How do I word our new names?

polichik · July 2010

I'm making our menu and want to put "Menu for the Wedding Dinner of Mr. & Mrs." I'm not sure in what order to put our names with the Mr. and Mrs. thing. Socially, we're going by two last names, mine and then his, so when we were previously:

Betty Crocker
John Wayne

We're going to be Betty Crocker Wayne and John Crocker Wayne. How do I do the "Mr. & Mrs." thing? Is it "Mr. & Mrs. Betty and John Crocker Wayne," or "Mr. & Mrs. John and Betty Crocker Wayne," or something else? Maybe "Mrs. Betty and Mr. John Crocker Wayne"? Gah. I don't know why I can't figure this out :P

parker624 · July 2010

I think Mr. and Mrs. John and Betty Crocker Wayne?

laurenclaire1386 · July 2010

I don't know, but now I want cupcakes, Miss Crocker.

polichik · July 2010

I'll see what I can do, LC

tenofcups4me · July 2010

Either Mr. and Mrs. John and Betty Crocker Wayne OR my preference would be to leave out the Mr. and Mrs. and just go with:

Betty and John Crocker Wayne

One, I think it looks better and is less cumbersome. Two, it makes it more clear that HIS name is also Crocker Wayne, not just yours.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

"Mrs. Betty and Mr. John Crocker Wayne"?

Yes.

damaless · July 2010

Ahhhh!! Last names like that is not a sustainable solution! What if your kid meets someone else who also has two last names and they want to get married, then it's Brenda Crocker Wayne Jackson Paul? And then THEIR kids are Barbara Crocker Wayne Jackson Paul Michaels Andrews Johnson Samuels?

georgia_bride09 · July 2010

I like Betty and John Crocker Wayne.

dama, why do you care?

georgia_bride09 · July 2010

A) it's not like poli's going to change her mind, and

how do you know she even wants kids?

polichik · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_word-new-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8e029670-d817-4858-ba21-9933bb193893Post:89a4367b-06a6-42f0-8b3f-988dbdc297df">Re: How do I word our new names?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ahhhh!! Last names like that is not a sustainable solution! What if your kid meets someone else who also has two last names and they want to get married, then it's Brenda Crocker Wayne Jackson Paul? And then THEIR kids are Barbara Crocker Wayne Jackson Paul Michaels Andrews Johnson Samuels?
Posted by damaless[/QUOTE]

Actually, there was a study done on this, and every time it happens, the world explodes.

damaless · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_word-new-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8e029670-d817-4858-ba21-9933bb193893Post:c25845da-c766-48ca-810d-e1f8bfc67e02">Re: How do I word our new names?</a>:
[QUOTE]I like Betty and John Crocker Wayne. dama, why do you care?
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

I am just joking around... obviously even if I did have serious opinions about how people should choose their last names, I would be pretty crazy to think people should have to listen to me.

pirategal03 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_word-new-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8e029670-d817-4858-ba21-9933bb193893Post:8098ee5f-c273-4fc0-b618-8ca25ebe0cfd">How do I word our new names?</a>:
[QUOTE] "Mrs. Betty and Mr. John Crocker Wayne"?
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]

This one

damaless · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_word-new-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8e029670-d817-4858-ba21-9933bb193893Post:ef002cba-1cb0-49ea-9050-16343d6a5e20">Re: How do I word our new names?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do I word our new names? : Actually, there was a study done on this, and every time it happens, the world explodes.
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]

Maybe we can come up with formula that involves the nth iteration couple cutting down on the number of names until it's back to one, and then it expands again. (Where n is some number chosen based on how many iterations it takes before the names get completely impossible to use)

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_word-new-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8e029670-d817-4858-ba21-9933bb193893Post:89a4367b-06a6-42f0-8b3f-988dbdc297df">Re: How do I word our new names?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ahhhh!! Last names like that is not a sustainable solution! What if your kid meets someone else who also has two last names and they want to get married, then it's Brenda Crocker Wayne Jackson Paul? And then THEIR kids are Barbara Crocker Wayne Jackson Paul Michaels Andrews Johnson Samuels?
Posted by damaless[/QUOTE]

Yeah, cause that would happen.

I have never known someone who has a double-barrel last name or a hyphenated name who was dumb enough to think they should give their kid 4 or 5 last names.

That includes pretty much everyone who lives in Latin America. Tell them their whole culture is wrong, why don't you?

polichik · July 2010

Thanks for the suggestions, ladies!

_Dagney_ · July 2010

I would probably do Mr. and Mrs. John Crocker Wayne.

JessAndTrav · July 2010

I would say Mr. and Mrs. John Crocker Wayne.

damaless · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_word-new-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8e029670-d817-4858-ba21-9933bb193893Post:aaca8aae-e732-4bd8-9d04-d3a349fd9ca3">Re: How do I word our new names?</a>:
[QUOTE]Tell them their whole culture is wrong, why don't you?
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry, but this is a massive overreaction to a statement meant to be taken extremely lightly.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_word-new-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8e029670-d817-4858-ba21-9933bb193893Post:5c717b9c-b9f4-4bff-9aa0-fb74959d300f">Re: How do I word our new names?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do I word our new names? : I'm sorry, but this is a massive overreaction to a statement meant to be taken extremely lightly.
Posted by damaless[/QUOTE]

Mine was half-joking too. It was more of a massive eyeroll to something that wasn't funny.

scoetto · July 2010

My sister's friends did this. Only they both changed their names legally. Are you doing that too? It's kind of neat.

Anyway, I agree with PPs. Mr & Mrs John Crocker Wayne. Should get the point across.

nda_roxybabe · July 2010

I'm super traditional so I like "Mr. and Mrs. John Crocker Wayne"

polichik · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_word-new-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8e029670-d817-4858-ba21-9933bb193893Post:df9d42b2-d9f2-467f-9fe3-5349b530b286">Re: How do I word our new names?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would probably do Mr. and Mrs. John Crocker Wayne.
Posted by _Dagney_[/QUOTE]

I really appreciate the suggestion, ladies, but part of the reason we're doing our last names as we are is because we don't believe in a woman giving up her name upon marriage (no disrespect to those who choose to change their last names or go by "mr. and mrs. john smith"... different strokes for different folks, right?). We want both of our names to stay intact.

It just makes me really uncomfortable (for us, not for other people), so hence the unconventional naming stuff. But I appreciate the idea!

Birdie1483 · July 2010

The feminist in me wants to say that you should include your first name somewhere in there. I don't know... I've struggled with this in my head for how I want to be annouced at my wedding. For some reason, I feel like if I'm introduced as Mrs. John Birdie I lose my identity and he owns me or something. Probably weird, I know.

So I'm leaning towards Mrs. Betty and Mr. John Crocker Wayne as my own opinon.

nda_roxybabe · July 2010

Oops, yea I meant "Mr. and Mrs. John & Betty Crocker Wayne"

shellydiane820 · July 2010

Can I ask, are you both going to have two names?

Like Betty Crocker Wayne

and then John Wayne Crocker?

polichik · July 2010

Yes ma'am! What we're doing is I'm adding FI's last name as my second last name, and he's adding my last name as his second middle name. Socially, we'll go by the Crocker Waynes, but his legal last name will still be Wayne for work and such.

So, First: Betty, Middle: Sue, Last: Crocker Wayne
His First: John, MIddle: Barty Crocker, Last: Wayne

Hence, Betty Sue Crocker Wayne and John Barty Crocker Wayne.

jasmineh7777 · July 2010

Do you need the first names at all, since neither of you are giving up a name?
Could you do Mr. and Mrs. Crocker Wayne on the menu cards?

I really dig the two name thing. I kept my name, but I'd actually never thought of this as an option.

tenofcups4me · July 2010

Poli, I've seen you discuss this before and I was always curious: Why is he adding Crocker as part of his middle name and not part of the last name?

pumpkinpumpkin · July 2010

I don't dig it, but to each their own.

nebbiolo · July 2010

A man changing his name after marriage - never heard of this! Good for him and his trailblazing!

Knittibell · July 2010

Technically it's

Mr. and Mrs. John Wayne

"Mrs."- literally means "the wife of"

so even if you're still Betty Crocker, you're also technically Mrs. John Wayne.

I think what you're doing is super cool, BTW.

Also you could be Mr. and Mrs. Crocker Wayne

No hyphen, and you're all set.

How do I word our new names?

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