Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux

QueerFemme · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:8a89bdf2-2fa6-4364-8a97-7fe6bc7de4a6">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : We could never pay for the wedding we want. Yeah we could have a courthouse wedding but we don't want that. We'd be waiting years to be able to have a wedding if we had to save for it... no delaying. My fiance has no problem if anyone buys it for him- HE just doesn't want to buy it himself. He has no problem with it if my father or I buy it- I just have to get my father to agree to that.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

A LOT of people wait YEARS to have the wedding they want. Honestly, I don't know why you continue to complain about anything wedding related, if your solution is just to let Dad have what he wants anyway. Just let him plan the wedding, and ask him to tell you when to show up. And, make sure your future husband is prepared for that fact that he won't have much of a say in your lives if your Dad has an alternate opinion.

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:f5401b7d-f329-4212-8ee8-59fee58e7e40">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : A LOT of people wait YEARS to have the wedding they want. Honestly, I don't know why you continue to complain about anything wedding related, if your solution is just to let Dad have what he wants anyway. Just let him plan the wedding, and ask him to tell you when to show up. And, make sure your future husband is prepared for that fact that he won't have much of a say in your lives if your Dad has an alternate opinion.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

I've already been with him 13 years. I think we have waited long enough. Thank you though.

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:35526f74-d08c-4ffb-90c9-d56c14b52130">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : I've already been with him 13 years. I think we have waited long enough. Thank you though.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

And CMGILPIN: did you read my post a few posts up? It is my FI's PREFERENCE to wear a tux over a suit.. BUT NOT a rental. The problem is he doesn't want to buy a tux so the suit is his second choice- he WANTS the bought tux, but chances are no one will buy it for him (maybe), that is why he saying he wants to wear a suit over a tux... but really he is fine with a bought tux, it's the rental that's the problem

[Deleted User] · December 2012

Let him pick what he wants to wear and make everyone else dress accordingly based on what he picks out.

AddieCake · December 2012

Well, someone is going to have to get over himself, be it your father or your fiance. Either your father is going to have to just accept your fiance in a suit or your fiance is going to have to wear a rented tux. Either that, or one of them is going to have to shell out for the tux. And I think buying a tux is a waste of money.

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:57b16698-e49f-4d85-9fb5-7567931763b6">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : It seems like it wouldn't be that hard to get your father to agree to it, since having FI in a tux is obviously so important to him. However, it is setting the precident that the two of you will do his bidding, so long as he is buying. It seems like he gives things as gifts, but those gifts come with strings that are used to manipulate you (and FI) into doing things dad's way. Is that okay with you and FI?
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

He's been with me 13 years, he knows the drill by now. The choice is a wedding not 100% our way or how we envisioned it but a very nice wedding nonetheless, a courthouse wedding (which we whould hate everything about) OR no wedding. This is certainly not ideal in our world of how we would do things, and maybe I should not complain, but I'm being given a lot and I feel b/c it's not my money, I just have to accept it.

I probably should have changed the title of this thread, lol.

itzMS · December 2012

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:b1f9e23f-a35c-43f5-ab62-617193d3d49d">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : And CMGILPIN: did you read my post a few posts up? <strong>It is my FI's PREFERENCE to wear a tux over a suit..</strong> BUT NOT a rental. The problem is he doesn't want to buy a tux so the suit is his second choice- he WANTS the bought tux, but chances are no one will buy it for him (maybe), that is why he saying he wants to wear a suit over a tux... but really he is fine with a bought tux, it's the rental that's the problem
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

This is a ridiculous statement. Look at the subject of your thread "Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux".

Honestly, if you go to Men's Wearhouse you can purchase a tailored suit or a tailored tuxedo for the SAME PRICE. Especially if people in your circle have lots of black tie type events and weddings like you claim, this is a good investment for your FI.

I have no idea what the issue is here. My good lord.</div>

masdumas · December 2012

so as a groom here is my take - if you are having a black tie wedding, and are saying so on your invites, then as a groom you need to wear a tux. I know everyone is saying that "he's the groom, he can wear what he wants" but if you set the bar, then you have to live by that bar.

good luck

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:759ff70b-8e4e-4a7c-bc16-43f15ef3e03c">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]so as a groom here is my take - if you are having a black tie wedding, and are saying so on your invites, then as a groom you need to wear a tux. I know everyone is saying that "he's the groom, he can wear what he wants" but if you set the bar, then you have to live by that bar. good luck
Posted by masdumas[/QUOTE]

Thank you. It is basically black tie, unstated. Everyone knows my venue is fine for suits, but tuxes really SHOULD be worn, tuxes really are what is IDEAL.

Of course anyone can wear whatever thay want, but there's something to be said about kind of dressing for the venue and the event. yeah if someone wants to wear sweatpants no one will say no but they will look like an idiot. My FI certainly would not look like an idiot but everyone knows that as the groom, the tux really shoudl be the expected garment.

QueerFemme · December 2012

You've been together for 13 years, maybe you should have started saving for your dream wedding a long time ago, so your fiance wouldn't be forced to do what your father wants. And, you wouldn't have to let him sing at your wedding as well as any other ridiculous things your father is demanding.

I DID see that you say NOW that your fiance's preference is to wear a tux, but just not pay for it. But, that sure seems like a new addition, now that everyone has told you that forcing him to wear a tux isn't your or your father's place. But, whatever. If he wanted to wear a tux originally, but just didn't want to pay for it, don't you think he would have suggested someone else buy it for him?

LDubHawksFan · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:35526f74-d08c-4ffb-90c9-d56c14b52130">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : I've already been with him 13 years. I think we have waited long enough. Thank you though.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

Ok, I'll buy that your FI doesn't like wearing rented clothing, fine. If you are really having a $40-60K wedding, isn't the cost of buying a tux a drop in the bucket?! Are you sure this is the wedding your FI wants?

Also, I would think that after 13 years together you would either have more saved up for your future life together and wedding, or the desire to finally be married to him would outweigh the need to have the extravagent showy wedding. Sometimes you can't have everything that you want and I think that if daddy is going to have this many strings attached, I would forego the $40K wedding to have the day that FI and I want.

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:3c438a6f-b34a-4d9c-8712-a035902cccda">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : This is a ridiculous statement. Look at the subject of your thread "Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux". Honestly, if you go to Men's Wearhouse you can purchase a tailored suit or a tailored tuxedo for the SAME PRICE. Especially if people in your circle have lots of black tie type events and weddings like you claim, this is a good investment for your FI. I have no idea what the issue is here. My good lord.
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

I admitted I should have changed the thread title...

I also stated multiple times what the issue is.

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:beb52518-a13f-493b-948c-e466d7b45142">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]You've been together for 13 years, maybe you should have started saving for your dream wedding a long time ago, so your fiance wouldn't be forced to do what your father wants. And, you wouldn't have to let him sing at your wedding as well as any other ridiculous things your father is demanding. I DID see that you say NOW that your fiance's preference is to wear a tux, but just not pay for it. But, that sure seems like a new addition, now that everyone has told you that forcing him to wear a tux isn't your or your father's place. But, whatever. If he wanted to wear a tux originally, but just didn't want to pay for it, don't you think he would have suggested someone else buy it for him?
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

How do you ask someone to buy you a tux? That is rude. If someone offers that is one thing, but he cannot ASK.

Darbie914 · December 2012

So wait...your dad is paying for the entire wedding and your FI can't shell out the money to buy his own tux????

LDubHawksFan · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:5af7513e-0f83-40d4-9d8a-bc71364957b5">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : Thank you. It is basically black tie, unstated. Everyone knows my venue is fine for suits, but tuxes really SHOULD be worn, tuxes really are what is IDEAL. Of course anyone can wear whatever thay want, but there's something to be said about kind of dressing for the venue and the event. yeah if someone wants to wear sweatpants no one will say no but they will look like an idiot. My FI certainly would not look like an idiot but everyone knows that as the groom, the tux really shoudl be the expected garment.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

I can't wait to hear in several months about how most of your guests didn't wear a tux to your unstated black tie affair. It is either black tie or not....

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:4fead54e-af2a-49f4-8ede-5579ead2ac86">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]So wait...your dad is paying for the entire wedding and your FI can't shell out the money to buy his own tux????
Posted by Darbie914[/QUOTE]

Yeah we are not rich... I don't know if you thought we were (?)

QueerFemme · December 2012

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:bc8d2c82-98b4-432b-a910-120a3af491e0">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : How do you ask someone to buy you a tux? That is rude. If someone offers that is one thing, but he cannot ASK.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

He can't ask YOU, his future wife, to buy him a tuxedo? </div>

courtski2004 · December 2012

Buying a tux is not ridiculously expensive. Since you mentioned that the cost of renting isn't the issue then how would purchasing one be an inconvenience if it could potentially cost $50 more? Since a suit would be OMG offensive, this is your only other option if you aren't going to stand up for your FI to Dad and just say 'he's wearing a suit, end of story'.

You're making a mountain out of a molehill.

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:ad06f377-4d2f-4b5a-bb0c-9f2a6232d22f">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : I don't think we can solve this for you. You and FI have to decide what kind of compromises you are willing to make and whether or not you want to let dad buy his way with the two of you. It is your life, and the two of you have to live it. Quite frankly, if the compromise for the 60k wedding is putting on the tux, and I couldn't get married any other way, I'd just do it. That being said, our wedding was less than a third of that and had top shelf open bar, sit down dinner with tableside choice, and full venetian hour, so you might be able to afford the wedding you want without dad's help. Maybe you just need to shop around and decide what things aren't necessary.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

That sounds lovely but where I live you can't get a wedding with all that for 1/3 the price of what we are paying now. I know it doesn't seem that way but our wedding is pretty basic- no viennese hour, no photo booth, no top-shelf liquor, no silly chocolate fountain or cotton candy machine... food, dancing, open bar with basic liquor and that's it. Yes we could have it at a less fancy venue but most venues by me are this way... unless we wanted to go non-traditional then we could do a restaurant or something but any LI traditional wedding on a saturday night is going to be pretty fancy.

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:d3473652-362b-4164-8161-c2f6475db12c">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : He can't ask YOU, his future wife, to buy him a tuxedo?
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

I offered to and very well may.

Darbie914 · December 2012

No but I'm assumig that your dad is so if you aren't putting a dime into this wedding then surely (assuming you both have jobs) he should be able to afford to buy a freaking tux. And secondly, it's YOUR wedding and he should not expect OR ask someone to buy him a tux. If he doesn't want to rent one and is being super picky, then that's on him.

itzMS · December 2012

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:119f307a-93d0-4908-813e-eeb94e7eb6e1">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : Yeah we are not rich... I don't know if you thought we were (?)
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

You can get a custom tailored tuxedo from Men's Wearhouse for $300. Really and truly (see link below). In the 13 years leading up to your wedding, your FI doesn't have $300 in his savings account to buy a tuxedo (or suit or WHATEVER) for his own wedding?

<a href="http://www.menswearhouse.com/shop/n__menswear_/tuxedos/formalwear/~/N-1z141w7Z12Z1z141wx/Ne-9/catID-57124_12751_12001_-1" rel="nofollow">http://www.menswearhouse.com/shop/n__menswear_/tuxedos/formalwear/~/N-1z141w7Z12Z1z141wx/Ne-9/catID-57124_12751_12001_-1</a>___
</div>

QueerFemme · December 2012

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:507a25c6-536a-4c7d-9836-21e53b2fb367">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : I offered to and very well may.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

Ok. what you are saying doesn't make sense. You offered to. Did he decline? You said it was his desire to wear a tux, but didn't want to pay for one. So, if it was his desire to wear one, but didn't want to pay for one, but you offered and he declined... none of that adds up.

And, how are you having a "mostly black tie", upscale event, and not providing top shelf liquor?
</div>

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:44aa2930-cd45-4f32-988a-4cb72eb38b10">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : You can get a custom tailored tuxedo from Men's Wearhouse for $300. Really and truly (see link below). In the 13 years leading up to your wedding, your FI doesn't have $300 in his savings account to buy a tuxedo (or suit or WHATEVER) for his own wedding? <a href="http://www.menswearhouse.com/shop/n__menswear_/tuxedos/formalwear/~/N-1z141w7Z12Z1z141wx/Ne-9/catID-57124_12751_12001_-1" rel="nofollow">http://www.menswearhouse.com/shop/n__menswear_/tuxedos/formalwear/~/N-1z141w7Z12Z1z141wx/Ne-9/catID-57124_12751_12001_-1</a> ___
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

We have a lot of debt unfortunately. I'm not happy about that but I've made many mistakes with my money when I was younger which I regret now, but this is why we waited this long. We have a long way to go to get our finances in order but this is a start. I don't have college loans like he does- I just liked clothes and shoes too much in my 20's.

I made a mistake, we all know that, but I would buy him a tux somehow if it meant everyone being happy.

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:26127cd3-8b4b-4ee5-b2c6-c32e8081d297">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : Ok. what you are saying doesn't make sense. You offered to. Did he decline? You said it was his desire to wear a tux, but didn't want to pay for one. So, if it was his desire to wear one, but didn't want to pay for one, but you offered and he declined... none of that adds up. And, how are you having a "mostly black tie", upscale event, and not providing top shelf liquor?
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

he didn't decline- where did I say that he did?

We don't feel top shelf liquor is necessary. We are having an open bar, we do not need to have top shelf liquor.

[Deleted User] · December 2012

Ok, I'm going to try to put a few things together so bear with me.

If you don't have the money, really, to buy a tux (even if you're offering, it's both of your finances now in a way, so he probably won't want that because he doesn't want to waste money on it), you go to dad and say "gee, I'm sorry but we're stuck here. You know FI has a thing with germs and he really will not be ok wearing a rental tux. As you know, we also can't really afford a big purchase like that so is his suit ok?" Dad will either say "ok fine" or offer to buy the tux most likely. So...there you go, problem solved.

FWIW, if the money is really becoming an issue, with this being so fancy and so many strings and all, Northern NJ has many lovely venues that are MUCH cheaper. My wedding will be 175 people, top shelf for 5 hours, TONS of food at cocktail hour, 4 meal choices tableside, and venetian hour for about $30k (that includes dj, photog, favors, everything). We found several places like that and just picked the one we liked best.

ETA: clarity

LDubHawksFan · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:119f307a-93d0-4908-813e-eeb94e7eb6e1">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : Yeah we are not rich... I don't know if you thought we were (?)
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

You are the ones having a black tie (optional) affair that is requiring others to wear tuxes, which most people would have to spend the money on.

Also, it might be good for you both to start thinking of your funds together. You keep speaking about how <em>you</em> will buy him the tux but he doesn't want to spend the money. Soon what's yours is his and his is yours, so maybe he really does have a problem with X amount of <em>your</em> <em>collective </em>money being spent on that particular thing.

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:9d667e17-9a84-4683-ba21-a0a922aa0d28">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, I'm going to try to put a few things together so bear with me. If you don't have the money, really, to buy a tux (even if you're offering, it's both of your finances now in a way, so he probably won't want that because he doesn't want to waste money on it), you go to dad and say "gee, I'm sorry but we're stuck here. You know FI has a thing with germs and he really will not be ok wearing a rental tux. As you know, we also can't really afford a big purchase like that so is his suit ok?" Dad will either say "ok fine" or offer to buy the tux most likely. So...there you go, problem solved. FWIW, if the money is really becoming an issue, with this being so fancy and so many strings and all, Northern NJ has many lovely venues that are MUCH cheaper. My wedding will be 175 people, top shelf for 5 hours, TONS of food at cocktail hour, 4 meal choices tableside, and venetian hour for about $30k (that includes dj, photog, favors, everything). We found several places like that and just picked the one we liked best. ETA: clarity
Posted by vonclancy[/QUOTE]

Northen NJ is far for us, but I could look into it. We've already paid the $$ for the venue and prob cannot get it back at this point though I would imagine. Thank you though.

QueerFemme · December 2012

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:8efe7811-9bea-413b-9646-2210209173c3">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : he didn't decline- where did I say that he did? We don't feel top shelf liquor is necessary. We are having an open bar, we do not need to have top shelf liquor.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

A recap of your various posts:

You initially said he <strong><u>wanted</u></strong> to wear a suit instead of a tux. But, you wanted to satisfy your family because THEY will be wearing tuxes and your wedding is super fancy. So, FI wearing a suit would be disrespectful to your dad and your fancy wedding/venue.

Then, you said he REALLY wanted a tux the whole time, but HE didn't want to spend the money on it and didn't want a rental.

Then, you said YOU offered to buy it. But, he must still want to wear a suit, otherwise, why would you be coming here posting about it.

That all adds up to, you either didn't offer (unless you just did while having this whole conversation online), or he declined, since this is still even an issue.

The whole time, you are worried about your dad pulling funding from a fancy, black tie-ish wedding (but, without top shelf liquor) that you can't afford, just because your fiance wants to wear a suit (or can't afford/doesn't want to buy a tux).

Either you didn't offer, or he doesn't want you buying him a tux or really doesn't want one. And either your dad is big jerk (if you really think he would even remotely consider pulling funding over FI wearing a suit), or you are overexaggerating the significance of the tux in the first place</div>.

AddieCake · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiance-wants-to-wear-suit-instead-of-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:70a14f7b-cc8e-4e90-949d-f1f36b94eeb0Post:8efe7811-9bea-413b-9646-2210209173c3">Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux : he didn't decline- where did I say that he did? <strong>We don't feel top shelf liquor is necessary. We are having an open bar, we do not need to have top shelf liquor.</strong>
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>If I were going to get fancied up in my tux as a guest to come to this upscale shindig as you say many will be, I'd be expecting top shelf liquor.</div>

Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux

Re: Fiance wants to wear suit instead of tux

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