Boudoir Photos - Classy or Trashy?

drileybubeck · April 2010

I'm still in the way early stages of planning and have been checking out photographers' websites to see the different styles and options that are available. I was pretty shocked to see one site with a woman donning only a tie under the "bridal" section.

Then, another site I'm on had a thread about this kind of shoot. One of the women offered up her pictures; I was, again, kinda taken aback. She's gorgeous, don't get me wrong, but I was a little shocked. So I Googled it. Apparently, this is a new trend with most women reserving the photos for their FH only. It's supposed to have a cutesy-sexy pin-up vibe, but most of the photos I've seen drop cutesy and go full force for sexy.

I'm not typically conservative and I'm pretty sure my FH would love a boudoir album... but I'm really on the fence about this one. What do you think about boudoir photos? Are you doing it? And if you are, are you reserving them strictly for your FH or are you going to show them to other people?

SarahPLiz · April 2010

However, if your FI likes trashy, then that's what you should give him. Some guys prefer that.

Still, showing them to anyone other than FI makes them trashy, to me

megk8oz · April 2010

I think it depends. I believe there's a way to "tastefully" do b-pics (Not that I've had the guts to do them myself).

I think it gets trashy when it's raunchy shoot, or it's something that the groom really wouldn't be into (I think DH would love it, but I know one of his good friends would be really p!ssed if his wife did a shoot) ... or you're one of those creepy people that like frame one of the pictures and place it where people can actually see it in your house (Which yes, they do exist).

If I ever were to do I shoot (I've been debating as an anniversary gift for DH), I would make sure that everything was subtle ... like properly draped sheets and whatnot. That would be a perfect balance of what he'd find sexy and my comfort level.

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2010

Oh, how I wish I still had the link for dirty feet girl's home-done boudoir pics.

fallingobsession · April 2010

Well, they're guys - of COURSE they're going to like raunchy pictures of you (or anyone really, let's be honest!)

But I still think this "trend" is more trashy that cute (and in no way "classy"). Sorry, ladies. He is (or will be) your HUSBAND - and the best gift you can come up with are professional "pin-up" style pictures of yourself?

He loves you for you. He doesn't need those pictures when he has YOU.

You're already spending lots of $$$ on engagement picture, and wedding pictures (maybe even a bridal session). This idea sounds to me like somebody tried to come up with something ELSE they can to do make money off brides who are trying to impress their future/new hubbies. He's marrying you - buy the outfits and instead have a sexy bedroom session with him. I think he's appreciate that more.

deepcovejackie · April 2010

I'm not a fan. When I think boudoir photos, I think "klassy". I always wonder how I would feel if my kids found them. EWWW. Every person to his/her own though. If it makes you feel, well, beautiful, then go for it. Having said that, I've not seen alot of boudoir photography.

miss.jawright · April 2010

I am totally with everyone else. However, I think Trashy has a place and if you want some raunchy photos just for FI/H why the hell not?! But if you want classy not Klassy then you can totally find photograpers for that.

goetzr19 · April 2010

My FI and I chose the package from our photographer to include boudoir photos. Our photographer is willing to look at examples to get an idea of what we want, and he shoots with his assistant (who happens to be his wife), and said that the amount of clothing you wear is up to you. If it means a bra and a cute pair of shorts, then so be it. You have to remember, some of the clothing that the girls wear cover as much as a swimsuit does, so whats the difference? You have the right to sign a release agreement with the photographer, and you can choose which photos you want released and which you dont. (A professional photographer will choose less risque photos in respect). I am all for boudoir, as I am looking forward to giving my FI a special gift before the wedding!

nhelene · April 2010

I've wanted to do get some elvgren-style pinups of myself done for a while now.

jbock314 · April 2010

I'm so not the type but I'm seriously considering doing the shoot. I've seen some really tasteful, artistic style photos that look great and I've seen some that look like they've been taken at a run down strip club. I know some photographers will offer a discount if you allow them to use your face and a lesser discount if they crop it out. They would be for his eyes only, but if the discount is worth it, i'd let them crop my face out!

rbtrumpet · April 2010

I'm planning on doing some for FI ONLY as a Christmas present (I'll probably do some sort of 2011 calendar-type thing). I want it to be something tasteful, fun, but given just to him, and after the wedding.

I agree with everyone - they can be really awesome, or really tacky, so if you do it, just be selective about who does it and who sees it.

OT and mini-thread-jack: SarahPLiz, I love the pic in your siggy!

Piru · April 2010

I like them. If they're only for the fiance, then what does it matter?

riverjib · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_boudoir-photos-classy-trashy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:377be6be-1252-41d2-8ee5-ef21785f99d3Post:5cfd3b3d-1f30-4472-bca8-660a88725d51">Re: Boudoir Photos - Classy or Trashy?</a>:
[QUOTE]Depending upon the bride and the photographer, they can go either way. I REALLY strongly dislike the weird pregnancy photos that women are taking now with just sheets draping themselves. Pregnancy is beautiful but I just find the pictures really creepy. Back to your question, I like the 1940's pinup style boudoir pictures, they're really kitschy and cute, I don't really like when they get raunchy.
Posted by 526SadieSadie[/QUOTE]

Kind of OT, but so true! My sister is a "nestie," and I'm creeped out by the whole Nest thing because too many women think pregnancy is so beautiful that everyone needs to see their bulging stomachs. I'm going to be a physician in a few years, and there is little that fazes me after ten years in the medical field, and pregancy is beautiful. But certain pictures should only be shared with those who love you enough to really appreciate them!

hwoychowski · April 2010

Absolutely go for it!!! Whether the style is classy, trashy, romantic or pin-up is a style that YOU choose. Just like you choose the theme and/or setting for your wedding. Giving these to your FI shows that you are fun, sexy and confident. It shuns the stereotypical thinking of "Marraige = No more sex".

And far as your kids finding them....you keep them in a private place just like lingerie. And as long as the shoots aren't nude...if your (future) children do end up finding them, it will not be a truamatic event.

I would suggest carefully selecting your photographer. Make sure they have done this before to avoid awkward photos and that they have a privacy policy. Talk or meet with them so you feel comfortable. If you are not comfortable in the shoot, it will show in your pictures.

puokgirl · April 2010

My FI flat out asked for boudoir photos, but I would probably get them done even if he hadn't. They're something a little naughty, a little pretty and they look like fun. I'll probably restrict access to my FI only. If one was particularly pretty, I might allow the photographer to use it in her portfolio.

I've always known that they exist. I figured that if someone was out there taking pictures for adult magazines, there's probably someone out there taking pictures for women who want to create something similar for their FI/H.

I'm not concerned about my theoretical future children findiing them. I feel different about nudity and sexuality than some people. Part of that's because of the very practical way my parents treated nudity, explained bodily functions, and treated my own comparisons of art vs porn. I'd want my children to know that it's OK to be/feel sexy, to know about their bodies, and to not be embarrassed by their own or my sexuality. Now, I'm not saying I'd specifically show them, but the embarrassment wouldn't be there if the pictures were found.

I think it comes down to what's comfortable for you and your FI. If you're comfortable taking the pictures, then do. If you're pretty sure that FI would like them, then get them done. But if either you or FI is uncomfortable with the thought of someone else seeing you semi or fully nude then don't push the envelope.

hilleren.h · April 2010

I'm doing it for my FH, but it will be for his eyes only. It is completely up to you how you want the pictures to look, if you don't want them to look trashy keep some clothes on

It is really easy to make the pictures look classy, just make sure to tell the photographer this, and it won't be any problem at all

drileybubeck · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_boudoir-photos-classy-trashy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:377be6be-1252-41d2-8ee5-ef21785f99d3Post:a979f57d-adb2-46cf-a325-592d8cbe3614">Re: Boudoir Photos - Classy or Trashy?</a>:
[QUOTE]These aren't MEANT for random people on the interwebz. They are meant for the lover of the person who took them.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I think that's what shocked me about the forum post I saw. I was just kinda... I mean... really? You want pictures like that of yourself on the internet? That was really trashy to me. I understand wanting to feel sexy and good about yourself, but goddamn! Like I said, I'm not typically conservative, but when it comes down to half naked pictures of me, a degree of modesty suddenly rises.

I really appreciate the input! I'm going for it - but for my FH's eyes only.

agentkitten75 · April 2010

Actually i am having my cousin take a special photo session the morning of the wedding, one the wedding photographer isnt alowed to be involved in. It wil be a 1940s old hollywood boudouir session, sexy, pin up and fun. Just for my new husband .

JenPhil6212 · April 2010

i would never do that. If FI wants something like that we have a digital camera. He can take his own pictures. I would be so scared they would get out.

Traci · April 2010

I agree they can go either way. Both the photographer and the bride need to implement some common sense when doing these type of photos.

I, too, am in the fatass club or I 'd be posing for those sexy pics!

Marty1121 · April 2010

I am going to do a Boudoir photo session in October for my FH's before the wedding gift. My photographer is amazing and she has done many different shoots, including a few for my best friends (which is why I have seen a few different books). She does not do full nudity unless you absolutely want to, but none of my friends did any of those so I don't know how that works. I know my session costs $300 and that includes the photo session and a bound book for my groom. Most photographers do their boudoir session specials close to Valentine's Day! Just make sure you really check out the photographer and know their work. I personally will not have anyone see my photos except my FH, and he won't see them until right before the wedding!! It is an awesome gift if done the right way. Oh, and the BEST part of it all is they have PHOTOSHOP!! My photographer told me not to be so hard on myself because she will correct anything for me if I am not happy with it =]

antiquering · April 2010

It's very important to bring along "examples" when you look for a photographer and discuss their philosophy on things like that. I had some done as a Christmas gift, and she played a lot on light, color, and making use of things around like chairs, windows, etc. (CLOSED WINDOWS!)

I'm normally pretty conservative, but the right photographer can make you feel very comfortable and sexy. I'm not sure about all these people saying their fiances and husbands wouldn't want these pictues. There's more to intimacy than you just putting on something tiny, taking it off, and having sex. And a digital camera does nothing compared to a professional that can make a good picture look alluring and sexy. It adds to the fun of it! It would be great to give him the pictures a short while before the wedding, especially if you're abstaining for a period of time before the wedding night.

And for what it's worth, I gave a book of my pictures to my fiance Christmas morning. He proposed that night.

distncerunnr · April 2010

I think they make a good gift for the fiance. I did mine DIY style (i.e. with a self timer on a camera). It's cheap and I didn't have to feel uncomfortable in front of someone I don't know.

michalekv · April 2010

I just had mine done. Found an awesome female photographer. She only did bridal and then asked her husband if he had an issue with her doing boudoir. The upstairs of their home is dedicated with different themes and then their media room which she turned into the typical photo place with the big drop screen. When I went to meet her I brought a bridesmaid (just in case) and she was the cutest gal you could ever meet and knew a great deal about posing and facial expressions. I actually bought my FI a valet thing that holds change, can charge his cell phone, ipod, etc and has a little drawer. When he gets that, the drawer will have one photo and each month I am going to add another one. Sometimes just a picture of my back, sometimes full, some in the shadows as the sun was going down, etc. Then on our one year anniversary give him the book. Absolutely agree that it depends on the photographer.

4EverMaid · April 2010

They could go either way based on your choice of photographer and what you want to wear. I did photos with Glamour Shots and they were very professional; the photos were tasteful and came out beautifully! My fiance loved them as well, so I say go for it! It was an amazing experience for me, because I am normally on the more reserved side, but the photographer I worked with was wonderful and I never felt uncomfortable.

alyr1284 · April 2010

I got with our photographer to take some photos that I am just giving to my fiance. We definitely went for more classy, and took some cute pin-up type photos. It was a lot of fun and I know my future hubby will love them! I've put them together in a small, scrapbook type album that will be easy to keep it discrete.

ngiauque · April 2010

I just had some done just last Saturday. Tasteful ones that are for his eyes only - with the exception of my very closest friends who are very interested. I think it would be trashy if you are posing distastefully and showing way more than needs to be shown. It is not a playboy spread or anything like that.

I had different outfits - including his muay tai shorts and a pair of jeans of his that I have been trying to get him to throw out forever now! They are supposed to be fun pics that are especially for him. I plan to give the scrap book that I am going to make for him the week before our wedding - as I am sure that it will be a bit stressful durring that week with all the wedding stuff at full tilt, and it will allow him to relax and enjoy. And I can't wait to give it to him.

And on a side note, if you have the right photographer, she will make you feel comfortable enough and work with you to achieve the results that you want for your pics. I recommend anyone to get them done because I would say that was one of the greatest kind of liberating experiences I have ever had!!

courtneyandtimothy · April 2010

I have mixed feelings about this. I think most guys would think of a boudoir album as something to add to the "spank bank" if you know what I mean. I kinda think it leans more towards the trashy end when its thought of this way.

If I were to do it though, I do also agree with the majority that the photography style, poses, and outfits play the largest role in wheather it would be classy or trashy looking.

Tonk01 · April 2010

I think that is it a cute idea and I am planning on doing it. It really depends on you and your personality. Some girls are not modest at all and want to take the super sexy route, whereas others just want to keep it to a t-shirt and panties. Your photographer should make you feel comfortable and not push to do something that makes your skin crawl. As far as sharing, I have taken pictures like this before and I have shared with close freinds and some family, but never to guys except for my boyfriend who is now my fiance. Some photogs offer a discount, though if you allow them to use your photos on their website so the option of sharing would be up to you.

arffy916 · April 2010

I honestly don't get this idea of Boudoir albums for you FH. He's going to see it in real life every day once you are married so why does he need an album of pictures? Isn't that why they have all the costumes and things too? haha

jackieg82 · April 2010

outside of classy or trashy, i would say they're just unnecessary. with all the other things a person needs to do for their wedding and the costs associated with those things, this just seems like an expense that can be avoided. i understand that at the very least the shots are for a person's husband, but at the same time it might be best to save the cash and opt for higher quality engagement and wedding photos you can share with everyone tastefully.

going back to the question of classy or trashy, i guess any photo can be done up with some class but i'd have to say that the nature of the photos are intimate so they shouldn't be shared with others. a question for a bride considering these photos is: who are the photos really for, your hubby or you? if it's for him then it's really for his eyes only. if it's more for you so you can chronicle how awesome you looked once upon a time, then i can see wanting to share them with other female friends/relatives that you're close to. might be inappropriate to show other men outside your hubby though.

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