Really

mromag1 · February 2010

My sister wants the ring bearer, her son, to wear an eton suit because she thinks boys a little tux are tacky. She has threaten to pull him out of the wedding if he is placed in one. My Fi hates the eton suit and wants him dressed in a tux because he will be five. If my sister wants him in ballet flats I am going to lose it!

Blueyed228 · February 2010

Is she talking shorts, stockings and all?

mromag1 · February 2010

Yep, and she wants it in white. My dress is ivory.

Blueyed228 · February 2010

Oh god. You can list the reasons. First: Her son is going to have to look at those pics later on in life. That should be enough for her not to want to do it.

That style is cute on really little ones, but Im with you on the age thing. Thats too old for that style in my opinion.

If reasoning doesnt work, just tell her the suit is fine, but only if its in hot pink.

mromag1 · February 2010

hahaha, hot pink that is funny.

SarahPLiz · February 2010

I don't think you should stress over this. The color won't matter that much. If the kid is 5, he should be able to tell you what he prefers to wear.

megandjay · February 2010

I think he should wear a Buzz Light year outfit, that is probably what he would prefer anyway...(or I am totally behind and 5 year old have moved on to Transformers or something???)

banana468 · February 2010

Technically, a tux on a child is inappropriate. Both for looks and from an etiquette perspective.

Can you meet this sis on a compromise somewhere? Bottom line though is that she gets to choose how to dress her child though - not you.

Katie829 · February 2010

why is a tux on a child innapproriate??

anyways I would say fine pull your child, hoping she will be bluffing. I think he would look like a costume or something. Good Luck

Blueyed228 · February 2010

Why cant he just wear a cute suit or dress pants and a vest? Somthing like this ( hopefully he will be happier to wear it than this kid)

plessjm · February 2010

never heard of tuxes on little boys as inappropiate...i guess bridal retail stores should get a clue and stop offerring them. It might be her kid but its your wedding and that is just one of the things a parent gives up when they agree to have their son in your wedding. Get a suit instead of a tux the only difference is the lapels and fabric covered buttons. The eton suit will look like a costume and you are going to be looking at your pictures for the rest of your life not her.

Call her bluff about pulling him out if she refuses to your clothing choice,

noisy_penguin · February 2010

Your sister is a freak.

kimheartsscott · February 2010

Let him wear it. It simplifies everything. For example: instead of some boring white pillow, you can have him put the rings in his pocket, and then he can roll a stick and a hoop down the aisle. Also, has the term "jaunty cap" yet sprung to mind?

luckyme502 · February 2010

I agree with calling her bluff!

britne28 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_really-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:78f0573b-e411-4d03-98ea-1465d1d2ecb2Post:4ddefd36-72f0-4546-bace-48797c3edd5a">Re: Really</a>:
[QUOTE]Technically, a tux on a child is inappropriate. Both for looks and from an etiquette perspective. Can you meet this sis on a compromise somewhere? Bottom line though is that she gets to choose how to dress her child though - not you.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

Why for etiquette?

nyrek · February 2010

This makes me think of the Dr. Pepper commercial

jrsygirl99 · February 2010

i say let her pull him from the wedding those suits are totaly gay and its your wedding he wears what you want him to wear or he wears nothing and stays with a baby sitter.

buddhagouda · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_really-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78f0573b-e411-4d03-98ea-1465d1d2ecb2Post:af9ddbcc-ee26-4d9a-926e-e4983babaaf9">Re: Really</a>:
[QUOTE]i say let her pull him from the wedding those suits are totaly gay and its your wedding he wears what you want him to wear or he wears nothing and stays with a baby sitter.
Posted by jrsygirl99[/QUOTE]

<div>Wow. Just wow. </div>

HappyTummy613 · February 2010

What an awesome first post.

buddhagouda · February 2010

Indeed, I can see that this one will fit in well.

suz62984 · February 2010

How is a tux inappropriate? How does the final say go to the mom in your wedding? Just wondering. You pick out the tux's, bridesmaid dresses, etc because it's your wedding-she doesn't get a say. Have any other boys that could fill in? Try to meet her on common ground (I like the pic blueyed posted). If not, call the bluff. Don't let him wear something you and your FI hate though. You'll have to look at these pics forever!

noisy_penguin · February 2010

Oh, sorry, don't mind me. I'm just burning the SN "jrsygiri99" into my memory. I'm sure it will come in handy in the future.

banana468 · February 2010

I'd have to do more research on the actual verbage but a child doesn't belong in attire for an adult.

Yes, putting kids in a tux is popular but they don't belong in the formal attire of grown adults. It's inappropriate - just like it's inappropriate to put a little girl in an evening gown (toddlers and tiaras anyone??)

And the bottom line is that mom gets to chose what her kid wears. Suz, you don't get that mom gets the final say? It's HER kid. It may be someone's wedding but that doesn't change the role of a parent. Mom and dad get absolute veto on what their kid wears. How is that hard to understand? Just like a BM gets to say whether or not she'll wear the dress (unless you're a heartless bride) the mom of the attendant gets absolute veto if the kid is too young to make choices (or buy his own clothes).

And seriously Suz62984? You'd want to "replace" a kid over clothing? Replacing people in the WP is never OK and it's worse when you're doing that to a kid of the (OMFG) photos.

Jrsygrl, I'm sorry, did you say something?

buddhagouda · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_really-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78f0573b-e411-4d03-98ea-1465d1d2ecb2Post:3e4e8773-0790-44aa-8712-71aa9971b779">Re: Really</a>:
[QUOTE]And the bottom line is that mom gets to chose what her kid wears. Suz, you don't get that mom gets the final say? It's HER kid. It may be someone's wedding but that doesn't change the role of a parent. Mom and dad get absolute veto on what their kid wears. How is that hard to understand? Just like a BM gets to say whether or not she'll wear the dress (unless you're a heartless bride) the mom of the attendant gets absolute veto if the kid is too young to make choices (or buy his own clothes).
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I actually don't agree with this. I took my FG and her mom shopping, and we all picked a dress together that all three of us liked. I would never have insisted she wear something the mom didn't approve of, but I also would not have wanted her wearing something that I hated that did not fit the overall theme of the wedding. </div><div>
</div><div>When you agree to be in a wedding, you agree to wear proper wedding party attire.

</div>

Liz4444 · February 2010

according to ettiquite books, a tuxedo on anyone under 18 is inappropriate. i happen to think little boys in tuxes are adorable!

could you put both outfits in front of your nephew and ask him which he wants to wear? at 5, he's old enough to have an opinion.

HappyTummy613 · February 2010

I don't really think a tuxedo on a little boy has the same air of creepiness as a ball gown and a face full of maeup does on a little girl.

jrsygirl99 · February 2010

let me ask this question, if you are asked to be in someones wedding and are not crazy about the dress the bride picks would you refuse to wear it?, insist you wear something of your own choice? or decide not to be in the wedding? im pretty sure most of you would just wear what the bride picks. i've been in a bunch of wedding and trust me i have worn some dressed i would have never picked myself but thats what the bride wants so thats what i do.

HappyTummy613 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_really-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78f0573b-e411-4d03-98ea-1465d1d2ecb2Post:f5adca35-a907-4cb4-8f6e-3f094040a593">Re: Really</a>:
[QUOTE] i've been in a bunch of wedding and trust me i have worn some dressed i would have never picked myself but thats what the bride wants so thats what i do.
Posted by jrsygirl99[/QUOTE]

Even if the dresses were gay?

buddhagouda · February 2010

Yeah, what if the dress looked like this?

FG085-rainbow.JPG.jpg

banana468 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_really-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:78f0573b-e411-4d03-98ea-1465d1d2ecb2Post:d664a171-b038-430e-a6bb-c5a073ba7de9">Re: Really</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Really : I actually don't agree with this. I took my FG and her mom shopping, and we all picked a dress together that all three of us liked. I would never have insisted she wear something the mom didn't approve of, but I also would not have wanted her wearing something that I hated that did not fit the overall theme of the wedding. When you agree to be in a wedding, you agree to wear proper wedding party attire.
Posted by buddhagouda[/QUOTE]

Buddha, I actually do agree with you there. The parent does need to understand that the attire her kid wears needs to match the formality / theme.

My point is that the parent gets ultimate decision power on the kid's attire though - and ideally that's something that all can come to an agreement on.

FWIW, I've worn dresses that I didn't "love" but if I hated anything for some reason, I'd speak up.

suz62984 · February 2010

haha-Banana. Good to know I push your buttons. The mom/sister is threatening to pull the kid out over clothing. I'm just simply ask if she has another boy family member that would want that spot. Kids don't care about being "replaced"-they're just excited to do it.

And thanks Buddha-you said what I was meant so much better in the reply about banana. When you agree to be in a wedding, or you agree to have your kids in a wedding, you agree to wear what the bride and groom pick out. Demanding that your child wears a specific outfit or you will pull him out of your sister's wedding is heartless. I have a zebra stripped BM dress that cost me $300 for my cousin's wedding. Was it the worst thing to ever grace this earth? Yes Was it my wedding day? No Did I wear it because I was a BM and that's what the bride wanted? Yes

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