in laws are ruining everything!

noisy_penguin · February 2010

Cali gets it. GOOSH. LISTEN TO CALI.

buddhagouda · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_laws-ruining-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:dd0e36a5-5436-4d40-89a2-1d9a6522af48Post:f23758b0-bb81-4418-b883-580e631d2fda">Re: in laws are ruining everything!</a>:
[QUOTE]to top it all off guys, his parents just sent him and i a letter to also give to my parents. Saying that they shuold be the ones to pay for it,etc,etc, and that my parents need to grow up and be adults (???!!!) and that we're going into debt with this wedding which isnt a way to start out the marriage. for one, we're not going into debt. Our wedding cost less than $4000.00, my parents paid half and all thats left is a 1,000.00 My parents are going to freak if I show them this! Dont his parents see that we were doing just fine w/o them and their the ones thats causing all the stress and making him believe we dont have to pay anything?
Posted by gooshbaby[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, his parents are freaks, but you have to realize HE IS LETTING THEM DO THIS TO YOU. He is the one you have a problem with, not his parents. Seriously, there is absolutely no hope for this relationship if you cannot see that. </div>

Liz4444 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_laws-ruining-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:dd0e36a5-5436-4d40-89a2-1d9a6522af48Post:f23758b0-bb81-4418-b883-580e631d2fda">Re: in laws are ruining everything!</a>:
[QUOTE]to top it all off guys, his parents just sent him and i a letter to also give to my parents. Saying that they shuold be the ones to pay for it,etc,etc, and that my parents need to grow up and be adults (???!!!) and that we're going into debt with this wedding which isnt a way to start out the marriage. for one, we're not going into debt. Our wedding cost less than $4000.00, my parents paid half and all thats left is a 1,000.00 My parents are going to freak if I show them this! Dont his parents see that we were doing just fine w/o them and their the ones thats causing all the stress and making him believe we dont have to pay anything?
Posted by gooshbaby[/QUOTE]

his parents are so ridiculously over the line of inappropriate, if he is not going to stand up to them, you need to leave! no one is entitled to be telling you or your parents how to spend your/their money!

[Deleted User] · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_laws-ruining-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:dd0e36a5-5436-4d40-89a2-1d9a6522af48Post:f23758b0-bb81-4418-b883-580e631d2fda">Re: in laws are ruining everything!</a>:
[QUOTE]to top it all off guys, his parents just sent him and i a letter to also give to my parents. Saying that they shuold be the ones to pay for it,etc,etc, and that my parents need to grow up and be adults (???!!!) and that we're going into debt with this wedding which isnt a way to start out the marriage. for one, we're not going into debt. Our wedding cost less than $4000.00, my parents paid half and all thats left is a 1,000.00 My parents are going to freak if I show them this! Dont his parents see that we were doing just fine w/o them and their the ones thats causing all the stress and making him believe we dont have to pay anything?
Posted by gooshbaby[/QUOTE]

OK, I'm at the point now to where I'm thinking this must be a joke. No one could be this clueless about people who are so horrible, right? Goosh, either you're blind as a bat, completely and entirely stupid, or making it all up. I hope it's joke, as I hate to think of someone staying in such a crappy relationship with a crappy guy who clearly doesn't give a damn about the woman he's planning to marry.

if this isn't a joke, then don't go through with the marriage. Dump his sorry butt, and I guarantee that within a week he'll have someone else on his arm (hell, the way he treats you now, he probably already has a chick on the side).

wingedbride · February 2010

I am in favor of this couple marrying because this would be an AWESOME episode of Jerry Springer and/or Divorce Court.

SarahPLiz · February 2010

Re-read Cali's response until it sinks in. The problem is not the ILs, its with your FI. He doesn't respect you, your money, or your sendse of privacy. I am willing to be that he can't hold a job and his mom also tells you how to wash his drawers, because I also think he is incapable of taking care of himself.

Get out now. As we stated previously, a divorce would be way more expensive than leaving now and losing deposits. I'm sure your parents would support you in that decision. Please, for the love of all things sacred, do not have a child with this man.

jesi_nickles · February 2010

OP- would you rather live with this (ie the FILs) or would you rather go off on your own, find someone who loves you (and stands up for you)?

If you chose the first option, there is nothing that anybody on these boards is going to say to make you change your mind. If on the other hand, you chose the second option, then I will repeat what everybody else is saying.

RUN!!!!!!!

Not only is he NOT worth your time, but he will make some spoiled brat princess a perfect husband. And from what I gather from your posts, you are not a spoiled brat princess that has to have everything her way.

So please, please, please, get out of that relationship. Even if it means leaving one day and changing your phone number.

buddhagouda · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_laws-ruining-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:dd0e36a5-5436-4d40-89a2-1d9a6522af48Post:314ba6d7-f8f3-4e94-9c96-06e1305bc22b">Re: in laws are ruining everything!</a>:
[QUOTE]I cannot ever read all that... your FI needs to man up.
Posted by krmabojo[/QUOTE]

<div>Do you hear that? The budget spring DIY modern bride has spoken. </div>

hughe046 · February 2010

He sucks as bad as they do. I think you feel safe/stuck, and that's the only reason you have put up with this titty baby so long. Speaking of babies...how much is it going to suck to produce her grandkids? Buckle up babe, you are in for a lifetime of stressed/drunken Knot/Bump/Nest posts if you do this.

Pull the effing plug already before we see you on an episode of Snapped. But if you make to Snapped, you should give us a shout out.

gooshbaby · February 2010

thanx guys for all your help. i guess i just didnt want to really believe what was going on. and i know it'd just get worse in the future like you say. i know if we had kids she'd tell us how to raise them, and i know he'd stick up for her.
and to the pesron that thought this was a joke, it is no joke. it is just how immature his mom is for actually sending a letter to us like that.
thanx everyone for making me not so *blind* anymore.

noisy_penguin · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_laws-ruining-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:dd0e36a5-5436-4d40-89a2-1d9a6522af48Post:37c155e1-fd7e-4b47-9b92-dc1c463a01a2">Re: in laws are ruining everything!</a>:
[QUOTE]thanx guys for all your help. i guess i just didnt want to really believe what was going on. and i know it'd just get worse in the future like you say. i know if we had kids she'd tell us how to raise them, and i know he'd stick up for her. and to the pesron that thought this was a joke, it is no joke. it<strong> is just how immature his mom is for actually sending a letter to us like that</strong>. thanx everyone for making me not so *blind* anymore.
Posted by gooshbaby[/QUOTE]

<div>And how ridiculous your fiance is for standing behind the atrocious behaviour of his parents. </div>

buddhagouda · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_laws-ruining-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:dd0e36a5-5436-4d40-89a2-1d9a6522af48Post:2601d5c5-da68-4126-a16c-5d57c90ff43f">Re: in laws are ruining everything!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: in laws are ruining everything! : And how ridiculous your fiance is for standing behind the atrocious behaviour of his parents.
Posted by noisy_penguin[/QUOTE]

<div>I still don't get the sense that she actually gets that. </div>

noisy_penguin · February 2010

No, I don't either. Maybe the 50th time is the charm.

buddhagouda · February 2010

I'm guessing what she took away from this thread is that if she hires a hitman to take out the ILs, her relationship will rival mine with Christian Bale for perfection.

gower2be · February 2010

it's simple. you just have to kill them.

lu27 · February 2010

Run now and never look back. Once a momma's boy...always a momma's boy

Beth0882 · March 2010

You've probably heard this ll by now, but I have seen people who get so involved in a relationship they don't want to admit it should end and I can see how admitting that would be hard for you.

The biggest thing for you to realize ist hat you need to stick up for yourself. Taking FI and FILs out of the equation (as everything that needed to be said about them has been said) you need to maybe have some counseling on your own or something that will make you realize or learn how to stand up for yourself. It sounds like you are letting these people walk all over you and all you are doing about it is passively venting on this board. Venting is good, but you also need to be active about sticking up for yourself. Tell FI that you have problems with how this is all going and that you insist his parents be completely left out of it. Tell him that while you respect his wishes about how the wedding should go, and will try to incorporate things he wants, that since you ae paying forit, you don't feel the need to be so tight about the money. Show him you have a plan for paying for it. That is all reasonable. But sitting back and and letting this all happen around you is not healthy.

in laws are ruining everything!

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