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Anyone else felt this way?
I'm new at writing on these boards, so some of you may be able to help me or give me some advice. I'm not one to wear my feelings on my shoulders or get my feelings hurt easily, but have have any of you kinda felt attacked by some of the comments made by other posters?
I have only posted a few things, but whenever I do, people reply back with things like, "I can't even reply to this post because there are so many typoes," or, "You should really be more aticulate if you want others to post back."
Have any of you had this experience? I don't mean to offend anyone or anything like that, I was just wondering?
Any advice is much appreciated!!
I have only posted a few things, but whenever I do, people reply back with things like, "I can't even reply to this post because there are so many typoes," or, "You should really be more aticulate if you want others to post back."
Have any of you had this experience? I don't mean to offend anyone or anything like that, I was just wondering?
Any advice is much appreciated!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone else felt this way?
How you write on these boards is how you present yourself. It is almost impossible to read posts where the person does not form paragraphs or separate paragraphs with a space. There is a spell check on the bottom bar that should be used every single time.
It is frustrating to read something that is just poorly written. There have been times where I have quoted the question and done proofreading editing on it just so others could read what in the world was written. I had to wait hours to give any answer because of how frustrating it is to read something that isn't written on even a sixth grade level. I put myself in a timeout like this just to make sure I answer the question and don't come off snarky.
Little nitpicking however, I try to avoid.
AKA GoodLuckBear14
OP - If we can't understand what you're asking because we can't get past the typos and lack of punctuation, it's hard for us to help you. That is why people point those things out. It's not meant to be harsh, it's just a fact.
"I TOTALLY agree with you!!! I'm so glad you asked this question. I've personally felt attacked when asking questions too. I really wonder why people have to be so nasty when they are getting married. This is a very happy time and everyone should be nice to one another. I understand honesty, and I appreciate it, but I always think there is a nice way to say things, and a not so nice way. Some people do the later unfortunately."
BMORUZZI - two things: 1) you should change you screen name to something that is not your email address. That just opens you up to people being able to find you and search for you on the internet.
2) People aren't nasty. When I started posting, I though the girls were mean, but I realized that they weren't here to validate my ridiculous thoughts. If you come to these boards looking for validation for something that really truly is a bad idea, we're going to tell you. You're right, there is a nice way to say things, but it's easy to mis-interpret a response that you don't agree with as just a person being mean. That's because we're typing here, you don't get emotions or subtleties through text. Lurk a little more, and you'll realize that there are some great people on here with very valid advice.
[QUOTE]mkrupar, I am not tech savvy and would love for you to tell me how to change my screen name. I went back to the profile section and it says that once you create your screen name, you can't change it. Unfortunately for me I chose to use my email address. I didn't realize at the time that I shouldn't have done it. But, I do have a question for you. Why the hell would someone try to search for me on the internet? Do people really have nothing better to do with their lives? I have nothing to hide.
Posted by bmoruzzi@hotmail.com[/QUOTE]
I'm not saying people will, but there are some f*d up people out there. I think some of the ladies have mentioned people finding out first and last names of other posters and flower orders being cancelled, venues being cancelled, etc. I'm not saying anyone will, but annonimity is one of the only things you've got when you post on a public forum. Unfortunately, you're right, you can't change your screen name once it's created, you'll have to delete this account and start another. It's too bad TK doesn't warn you about those things before creating a SN, but the girls here are pretty good about letting people know having full email addresses are not a good idea.
ETA: These board are public there could be people out there lurking that have nothing to do with weddings, strange I know, but any type of personal information put out there can be used to find you. It's just a safety precaution.
[QUOTE]mkrupar, I am not tech savvy and would love for you to tell me how to change my screen name. I went back to the profile section and it says that once you create your screen name, you can't change it. Unfortunately for me I chose to use my email address. I didn't realize at the time that I shouldn't have done it. But, I do have a question for you. <strong>Why the hell would someone try to search for me on the internet? Do people really have nothing better to do with their lives? I have nothing to hide.</strong>
Posted by bmoruzzi@hotmail.com[/QUOTE]
There are crazy people out there who watch these sites but never post. It's also a way to trace your real identity.
She was just trying to give you friendly advice. I think you have to create a new profile which isn't difficult at all.
AKA GoodLuckBear14
Yes, there are some posters who go over the line, and make personal comments about others. But there's a huge difference between saying that someone is terrible, and saying that their idea is terrible.
And generally, what posters who are regs here are doing is giving a much needed reality check to someone who's read too many bridal magazines, watched too many bridal tv shows, or seen too many bridal websites where the "its YOUR day, do what you want" mentality is pervasive.
And I think too often, people are unable to separate the two. If someone comes on these boards and says "How can I tell my guests that they can only wear the color green to my wedding?" there's a very good chance that I'm going to tell them that they can't because it's a ridiculous idea. It doesn't mean that they're a terrible person. It means that they're on the brink of making a terrible decision.
When my kids were little, I used to tell them, when they screwed up, that I didn't like what they did. But it never meant that I didn't still like/love them.
IMO, 99% of the time someone gets a "mean" response, it's because when they were given feedback that didn't validate their idea, they came back defensive and snotty.
Stick around. Try several boards. Get a feel for which one feels best to you. And if you think that the international boards are "too mean", then stick to local area boards which tend toward validation and less toward "tough love".
GL
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
Seriously? You might want to move on from TK if this is how you're going to react after every post you make.
Posting on one board, getting fairly supportive comments (with the exception of suggesting you articulate a little better so that you are easier understood) then coming to another board and whining about how everyone was "soooo mean and rude", is really lame.
We get that you are excited, we've all been there, so sure, you can forget about grammar. But just because someone suggests that you type legibly, doesn't make them "mean". If you think that's mean, you really need to grow some thicker skin to post on TK. And don't go whining on other boards....we do read them too and it makes people think less of you (for example, I thought you were relatively ok on NEY, now I think you are annoying and whiny)
The comments on my most recent post are not the first ones I have gotten.
[QUOTE]The comments on my most recent post are not the first ones I have gotten.
Posted by lexa10[/QUOTE]
Umm, shouldn't that tell you ANYTHING? I mean, if more than one person is saying something everytime you post, that should be a red flag. So make a change or your'e going to hear the same thing every time.
It looks to me that you aren't as mature as you said in your PP's, to be still a teenager dating a 28 year old man, and there is NO other option than to get married before you get out of school. ::eye roll::
Best wishes to you all!
Let's see, over a week ago you got ONE comment from Stage that a space bar is your friend on Reception Ideas. And then she even broke up your paragraph and still replied to your post without any negativitiy.
And after looking at your posts, that's it besides the latest one on NEY. Quit backpedalling.
[QUOTE]I didn't post this on the other board because my question didn't have anything to do with the topics on that particular board.
Posted by lexa10[/QUOTE]
SMH. Just..just SMH.
[QUOTE]I didn't post this on the other board because my question didn't have anything to do with the topics on that particular board.
Posted by lexa10[/QUOTE]
Either you missed my point or I'm missing yours. My point is: out of all the posts you've made, you've had 3 people (total) suggest that you break your posts into paragraphs and use punctuation to make them easier to read and then you're complaining about how mean people are to you. If you feel that way, fine, just GBCK.
[QUOTE]I didn't post this on the other board because my question didn't have anything to do with the topics on that particular board.
Posted by lexa10[/QUOTE]
If you're done posting, then stop posting and go do something else.
Hawaii with my best friend
Anyways, TK makes ou pick a wedding date so it doesn't mean too much.
Mine says June 2011 but I am not engaged.
I like the community of friends.
[QUOTE]I'm new at writing on these boards, so some of you may be able to help me or give me some advice. I'm not one to wear my feelings on my shoulders or get my feelings hurt easily, but have have any of you kinda felt attacked by some of the comments made by other posters? I have only posted a few things, but whenever I do, people reply back with things like, "I can't even reply to this post because there are so many typoes," or, "You should really be more aticulate if you want others to post back." Have any of you had this experience? I don't mean to offend anyone or anything like that, I was just wondering? Any advice is much appreciated!!
Posted by lexa10[/QUOTE]
I definitely have felt this way. And the fact that people are picking at your post, proves the point. Hang in there. I just found boards that I'm more comfortable posting in.
Personally, I think you're all fab, and can't wait for all the advice you can provide me with, snarky or not!!! (Hey... I have all brothers... I'll take it where I can get it!)