should brother in law get +1??
so long story short, my future Brother in law & his gf broke up in Oct. Well they are both in our wedding party. No big deal cuz my Fiancé told them in Sept when they were still together, in the event of a breakup, no +1s for either of them. They both agreed. Well fast forward to now and of course Brother in law already has a new gf. No idea if it will last. I’m not really friends with the new gf. But his family thinks that it's not a good idea that we aren’t' giving his brother a +1, their thoughts are what if they end up together and that this will be over our heads that we didn't invite her to our wedding.. In order to have everyone we want come, we've asked our friends not to bring dates. And I know this will hurt my Bridesmaid’s (his ex) feeling if she sees him with a date and she did not get. They argument is he is family and my friend/bridemaid isn’t family. I didn’t even give my own brother a +1, So I don’t see the big deal. We are having our wedding party sit with us so she would be with guest she doesn’t know. What to do?? Help.. Ideas
Re: should brother in law get +1??
OP, do what MilkDuds said.
[QUOTE]MilkDuds, I admire both the quality of your advice and the patience with which you give it. OP, do what MilkDuds said.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]
This. Milkduds is always so nice about giving advice.
OP please give the plus one. Social units should not be split up.
I'd give your FBIL the plus one, as well as those in your wedding party plus ones. Make sure you have space to do so first, of course, but accomodate that at the very least. Think of how you'd feel if you were in the ex girlfriend's shoes--how would you want the bride to handle things? I'd want a plus one to not feel awkward.
man....what a pickle! for one reason and one reason only....BOTH of them agreed that when the time came, they were OK with not having a +1.
I do think you should invite everyone who is in a relationship with their +1....family or not. I understand that the BM's feelings may be sensitive....but really they would be no matter what. I would think that she could put on her big girl panties for your wedding.
Please reconsider your invite list for everyone in a relationship, including your BIL. ANYONE in a relationship (no matter for how long) at the time your invites go out, should be invited with their SO. It is very, very rude to not invite couples together.
I understand your concern about your BM being upset to see your BIL with a new GF, but that's part of being an adult. People move on, he did, and she should too. If you are that concerned about it though, you should let her bring a guest also, even if she's not in a relationship.
Next, it's common that everyone in your BP gets a +1, even at weddings like yours where regular guests can only get a +1 if they are engaged or married. Your BIL and his exgf are both in your BP, so they should get a +1. Your FI really shouldn't have proposed the deal where if they break up, neither one gets a +1.
Finally, your invitations won't go out until mid-July. This is January. So no decisions need to be made NOW, even if BIL is pushing.
Let this ride until July4 and see who BIL brings to the holiday picnic.
[QUOTE]No big deal cuz my Fiancé told them in Sept when they were still together, in the event of a breakup, no +1s for either of them.
Posted by geckos241[/QUOTE]
<div>I don't understand why he would say something like that to them. </div><div>
</div><div>In any event, the new girlfriend has to be invited. She is a s/o, not a +1. If the ex can't get over it and deal with the fact that he's moved on, she can stay home. She doesn't get to dictate when her ex starts seeing other people. </div>
It is even ruder to be breaking up any social units, ie your friends. You should have either found a larger or move affordable venue to accomodate any SO of your friends and family. Or you should have cut your guest list down.
Fall Wedding Bio
Fall Wedding Bio
When we made the choice orginally we were only going to invite people who had been together over a year or were engaged/married as a couple and everyone else as a single.
I recently had to make this decison with my sister who is my MOH she left her SO of 4 Years and we decided to only give her a +1 because we had already taken her ex into head count otherwise she wouldnt be gettting another +1.
[QUOTE]lyn, what kind of puppy do you have?
Posted by TiffannieF[/QUOTE]
<div>English Bulldog. </div>
Fall Wedding Bio
[QUOTE]If no one else gets +1 then he dosent either. Sorry. When we made the choice orginally we were only going to invite people who had been together over a year or were engaged/married as a couple and everyone else as a single. I recently had to make this decison with my sister who is my MOH she left her SO of 4 Years and we decided to only give her a +1 because we had already taken her ex into head count otherwise she wouldnt be gettting another +1.
Posted by 1BabyFritsch[/QUOTE]
OP - Don't listen to this poster. Her advice is rude and horrible.
Baby - It's not up to you to decide if a couple is serious or not. 1 year of dating? Really? Are we in high school? Why such an arbitrary number? H and I were engaged at 6 months.
Only TRULY single people are to be invited as singles. You are being incredibly rude and judgemental.
[QUOTE]SO STICKIN CUTE!!!!!!!!!
Posted by TiffannieF[/QUOTE]
<div>Thx... Here another </div><div>
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Since our guest list would be close to 250 allowing everyone to just bring whoever they wanted and without it we are looking more like 210 and the expense(almost 3000) of the extra people we dont know and who dont know us was just to great.