cash registry- anyone have any experience with this?

alaliberte17 · January 2012

We have all the kitchen gadgets, what we we've never had is a nice vacation together. Thinking about doing a honeymoon registry or house registry. Anyone have any experience with this? Any websites that have a minimal service fee?
We are still registering for a few items at a department store as 1 option and the 2nd would be the honeymoon fund/house fund (TBD). Any suggestions/advise would be great!

Simply Fated · January 2012

"Any websites that have a minimal service fee?" Why would you want ANY service fee?

jessicabessica · January 2012

People don't need to be told that cash is an acceptable wedding gift. You don't need to register for it.

GretchenLaRoux · January 2012

You will most likely offend many of your guests with a registry like this, because a cash/honeymoon/house "registry" is basically just asking your guests for their money, which is rude.

Your guests are smart enough to know that if you have a small registry, you'd like cash. Or, hell, even if you don't have a small registry, you'd appreciate cash. Who doesn't?

AdeleDazeem · January 2012

Registering for cash is just ... yuck.

Think it through. Aside from the total breach of etiquette that is registering for cash, why would you ask your guests to give money to a website that takes a cut and gives you less than they want? Cash or a check doesn't have any loss of funds and doesn't anger your guests with your greediness.

We made a very small registry (20 gifts for 150 people). We got a few boxed gifts but mostly cash. Either do this or don't register and answer the question "Where did you register?" with "We're saving up for a house!"

MNVegas · January 2012

Asking for cash gifts, even when disguised as a deceitful honeymoon or house registry, is not appropriate. You never ask people for their cash! Your guests already know cash is an appreciated gift and will give it if they want.

Keep your small registry for people who insist on giving boxed gift and the other guests will get the hint that you would appreciate cash. They will put cash/check into a card and give it to you. You don't need some gimmicky website to collect it and take out fees. Use that money for your honeymoon, house are whatever else you want. It's simple!

RebeccaB88 · January 2012

I agree that cash registries are beyond rude. Begging for money just does not make anyone look good.

KatePlusNate04 · January 2012

Ditto PPs. You aren't the first bride and groom to prefer cash/a vacation over household gadgets; your situation isn't unique. However, the answer is always the same: It's rude to register for cash/a vacation. First of all, many websites take a cut. Second, they aren't actually paying for the vacation--they aren't really buying airline tickets or paying for ziplining, etc. They pay the website, which writes you a check and possibly takes a cut for themselves. I mean crap, the guests could have written you a check directly and not had a third party take any.

Either have a small registry or none (but then graciously decline showers). When people ask where you're registered, you can tell them you are saving up for a honeymoon/car/house/whatever. They'll get it.

Superbonbon1999 · January 2012

I've had the same question as well. We are doing a 50 person destination wedding, so we don't expect gifts of any kind since people are traveling. We think that their travel expenses supercede the need for a present. But we know a few over-zealous folks will still want to get us something.

But I guess we'll still have to register for like 15 gifts and hope that people come with an envelope instead.

stealthangel20 · January 2012

I had a friend do hers through www.honeyfund.com. There's a free option, and of course a premium option. You can set it up, so people are buying certain dinners/adventures for you instead of just giving you cash. It might end up in one lump sum, I am not sure how it really works. I got them each a gift certificate for a dinner at the same place. I personally thought it was a wonderful idea!

I was going to do this, since me and my fiance have lived together 6 years, we really don't need anything or even have space for anything else. I almost feel like they are wasting money to buy us items we don't really need. Though, now that I see all the negative comments about this option, I am second guessing myself haha.

GretchenLaRoux · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cash-registry-anyone-experience-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:d6d1c6f7-c164-4a66-902b-0156068a92dbPost:ec8be43e-55c6-4a6f-be40-64d732a45c91">Re: cash registry- anyone have any experience with this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a friend do hers through <a href="http://www.honeyfund.com." rel="nofollow">www.honeyfund.com.</a> There's a free option, and of course a premium option. You can set it up, so people are buying certain dinners/adventures for you instead of just giving you cash. It might end up in one lump sum, I am not sure how it really works. I got them each a gift certificate for a dinner at the same place. I personally thought it was a wonderful idea! I was going to do this, since me and my fiance have lived together 6 years, we really don't need anything or even have space for anything else. I almost feel like they are wasting money to buy us items we don't really need. Though, now that I see all the negative comments about this option, I am second guessing myself haha.
Posted by stealthangel20[/QUOTE]

If you're worried people are going to buy you things you don't need, don't register for them. Obviously, you can't stop people from buying things you don't want, but not asking for them in the first place is a start, no?

And plus also, I almost guarantee you that you didn't actually buy them the dinner you think you did. They're almost definitely going to receive a lump sum, which they can then use on whatever their little hearts desire. Maybe some lube for their post-wedding sex-fest.

jagore08 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cash-registry-anyone-experience-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:d6d1c6f7-c164-4a66-902b-0156068a92dbPost:ec8be43e-55c6-4a6f-be40-64d732a45c91">Re: cash registry- anyone have any experience with this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a friend do hers through <a href="http://www.honeyfund.com." rel="nofollow">www.honeyfund.com.</a> There's a free option, and of course a premium option. You can set it up, so people are buying certain dinners/adventures for you instead of just giving you cash. It might end up in one lump sum, I am not sure how it really works. I got them each a gift certificate for a dinner at the same place. I personally thought it was a wonderful idea! I was going to do this, since me and my fiance have lived together 6 years, we really don't need anything or even have space for anything else. I almost feel like they are wasting money to buy us items we don't really need. Though, now that I see all the negative comments about this option, I am second guessing myself haha.
Posted by stealthangel20[/QUOTE]
Honeyfund says that they don't handle funds. They <font class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000">say all</font> "Honeyfund does not handle online payments, all payments are processed by a third party."<font face="Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif" size="3" class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000"><span style="line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"> Why in the world would you register for a site that doesn't even do what they imply they're going to do and make it more complicated for your guests? Wouldn't it be easier to just let your guests know you're saving up for _______ instead of creating a complicated registry? I would think it would be easier for guests to just write a check or put some cash in a card. It might be just me but I cna't stand "cash registries". </span></font>

MyNameIsNot · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cash-registry-anyone-experience-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:d6d1c6f7-c164-4a66-902b-0156068a92dbPost:1c67f0af-7d75-4691-b254-7078a2446769">Re: cash registry- anyone have any experience with this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've had the same question as well. We are doing a 50 person destination wedding, so we don't expect gifts of any kind since people are traveling. We think that their travel expenses supercede the need for a present. But we know a few over-zealous folks will still want to get us something. <strong>But I guess we'll still have to register for like 15 gifts and hope that people come with an envelope instead.</strong>
Posted by Superbonbon1999[/QUOTE]

<div>Or just don't register at all. </div><div>
</div><div>When people ask about a registry, just mention that you really don't need anything, but are saving for X.</div>

Mrs.B6302007 · January 2012

Cash doesn't come in different shapes, colors, sizes, or styles like household items do. Why would someone need to register for it?

adktd2boots · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cash-registry-anyone-experience-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:d6d1c6f7-c164-4a66-902b-0156068a92dbPost:1c67f0af-7d75-4691-b254-7078a2446769">Re: cash registry- anyone have any experience with this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've had the same question as well. <u><strong> We are doing a 50 person destination wedding, so we don't expect gifts of any kind since people are traveling. </strong></u> We think that their travel expenses supercede the need for a present. But we know a few over-zealous folks will still want to get us something. But I guess we'll still have to register for like 15 gifts and hope that people come with an envelope instead.
Posted by 63937375008879[/QUOTE]

You shouldn't <em>expect</em> gifts, period. While it is nice for people to give you something, they don't have to. Are you going to end your friendship if they don't?

Pburke2010 · January 2012

Honeyfund.com is afree honeymoon registry, who doesnt handle your cash at ALL. Money goes to you. They say to give money directly to bride and groom. I think this is better than just giving cash because then people feel like their contributing to an experience. I've heard a lot of great reviews about honeyfund.

The other option is just telling guests that you're saving for stuff (or have a bridesmaid or parents). OR putting it on your wedding website, if you're tech-savy, why not make your own "honeyfund" list and then the guests can give you money directly rather than dealing with that website? Or even just saying: Here are where we're registered: and we're saving for: X.

I would have a small registry too, people like to shop!

KatePlusNate04 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cash-registry-anyone-experience-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:d6d1c6f7-c164-4a66-902b-0156068a92dbPost:edc36790-73d8-46aa-a18e-77411fe444e4">Re: cash registry- anyone have any experience with this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Honeyfund.com is afree honeymoon registry, who doesnt handle your cash at ALL. Money goes to you. They say to give money directly to bride and groom. <strong> I think this is better than just giving cash because then people feel like their contributing to an experience. </strong> I've heard a lot of great reviews about honeyfund. The other option is just telling guests that you're saving for stuff (or have a bridesmaid or parents). OR putting it on your wedding website, if you're tech-savy, why not make your own "honeyfund" list and then the guests can give you money directly rather than dealing with that website? Or even just saying: Here are where we're registered: and we're saving for: X. I would have a small registry too, people like to shop!
Posted by Pburke2010[/QUOTE]

But they're not. Whether they write you a check and hand it to you or pay a website to give you a check, it's the same thing and the latter misleads them. They feel like when they click on for instance, a dinner you want to go to, that they are actually going to give you money FOR that restaurant specifically, but in actuality, they are not. You are getting a check that you could go buy booze with or groceries with for all they know. It is misleading to the guests, and if they want to give you money, why not just give it to you directly?

katehar01 · January 2012

WOW. It's shocking to me how much ridiculous overreaction there is to all this honeymoon fund nonsense. I agree that asking for actual tangible gifts is the best bet, and you should only take a honeymoon that you can completely afford on your own. However, if you want to register for a few fun "extras" for guests to contribute to, I think it's a great idea. I had multiple friends do this, and I chose to contribute to their honeymoon registry rather than their traditional registry. Personally, I prefer to give an experience or event over putting cash in a card. I know it's semantics, but it makes a difference to people. I plan to register for a couple things myself for our Hawaiian honeymoon. As long as you offer some "real" gift options, too, go for it.

If you want guests to know you used their money for what they intended, follow the advice in the top thread - enclose a pic of your and new hubby doing said activity with your thank you. It'll be a little extra work, but a needed touch with this type of registry. Also, I don't know what kind of families and friends some of the other posters have, but I know mine won't assume I'm trying to deceive or cheat them, just trying to ask for something I actually want that will be fun for them to give.

Don't let all these haters freak you out. Maybe we all need to chill out a little. Jeez.

Pburke2010 · January 2012

I'm with Katehar. Whether you use honeymoon registry or just say that you're saving up for the honeymoon, I would just say we used your "$x" for a nice dinner on the beach (or whatever).

Yes, at the end of the day it's cash. But I think there is a difference for asking cash because you just want cash, and cash for experiences on the honeymoon.

I would still have a small registry for those who want to buy actual gifts (I just went on kohls.com to see what was out there....and found a bit, like we're going to redo the bathroom-- new shower curtain, rug, towels, etc.) However, I have no problem saying, "hey- we've lived together for so long, we just really want to pamper ourselves on our honeymoon... we're going to so-and-so, and we would like a couples massage, private dinner, etc that you wouldn't normally treat yourselves too.

You're still paying for the honeymoon yourself (which is what someone posted) but you're asking for stuff that you wouldn't normally treat yourself to.

MNVegas · January 2012

Cash=Cash

It does not matter if it comes in an envelope, check form or via registry. It is a cash gift. You can fool yourself and your guests all you want by saying "it is an experience".

IT IS CASH!!

katehar01 · January 2012

I would agree with you PP - if there were no traditional gift registry offered. Having both allows people who don't want to give cash to give a traditional gift, without eliminating a honeymoon registry for the many people who it is a fun way to give for the wedding.

Maybe haters was a little strong, but it all just comes off a bit judgmental. Can't we all just get along?

xobride · January 2012

I personally wouldn't be offended if I was given an option to contribute to a honeymoon, but if it makes you uncomfortable to ask then don't. Most of the people at your wedding will know you and know your situation. They know you don't need another set of pots or towels so they will more than likely give you money anyway. Our wedding is only going to have 50-75 guests and they all know our story. I'm not registering for anything and just leaving it up to them. I'm not having a wedding to get things or money. I'm having a wedding to celebrate with my friends and family so anything on top of that is just a bonus.

Pburke2010 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cash-registry-anyone-experience-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:d6d1c6f7-c164-4a66-902b-0156068a92dbPost:bebf6f2f-0bed-41eb-b018-9d8f26026be8">Re: cash registry- anyone have any experience with this?</a>:
[QUOTE]We aren't haters because we think it's rude for someone else to tell us that they want OUR money that we earned working at OUR jobs. We pay for our own vacations and dinners out.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

If you want to give a gift that the couple doesnt want then fine. If you don't want to give them cash for something their saving up for, then fine. It's an option. That's why I'm for having both, a registry and saying we're saving up for something. To give the guests the option of what they are comfortable with.

Some people would rather ask people for towels or pots, and some people would rather have a nice dinner in Bermuda that they wouldn't treat themselves to instead.

Money is money. Whether it's in the form of a gift or cash for an "experience". Your guests know you (and you know you) better than all of us. So you can ask, but it is what you are comfortable with.

I would just let them know in thank you cards what you really used the money for, that way they do feel like it went to a purpose.

And at the end of the day, its about you and your FI getting married. Gifts/cash/nothing. doesn't matter. It's for the two of you =)

cash registry- anyone have any experience with this?

Re: cash registry- anyone have any experience with this?

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