AYG

AllAboutTheBenjamin · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:6ec5891e-8d65-400f-8377-44c2d1905b59">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE] Also, it's not a grievance, but I like that AATB was not afraid to step in and speak up against the majority on E in that dollar dance/garter auction thread. While I, personally, find them distasteful as they are not common in my area, that doesn't mean they aren't the norm somewhere else.
Posted by Bubbalub[/QUOTE]

Oh, thanks! I have to admit I was actually scared to do that but since that OP is from my neck of the woods I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Plus I was really, really relieved with Fishy swooped in and said the same thing, lol.

Bubbalub · December 2010

If you and fische hadn't said anything I would have agreed to both being extra lame because one I've never heard of and the other just isn't done in my social circle. But it's refreshing seeing the other side of it, sometimes, yanno? And nice to see someone with the balls to say it on the forums.

reddy123 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:71a8aefc-acab-448f-9979-17f994c0e8c7">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : It's AYG, it's FOR nit-picking. And the pedophile vs child molester thing is something that I have a personal bias about (and more knowledge on than the average person, IMO), based on the populations I've worked with so it really gets me going. Not every pedophile molests kids. Plus it's a mental health diagnosis--it's a personal pet peeve of mine to have them thrown around all willy nilly. (Example: She was mad at me, and then she wasn't! She's so bipolar!) There's no gray area. It's a mental health diagnosis vs a criminal offense. Sure, some pedophiles molest kids. Sure, some child molesters are pedophiles. But one does not equal the other. Never did I say you don't need to watch out for anyone.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I legitimately didn't know it was a health diagnosis, so I'm actually glad I said something because it got me thinking about it.</div><div>
</div><div>But I will argue with you on the gray area. You don't have to molest a kid to do something against the law or against a child so it's the word 'molester' being the only other option that bothers me. Example, there are a ton of shitty photographers that come out on a sunny day at our park fountains, where do they fit and what would you call them? (I'm actually curious). </div><div>
</div><div>It just seems like any time someone uses the word pedophile you jump in and say, "well actually, they haven't acted on it and molesters have, so..."</div><div>I understand that it is a pet peeve of yours and you are trying to give the correct definition of the word, it's just without that explanation it seems like you are telling the person to disregard the word pedophile completely when talking about 'actual' risks. Am I wrong?</div><div>
</div><div>And I also wanted to say I totally understand hearing diagnosis flung around is like nails on a chalkboard. I have real OCD and so you can imagine how much I hear people say they have it on a daily basis. I admit not knowing a lot about it and I am very curious as to what other PC terms you could use for a pedophile who isn't a diagnosed pedophile who hasn't molested.

</div>

msteph82 · December 2010

No matter how I put this, it will come out as "why don't you LIKE me?" but I'm airing this grievance.

I want to know what I have done that pisses Blue off so much. I get you can not like someone, but IMO I guess I got under her skin somehow. You don't have to like everyone. I just skim over posts of knotties I don't really care for.

Oh, and I do tend to be too nice, which comes off as "like me, like me, PLEASE, I must have no friends or self confidence outside TK" I have this fear of being known as a b*tch, so I err on the side of nice. It annoys me too at times and I work on being more tactful without being a raging meanie.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:ef2f6ec4-c09a-4ffc-99fd-93f48f94f74c">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]If you and fische hadn't said anything I would have agreed to both being extra lame because one I've never heard of and the other just isn't done in my social circle. But it's refreshing seeing the other side of it, sometimes, yanno? And nice to see someone with the balls to say it on the forums.
Posted by Bubbalub[/QUOTE]

Yep - I get it.

There's a ton of stuff that people do in other areas of the country that people here don't do. Like for instance, I've never been to a wedding with escort cards/seating charts. Of course, neither of those things are considered tacky, either :) But if I tried to tell everyone where to sit at my wedding reception I think people would have ignored it. Kinda the same thing - people don't care up here if you don't want a dollar dance or garter auction - they ignore you and proceed with it anyway.

maratea · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:8d54aaf9-9696-465e-a011-f5145aa566f8">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]No matter how I put this, it will come out as "why don't you LIKE me?" but I'm airing this grievance. I want to know what I have done that pisses Blue off so much. I get you can not like someone, but IMO I guess I got under her skin somehow. You don't have to like everyone. I just skim over posts of knotties I don't really care for. Oh, and I do tend to be too nice, which comes off as "like me, like me, PLEASE, I must have no friends or self confidence outside TK" I have this fear of being known as a b*tch, so I err on the side of nice. It annoys me too at times and I work on being more tactful without being a raging meanie.
Posted by msteph82[/QUOTE]

I think Blue is very opinionated, but outside of that I don't know much because I wasn't around the night the whole SB/May '11 thing happened.

Also, I do like you. You seem to be fairly sane and pleasant. I just felt like a few of your posts were trying too hard, but that probably happens to plenty of newbs (to this board anyway) around here.

sarabear23 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:18520282-7402-4fa1-af8a-069796bf6ade">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]Wait. I call Ben stinkbutt on here all the time, but you guys don't like YIO calling her child "kid"?
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

To me, its different. You have been around longer, and we all know that you have a child, and his name is Ben. YIO is newer, and the phrase "my kid" just seems, i dunno, resentful I guess. I'm in no way saying that YIO is resentful of her child at all, especially since she stated why she says it that way. That's just how those words come across to me when I hear them. Now that I know her reasoning behind it, and that it is a habit for her to say it, it isnt really going to bug me anymore.

marriedfilingjointly · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:ce7b27d8-06ad-4663-aacf-a191f01e36ee">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE] I have real OCD and so you can imagine how much I hear people say they have it on a daily basis. I admit not knowing a lot about it and I am very curious as to what other PC terms you could use for a pedophile who isn't a diagnosed pedophile who hasn't molested. "Abuser", maybe?
Posted by reddy123[/QUOTE]

Ugh yes. I think J&K already mentioned bipolar disorder, but my sister has it and it really pisses me off when someone flippantly says "ugh, he/she's so bipolar." Oh, really? Who is their doctor? Are they being treated for it? They <em>are</em>? Then why are you making light of their very serious health situation? Oh, they are NOT medically diagnosed with bipolar disorder, that's just your expert opinion? It's not a personality flaw, it's fucking mental illness and it's debilitating to live with. Maybe show some fucking compassion. GAH.

::gives someone else the soap box::

reddy123 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:8d54aaf9-9696-465e-a011-f5145aa566f8">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]No matter how I put this, it will come out as "why don't you LIKE me?" but I'm airing this grievance. <strong> I want to know what I have done that pisses Blue off so much.</strong> I get you can not like someone, but IMO I guess I got under her skin somehow. You don't have to like everyone. I just skim over posts of knotties I don't really care for. Oh, and I do tend to be too nice, which comes off as "like me, like me, PLEASE, I must have no friends or self confidence outside TK" I have this fear of being known as a b*tch, so I err on the side of nice. It annoys me too at times and I work on being more tactful without being a raging meanie.
Posted by msteph82[/QUOTE]

<div>This made me lol. msteph- no matter how many times you apologize to us or flame your own month board it's not going to make any of us forget you moving/deleting posts and all that jazz that happened that night. </div>

J&K10910 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:ce7b27d8-06ad-4663-aacf-a191f01e36ee">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : I legitimately didn't know it was a health diagnosis, so I'm actually glad I said something because it got me thinking about it. But I will argue with you on the gray area. You don't have to molest a kid to do something against the law or against a child so it's the word 'molester' being the only other option that bothers me. Example, there are a ton of shitty photographers that come out on a sunny day at our park fountains, where do they fit and what would you call them? (I'm actually curious). <strong>Well clearly I can't diagnose over the internet (nor am I qualified to diagnose at all). It is quite possible that I would call them pedophiles. At BEST I would call them inappropriate for sure. In fact, depending on your state's statutes, they may very well be committing a criminal offense of some sort or another. But I wouldn't call them child molesters. </strong> It just seems like any time someone uses the word pedophile you jump in and say, "well actually, they haven't acted on it and molesters have, so..." <strong>I try very hard to always say "pedophiles have not necessarily acted on it..." because obviously some of them have. I would hope that I've never actually said that a pedophile has surely not acted on his or her attractions, because I have no way of knowing that. What I attempt to convey is just because someone is attracted to children does not automatically mean they have molested children/looked at or disseminated child porn/taken pictures of kids in bathing suits/etc. If I have actually said that, I apologize and you are correct in that sense. </strong>I understand that it is a pet peeve of yours and you are trying to give the correct definition of the word, it's just without that explanation it seems like you are telling the person to disregard the word pedophile completely when talking about 'actual' risks. Am I wrong? <strong>That's not my intent. I can see how it would be interpreted that way, though. Honestly, my true intent is to move people away from throwing the mental health diagnosis around and using it interchangeably for "child molester." The two terms are not interchangeable, and that's the point I try to make. Apparently though, I'm not coming across clearly, which is understandable. I do apologize if I've made anyone feel like I'm disregarding their feelings on the subject or trying to invalidate them. That is certainly not my intent, and I feel bad that I've made at least one person feel that way. I'm sorry. </strong>And I also wanted to say I totally understand hearing diagnosis flung around is like nails on a chalkboard. I have real OCD and so you can imagine how much I hear people say they have it on a daily basis. I admit not knowing a lot about it and I am very curious as to what other PC terms you could use for a pedophile who isn't a diagnosed pedophile who hasn't molested. "Abuser", maybe?<strong> Honestly, it all just depends on the situation. I would hesitate to call anyone an "abuser" as well if there was not actual physical/mental/sexual abuse of some sort (yes, I include all sorts of child pornography things, etc in my definition of abuse). I guess maybe if you could give a more concrete example (if this is different than the photography question above) I could make more sense of it, because I'm a little confused as to what you're asking.</strong>
Posted by reddy123[/QUOTE]

Thanks for discussing this with me. I came off sounding a little defensive in my first response to you and I didn't mean to, the subject just really ruffles my feathers. I do appreciate your openness to discussion.

maratea · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:32e45895-90a3-4855-98d2-b985dab754d2">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : Ugh yes. I think J&K already mentioned bipolar disorder, but my sister has it and it really pisses me off when someone flippantly says "ugh, he/she's so bipolar." Oh, really? Who is their doctor? Are they being treated for it? They are ? Then why are you making light of their very serious health situation? Oh, they are NOT medically diagnosed with bipolar disorder, that's just your expert opinion? It's not a personality flaw, it's fucking mental illness and it's debilitating to live with. Maybe show some fucking compassion. GAH. ::gives someone else the soap box::
Posted by marriedfilingjointly[/QUOTE]

*takes the soapbox* While I'm in the mood for bitching, I'll take this in a different direction. There are certain things people will say that just set me off. One being "oh my kids are gonna put me in a mental hospital." HATE. It seems like, to me, a person who has been in a mental institution or has known someone in a mental institution wouldn't joke about this because it's not a great place to be. I remember visiting my dad and brother and it was terrifying for me and not something I'd make light of. Also when someone says something like "Oh I'm so depressed" just as a way to say they are tired/sad/worn out/etc. Have you been diagnosed with depression? Do you know how horrible it is to have depressed thoughts going through your mind at 400 mph? Constant fear of judgment by others when you admit you have depression. UGH.

reddy123 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:32e45895-90a3-4855-98d2-b985dab754d2">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : Ugh yes. I think J&K already mentioned bipolar disorder, but my sister has it and it really pisses me off when someone flippantly says "ugh, he/she's so bipolar." Oh, really? Who is their doctor? Are they being treated for it? They are ? Then why are you making light of their very serious health situation? Oh, they are NOT medically diagnosed with bipolar disorder, that's just your expert opinion? It's not a personality flaw, it's fucking mental illness and it's debilitating to live with. Maybe show some fucking compassion. GAH.<strong> ::gives someone else the soap box::</strong>
Posted by marriedfilingjointly[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, it's as if life crippling disorders are all of a sudden catchy adjectives for whatever they need it for; "omg! I am so OCD about my towels it's not even funny!".... um, you can't choose to be OCD about one thing if I can't choose to be OCD about everything, sorry.</div>

J&K10910 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:32e45895-90a3-4855-98d2-b985dab754d2">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : Ugh yes. I think J&K already mentioned bipolar disorder, but my sister has it and it really pisses me off when someone flippantly says "ugh, he/she's so bipolar." Oh, really? Who is their doctor? Are they being treated for it? They are ? Then why are you making light of their very serious health situation? Oh, they are NOT medically diagnosed with bipolar disorder, that's just your expert opinion? It's not a personality flaw, it's fucking mental illness and it's debilitating to live with. Maybe show some fucking compassion. GAH. ::gives someone else the soap box::
Posted by marriedfilingjointly[/QUOTE]

I know this isn't funny in the slightest, but it made me giggle. Mostly because I think I can picture you saying all these thigns to someone. Or maybe I'm just picturing myself. I'm sorry your sister and family have to deal with such a crappy illness. It's super tough.

J&K10910 · December 2010

Also? I fully accept being nit-picky in general. I am. It's true. Especially on here, and especially lately. I think it's because I've felt it's rather slow lately so I like to discuss things that are interesting to me, and since I'm internet socially awkward, it's easier (and, if we're being honest, sometimes more fun) for me to say "Well I think that's silly!" and start a fight than it is for me to say "Hmmm, let's discuss this because it interests me."

pirategal03 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:32e45895-90a3-4855-98d2-b985dab754d2">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : Ugh yes. I think J&K already mentioned bipolar disorder, but my sister has it and it really pisses me off when someone flippantly says "ugh, he/she's so bipolar." Oh, really? Who is their doctor? Are they being treated for it? They are ? Then why are you making light of their very serious health situation? Oh, they are NOT medically diagnosed with bipolar disorder, that's just your expert opinion? It's not a personality flaw, it's fucking mental illness and it's debilitating to live with. Maybe show some fucking compassion. GAH. ::gives someone else the soap box::
Posted by marriedfilingjointly[/QUOTE]

I'll hold the soapbox for you. In fact, we can share the bipolar subject soapbox.

People can be moody and not have a mental illness. This one annoys me to no end.

mkrupar · December 2010

J&K - Serious question. You've got me thinking. Let me see if I make sense of this.

Pedophile does not always = child molester because they haven't necessarily acted on their urges. Correct?

Are all child molesters pedophiles? If they're not, what makes them become child molesters. I'm genuinely confused.

I feel like this is like "All medicines are drugs, but not all drugs are medicines," but don't think I'm grasping this correctly.

reddy123 · December 2010

Thank you for answering my questions, I have seriously been wondering all of this since the first time you corrected some one. And I have to admit, even as a survivor, the phrase, "not all molesters are pedophiles" kind of just blew my mind and made me think a while. It goes back to my belief that all are mirroring abuse they received, but with what you were saying, that doesn't mean they like doing it/ get off on it. (that's kind of what you were saying by not all molesters are pedophiles, right?)

And I'm getting to know your nit-pickiness now, but when I first started posting I was scared to death of being called out by you especially because sometimes it seems you have a pack of angry regs behind you.

TheCranberry · December 2010

Thanks for sharing your position on pedophile/child molester, JK. I never knew that pedophile was an actual mental diagnosis and have always used it interchangeably with child molester. You've given me something to think about.

I am curious though: wouldn't all child molesters be pedophiles? When would a child molester not be a pedophile? If the sexual molestation were about something other than pleasure for the abuser (eg: to punish the child in some way)?

marriedfilingjointly · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:581ed553-2ab8-4c66-b17b-5bbaa1fa1f99">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : I know this isn't funny in the slightest, but it made me giggle. Mostly because I think I can picture you saying all these thigns to someone. Or maybe I'm just picturing myself. I'm sorry your sister and family have to deal with such a crappy illness. It's super tough.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

Well, that's not laughing at me, that's laughing at the pathetic fool I just schooled. So laugh away. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

J&K10910 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:970407ee-4500-4e94-85c6-1b19341ce054">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]J&K - Serious question. You've got me thinking. Let me see if I make sense of this. Pedophile does not always = child molester because they haven't necessarily acted on their urges. Correct? <strong>So far so good. </strong>Are all child molesters pedophiles? <strong>No,not necessarily. </strong>If they're not, what makes them become child molesters. I'm genuinely confused. <strong>There are lots of reasons, and obviously it's all really hard to prove, but the thinking is that it can be a power and control thing, or just simply a "I couldn't find an adult to have sex with so I found a kid to have sex with" thing. At least, that's what the thinking was when I was working in the field. It's been a couple years now, so it could be different. </strong>I feel like this is like "All medicines are drugs, but not all drugs are medicines," but don't think I'm grasping this correctly.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

J&K10910 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:8d9f1161-3b60-42a2-b1ed-3c2e8b9c551e">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you for answering my questions, I have seriously been wondering all of this since the first time you corrected some one. And I have to admit, even as a survivor, the phrase, "not all molesters are pedophiles" kind of just blew my mind and made me think a while. It goes back to my belief that all are mirroring abuse they received, but with what you were saying, that doesn't mean they like doing it/ get off on it. (that's kind of what you were saying by not all molesters are pedophiles, right?) And I'm getting to know your nit-pickiness now, but when I first started posting I was scared to death of being called out by you <strong>especially because sometimes it seems you have a pack of angry regs behind you.</strong>
Posted by reddy123[/QUOTE]

Oh, them? No, that's just the Verizon network ;)

For the record, I'm definitely no expert or qualified to diagnose anyone. My thoughts and info is based on what I learned while I was in the field a few years ago. So if there is new research or research I haven't seen, then consider my mind just as blown :) (RE: all child molesters pedophiles/why some of them aren't stuff.)

[Deleted User] · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:fea123a6-882e-4568-840c-a17f8fdc7345">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG :
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

This is going to sound horrible to most people, but it doesn't matter to me what the correct term is. Whether someone is technically a pedophile or child molester, I don't want to be around them. Ever. I understand the need to make a distinction, but ultimately, they both disgust me. But, clearly I'm extremely biased so I'm the wrong person to talk about this topic.

BecW2be · December 2010

On the nit-picking train, I don't care what YIO calls her kid, but in the movie she's declaring as her reason for keeping gender/names private both a girl and a boy were molested. It was her son and dauther Ashley Judd found her boyfriend abusing. I'd just drop that part of your reasoning. Actually, I wouldn't reason at all. Call your kid whatever the hell you want to call her. I call my kids DookieFace more times than I'd care to admit.

marriedfilingjointly · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:d3b8442f-22a9-4aa2-aa3e-170f84d85221">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : Oh, them? No, that's just the Verizon network
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

I love you.

acireta · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:f6f492a6-dd5c-4952-9cbb-3cd4256e4b37">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : This is going to sound horrible to most people, but it doesn't matter to me what the correct term is. Whether someone is technically a pedophile or child molester, I don't want to be around them. Ever. I understand the need to make a distinction, but ultimately, they both disgust me. But, clearly I'm extremely biased so I'm the wrong person to talk about this topic.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't want my hypothetical future children around either one obviously. I worked in sexual violence education and prevention for quite awhile, and its impacted me greatly - which is why I got out of it. I don't care what they're called, stay away from me and my loved ones.

But I do understand being picky about the terminology. Everyone has pet-peeves (probably the wrong term). I get very picky with the interchanging of drag queen, transgendered and transsexual. They're not synonyms!!

J&K10910 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:e6b21cd2-ca0f-40d9-81f4-8cb70ac982d8">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : I love you.
Posted by marriedfilingjointly[/QUOTE]

The feeling is mutual.

I think you qualify as part of my network. At least today.

And? As an aside? Reddy, I'm glad you're not "scared" of me anymore. I love that you called me out on that and I really do feel bad that I was saying in such a way that it was being so misinterpreted.

LessThanZero · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:890d9e06-2148-441b-822c-4f19a56854d0">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : *takes the soapbox* While I'm in the mood for bitching, I'll take this in a different direction. There are certain things people will say that just set me off. One being "oh my kids are gonna put me in a mental hospital." HATE. It seems like, to me, a person who has been in a mental institution or has known someone in a mental institution wouldn't joke about this because it's not a great place to be. I remember visiting my dad and brother and it was terrifying for me and not something I'd make light of. <strong>Also when someone says something like "Oh I'm so depressed" just as a way to say they are tired/sad/worn out/etc. Have you been diagnosed with depression?</strong> Do you know how horrible it is to have depressed thoughts going through your mind at 400 mph? Constant fear of judgment by others when you admit you have depression. UGH.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

I understand what you're saying, but the "depressed" example is the only one I don't agree with you on. To me, someone can be "depressed" without actually being diagnosed with depression, officially.

BecW2be · December 2010

I really like Reddy. But that's not a grievance.

J&K10910 · December 2010

I really like Bec. But that IS a grievance. Because she won't come visit me.

maratea · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2803d56d-050d-41e2-96f3-0110e5af2351Post:3d3f693c-9991-41d4-a149-38612135c0c6">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : I understand what you're saying, but the "depressed" example is the only one I don't agree with you on. To me, someone can be "depressed" without actually being diagnosed with depression, officially.
Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]

They can be sad, have the blues, whatever, but to me depression is an entirely different thing. Because being depressed doesn't always mean being sad.

AYG

Re: AYG

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