My FI and I are baptists and very religious, but we don't want to get married in our church. We thought having the ceremony and reception in one locatin would be more convenient for everyone and there are some stipulations on photography in our church and we feel that would take away from the most important memories we'll have of our day. The ceremony will be very spiritual, just as if it was in a church.
My dad is not sure what he thinks about it, but my mom thinks it's because he doesn't like new things and people from our church always get married at the church and then go elsewhere for the reception.
We are meeting with our pastor on Friday. We hope he will be flexible, but there is also a chance that he will prefer not to do a wedding that is not in our church.
Do you have any strong feelings either way? Do you think we're being reasonable? Do you have any advice or thoughts?
Re: Church Wedding or no?
Some people may find it odd, though, that you're having a totally "religious" (as much as I dislike that word) ceremony not in a church. As for my personal opinions, I wouldn't find it odd if it was outdoors or in a special venue, but I would find it odd if it was in the hotel ballroom next to the reception. I honestly would feel the couple decided to just have the ceremony there for convenience sake, and would feel they think the party is more important than the covenant they're making.
If you're set on your pastor marrying you, though, you may need to be prepared to be flexible there. For us, we knew that we wanted FI's dad to do the ceremony, and we wanted to find a church with a center aisle. The church I grew up in doesn't have one, and FI's dad is from out of town, so we had to find a church that would allow non-members to use the facility, hold the amount of people on our guest list, and would allow a pastor that was not on staff to officiate the ceremony. Thankfully, our wedding planner found several in the city we're getting married in and we were able to chose one that is significant to my family, and not just a random "pretty building."
Good luck with everything!
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[QUOTE]The Church is the fellowship of believers, not necessarily the building they meet in. If you and your FI don't want your ceremony in the building, there's nothing that says God won't recognize your marriage.Posted by fpaemp2011[/QUOTE]
I aboslutely agree. You are joining a union with you, your FI and God. You can do it absolutely anywhere and it is still the same union, it doesn't make it any different based on where it happens, it's the outcome that matters.
My FI and I decided not to have it at our church. At first some people where like "What??" But after we explained our reason, they had no choice but to stand behind us, we weren't doing anything wrong :-)
Good Luck with it! :-) I will absolutely pray for you! :-)
jason + katherine - wedded 6.18.2011
God was outside before he was in a church building. Walls don't limit the church nor the sacred presence of God. Talk to your parents with your pastor and maybe they'll feel more comfortable with it.
You can go through a tentative ceremony outline to make sure that it feels sacred enough to them - worship/prayers/scripture/etc.
GL!
[QUOTE]Some people just can't understand why the wedding won't be in a church...I have to remind them that's not the only place God hangs out, He's everywhere.
Posted by DanielleB80[/QUOTE]
I giggled a little at this. It is so true. Church is not the only place God hangs out, He's everywhere. Love it.
I will definitely talk to Dad about his feelings. I want my parents' full support and their comfort is obviously important to me.
Well, tomorrow afternoon we'll know what the pastor thinks about it. We do have a few other pastors that we could ask if we needed to, but we really wanted to go with our first choice, because he was our youth pastor and we are closer to him.
ETA: Our pastor is thrilled to do our wedding and open to any venue that we would choose! I'm so excited!
Updated 9/10/11
It is your decision, in the end. Do what makes you happy. As long as your marriage is God-honoring, the location should not matter. Happy planning!
Originally when my FI and I started planning, we were going to do everything at one location as well. It is cost efficient and like it was mentioned before, God is everywhere! It is up to you and your FI. Just because you guys decide to think outside of the box, doesn't make you less of a believer of Jesus Christ. Christian weddings happen everywhere not just in one place. If you and your FI are designed for eachother, it really doesn't matter where you get married, as long as you get married!
I also agree that God is everywhere not just behind the walls of a church. As long as you still put God into your ceremony I see nothing wrong in having the ceremony elsewhere. HTH!
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