What changes?

Re: What changes?

• desertsun member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_changes-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:13d1fc2c-935a-4658-8ca2-28a2e9566e81Post:a9864db4-2f16-43b2-a71a-9619edf2c83d">Re: What changes?</a>:
  [QUOTE]I'm not even engaged yet or anything, so I have no experience with how it changes.  For that matter, I don't know for sure that this boyfriend is the one I'll settle down with because we haven't done it yet, but I sure hope so. One thing that will be different after I get married is that there will be sex involved.  We've made the decision to wait until after we're married for that (for symbolic reasons), but other than financial stuff, that's all I can think of. Vowing to be faithful in front of our friends and family is a big deal to us, and we probably wouldn't officially live together until after we ot married, so I guess that would be different too.  (like I said though, most of this is hypothetical.) <strong>I don't know, I really hope it doesn't change much.  At least not in big ways.</strong>
  Posted by caitlin.cave[/QUOTE]
  
  I'm not really sure if you're talking about what I said or not, but just for the sake of clarity, the changes I'm talking about are very subtle. No big changes. And as PPs mentioned, I don't think anyone should expect that marriage itself will cause your relationship to be strong if it was weak or unhealthy before. I think we had a very strong, happy, healthy relationship BEFORE marriage, and being married just brings us closer.

  
  
  
  

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• jeanacorina

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  Caitlin, if you don't live together, have sex, or share finances before you're married then I think it's safe to say you WILL see some big changes in your relationship. Those things are all big deals- they can bring a couple closer together and cause stress all at once.
  
  I am not against waiting until marriage for those things. I think every relationship is unique and what is right for one may not be right for another. But moving in together, having sex, and sharing money are all pretty huge. They usually cause significant changes in a relationship- in my experience, anyway. Especially all at once.
  
  I've heard people cite wanting there to be a difference between dating and marriage as reason to wait on one or more of those things.
  
  I'm not sure what bigger changes there could be.
  

  

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• caitlin.cave member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  I mean officially living with my significant other, like buying a house together.  I'll probably have to cover most wedding costs with whomever I decide to marry, so I think it's safe to say there will be discussions about finances beforehand.  The things that I don't want to change are the good things that are already there.

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