfortable experiences at masses where communion on the tongue was NOT the norm, where the priest or layperson would accidentally touch my tongue with their fingers- gross! - (but that would never happen at an EF mass or with priests who were very "traditionally" minded and gave communion like that a lot- so I don't think it was that *I* was doing it "wrong!") And then to top it off, I got TMJ last fall and since then can literally barely even open my mouth wide enough to stick two fingers in, (making tongue-touching even more likely...) and so I just decided for now at least, it's not worth it to try to receive on the tongue, except with a priest who I know is good at that. :-(

Resa77 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_tuesday-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:c385215a-1544-4bbf-8e64-f2bc871d2699Post:d4ed43ff-62e0-44d0-ba3a-e577d6ce05b7">Re: Tuesday Questions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tuesday Questions : I think the problem in recent years is that some modernists will attempt to pit obedience and tradition against one another when it's not actually the case. The manner of receiving Communion is one example. The norm of the Church is still to receive kneeling and on the tongue, while receiving in the hand is a special indult we have that came about after people were already widely disobedient and that could be taken away at any time. However, there are priests who will tell you you're being disobedient if you attempt to receive kneeling/on the tongue, even though the Pope has said it is our right to do so. Same with the altar orientation--the norm is still ad orientem (priest facing east/the tabernacle/God) and in fact the rubrics of the Novus Ordo are written with that assumption. But nobody knows this, and (for example) we know of a priest who says the NO exclusively ad orientem and a lot of people--faithful Catholics--will say "Is that allowed?!?!?" When it fact it is versus populem (facing the people) that is currently allowed but could be disallowed tomorrow. (Not that I think it will...but I can dream! Haha) All that said...the SSPX situation is sad, but I can understand why they did what they did. However God can bring good out of everything as the FSSP were formed as a response to the disobedience of SSPX.
Posted by caitriona87[/QUOTE]

It's odd...my diocese doesn't allow kneeling for receiving communion. My Catholic school was not a parish-run school, and we always received kneeling, communion-rail style (though there was no rail....just people would kneel side-by-side along the front of the "pews" aka folding chairs to receive). Well, the bishop got wind of it and requested that we stop doing that, so we did. They said it was important for everyone to do things the same, and since none of the churches have communion rails, it isn't practical to receive kneeling and therefore we must all receive standing. It never happens anymore, but when I was younger some people would get to the front of the line and kneel, or even just genuflect. The priests made TONS of announcements to stop doing that -- they said that it is proper to bow just before receiving. I've actually never been to a church in the US where more than a person or two knelt for communion, so I figured it was something that the bishops decided against. That's a good point you make -- in my example, it seems the bishop made it look like my school was being disobedient and anti-unity by doing things according to norms rather than exceptions!

agapecarrie · June 2012

The norm in the united states is to receive standing, with a slight bow before doing so. People that kneel should not be denied communion.

caitriona87 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_tuesday-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:c385215a-1544-4bbf-8e64-f2bc871d2699Post:5e5b225a-bdfa-4c01-b77b-955a15e6676a">Re: Tuesday Questions</a>:
[QUOTE]The norm in the united states is to receive standing, with a slight bow before doing so. People that kneel should not be denied communion.
Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]

This is true, I am sorry if I made it sound otherwise...to clarify I was referring to the universal norm. I have a tendency to focus on the second part because my husband has had some pretty awful treatment by priests over this issue, sadly, despite the fact that he has always obeyed immediately if asked to stand.

I also think this is an area where our Holy Father is attempting to lead us by example as Communion is received kneeling & on the tongue at his Masses.

Resa, that is interesting. That situation could be taken to the CDW if there were laypeople who felt strongly enough to want to do so.

And...sorry to help take this thread so far off topic!

caitriona87 · June 2012

& sorry, lalaith, that must be hard to deal with on a lot of different fronts

Resa77 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_tuesday-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:c385215a-1544-4bbf-8e64-f2bc871d2699Post:5e5b225a-bdfa-4c01-b77b-955a15e6676a">Re: Tuesday Questions</a>:
[QUOTE]The norm in the united states is to receive standing, with a slight bow before doing so. People that kneel should not be denied communion.
Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]

Thanks for clearing that up! And don't get me wrong -- although the priests talked a lot about how we're supposed to stand, not kneel, they NEVER denied people communion for kneeling. I never even saw them ask them to stand. They just made announcements about it a lot, and eventually people stopped receiving that way.

lmeade62 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_tuesday-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:c385215a-1544-4bbf-8e64-f2bc871d2699Post:d10ba705-3952-4a6e-80b6-cf058ca8b806">Tuesday Questions</a>:
[QUOTE]Anyone have any questions? I have a few (feel free not to answer, it's just me being curious/nosy, and trying to get some conversation going!) 1. How old are you/how old were you when you got married? Do you think you were too young when you got married? 2. Have you ever had a point in your life where you went away from the Church, or even just got kinda apathetic toward your faith? 3. How do you feel about "traditional gender roles," as in mothers staying home with the kids , and fathers working?
Posted by Resa77[/QUOTE]

<div>I was 49 when I got married, and my husband was 53, so nope, we didn't think we were too young when we got married, LOL. On a more serious note, this is the second marriage for both of us; I was 25 at the time of my first marriage, and that was not so much too young, but for the wrong reasons.Same for DH.</div><div>
</div><div>I've only been Catholic for four years, so I haven't had much time to fall away from the Church. I worry sometimes that I'm more apathetic than when I was going through RCIA...I used to go to daily Mass quite a lot, and now I hardly ever go (though I do listen to it on EWTN nearly every morning).</div><div>
</div><div>Traditional gender roles...hmmm...I think it's not an all or nothing question. In most families these days, sadly, both parents end up having to work just to make ends meet. I think it matters more when parents ARE available to their kids. My mother stayed at home until my brother and I were both in school. She then went back to school and got her Master's, and then was a teacher until after we both graduated from high school. </div><div>
</div><div>This had a mixed impact on us, but I honestly never thought it was a problem. My mom was there when we came home from school most days, and by the time I was in high school I was at swim practice or tennis practice or play practice, so she usually was home long before I was. Same with my brother. I always grew up thinking I could be whatever I wanted, because I had that example in front of me. On the other hand, she was a casual housekeeper and cook at best. I think it would have been a lot better if my dad had helped with that, but he worked fulltime during the week and spent most of his weekends working around the house, so there was definite separation in those ways.</div><div>
</div><div>My husband and I don't have children (other than his son, who is 16), and he's actually retired. So we both do most things around the house - laundry, cooking, cleaning, and so forth. He takes care of the really macho chores like cutting down trees, fixing the roof, that kind of thing. He takes care of the dog, and I take care of the cats, LOL...</div><div>
</div><div>Linda</div>

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