s/o Kuus hating infertiles

zsazsa-stl · April 2010

I don't agree with Kuus, but we all know that she is a robot without feeling.

Actually, she likes to keep things wrapped up in top secret envelopes and I think it bothers her when other people (like Anasara) border on oversharing. Maybe she wants to be in babyland and isn't, but unlike Anasara, she is going to keep that wrapped up tight and resents other people who shout it from the mountaintops and collect sympathy.

Kuus, did you get unfriended?

hmonkey · April 2010

s/o Kuus hating infertiles:

what is this in reference to?

NOLABridesmaid · April 2010

Did I miss something?

mrsconn23 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_kuus-hating-infertiles?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:f20ee6bf-9459-4c0e-adb6-b3ddd79c31b1Post:880a09c1-7064-496d-89eb-a097c6740b14">Re: s/o Kuus hating infertiles</a>:
[QUOTE]Did I miss something?
Posted by NOLABridesmaid[/QUOTE]

So I'm not the only one?

loveshine1 · April 2010

Read L&R's post below, and if you're friends with Anasara on FB, read the comment that Kuus posted.

LnR70707 · April 2010

I'm all for calling things how you see them, but generalizations piss me off. And voicing your lack of support in an awareness status update is also extremely douchey.

I should page Kuus with a giant picture of cheese.

LnR70707 · April 2010

here is what she posted after people told her she was insensitive on FB.

http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/1/35756116/ShowThread.aspx

GBCK · April 2010

if I could GET to thenest, I'd link to the TIP post.

The entire thing, including Kuus's bit, made me stabby and my day was going to badly for me to comment yesterday...

So I'll say a small rant here.
I HATE it when people would rather hate on the sterotype than take the time to deal w/ the reality. Of *course* there are annoying IF people...in part because the non-annoying ones...well, you don't necessarily know they're IF, do you? (the whole "it should be a secret/1 in 10 peole has this damn secret" is another discussion)

Just like people don't realise that the Mr. is a gamer when he's at work (and choose to believe the smelly 19 YOs in their parents basement = all gamers) and they don't realise that I have ADHD when I"m functioning in life (and choose to believe the media-fueld idea of a hyperactive 10YO who is diagnoised rather than parented is what ADHD is) and they don't think of my assertive, sassy baby sis when they think of an abused woman (they'd rather think of a crack-ho or someone who was always meek, not the girl who could stand her ground and who has never hesitated to stand up to anyone...until the guy 'broke' her)

The whole "I hate X group (I know, I know, the OP didn't say 'hate' but, same general idea) because I know 3 peole who are a part of that group and they have x bad trait" burns me up.

We're all smart enough to know that anecdote =/= data and, yeah, some sterotypes exist for a reason...but some sterotypes exist because the loud people are the ones we see.

*Barbie* · April 2010

I think kuus overgeneralized, and imoan said it a bit better - the people with IF that are constantly whining about it - that's annyoning. (as are people who constantly whine about anything.)

My SIL A had issues with IF and never really complained about it to me or at family gatherings. The only thing that she ever really said was that she found it really frustrating/upsetting when she or her H had students that got pregnant, and they were having issues TTC. (Both A and her H are special ed teachers - she has middle school kids, and he has HS kids) I can see where she was coming from with that - these special ed kids, with no spouse, no jobs, no way of caring for a child are getting KU, and meanwhile A and her H have a stable marriage, their own home, jobs, etc. and they can't get pg. She didn't openly share the whole history of all of her treatments - or throw a fit when babies were mentioned. Other SIL, T, was a little worried about upsetting A when she had an "oops" pregnancy - but publicly, A was always very happy and supportive of her sister. Luckily for A, after about a year and a half of trying, they got pg with niece.

*Barbie* · April 2010

I think the gigantic siggies detailing someone's entire medical history are ridiculous. I'm not interested in knowing about your husband's sperm count or motility in 4/09, or how you had an issue with your left ovary sometime in the late 90's. I don't think they really serve any purpose - but for the most part, I don't see them on boards I read, so I just don't comment.

NOLABridesmaid · April 2010

Women are interesting. We will debate a topic to death.

hmonkey · April 2010

barbie reminded me -- i have to change my sig.

LnR70707 · April 2010

Imoan didn't make her point too clear last night, and I think her siggy is obnoxious...yes, she said it makes fun of everyone (IFers, people who got pregnant easily, etc.) but those that don't have trouble don't have anything to make it long!! I agree that some are ridiculous, but if you only post on an IF board and it makes it easier than writing out 4 years of treatments every time you need to ask a question, whoTF cares?

LnR70707 · April 2010

Barbie - I debated a long time before putting mine in, but after having to explain what I'd had done time and time again, it was just easier...and this is the only non-baby board I post on. If I posted on multiple nonTTC boards I'd probably take it out. I try to keep it as short as possible (actually I should shorten it again now that we aren't doing any treatments).

*Barbie* · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_kuus-hating-infertiles?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:f20ee6bf-9459-4c0e-adb6-b3ddd79c31b1Post:bd8506e3-c8fd-49be-a472-f1559f7c1749">Re: s/o Kuus hating infertiles</a>:
[QUOTE] I agree that some are ridiculous, but if you only post on an IF board and it makes it easier than writing out 4 years of treatments every time you need to ask a question, whoTF cares?
Posted by L&R70707[/QUOTE]

<div>there's a difference between a few lines and a novella. will knowing all of someone's medical history really help anyways? I mean, if the board was full of REs/Drs/OBGyn, etc. then yeah, would make sense - but I don't think that the average person going through any kind of treatments (whether IF or another medical issue on a different board) is going to know enough about the technical side of the treatments to be able to provide any real advice. (Then again, I'm ignorant to the people who post on the IF board - maybe it is chock full of medical professionals waiting to hand out advice...I also don't know of the typical questions asked, as I said, I don't frequent those boards by any means)</div><div>
</div>

*Barbie* · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_kuus-hating-infertiles?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:f20ee6bf-9459-4c0e-adb6-b3ddd79c31b1Post:2e051ad6-b748-413b-a85d-3fb5847467a6">Re: s/o Kuus hating infertiles</a>:
[QUOTE]Barbie - I debated a long time before putting mine in, but after having to explain what I'd had done time and time again, it was just easier...and this is the only non-baby board I post on. If I posted on multiple nonTTC boards I'd probably take it out. I try to keep it as short as possible (actually I should shorten it again now that we aren't doing any treatments).
Posted by L&R70707[/QUOTE]

<div>yeah, and i think you're the only one on here who does - but yours isn't obnoxiously long, and I know that you frequent the TTTC board. there were some on Kuus' post that took up half a page. </div>

loveshine1 · April 2010

They are not medical professionals by any means.

I had a question about my cycle, and I posted, "I went to this website and it said I ovulated on this day.." and those crazy women jumped on me, saying "HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OVULATED THEN?!" and "THOSE CALENDARS ARE CRAP!".

hmonkey · April 2010

oh, loveshine. you would take medical advice from any hobo on the street.

**O-Face** · April 2010

Also-you can choose not to read a siggy.

I don't get whining in general. And especially IF whining, but that's because I can't sympathize. God forbid I ever have to go through that, because I can't even imagine the difficulties. I think some are way braver than I could ever be.

Whining about anything in crazy amounts is what kills me. So talking about valid worries, problems, issues and appointments is definitely not a crazy "I hate allxxxyyy people" thing. Though "valid" is definitely not objective.

LnR70707 · April 2010

Well, LS, those calendars are crap. Any good doctor would tell you the same thing. You just happened to get lucky enough that it was somewhat accurate for you.

The 10 line siggies are over the top. But knowing whether someone is dealing with PCOS, Endo, MFI, no tubes, MTHFR, etc is helpful when answering a question. Exact sperm is not needed though, I agree.

**O-Face** · April 2010

Yes. On some boards a very indepth siggy is like a well informed handshake.

loveshine1 · April 2010

I was lucky that it worked for me. I am also lucky enough to have a super regular 30 day cycle, which doesn't seem to be the case with a lot of the ladies on the TTGP boards.

nicoleg1982 · April 2010

I don't see how the IF siggies are any different than badges, photos or other annoying lines of text. ::shrug::

hmonkey · April 2010

should i feel like some kind of freak because i don't discuss how long dh and i discussed kids, how lond we ttc, and what else is going on in my junk drawer? i feel like it's par for the course -- i don't talk about personal stuff a lot, so why should my shameful, shameful junk drawer be any different?

and i am far more offended by descriptions and pictures of anything -- ugly, dirty children, horrible pets, chin beards (that one's for you, jessjo) -- than i am by a long line of coded message to others "in the know."

Cant_wait! · April 2010

I just figured Kuus was going for a twofertuesday unfriending. I've always known she was a heartless robot so I wasn't surprised by her comments.

6fsn · April 2010

The whole thing was dumb.

Yes I thought the fb things were kind of annoying, but so are a lot I see.

Cross posting to an IF board was downright mean.

Siggies can be hidden or ignored who cares. I never even noticed L&R's was IF related until just now.

ReturnOfKuus · April 2010

My main beef with Anasara's status updates were the poor logic involved in them. Which then inspired my annoyance over the awareness week because, really, who in the hell gets a whole awareness week over simply not getting something they want? Next thing you know, this guy and others like him will have an awareness week:

http://thestory.org/archive/the_story_1023_Jeremy_Berggren.mp3/view

LnR70707 · April 2010

but Kuus, what disease isn't about getting something you want? Would it be better if every infertility related disease got their own week? I certainly don't think so.

zsazsa-stl · April 2010

I agree completely on the logic thing.

So why the TIP post?

ReturnOfKuus · April 2010

I think there's a big difference between something fatal and something that would just prevent you from having something you want. And I'm not sure how more awareness weeks sounded as though they were called for from what I said.

LnR70707 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_kuus-hating-infertiles?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:f20ee6bf-9459-4c0e-adb6-b3ddd79c31b1Post:add126d7-0346-4ac3-bbf9-2db130dd783e">Re: s/o Kuus hating infertiles</a>:
[QUOTE]I think there's a big difference between something fatal and something that would just prevent you from having something you want. And I'm not sure how more awareness weeks sounded as though they were called for from what I said.
Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]

I don't think they are called for nor did you imply that, I just assumed you would throw the Infertility isn't a disease card out there. Sorry.

I agree that fatal diseases are much worse and I put my own emotions in check regularly by reminding myself of that. It doesn't mean that it doesn't cause a lot of suffering and sometimes physical pain.

s/o Kuus hating infertiles

Re: s/o Kuus hating infertiles

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