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Snarky Brides

Partial Cash Bar??

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Re: Partial Cash Bar??

  • DO NOT HAVE A CASH BAR! Don't listen to these people.  Beer and wine is fine.  Serve what you can afford...you are the host!  It's very very rude!
  • My FI and I are doing a "two dollar bar" - where everything alcoholic is $2.
    We think it's a reasonable option, and it puts the responsibility on the drinker.  Whatever monies we collect from the bar will be given back to us at the end of the night.  The way, we don't end up coughing up thousands of dollars for drinks.
  • I personally see nothing wrong with a partial cash bar. For me . . I don't like beer and I'm picky about wine. So I would rather have the option to atleast pay for what I like and I wouldn't look down at the couple for not providing it. I say provide what you can and I'm sure people will be happy!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6ccd9323-e39e-4de7-826c-e4448ad263e9Post:7c461f9d-e8aa-466a-8156-d5cbc671e435">Re: Partial Cash Bar??</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FI and I are doing a "two dollar bar" - where everything alcoholic is $2. We think it's a reasonable option, and it puts the responsibility on the drinker.  Whatever monies we collect from the bar will be given back to us at the end of the night.  The way, we don't end up coughing up thousands of dollars for drinks.
    Posted by BriZekas[/QUOTE]

    You're going to get paid by your guests?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6ccd9323-e39e-4de7-826c-e4448ad263e9Post:7c461f9d-e8aa-466a-8156-d5cbc671e435">Re: Partial Cash Bar??</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FI and I are doing a "two dollar bar" - where everything alcoholic is $2. We think it's a reasonable option, and it puts the responsibility on the drinker.  Whatever monies we collect from the bar will be given back to us at the end of the night.  The way, we don't end up coughing up thousands of dollars for drinks.
    Posted by BriZekas[/QUOTE]

    Wha?!???  Do your guests know this?

    I feel like you're going around trick or treating for UNICEF and just keeping the money.  Wow, that's bad.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6ccd9323-e39e-4de7-826c-e4448ad263e9Post:cde94254-9ebb-4b19-b5ee-c07f7569b45a">Re: Partial Cash Bar??</a>:
    [QUOTE]sucrets4 I was just letting them know its their choice. Everyone is going to have their opinions on what people should or should Not do at weddings but at the end of the day their wedding. You dont have to be a snob about it. Didnt realize you were the post police. In all your properness you would think you would know its Rude to be nasty to people you dont know.
    Posted by ncole30[/QUOTE]

    Obviously you are just lashing out because it is clear you are fine with crass behavior so long as it makes the bride happy. That is not called being a snob, it is called being thoughtful and caring of your guests comfort. You have a lot to learn in life if you are only able to validate selfish wants and needs due to the fact it is "your day" or "the bride's day."

    But, if Sucrets is the post police, color me happy :)
  • OP - *apologies if you've already answered this but I admit I was skimming* - have you already chosen your venue?  Sometimes that can give you a little wiggle room when it comes to the bar issue... my FI and I are holding our reception in a hotel ballroom and hosting beer and wine from the bar IN the ballroom, however if any of our guest just have to have something stronger the hotel bar is right outside the door and I certainly wouldn't be offended to see them step outside and purchase a drink... also this way there's no akward issue with not having cash, since hotel bars can take credit cards and open tabs etc.... you'd find a similar setup in most restaurant banquet rooms and other hotels I'd imagine... just food for thought.

    Also - WOW, $2 bar?  I'd be offended.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6ccd9323-e39e-4de7-826c-e4448ad263e9Post:bb450665-49b5-4267-a2d3-6aef56f24353">Re: Partial Cash Bar??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? :  But, if Sucrets is the post police, color me happy :)
    Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

    Does this mean I get to handcuff you?  And pat you down?  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6ccd9323-e39e-4de7-826c-e4448ad263e9Post:fdefffba-9426-41f0-a459-f70085b88e0b">Re: Partial Cash Bar??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also - WOW, $2 bar?  I'd be offended.
    Posted by annab0521[/QUOTE]

    These are actually pretty common in some parts of Canada just as cash bars are found in the US.  It's still not proper etiquette to have your guests pay for anything, but it's better than just randomly deciding to charge $2 for drinks.

    Having it be collected to be returned to you at the end of the evening is AWFUL, though.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6ccd9323-e39e-4de7-826c-e4448ad263e9Post:7c461f9d-e8aa-466a-8156-d5cbc671e435">Re: Partial Cash Bar??</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FI and I are doing a "two dollar bar" - where everything alcoholic is $2. We think it's a reasonable option, and it puts the responsibility on the drinker.  Whatever monies we collect from the bar will be given back to us at the end of the night.  The way, <strong>we don't end up coughing up thousands of dollars for drinks.</strong>
    Posted by BriZekas[/QUOTE]
    No, instead your guest do. Are you kidding me? Beyond rude...
  • Roxy - I suppose she still expects her guests to cough up thousands for presents, though.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6ccd9323-e39e-4de7-826c-e4448ad263e9Post:565dc3b7-ef13-4281-9ffc-8262df138d6a">Re: Partial Cash Bar??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Roxy - I suppose she still expects her guests to cough up thousands for presents, though.
    Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]
    $600 crockpot
    $2000 tv
    $500 wooden spoon

    ya know, the norm
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6ccd9323-e39e-4de7-826c-e4448ad263e9Post:0c59f953-60ee-436c-af07-756a717f394d">Re: Partial Cash Bar??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Really, has anyone here read an etiquette book? Other than Meghan, Sucrets, MrsB and a few others. Etiquette isn't something than changes constantly, nor is it something you can make up depending on your situation, or something that varies wildly from region to region within the US and Canada. So saying, "Something is poor etiquette" isn't an opinion. Often, it is based in fact. (If the person knows what he or she is talking about.)
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]


    I agree with almost everything you have posted on this thread, but actually, yes etiquette does constantly change.  You don't have to go too far in time to see that it changes a lot over time.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6ccd9323-e39e-4de7-826c-e4448ad263e9Post:fdefffba-9426-41f0-a459-f70085b88e0b">Re: Partial Cash Bar??</a>:
    [QUOTE]OP - *apologies if you've already answered this but I admit I was skimming* - have you already chosen your venue?  Sometimes that can give you a little wiggle room when it comes to the bar issue... my FI and I are holding our reception in a hotel ballroom and hosting beer and wine from the bar IN the ballroom, however if any of our guest just have to have something stronger the hotel bar is right outside the door and I certainly wouldn't be offended to see them step outside and purchase a drink... also this way there's no akward issue with not having cash, since hotel bars can take credit cards and open tabs etc.... you'd find a similar setup in most restaurant banquet rooms and other hotels I'd imagine... just food for thought. Also - WOW, $2 bar?  I'd be offended.
    Posted by annab0521[/QUOTE]

    <div>We're actually doing an Art Center here in Dallas, they give you the option of beer and wine/ open bar/ cash bar/ and no alcohol. The rep. actually mentioned how some people decide to make a partial cash bar by having an open bar for the first hour or two and then the guests pay afterwards. Since it was something that was offered by the venue, I wasn't sure if it was something that made this option okay.... My fiance and I have been discussing this and all of the opinions have been a great help! </div><div>
    </div><div>The thought of having people pay $2 for a drink and then that money come back to us never even occurred to us.... As a PP said, that's like fundraising for UNICEF and keeping all of the money for yourself. I don't want to make a situation where a guest <strong>has</strong> to pay for anything, they've spent the money on traveling down to celebrate with us. I was unsure if the fact that it would be an option after X o'clock to limit the consumption by making people pay out of pocket. </div>
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  • Haha yeah my offense in the previous post wasn't so much to paying $2 per drink but more toward that $2 per drink going right back to the bride and groom... just sounds sneaky to me.

    Also one more thing to consider - its been my experience (and this could just be the *wonderful* people I hang out with :) ) but if the bar is only open bar for a limited time, people will make it a point to take full advantage of the free drinks for however long they're available, and you could end up with a lot more drunk people than if you'd hosted just beer and wine OR even a full evening's cash bar... haha like I said it may just be my friends :) GL!

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  • Personally, I don't think it is polite to ask your guests to spend any money at your wedding.  If you have to have a dry wedding or serve just beer and wine that would be better.  I also think having the dollar dance or Jack and Jill's are of bad taste as well.
  • So I'm having my wedding and reception at a hotel, and say I do "host what I can afford," which does not include alcohol.  Since there is a hotel bar that people can go to, is it considered rude that I don't have alcohol at the reception and they're just going to be spending money at the hotel bar anyway??
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6ccd9323-e39e-4de7-826c-e4448ad263e9Post:967adbd3-51ba-4946-8e18-b4fb642993ae">Re: Partial Cash Bar??</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I'm having my wedding and reception at a hotel, and say I do "host what I can afford," which does not include alcohol.  Since there is a hotel bar that people can go to, is it considered rude that I don't have alcohol at the reception and they're just going to be spending money at the hotel bar anyway??
    Posted by rebeccalynn410[/QUOTE]

    Hosting what you can afford would be finding a cheaper venue so that you can provide fully for your guests. It is not the hotels fault here for being too expensive, it is your fault for a choosing a venue that is too expensive.

    I also don't think it is a good idea to rely on people getting their drinks from the hotel bar. It moves your party to the hotel bar and out of the ballroom.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6ccd9323-e39e-4de7-826c-e4448ad263e9Post:187701bb-570d-42fb-b232-5fbdbf2a92b6">Re: Partial Cash Bar??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : Hosting what you can afford would be finding a cheaper venue so that you can provide fully for your guests. It is not the hotels fault here for being too expensive, <strong>it is your fault for a choosing a venue that is too expensive. </strong>I also don't think it is a good idea to rely on people getting their drinks from the hotel bar. It moves your party to the hotel bar and out of the ballroom.
    Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

    Wow.  Thanks.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6ccd9323-e39e-4de7-826c-e4448ad263e9Post:d743ed7f-3503-470c-b884-4df63ec424b7">Re: Partial Cash Bar??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : Wow.  Thanks.
    Posted by rebeccalynn410[/QUOTE]

    Well done is done now I am assuming. My point would be to find room in the budget for providing drinks above other things (centerpieces, limos, pro makeup etc) at this point.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6ccd9323-e39e-4de7-826c-e4448ad263e9Post:e91bd5db-2a94-42c2-9cc2-a4d685e492eb">Re: Partial Cash Bar??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Partial Cash Bar?? : We're actually doing an Art Center here in Dallas, they give you the option of beer and wine/ open bar/ cash bar/ and no alcohol. The rep. actually mentioned how some people decide to make a partial cash bar by having an open bar for the first hour or two and then the guests pay afterwards. Since it was something that was offered by the venue, I wasn't sure if it was something that made this option okay.... My fiance and I have been discussing this and all of the opinions have been a great help! 

    The thought of having people pay $2 for a drink and then that money come back to us never even occurred to us.... As a PP said, that's like fundraising for UNICEF and keeping all of the money for yourself. I don't want to make a situation where a guest has to pay for anything, they've spent the money on traveling down to celebrate with us. I was unsure if the fact that it would be an option after X o'clock to limit the consumption by making people pay out of pocket. 
    Posted by Audrey&Austin[/QUOTE]

    Well, of course a venue is going to offer a cash bar over a dry wedding!  Honestly, they don't care about etiquette or your wedding, they just want to make money to stay in business.

    The open bar for a few hours sucks...there's no polite way to say it, and it would be awful to go up to the bar to get a round of drinks for people only to find out that it was free and now it's x amount.

    Do you not have a lot of drinkers in your group?  I could understand not wanting to pay a lot extra per person for an open bar if not everyone was going to take advantage of it, but you could ask your venue about a consumption bar - where you only pay for what is consumed at your wedding. 
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  • We are doing a twoonie bar...we're from Canada.  All drinks will cost $2 except for non-alcoholic drinks which will be free.  We will cover the rest of the cost.  We were thinking about doing an open bar, but our wedding planner recommended against it.  She said with an open bar ppl forget that even though the drinks are free for them that someone is actually paying for them. With an open bar, guests will put down their drink to use the restroom or step outside for a smoke...whatever takes them away from their drink... and instead of finding it again when they come back in they will just go to the bar and get another one, leaving their half empty drink somewhere in the room.  If they even have to pay $2 for a drink, it's a menial cost to them, but they'll keep track of their drinks and not order extra ones needlessly.
  • I think that a partial cash bar is perfectly acceptable. Just be sure you offer some sort of alcoholic option for your guests, like beer and house wine. The liquor they can purchase on their own. Afterall, you dont want certain guests taking advantage of the all-you-can drink option and ordering fine liquors, multiple shot drinks, etc, and become extremely shocked (in a bad way) when the bill arrives.
  • I'm having a partial cash bar at my wedding....I talked to my honey, families and friends about it and some coworkers and they all said that was fine. I've been the bartender at about 2 dozen weddings. Alot were cash bar or partial cash bars....and you know what? NO ONE CARED!!!!! These were all Hilton events also. People were totally fine with it. i'm doing a partial cash bar because I don't want to have to post a sob story about how my wedding was ruined because a couple people don't know when to stop. Cash bars help prevent that and honestly I know there are a lot of people that don't drink wine, or beer.
    Personally if people are so upset about a cash bar that they walk out of my wedding, then my honey and I are gratefult hey left early instead of spending the entire event pretending to care about us. And if some people think its tacky, fine. They probably will hate everything else and think everything except their perfect consumer oriented tastes are tacky as well. Its better than a wedding in a public park, or vegas chapel, or going into complete debt. Or asking for contributions to the couples honeymoon....i think thats tacky!
  • There are no words for the last 2 posts.  ffs, read the rest of the thread before proudly declaring that you're rude.
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  • Yeah, this is probably not the place to get a go-ahead on a cash bar.  And I'll probably get ripped for what I'm going to say, but hell, I'm posting on the Snarky Brides thread.  I know what I'm wading into.

    My grandma had an open bar for the first four hours of her five hour reception; the last hour was cash to cut down on people drinking before they had to drive home (some up to two hours away).  I'd call that tactful, not tacky.  She had some heavy drinking guests; to adhere to the rule of "don't invite them if they're going to get wasted" would've cut a good chunk of my extended family out.  You can say "if they're adults, they'll act as such", but no one is exactly a paragon of wise decisions and reasoning after a couple rounds.  And no adult is going to happily accept someone telling them they've had too much and trying to cut them off after said rounds.  I thought it was a gentle way of saying, "that's enough now, chill out and have some soda".  To boot, it was effective.  My grandma spent $2,000 on drinks for a reception of 100; that last hour only brought in $100 (soda, tea and coffee were free).

    Really, I think beer and wine is more than enough to have a good time at a wedding and I wouldn't worry about serving liquor at all.  It is absolutely NOT a necessity for a wedding.  Personally, I think it's kind of sad that people feel the need to drink at all at a wedding; two people pledging their lives to each other doesn't make you happy enough?  You can't dance if you're not buzzed?  It probably doesn't make you any better at it, honey.  Beer, wine and a champagne toast (if you can afford it) is a nice enough spread for a wedding.  Leave the liquor off and just go with what you have.
  • It makes me wonder if the girls who are having complete open bars are the ones paying $20,000 or more for their wedding.  Well, I hope you have fun with your debt as us "cash-bar-girls" are living out of it!  My FI and I are serving beer, wine, having a cocktail hour with free rail drinks, and having bride and groom specialty drinks.  Other than that, we are having a cash bar.  I feel that SOME alcohol should be paid for, but not everything.  Why should a bride and groom pay for someone to get drunk at their wedding?  If a guest wants a special drink, then that is up to them.  I am standing steadfast that a partial cash bar IS NOT RUDE, NOR IS IT A FAUX PAS.  Everybody has their own views, own opinions, and every wedding is different.  Do what is comfortable for you and your budget and be happy.  Your guests shouldn't mind at all if they are true family and friends. 
  • It's about celebrating a marriage, not getting as many guests as full of alcohol as possible!!!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6ccd9323-e39e-4de7-826c-e4448ad263e9Post:a527c683-13af-46e6-ad5d-09d387bf5b14">Re: Partial Cash Bar??</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's about celebrating a marriage, not getting as many guests as full of alcohol as possible!!!
    Posted by goetzr19[/QUOTE]
    No sh!t sherlock. Noone is forcing them to do keg stands. Why should guest have to pay for their drinks?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6ccd9323-e39e-4de7-826c-e4448ad263e9Post:5158a6d4-b639-4010-95c7-cb5cda9301d1">Re: Partial Cash Bar??</a>:
    [QUOTE]It makes me wonder if the girls who are having complete open bars are the ones paying $20,000 or more for their wedding.  Well, I hope you have fun with your debt as us "cash-bar-girls" are living out of it!  My FI and I are serving beer, wine, having a cocktail hour with free rail drinks, and having bride and groom specialty drinks.  Other than that, we are having a cash bar.  I feel that SOME alcohol should be paid for, but not everything.  Why should a bride and groom pay for someone to get drunk at their wedding?  If a guest wants a special drink, then that is up to them.  I am standing steadfast that a partial cash bar IS NOT RUDE, NOR IS IT A FAUX PAS.  Everybody has their own views, own opinions, and every wedding is different.  Do what is comfortable for you and your budget and be happy.  Your guests shouldn't mind at all if they are true family and friends. 
    Posted by goetzr19[/QUOTE]
    Yea, all the girls who posted here who had full open bars <span style="font-weight:bold;">did not </span>go into debt to have them. You do not even have to spend $20,000 to have an open bar.

    In your case you should stop with just the wine, beer and specialty drink and call it good.
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