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Registry and Gift Forum
alaliberte17
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cash registry- anyone have any experience with this?
We have all the kitchen gadgets, what we we've never had is a nice vacation together. Thinking about doing a honeymoon registry or house registry. Anyone have any experience with this? Any websites that have a minimal service fee?
We are still registering for a few items at a department store as 1 option and the 2nd would be the honeymoon fund/house fund (TBD). Any suggestions/advise would be great!
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Re: cash registry- anyone have any experience with this?
Your guests are smart enough to know that if you have a small registry, you'd like cash. Or, hell, even if you don't have a small registry, you'd appreciate cash. Who doesn't?
Think it through. Aside from the total breach of etiquette that is registering for cash, why would you ask your guests to give money to a website that takes a cut and gives you less than they want? Cash or a check doesn't have any loss of funds and doesn't anger your guests with your greediness.
We made a very small registry (20 gifts for 150 people). We got a few boxed gifts but mostly cash. Either do this or don't register and answer the question "Where did you register?" with "We're saving up for a house!"
Either have a small registry or none (but then graciously decline showers). When people ask where you're registered, you can tell them you are saving up for a honeymoon/car/house/whatever. They'll get it.
[QUOTE]I had a friend do hers through <a href="http://www.honeyfund.com." rel="nofollow">www.honeyfund.com.</a> There's a free option, and of course a premium option. You can set it up, so people are buying certain dinners/adventures for you instead of just giving you cash. It might end up in one lump sum, I am not sure how it really works. I got them each a gift certificate for a dinner at the same place. I personally thought it was a wonderful idea! I was going to do this, since me and my fiance have lived together 6 years, we really don't need anything or even have space for anything else. I almost feel like they are wasting money to buy us items we don't really need. Though, now that I see all the negative comments about this option, I am second guessing myself haha.
Posted by stealthangel20[/QUOTE]
If you're worried people are going to buy you things you don't need, don't register for them. Obviously, you can't stop people from buying things you don't want, but not asking for them in the first place is a start, no?
And plus also, I almost guarantee you that you didn't actually buy them the dinner you think you did. They're almost definitely going to receive a lump sum, which they can then use on whatever their little hearts desire. Maybe some lube for their post-wedding sex-fest.
[QUOTE]I had a friend do hers through <a href="http://www.honeyfund.com." rel="nofollow">www.honeyfund.com.</a> There's a free option, and of course a premium option. You can set it up, so people are buying certain dinners/adventures for you instead of just giving you cash. It might end up in one lump sum, I am not sure how it really works. I got them each a gift certificate for a dinner at the same place. I personally thought it was a wonderful idea! I was going to do this, since me and my fiance have lived together 6 years, we really don't need anything or even have space for anything else. I almost feel like they are wasting money to buy us items we don't really need. Though, now that I see all the negative comments about this option, I am second guessing myself haha.
Posted by stealthangel20[/QUOTE]
Honeyfund says that they don't handle funds. They <font class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000">say all</font> "Honeyfund does not handle online payments, all payments are processed by a third party."<font face="Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif" size="3" class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000"><span style="line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"> Why in the world would you register for a site that doesn't even do what they imply they're going to do and make it more complicated for your guests? Wouldn't it be easier to just let your guests know you're saving up for _______ instead of creating a complicated registry? I would think it would be easier for guests to just write a check or put some cash in a card. It might be just me but I cna't stand "cash registries". </span></font>
[QUOTE]I've had the same question as well. We are doing a 50 person destination wedding, so we don't expect gifts of any kind since people are traveling. We think that their travel expenses supercede the need for a present. But we know a few over-zealous folks will still want to get us something. <strong>But I guess we'll still have to register for like 15 gifts and hope that people come with an envelope instead.</strong>
Posted by Superbonbon1999[/QUOTE]
<div>Or just don't register at all. </div><div>
</div><div>When people ask about a registry, just mention that you really don't need anything, but are saving for X.</div>
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]I've had the same question as well. <u><strong> We are doing a 50 person destination wedding, so we don't expect gifts of any kind since people are traveling. </strong></u> We think that their travel expenses supercede the need for a present. But we know a few over-zealous folks will still want to get us something. But I guess we'll still have to register for like 15 gifts and hope that people come with an envelope instead.
Posted by 63937375008879[/QUOTE]
You shouldn't <em>expect</em> gifts, period. While it is nice for people to give you something, they don't have to. Are you going to end your friendship if they don't?
Just because you saw it on Four Weddings, doesn't mean it's a good idea.
[QUOTE]Honeyfund.com is afree honeymoon registry, who doesnt handle your cash at ALL. Money goes to you. They say to give money directly to bride and groom. <strong> I think this is better than just giving cash because then people feel like their contributing to an experience. </strong> I've heard a lot of great reviews about honeyfund. The other option is just telling guests that you're saving for stuff (or have a bridesmaid or parents). OR putting it on your wedding website, if you're tech-savy, why not make your own "honeyfund" list and then the guests can give you money directly rather than dealing with that website? Or even just saying: Here are where we're registered: and we're saving for: X. I would have a small registry too, people like to shop!
Posted by Pburke2010[/QUOTE]
But they're not. Whether they write you a check and hand it to you or pay a website to give you a check, it's the same thing and the latter misleads them. They feel like when they click on for instance, a dinner you want to go to, that they are actually going to give you money FOR that restaurant specifically, but in actuality, they are not. You are getting a check that you could go buy booze with or groceries with for all they know. It is misleading to the guests, and if they want to give you money, why not just give it to you directly?
WOW. It's shocking to me how much ridiculous overreaction there is to all this honeymoon fund nonsense. I agree that asking for actual tangible gifts is the best bet, and you should only take a honeymoon that you can completely afford on your own. However, if you want to register for a few fun "extras" for guests to contribute to, I think it's a great idea. I had multiple friends do this, and I chose to contribute to their honeymoon registry rather than their traditional registry. Personally, I prefer to give an experience or event over putting cash in a card. I know it's semantics, but it makes a difference to people. I plan to register for a couple things myself for our Hawaiian honeymoon. As long as you offer some "real" gift options, too, go for it.
If you want guests to know you used their money for what they intended, follow the advice in the top thread - enclose a pic of your and new hubby doing said activity with your thank you. It'll be a little extra work, but a needed touch with this type of registry. Also, I don't know what kind of families and friends some of the other posters have, but I know mine won't assume I'm trying to deceive or cheat them, just trying to ask for something I actually want that will be fun for them to give.
Don't let all these haters freak you out. Maybe we all need to chill out a little. Jeez.
Maybe haters was a little strong, but it all just comes off a bit judgmental. Can't we all just get along?
[QUOTE]We aren't haters because we think it's rude for someone else to tell us that they want OUR money that we earned working at OUR jobs. We pay for our own vacations and dinners out.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
If you want to give a gift that the couple doesnt want then fine. If you don't want to give them cash for something their saving up for, then fine. It's an option. That's why I'm for having both, a registry and saying we're saving up for something. To give the guests the option of what they are comfortable with.
Some people would rather ask people for towels or pots, and some people would rather have a nice dinner in Bermuda that they wouldn't treat themselves to instead.
Money is money. Whether it's in the form of a gift or cash for an "experience". Your guests know you (and you know you) better than all of us. So you can ask, but it is what you are comfortable with.
I would just let them know in thank you cards what you really used the money for, that way they do feel like it went to a purpose.
And at the end of the day, its about you and your FI getting married. Gifts/cash/nothing. doesn't matter. It's for the two of you =)