NWR: Missionaries at the door...

happyfor25 · January 2013

For the past few months, just about once a week, 2 very nice ladies who are Jehovah's Witnesses have been coming to my door. It makes me very uncomfortable. I respect everyone's right to their religious convictions and expect the same. When the show up at my home, it feels like an invasion of my privacy as well as a lack of respect for my right to my religious convictions as I would assume they likely want to "convert" me.

I am polite to a fault and really don't to know how to deal with this. This morning, I noticed their car in the driveway so knew who was at the door and just didn't answer.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? What is the best way to discourage these visits?

Gabrielle76 · January 2013

Personally, I love getting Jehova's witnesses. They started coming to my apartment right about when I finished my BA, and somehow it makes me feel like a 'real' grownup. However, I know how fully idiotic that is, and I think most people feel just like you and don't like it!

I think just being honest would be your best bet. Tell them thank you, but you're really not interested in their religion, and you would appreciate it if they would stop giving you information (I assume they just give you booklets/pamphlets? That's what ours do). It's not rude to ask them to stop doing something that's bothering you. Or just don't answer the door, eventually they might get the hint.

rin89 · January 2013

Just be honest.

"I respect your beliefs and I respect that you believe you need to share them. But I'm not intersted and your repeated visits are starting to become uncomfortable. Please, do not visit me again."

renegade gaucho · January 2013

Stop worrying about being polite- they obviously don't care about whether they're being polite to you. They know that most people are too nice to just tell them to bugger off, and they take advantage of that. Ask them what house of worship they're from, and tell them that if they or anyone else from that congregation steps on your property again, they are trespassing and you'll be filing a complaint with the local police department.

If you don't feel comfortable doing that, put a sign up stating that religious callers are prohibited.

OliveOilsMom · January 2013

So they pulled into your driveway? Did they come to your area just to visit you? I would be uncomfortable with that. It seems like they are singling you out for some reason. I would just tell them that you do not wish to receive anymore visits from them in the future.

I had 2 JWs come to my door a few years ago. I just said that I am a Christian and am happy to practice my religion as I currently do and am not interested in converting. They have not come back since.

My oldest brother has always been a big reader of everything. He has read the Bible front to back multiple times. While he was home from college once, we had 2 Mormans knock on the door. An hour later, we realized that my brother was still outside. He ended up debating different passages in the Bible with one of the Mormons.

happyfor25 · January 2013

I know that I really need to just ask them to not come back...it's just so awkward because they really are sweet ladies. They usually catch me off guard and since I don't invite them in into my home, I stand with the door open while my dogs go crazy and they read bible passages. So I think I'll plan what to say to them in advance so that I'm prepared when they come again.

happyfor25 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-missionaries-at-the-door?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:61d865b7-2870-4b41-812f-faa6fa36515bPost:8240d123-0666-4ad9-a0b7-5469af411e5e">Re: NWR: Missionaries at the door...</a>:
[QUOTE]So they pulled into your driveway? Did they come to your area just to visit you? I would be uncomfortable with that. It seems like they are singling you out for some reason. I would just tell them that you do not wish to receive anymore visits from them in the future. I had 2 JWs come to my door a few years ago. I just said that I am a Christian and am happy to practice my religion as I currently do and am not interested in converting. They have not come back since. My oldest brother has always been a big reader of everything. He has read the Bible front to back multiple times. While he was home from college once, we had 2 Mormans knock on the door. An hour later, we realized that my brother was still outside. He ended up debating different passages in the Bible with one of the Mormons.
Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]

I live in a pretty rural area so they kind of have to drive to each house. Your brother sounds EXACTLY like mine, he has debated the bible with various religious missionaries who have come to his door! I think he actually enjoys doing it!

MsYeck · January 2013

I'de tell them exactly why you told us.

allychase · January 2013

Put up a no soliciters sign. You could always open the door in a Chewbacca costume and just stare at them. I've always wished I had the "balls" to do something like that...

jojo01041982 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-missionaries-at-the-door?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:61d865b7-2870-4b41-812f-faa6fa36515bPost:36b64bf0-eae1-47eb-b739-d97c17a52423">Re: NWR: Missionaries at the door...</a>:
[QUOTE]Put up a no soliciters sign. You could always open the door in a <strong>Chewbacca costume and just stare at them</strong>. I've always wished I had the "balls" to do something like that...
Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

OMG hilarious! no kidding I totally agree!!

happyfor25 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-missionaries-at-the-door?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:61d865b7-2870-4b41-812f-faa6fa36515bPost:36b64bf0-eae1-47eb-b739-d97c17a52423">Re: NWR: Missionaries at the door...</a>:
[QUOTE]Put up a no soliciters sign. You could always open the door in a Chewbacca costume and just stare at them. I've always wished I had the "balls" to do something like that...
Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

OMG! Would LOVE to do that!

Simply Fated · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-missionaries-at-the-door?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:61d865b7-2870-4b41-812f-faa6fa36515bPost:073d06e3-1484-4dd8-a3f0-26fe24d6c1ba">Re: NWR: Missionaries at the door...</a>:
[QUOTE]I know that I really need to just ask them to not come back...it's just so awkward because they really are sweet ladies. They usually catch me off guard and since I don't invite them in into my home, I stand with the door open while my dogs go crazy and they read bible passages. So I think I'll plan what to say to them in advance so that I'm prepared when they come again.
Posted by happyfor25[/QUOTE]
They keep coming back because you're nice to them.
A huge part of their religion is to convert people, so i don't blame them for doing their work. There was a whole thing recently... where they gained access to gated communities due to religious reasons in Puerto Rico. It's a bit unnerving because to me, it defeats having a gated commmunity if ANYONE can get in, even when no one invites them.
If they are coming by this often, it's harrassment. Tell them you're not interested and be firm.

I get where you're coming from because most of the Jehovah's Witnesses I've met have been nothing but nice to me. I even answered the door wearing a pentagram one time, when I was in high school. TOTALLY unplanned. They were still nice to me lol. But if they came around that often, I'd ask them to please stop trying to convert me. I hope you do the same. :)

GardenMaven · January 2013

ETA: The Chewbacca costume. Forgot to quote! This is something I would actually do, but we haven't had any solicitors religious or otherwise. Too bad, because it would be fun! OP, I agree with the others that you should just be honest and let the ladies know you are not interested. Unless you get the costume! ;

s-aries8990 · January 2013

Just be polite, but be frank. They're just doing their duty, so just tell them next time "I admire your passion for your religion, but I have my own religious beliefs. I would appreciate it, however, if you didn't come by anymore. Have a great day" then if they do it again, pull the harassment-threat card. They're nice people, so they'll understand.

I got them once when I was a kid in high-school and I told them I had my own beleifs and then they started asking me about x, y & z and me, being the smartass I am, had biblical knowledge to fall back on from watching the Discovery channel. Luckily they never came back again.

renegade gaucho · January 2013

Their perceived duty is completely irrelevant, and under no circumstances should it involve my front porch. Showing up at a complete stranger's home in order to tell them their religious beliefs are wrong is an incredibly assholish thing to do, no matter how "politely" it's done or how pleasant a tone is used.

bridalmarch · January 2013

Don't answer the door.

Maybe I'm paranoid because I'm home by myself with just my toddler all day long, but I don't answer the door to people I don't know. You can never be too careful.

thejucheidea · January 2013

I just tell missionaries that although we appreciate their religious views, we are Buddhist, not Christian, and that we would appreciate if they did not stop by or leave literature that we won't read. We had Jehovah's Witnesses once and Mormons once, and since then, although we've seen them prowling our street again, they have not bothered us again.

happyfor25 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-missionaries-at-the-door?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:61d865b7-2870-4b41-812f-faa6fa36515bPost:49f7243d-ea4f-4222-ae8c-f65bf84d7d83">Re:NWR: Missionaries at the door...</a>:
[QUOTE]I hope you are nice to them when you tell them. I feel like in those situations, you need to be very blunt up front or else polite until the end. If I were in their situation, I would feel like you pulled a bait and switch if you seemed politewhich they probably take to be encouraging and then out of nowhere flipped out on them. Those people are not trying to make you uncomfortable...they are trying to help you....I genuinely believe that, even though I don't agree with their beliefs. Just tell them you appreciate their hard work, and you wish them luck in the future, but you don't wish to continue the conversation anymore. If you're like me, and hate uncomfortable confrontation, just write them a letter stating the same and hand it to them, tell them thank you, and shut the door. If they continue, THEN it's time to get rude.
Posted by BartenderBW[/QUOTE]

Don't worry, I will be nice. I don't think I could be rude. I agree that my actions have "encouraged" them and I feel badly about that. As I said, I am polite to a fault and honestly didn't know how to tell them to stop coming. I know they are following their church's teachings with no ill intent. I do kind of feel that it is "rude" that various churches ask their members to show up at MY home, unsolicited, to preach to me. Religion is a very personal thing and I shouldn't be in the position to ask someone to not come to my door.

rajahmd · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-missionaries-at-the-door?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:61d865b7-2870-4b41-812f-faa6fa36515bPost:b542ba16-a783-4173-af71-fb9b44fecdcb">Re: NWR: Missionaries at the door...</a>:
[QUOTE]True story, one of my good friends had an issue with this a while back. After a few weeks her wife answered the door instead. When they asked about her beliefs, she informed them that she was a lesbian warrior witch imbued by the powers of the Dark One. They. Never. Came. Back.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>Hahaha. That visual just made my day. Thanks for sharing!</div>

happyfor25 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-missionaries-at-the-door?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:61d865b7-2870-4b41-812f-faa6fa36515bPost:b542ba16-a783-4173-af71-fb9b44fecdcb">Re: NWR: Missionaries at the door...</a>:
[QUOTE]True story, one of my good friends had an issue with this a while back. After a few weeks her wife answered the door instead. When they asked about her beliefs, she informed them that she was a lesbian warrior witch imbued by the powers of the Dark One. They. Never. Came. Back.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

The looks on their faces would have made a great hidden camera moment! Awesome!

s-aries8990 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-missionaries-at-the-door?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:61d865b7-2870-4b41-812f-faa6fa36515bPost:fa801b56-e6ed-4a78-963a-190df91c639f">Re:NWR: Missionaries at the door...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:NWR: Missionaries at the door... : Don't worry, I will be nice. I don't think I could be rude. I agree that my actions have "encouraged" them and I feel badly about that. As I said, I am polite to a fault and honestly didn't know how to tell them to stop coming. <strong> I know they are following their church's teachings with no ill intent.</strong> I do kind of feel that it is "rude" that various churches ask their members to show up at MY home, unsolicited, to preach to me. Religion is a very personal thing and I shouldn't be in the position to ask someone to not come to my door.
Posted by happyfor25[/QUOTE]

That's what I meant by duty. And you'll eventually grow some balls, right?

bunni727 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-missionaries-at-the-door?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:61d865b7-2870-4b41-812f-faa6fa36515bPost:fa801b56-e6ed-4a78-963a-190df91c639f">Re:NWR: Missionaries at the door...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:NWR: Missionaries at the door... : Don't worry, I will be nice. I don't think I could be rude. I agree that my actions have "encouraged" them and I feel badly about that. As I said, I am polite to a fault and honestly didn't know how to tell them to stop coming. I know they are following their church's teachings with no ill intent. <strong>I do kind of feel that it is "rude" that various churches ask their members to show up at MY home, unsolicited, to preach to me. Religion is a very personal thing and I shouldn't be in the position to ask someone to not come to my door.</strong>
Posted by happyfor25[/QUOTE]

I agree with what you are saying, but Jehovah's Witnesses see it differently. In their eyes, they are being very kind by coming to your home and trying to help you with your salvation.

Some people get really mean (I had a man pull a shotgun on me once because he thought I was JW or Mormon), so I like to be extra kind to them. I usually say something like, "I really appreciate your intentions, but my beliefs are all set so I'd hate for you to waste your time and materials on me. Have a great day!"

GoofyAssChick · January 2013

Two older Jehovah's Witnesses came to my grandparents home about ten years ago. My Granni was always friendly to the women and always told them she was a Christian and couldn't and wouldn't be converted, but they enjoyed one another's company. My Papa didn't like them coming but she would yell at him if he tried to shoo them away. She liked talking to them... and it was company. Four years ago they moved an hour farther away. And those two little old Jehovah's Witnesses still come and visit with her about once a month. Sometimes they talk about religion but really they just sit and drink coffee and talk about their families. My Granni considers them her friends. And because of that, I'm more apt to be kind like my Granni and follow her example.

Of course, if I were in your shoes and didn't want them there I would just be sincerely frank with them and tell them that you are who you are and respect them enough to not waist their time on you when you can't be converted.

tlc35 · January 2013

Not to thread jack but this reminds me of a funny story. A few years ago my Mom was in a car wreck and was transferred by ambulance to a different hospital. Well she felt their bill was exorbitant and decided not to pay it. When the bill collectors called she would sometimes speak in tongues other times play the piano to them sometimes preach to them or just chit chat. They eventually stopped calling!

renegade gaucho · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-missionaries-at-the-door?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:61d865b7-2870-4b41-812f-faa6fa36515bPost:0625cff2-e9d4-42f1-bedd-59234a212439">Re:NWR: Missionaries at the door...</a>:
[QUOTE]ISome people get really mean (I had a man pull a shotgun on me once because he thought I was JW or Mormon), so I like to be extra kind to them.
Posted by bunni727[/QUOTE]

Why did he think you were a JW or a Mormon?

mcda04 · January 2013

They don't knock on my door anymore because we're mostly never home on Saturday morning but now I wish they'd come back.

We are Catholic and in our retreats / community meetings, the Priest said we should receive their pamphlets but give them our rosary sheet in return and say "I love to read and spread God's word, I'll GLADLY read yours but I begin my prayers with a Rosary, would you like to join?" after they decline, I'm sure they'd leave after that.

happyfor25 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-missionaries-at-the-door?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:61d865b7-2870-4b41-812f-faa6fa36515bPost:b21ce72f-fda7-475d-a9d9-ed0a6140e121">Re: NWR: Missionaries at the door...</a>:
[QUOTE]Two older Jehovah's Witnesses came to my grandparents home about ten years ago. My Granni was always friendly to the women and always told them she was a Christian and couldn't and wouldn't be converted, but they enjoyed one another's company. My Papa didn't like them coming but she would yell at him if he tried to shoo them away. She liked talking to them... and it was company. Four years ago they moved an hour farther away. And those two little old Jehovah's Witnesses still come and visit with her about once a month. Sometimes they talk about religion but really they just sit and drink coffee and talk about their families. My Granni considers them her friends. And because of that, I'm more apt to be kind like my Granni and follow her example. Of course, if I were in your shoes and didn't want them there I would just be sincerely frank with them and tell them that you are who you are and respect them enough to not waist their time on you when you can't be converted.
Posted by GoofyAssChick[/QUOTE]

Your story made me smile!

bunni727 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-missionaries-at-the-door?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:61d865b7-2870-4b41-812f-faa6fa36515bPost:721b4ea9-5b14-495f-afad-3e15108586cd">Re:NWR: Missionaries at the door...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:NWR: Missionaries at the door... : Why did he think you were a JW or a Mormon?
Posted by renegade gaucho[/QUOTE]

Probably just because I knocked on his door, was wearing a skirt, and had long hair.

I worked for a summer camp, and we were just going door to door handing out fliers to invite the neighborhood kids for day camp. I don't think they send staff out to do that anymore.

renegade gaucho · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-missionaries-at-the-door?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:61d865b7-2870-4b41-812f-faa6fa36515bPost:fa801b56-e6ed-4a78-963a-190df91c639f">Re:NWR: Missionaries at the door...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:NWR: Missionaries at the door... : I agree that my actions have "encouraged" them and I feel badly about that.[/quote]

You have no reason whatsoever to feel bad about this. As I said above, this is exactly what they are hoping for: that you will feel too guilty to turn them away in the beginning, giving them an opportunity to share their message with you, which will of course open your eyes to the Truth. This isn't nice, it's predatory. You don't owe them anything because you were polite to them a few times.

[quote]I do kind of feel that it is "rude" that various churches ask their members to show up at MY home, unsolicited, to preach to me. Religion is a very personal thing and I shouldn't be in the position to ask someone to not come to my door.
Posted by happyfor25[/QUOTE]

I would say it goes far beyond rude and steps well into dehumanizing territory, as if you weren't an intelligent adult capable of doing your own research and making your own choices about your life, as if you need these strangers to come and enlighten you for your own good. They're basically treating you like a naive child in your own house, which I think is pretty offensive.

Peledreamsofrain · January 2013

I actually always tell these types 'sorry, but I'm Jewish.' It's incredibly unPC to bother the Jewish people about their faith, so I get looked at like I am a demon, and they get out quick. Not only that, but your house will totally get blacklisted. I haven't been solicited in 5 years and I'm in prime stomping grounds.

Summer2011Bride · January 2013

I never answer the door. Not just to when JWs come by (they don't come by often here, actually), but I just don't feel comfortable opening the door when H isn't home because we had someone attempt a break-in a few months ago. Ever since, I am uber-cautious.

If/when I would answer, I would be blunt and straightforward. You can be polite and still blunt. "I have my own beliefs and don't wish to convert to yours. Thanks for stopping by. Have a nice day." If they kept coming back to my home after that, then I would get rude. Sorry, I can understand coming once if that's a part of your religion, but if the same JWs keep coming back even after I say no, I find that to be very rude on their part and have no problem telling them so. I would say the same thing to the same person trying to sell a product, the same person pushing a political candidate etc.

I feel like a lot of people want to tiptoe around them because they are doing it for religious reasons and "we don't want to disrespect their beliefs." How is this any different than a salesman coming to your door time after time to sell the same product? It's not. They can take no for an answer like anyone else, andi f they refuse to leave you alone after that, bets are off, religion or not.

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