Reception Only Invites

kinsey0628 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:66277804-905b-47bb-9b77-34a122163694">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Only Invites : If the ceremony is truly only immediate family (just parents, siblings, and maybe grandparents) it's technically ok from an etiquette, but I personally don't encourage it.
Posted by strlzfan11[/QUOTE]

Huh. Interesting. I had no idea. I genuinely thought the *etiquette* and everyone on this board dictated NO exceptions. This is good to know, though.

SparrowSong · February 2012

No wonder the wedding I went to in Wisconsin was the worst wedding I've ever attended.

mollyehren · February 2012

Are you maybe referring to an afterparty?

Are you saying there is a ceremony, a reception, and then a afterparty at another location?

An afterparty you can invite whoever you want but you would not send a std for.
A ceremony with reception you would send a STD for, but only if you are 100% certain you will send an invite out later.

HuckSC · February 2012

I'm mostly a lurker but I have to chime in that I've missed Mel as well. I always enjoy her posts.

redheadfsu · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:8e1303e3-f190-44f7-a030-88261536a051">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you maybe referring to an afterparty? Are you saying there is a ceremony, a reception, and then a afterparty at another location? An afterparty you can invite whoever you want but you would not send a std for. A ceremony with reception you would send a STD for, but only if you are 100% certain you will send an invite out later.
Posted by mollyehren[/QUOTE]

An after party for those not invited to the actual party is still rude.

Any "after party" should be by word of mouth only (during the actual party). As in " Oh, I'm heading to X bar want to come?" (A paper invite means someone is hosting) <span style="font-weight:bold;">If the people are not at the reception, one could not tell them to come to X bar by word of mouth. </span>

artbyallie · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:1b1e92e1-a414-4a9c-a44e-afa0105ee368">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Only Invites : Wow, that was a great answer. Did you know that most school desks have boogers under them? You know what that means? That means that picking your nose and wiping the boogers under the desk is VERY COMMON. (Yet, stilll incredibly rude.)
Posted by chrmun[/QUOTE]

<div>I think this response wins the thread.</div>

KellyBrian2013 · February 2012

I've been to a variety of weddings in WI and not once have I ever seen a tiered reception (though there was a horrible gap once).

Tiered receptions are RUDE and you're kidding yourself if you think no one will be offended. What happens when someone shows up early and they are still clearing dinner plates? Or worse, still eating?! Does that person have to sit and wait outside for everyone else to finish their dinners because they were more important to feed? So rude.

ceh789 · February 2012

I know that WI seems like another planet from the rest of civilized society, but it's not actually another planet so you don't get to make up your own etiquette rules.

Also, just because you and your friends are rude doesn't mean all Wisconsinites are - I have many friends from WI who are lovely people who wouldn't dream of doing something so tasteless.

ceh789 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:9441d0f5-6654-4df3-8f22-22365656156d">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE] What happens when someone shows up early and they are still clearing dinner plates? Or worse, still eating?! Does that person have to sit and wait outside for everyone else to finish their dinners because they were more important to feed? So rude.
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm pretty sure they're "invited" to help bus tables.</div>

nycheryl · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:383b16c4-33da-4d78-b65e-5b023e1887ce">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]I know that WI seems like another planet from the rest of civilized society, but it's not actually another planet so you don't get to make up your own etiquette rules. Also, just because you and your friends are rude doesn't mean all Wisconsinites are - I have many friends from WI who are lovely people who wouldn't dream of doing something so tasteless.
Posted by ceh789[/QUOTE]

I LOL'd. Finally, someone said what I've been thinking about Wisconsin for the last 31 years.

ahentz09 · February 2012

Yeah, not to pile on or anything, but I grew up in Wisconsin (and am getting married there in fact) and I have never heard of this ever in my life. Sorry.

(I feel so obligated to defend my home state that I had to come out of my month-long lurkerdom just to post this...)

Dont AskMeAgain · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:4185fa4c-21a4-4700-990b-0ef8379f683d">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]. I am not doing STD but I have 2 guest lists, one is people who are invited to everything and one is people who are invited to just the dance. Other posters, remember not every area is the same and there are some different customs. In this area it is very common to only get invited to the dance. I have been many times and never been offended!!
Posted by HannahK15[/QUOTE]

I think this is an outright bad idea. You are pretty much saying, I don't like you enough to feed you or spend time with you. You are better off not inviting them at all. That's a waste of time, money, & energy inviting people you really don't want at your wedding. If I received an invitation like that, not only will I not come, but I would be completely offended & I probably wouldn't talk to you again.

Now to answer your question: if you mean reception only, like the first dance, the meal, the dancing, cake cutting then I think that is fine. Some people will be mad, but if it's based on how many people the ceremony can hold, if it's immediate family only they should understand. Originally we were looking into one venue that could only hold just the immediate family for the ceremony & everyone else would be invited to the reception.

kmmssg · February 2012

Hannah - as pp stated earlier there is a difference between what might be customary in a certain circle and what is correct etiquette. I live in the middle of Dollar Dance America. Of all the weddings I have attended in the last 20 years or so, I can only remember a small handful of them NOT having a dollar dance. And yes, E...I have paid to dance with a groom.

While they are very customary around here, they are not proper etiquette by any stretch so I would never advise a bride to go for it if she is asking on the E board. I just want to encourage you to separate custom from etiquette because they are not the same.

I can tell you the overwhelming majority of the knot finds the dollar dance something that came out of etiquette Hell. Totally understand that. In your circle a dance-only invite seems to be acceptable but if I received one I would be beyond offended. They are both customs, not etiquette.

Reception Only Invites

Re: Reception Only Invites

Choose Another Board

Search Boards