Wedding Woes

Am I Wrong?

So my brother is getting married and I actually use to be best friends with the bride before they started dating (she attached herself to my brother so we had no time to hangout). Of course she asked me to be a bridesmaid and at the time she was talking about get sun dress for bridesmaid dress since it was going to be a beach wedding.  I thought a sundress I could afford so no problem. Well months pass and she puts off sending out save the date cards till to late (it is a destination wedding so most people need to book rooms ) and she put off sending out invitations until the last minute (those only went out on time because my mom bought the invites and printed them for her), She has done all DIY for this wedding cutting back cost (which i have no problem with) and a month before the wedding she finally gets us in to try on dresses and she has changed her mind and wants us to get dress from David's bridal (the one thing she doesn't have to spend any money on and she doesn't cut anything back). My mom decided to cover the dress for me since I couldn't and we went that day and they only had 3 to chose from that could actually get in on time and they were all 155 dollar and she also wanted us to purchase a 20 dollar sash. My mom did make a comment in the store that is was a lot to pay for dress last minute and when the boys were wearing 15 dollar white button up shirts and khaki pants. The other girls made a few comments about price while we waited in line, my mom paid for the dress and we left. That night my brother calls my mom and says she showed out at the dress shop because she said something about the price, my mom said the other bridesmaid were not expecting to pay that much either and apparently they had thrown us under the bus as the only ones who said anything about price. Well my mom canceled the dress order and I am no longer a bridesmaid. I kind felt she over reacted. My mom had paid for the dress even though she didn't like them (by the way the color is lime green and I don't tan because I don't want to get skin cancer or pay for a fake spray on tan, so just imagine and petite pale girl in a lime green sparkle dress on the beach) and if she really wanted to get these bridesmaid dress why did she wait till the very last day we could order them before she took us into the shop (I had sent multiple messages, called her and emailed her to try and set up a date to go and look for dresses). So maybe I was a little hurt by the whole thing, you change price point, pick a color that no one in the bridal party will look good in, and wait till the very last moment to pick out dresses and then get mad when someone has the nerve to say something. Oh and after all this her sister wrote a dirty message to my mom on facebook (how classy) saying she was on her s**t list and I was a b***h a** daughter (oh and she is the maid of honor so she is wearing a completely different color and dress). Sorry to rant but this has just ruined the last threads of friendship between me and my brother's finance and I was just wondering if I am over reacting. Oh and I am still going to the wedding, I am just going to be a guest.

Re: Am I Wrong?

  • MrsMyrtleMrsMyrtle member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yes. You are.

    Learn how to use paragraphs, too.
    image
  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Your mom is way too involved in someone else's wedding and someone else's dress.
    image
  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    wants us to get dress from David's bridal (the one thing she doesn't have to spend any money on and she doesn't cut anything back).

    I had to stop here, because I was laughing so hard.
  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Why did you agree to be a bridesmaid for someone you don't really like?
  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_am-wrong-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:1a1e2f82-1f55-4d9f-addc-275c9a0b9c9fPost:abcdebdd-b2d7-4c6f-ae18-2c6f52f9f087">Am I Wrong?</a>:
    [QUOTE]So my brother is getting married and I actually use to be best friends with the bride before they started dating (she attached herself to my brother so we had no time to hangout). Of course she asked me to be a bridesmaid and at the time she was talking about get sun dress for bridesmaid dress since it was going to be a beach wedding.  I thought a sundress I could afford so no problem. Well months pass and she puts off sending out save the date cards till to late (it is a destination wedding so most people need to book rooms ) and she put off sending out invitations until the last minute (those only went out on time because my mom bought the invites and printed them for her), She has done all DIY for this wedding cutting back cost (which i have no problem with) and a month before the wedding she finally gets us in to try on dresses and she has changed her mind and wants us to get dress from David's bridal (the one thing she doesn't have to spend any money on and she doesn't cut anything back). My mom decided to cover the dress for me since I couldn't and we went that day and they only had 3 to chose from that could actually get in on time and they were all 155 dollar and she also wanted us to purchase a 20 dollar sash. My mom did make a comment in the store that is was a lot to pay for dress last minute and when the boys were wearing 15 dollar white button up shirts and khaki pants. The other girls made a few comments about price while we waited in line, my mom paid for the dress and we left. That night my brother calls my mom and says she showed out at the dress shop because she said something about the price, my mom said the other bridesmaid were not expecting to pay that much either and apparently they had thrown us under the bus as the only ones who said anything about price. Well my mom canceled the dress order and I am no longer a bridesmaid. I kind felt she over reacted. My mom had paid for the dress even though she didn't like them (by the way the color is lime green and I don't tan because I don't want to get skin cancer or pay for a fake spray on tan, so just imagine and petite pale girl in a lime green sparkle dress on the beach) and if she really wanted to get these bridesmaid dress why did she wait till the very last day we could order them before she took us into the shop (I had sent multiple messages, called her and emailed her to try and set up a date to go and look for dresses). So maybe I was a little hurt by the whole thing, you change price point, pick a color that no one in the bridal party will look good in, and wait till the very last moment to pick out dresses and then get mad when someone has the nerve to say something. Oh and after all this her sister wrote a dirty message to my mom on facebook (how classy) saying she was on her s**t list and I was a b***h a** daughter (oh and she is the maid of honor so she is wearing a completely different color and dress). Sorry to rant but this has just ruined the last threads of friendship between me and my brother's finance and I was just wondering if I am over reacting. Oh and I am still going to the wedding, I am just going to be a guest.
    Posted by krscool2001[/QUOTE]

    <div>TL;DR.</div>
    image
  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    When you turn 18 I would suggest moving out of your Mom's house.
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I tried to read it to summarize, and all I got out of it was a patented XKCD hyphen-move: "a bitch ass-daughter". 

    Hee. 
    image
  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I adore the hyphen move.  I do it in my head all the time, and it never fails to make me laugh.
    image
  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    at least the dress could have doubled as your prom dress, saving lots of cash!
  • LnR70707LnR70707 member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Are you 12?  Why the hell is your mother making decisions for you?  You all sound trashy.
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  • edited December 2011
    Sorry I ranted a little was just a little upsetting. And I am very close to my brother that is why I was going to be in the wedding. I am also 28 and don't live with my mother. I am not all that close with her (she was buying the dress so I could be in my brother's wedding) but Stacie, my brother's fiance, asked my mom to help with the wedding so she tried. I just felt she was wrong when she called me and my mom liars based on her friends statement and got mad at me for making the remark that it was a lot to pay for dress when I was told in the beginning it would be a sundress. I am planning my own wedding and I know the girls I am going to pick don't have that much extra to spend on dress and have taken that in to account. I told them it would not be more than 50 and I plan to stick to it. I know some bridesmaid dresses are more but I should have been told up front so I could have either saved up or back out at that time.
  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    If you couldn't afford it, then you should have told Stacie that as much as you'd love to be in her wedding, you can't afford that dress, and asked her if maybe you could work something out, like wearing a cheaper dress in a similar or coordinating color or something.
    image
  • blush64blush64 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with ReturnofKuus, you should have let her know at that price you won't be able to be a part of the wedding. Then she could have picked a different dress.

    As it is, let it go. Go as a guest and enjoy the wedding. Hopefully she will let it go too.
  • edited December 2011
    Like I said my mom was going to pay for it so I could be in the wedding. When we got there and were told the price were told that we had to put full price down for the dress because they had to be ordered that day or they would not get here on time. I did go home that day to try and find a dress in the same color with the same look that would not be to much but I couldn't find something with the David's bridal lime green color and when I talked to her she just told me that was the color she pick so I said I am sorry girl but I can't afford the dress on my own and my mom won't pay for it after her accused her of lying. Oh and at the bridal shop when we said it was a lot to pay for a dress my mom was told by Stacie and her mom that it was a normal to pay and that was that. I know I can't give eveyone the whole background on this it would fill up to much space but let me just say my mom loved Stacie when this all started and was so excited because on the day she got engaged she asked for my mom's help and my mom was more the happy to lend her time and money (her mother told her that she couldn't spend as much on her wedding as her sisters because of the economy).
  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, yeah, I get it.  It's my mom said this and my mom said that, when it's your dress and Stacie's wedding.  It's between the two of you, not your mom or Stacie's mom.  Tell the helicopter mothers to butt the hell out.
    image
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